Christmas letters ... yay or nay??

fargomom

fargomom

Cathlete
Thoughts on sending out Christmas letters? Are you for it or against?

My DH and I used to send out Christmas letters for the first few years of our marriage, but now we don't. We have our reasons .... worried we come across too braggy, feel like we're reapeating stuff people already know, taking away from the real reason for Christmas, etc, etc. But based on the amount of letters we still receive from family and friends, we're in the minority.

So ... I'm curious, if you send out letters, why do you do it? And how do you find a nice balance so you it's not all "me-me-me?" And if you don't send out letters, do you do something else instead? Or just send a card or picture?
 
I call them gag letters when they go on and on about what the family did ALL year. I fit mine on an address label, and stick it on the back of the picture... Condensed and to the point!
 
I just usually send a picture of my kids. I personally hate getting Christmas letters, usually brag brag brag. I love the previous poster's idea about putting a label on the back with a concise message. I may just have to steal that one this year ;)!
Paula
 
I love getting Christmas letters, sitting down at night with a cup of tea and reading about my friends' lives and kids. So I always feel obligated to send one. This year, I'm printing photo cards and just having a condensed version (hopefully humorous) printed on the inside. I receive a couple that are so funny .... along the lines of "Top 10 Things We Learned This Year" and then there'll be a story like never leaving the whipped cream in close proximity to the 2-year old and the dog, always with a cute photo.

Of course, then I get some that I really think are identical to the previous year's letter .... yawn. One friend actually had some of the same exact paragraphs about her daughter (I couldn't help it, I checked ....!) :)
 
I hate Christmas letters. If I'm that close to you, we've already talked. If I'm not, I'm not interested in hearing about it. If you want to update me on your life, do it some other time, not in holiday greetings. But that's just me.
 
I love getting Christmas letters. It's fun to hear about what families did throughout the year. Personally I don't send them b/c I just don't have time. I send Christmas cards printed w/ family pics and I love gettingfitmom's idea of the address label...very clever. It's probably 50/50 on whether people like to get them or not. So, I would recommend doing them if it's something you enjoy. If someone hates the letter, they don't have to read them. But I'm sure you have lots of friends and family who would love to hear about what went on w/ your family this year.
 
Frankly, I do not care for the Christmas letters wherein the recipients are told how wonderful life has been and all that has been accomplished that year. Somehow, I feel they can be insensitive to people who are really struggling, especially at that time of year. Really, the people who need to know about me and mine, know about me.

I think a nice card with a picture of your family or you and your dogs or whatever is just nice and maybe something to encourage the recipient of the card.
 
I am with "nay"there have been so many times when depressed or having some kind of hardship and hearing about how perfect someone is and their fabulously overachieving family is can be very painful to read about. Humility is sorely lacking these days sometimes .
 
The only time I ever received one was in 2001. It was from a guy I broke up with in 1995. He was always putting me down--stuff like that. I hadn't heard a peep from him until this letter. The letter said stuff like, "I got a job as a FINANCIAL ANALYST with BOEING. I am currently dating woman who is a PHYSICIAN." He actually wrote it like that. My son was 5 weeks old at the time, but I had Post Partum Depression and my thinking was rather distorted at the time. I didn't feel good about myself as mother and this letter was just the proverbial straw. I wasn't in a place emotionally where I could write him back to ask him not to contact me. It was all that I could do to get through the day. If I hadn't been depressed, I would have laughed at how little self-esteem this letter showed to me. Then I would have asked him not to contact me again.

This really made me angry because he had obviously made an effort to track me down. I had moved around a lot since we broke up, I even moved over seas for a while.

In retrospect, it was probably good that I didn't engage him, as that was most likely what he wanted. I guess my brief experience with a Christmas letter has left a bad taste in my mouth about them. :confused:
 
ITA about the brag-fest. Our friends have moved toward the funny photo collage cards which is awesome because you get a snapshot of the highlights of the year but not a bunch of mundane dribble and blah, blah. I keep those and look back at them from prior years. You get to see how the kids have grown & what they are into (briefly).

Pam
 
I would tolerate the Christmas letters a lot better if they were balanced. Tell me about the challenges you had during the year as well as the positive stuff - you will seem more like a real human being that way. :)

I have a couple of friends who have been sending out these letters for years. They always have this "aren't we great" tone which kind of makes me gag. If I weren't such a nice person I would send out a hard luck letter with things like "my dog died, my son was diagnosed with a heart condition, my husband went to jail, the house was broken into, the car was stolen, I lost my job, my identity was stolen, my mother was caught shoplifting, I gained 15 lbs, I had a botched nose job, my daughter was expelled from school", etc., etc.

Stebby
 
pjlippert said:
ITA about the brag-fest. Our friends have moved toward the funny photo collage cards which is awesome because you get a snapshot of the highlights of the year but not a bunch of mundane dribble and blah, blah. I keep those and look back at them from prior years. You get to see how the kids have grown & what they are into (briefly).

Pam
Click to expand...

Now THAT is a good idea! Light and humorous, but gives you the info you want.

Stebby
 
I love the Christmas letter...unless it's just a summary of someone's vacations for the year without them actually telling you something cool about it (e.g., visited a farmer who makes goat cheese. did you know goats eat cotton? Me neither until the hem of my skirt was gone) Sometimes these letters are only contact I have with my extended friends that year...I want to know if they got a dog or their mom won $5k inVegas....if its boring, oh well, it's still better than just a signed card from somebody I haven't seen in a year.

And I send Christmas letters, too, but always try to make them funny...it's truly about my life the previous year, not just the good stuff. I try to write the kind of letter I'd like to get. Usually by now I have an idea for my letter, but this year I'm stumped. I've spent the last 6 weeks staring at the wall healing...not a lot of inspiration there. Maybe I'll steal the top 10 things learned idea...oh, and there's ALWAYS a picture of my cats in there with thought bubbles...what they have to say is always way more interesting than what I've written!

Trixoo
 
In our immediate family (siblings and parents and grandparents), we exchange Christmas letters with as many (or as little) pictures + details as the writer desires. We do this instead of exchanging gifts because we all live in different parts of the country and it helps unite us as a family to know what's going on in each family's life. Plus it saves a lot of money on Christmas gifts, which is great in tough economic times.

For friends and distant relatives (cousins and beyond), DH and I send a picture card with something like "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas" printed on it. No newsletter. Sometimes we'll write a short personalized note, but we figure these people don't care about the brag letters like our immediate family does.
 
I didn't even realize this went on! As a non participator, the cards and pics sound nice, the letter I don't like the sound of that, I imagine more than not they would by default sound very braggy. BUT amongst family, I think it's a nice idea.
 
It totally depends on who writes them.

I hate the braggy, braggy ones where they act like their life is a bed of roses and everything is always good and happy, and they've accomplished more than anyone else on the planet. On the other hand, who wants to hear bad news?

I think the best thing to do, if you insist on sending out such letters, is just update on your family members in terms of how old they are now, what grade they're in, who got married, who changed jobs, etc. Anything else is just GAG.

I have one friend who used to include his sons' height and weight in every Christmas letter. He was so disillusioned to think he was raising the next generation of NFL players, so his "big, strong sons" were a huge deal to him. I hate to say it... but all these years later, with his sons now just fat and lazy, I can't help but want to ask him .... "So Robert... what do your sons weigh NOW?" :rolleyes:
 
I agree. It totally depends on who is writing the letter. I find, in our family, those people who are braggy and full of themselves in person are also braggy and full of themselves in their Christmas letter.

Humor. Balancing good with bad. Keeping it short and sweet. All good things. I also like the idea of just sending a Christmas letter to certain people. When my DH and I used to send letters, we would send them to everyone for fear of leaving somone out or word getting around that some family received letters and some didn't. It's nice to hear it doesn't have to be that way though.

I, too, have thought about sending out a Christmas letter filled with all the bad things that have happened to our family over the past year. :p It is really annoying to read about a perfect family and their perfect trips and perfect jobs, etc, etc. when everything is decidedly NOT perfect in your own life. But, like someone else said, who wants to read just bad news?? Then again, just because my life isn't perfect doesn't mean it isn't wonderful!!!!

Thanks for the feedback. To each their own! As for us, no Christmas letter this year. I wasn't too keen on doing one and neither was my DH. I did do up a nice little photo card though and I'm happy with that. :D
 
I still do a handwritten card each year, with an update, like in the old days :p

I figure that a lot of my communication (I'm overseas) is via e-mail or Facebook. I feel that a handwritten note is something personal, and since very few people do them anymore, that it stands out. It sure takes a lot of time, though, and my list got smaller over the years.

Sometimes as I'm writing out a different twist on the same thing for the 15th time, I daydream about just writing "Happy Holidays" or doing the bulk letter, but I still plod along.
 
tralaiven said:
Frankly, I do not care for the Christmas letters wherein the recipients are told how wonderful life has been and all that has been accomplished that year. Somehow, I feel they can be insensitive to people who are really struggling, especially at that time of year. Really, the people who need to know about me and mine, know about me.
Click to expand...

nsaeolian said:
I am with "nay"there have been so many times when depressed or having some kind of hardship and hearing about how perfect someone is and their fabulously overachieving family is can be very painful to read about. Humility is sorely lacking these days sometimes .
Click to expand...

This has been my experience. Its not like I can't enjoy another's success, not at all, but its the letters that are typed and a full page about EVERYTHING they did that year including Disney vacations and the new car, and the new kitchen, etc. Holy crap, don't talk to me about your stuff!

expatter said:
I still do a handwritten card each year, with an update, like in the old days :p

I figure that a lot of my communication (I'm overseas) is via e-mail or Facebook. I feel that a handwritten note is something personal, and since very few people do them anymore, that it stands out. It sure takes a lot of time, though, and my list got smaller over the years.

Sometimes as I'm writing out a different twist on the same thing for the 15th time, I daydream about just writing "Happy Holidays" or doing the bulk letter, but I still plod along.
Click to expand...

I hand-write my Christmas cards too! I'll write about a paragraph that sums up the year loosely. I can't seem to just write my name in a card and send it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top