Are you a fitness snob?

You are not a horrible person. It takes some guts to admit something like that, really it does, so I applaud you for being honest about how you are feeling.

If I was to be completely honest, I guess I am a fitness snob, too. I don't know anyone who is severely overweight who eats right, so it the blame can't fall on genetics solely, though I know people who eat McD's everyday who like to play that card. I have been overweight after each of my children and HATED IT, hated the way I felt, hated the way I looked, hated the way I felt about myself. That was motivation enough for me to get my butt in gear and lose over 40 pounds each time - 130ish total that took almost 3 years to lose all together. Because of my experience, it is a little hard for me to be understanding of why someone would let themself get obese and make excuses as to why they are the way they are.

I watched DH play football last Thanksgiving, and I was sitting with some other wives whose hubbies were playing. They were eating chips and cookies and other junk food while I was throwing the ball around with DS. They were already overweight. One of them said that I looked so good, you couldn't tell I had three kids, yada yada, and then attributed it to my age - MY AGE! I had kids just the same as they did, but had MORE kids, and my age had nothing to do with it. It is hard work, HARD!, especially after you have had kids and your body changes in ways that you don't like no matter how old you are. I worked hard, I eat right and I don't sit on my bum and eat Little Debbie's snacks. I am disgusted by people who are overweight and make excuses as to why others around them are skinny so they can justify their unhealthy binges.

I try so hard to understand that everyone is different and can't have the motivation that I have. I can't though. When people ask me how I lost weight, they hate what I tell them. They want a quick fix and don't want to have to work for it. I can't feel bad for someone who isn't willing to work at something and then complains for how they are. I have about as much sympathy for someone who is an druggie. Same addiction problem, just different addiction.


And I am with you on the obesity related illnesses, Laura. When the doctor tells you that you are going to have a heart attack if you don't lose weight and then you go out to grab a value meal from BK, I cannot feel sorry for you. There is so much information out there, and there are so many programs and support groups that are free. I went to the same public schools that most of you went to and still was able to learn that green vegetables are important, as well as fruit.

Oh, I feel so ugly now.

Missy
 
I have mixed feelings about this. I've always wondered about the process of getting to be extremely overweight--say, 100 pounds. How do you get to be that heavy? Do you not notice or not care? Or a combination of the two? Is it the type of thing where once you reach, say, 50 pounds overweight, your body is stuck on a slow metabolism and you need to make drastic changes to start taking weight off? It all seems pretty foreign to me--I freak out when I gain 5 pounds of water weight.

On the other hand, I can't imagine the kind of determination and effort it would take to lose that much weight. A couple of jobs ago I had a co-worker who was 100+ pounds overweight. She had type 2 diabetes and all sorts of health problems, and was trying to lose weight. A very slow walk down the block (a very short block) would leave her completely out of breath--she'd have to stop and rest.
 
oh missy i get the age thing too,so i feel you there. usually from relatives, while many on this board are much older and are in better shape then ME. age ain't nothing but a number unless you can complete that number of reps. LOL bravo to you and every other person that have overcomed obesity. i didn't have the much to lose but i was more about getting healthy and taking my life back. and i believe anybody can achieve thinking along those lines.


kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
I have to admit, this thread has made me very angry. I am a "formerly" obese person. I weighed 250 pounds. I am neither dumb, uneducated, from a low socio-economic status, lazy, uninformed or any of the other quite disparaging remarks made here. I have an eating disorder. Yes, compulsive overeating is a medically recognized eating disorder. It is the flip side of anorexia. I am also angry at people who "pity" obese people. That really isn't cool either. I had to work hard to overcome my eating disorder. It takes a lot of dedication. And also, once you have "ruined" your body, it is really hard to get back to a healthy weight. I still have about 20 pounds to go. I don't want anybody's pity. Compassion, support and understanding yes, but pity no.

Severely overweight people need help and support to overcome their problem. Just like depressed people, anorexic people - anybody really. Those people that you see every day are in a lot pain, and they are overweight for many reasons. The same reasons that might make someone else restrict their calories to 900 a day and over exercise, take drugs and alcohol etc, cut on themselves etc.

Oh well, I know I won't convince anyone. But had to share my thoughts.
 
See, no flames. I am so proud of all of us--it's great to be able to "talk" about this stuff open & honestly.

Missy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel ugly. One of the reasons I posted it was b/c it made me feel bad for feeling mean, but we all work so hard! We deserve to feel superior! :p
 
Nope, you're not horrible. It's honest. People in great shape tend to gravitate to the same. However, let me put some perspective for you.

I spent my whole childhood extremely obese. I did not lose the weight (150 lbs of it) until I was 16. I grew up in a divorced home. In a nutshell, it was an ugly mess. My older brother became parentified and my mom was not around. I developed depression issues amongst other things. Although it is not an excuse to go wild and lose all control it is just simply not that easy when you are a child.

End of story, I got my act together as an adult and I am at the happiest I have ever been in my life. I certainly don't hold a lower opinion of obese people. I guess my first instinct is to wonder what is going on in their lives to cause it? People are not usually significantly obese for no reason. It is a shield and a comfort for something.

Anyway, that's my quarter, dime, and a few nickels for this subject ;)


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
>I have to admit, this thread has made me very angry. I am a
>"formerly" obese person. I weighed 250 pounds. I am neither
>dumb, uneducated, from a low socio-economic status, lazy,
>uninformed or any of the other quite disparaging remarks made
>here. I have an eating disorder. Yes, compulsive overeating
>is a medically recognized eating disorder. It is the flip
>side of anorexia. I am also angry at people who "pity" obese
>people. That really isn't cool either. I had to work hard to
>overcome my eating disorder. It takes a lot of dedication.
>And also, once you have "ruined" your body, it is really hard
>to get back to a healthy weight. I still have about 20 pounds
>to go. I don't want anybody's pity. Compassion, support and
>understanding yes, but pity no.
>
>Severely overweight people need help and support to overcome
>their problem. Just like depressed people, anorexic people -
>anybody really. Those people that you see every day are in a
>lot pain, and they are overweight for many reasons. The same
>reasons that might make someone else restrict their calories
>to 900 a day and over exercise, take drugs and alcohol etc,
>cut on themselves etc.
>
>Oh well, I know I won't convince anyone. But had to share my
>thoughts.

I'm not going to blast anyone I only ask for compassion for overweight and obese people. I guess this thread upset me as well....many overweight/obese people have very serious life threatening eating disorders. It is not a matter of will power or want power or laziness. Scientist have discovered chemical differences in the brain (especially with Glutamine and Dopamine which are linked to depression as well) between the average normal weight person and the overweight compulsive eater......they don't have an "off switch" in the brain so they binge. They can't help themselves...imagine having to live life without a stop mechanism in your brain. Medications like Topamax and others are saving their lives, but have really tough side effects. Newer ones are being developed and give them hope. Everyone's chemical and physical make-up is so different I just would never feel right judging anyone.

JMO,
Robin
 
I am right there with you, Laura :)

I lost 80 pounds about ten years ago. I know the struggle of educating yourself, putting those tactics to use and really hammering down to make that difference. And you know what? It IS DO-ABLE.

That being said, it is hard and people can be mean, even when you are trying. I remember after losing 40 pounds, I joined a gym. They gave me a fitness test - 20 minutes on the stair master, treadmill and bike. Honestly, for still being 40 pounds overweight, I had good endurance and strength. The trainer was standing next to me on the stair master while I was doing it and every time another trainer went by, he'd say "yeah, she is still going - I can't believe it." I finished every last minute jsut to show him that I could and when I was done, I very politely informed him that he was an a$$ and needed to be sensitive to his members if he expected to have any clients.

I have all the respect in the world for and try to encourage those that are trying to make a difference and have a healthier life. I don't have respect for someone that makes excuses, complains about being overweigt while eating Doritos, or tells me that they want to lose weight but they "can't exercise because..." (the latest of that being "I don't like to sweat.")

If that makes mse a snob, I am.
 
I think it is simply amazing that you have been able to get where you are today through hard work and dedication. I think that you are a great example to those who share your eating disorder. :) I don't intend to be insensitive to those who have genuine problems such as depression and eating disorders, and I do apologize to you if you took anything I said that way.

There is a reason why SO many people in the United States are overweight, and the reason is not because so much more of us are depressed than anywhere else in the world. Everything about our culture is about immediate and easy results, about pleasure seeking, about having things in large quantities. We want and have everything faster, easier, and with less work than anywhere else in the world. We also live in a culture where we can blame or sue others instead of taking personal responsibility for our own actions and undesireable results or use "crutches" as to why things are the way that they are. I don't say this to impugn any of your trials because I know that what you have been through must be very difficult. I have been overwieght and battled losing it, so I know how hard that is, though I didn't have an eating disorder. But for the vast majority of the adults in this country, there is noone to blame but ourselves. I had only myself to blame. I didn't exercise and I ate too much. This is not just about being over-eating, it is about all aspects of our life including excessive debt or excessive divorces. There is a point where we just have to stand up and accept personal responsibility and change ourselves.

Please don't take anything I said as a personal attack, because it isn't. Again, I don't want to come off as insensitive or self-righteous, either and I do apologize if I did.

Missy
 
I think this is an interesting discussion. My issue with the topic is, I think it's wrong to make sweeping generalizations about people that you've arbitrarily grouped into a category based on their physical (or other) characteristics. It smacks of prejudice. (And not the interesting kind that leads to marriage with the dreamy Mr. Darcy, either.) ;-)

And let's put this in perspective. We are fit because we are interested in health, looking good, physiology, etc. We've said many times that what makes this board so interesting is that sheer spectrum of ladies (and the few gents) who participate here. We have different lives, motivations, interests, families, professions, etc. But people who are just stopping by here and aren't really interested in fitness might paint us as a group of fanatics who are obsessed with arse size, boob placement, lacking in other interests, "dumb jockettes," etc.

And that would be wrong, right?

So let's not make assumptions about other folks that we wouldn't like them making about us.

Just my .02.

;-)

Marie
 
I guess I'm also a fitness snob. I look down on obese people who do nothing about it. I too work with fat men. Recently during a lunch meeting, while their stomachs are gurgling since it's having difficulty breaking down the amount of food and type of food eaten, one says to me "I wish I had your metabolism". That really bugged me. MY metabolism?? Um, no. I get up at 4am and bust my butt working out. (I hate getting up that early but it's the only time I can fit my workouts into my day.) AND I don't stuff myself with junk. Now, being pregnant, I'd love to blame this "disorder" to be my excuse to stuff my face with pizza and brownies, but I just wont do that to myself.

Susan C.M.
[link=http://lilypie.com][img noborder]http://bd.lilypie.com/2BB3m5.png[/img][/link]
 
Debbie,

You are the first person I've heard say that being obese is a shield. I came to that conclusion myself a couple of years ago when I started on my own fitness journey. I'm not obese but I am overweight. People hide emotionally and physically. Sometimes, the physical side manifests itself by overeating. It's been a fascinating journey to figure out what I'm personally hiding from. Now, all I have to do is convince myself that I'm brave enough to face my fears.

I'm not a fitness snob. I know it's a hard personal choice/challenge for people to choose fitness over fatness. Some people are up to the challenge and others not. However, all are capable of positive input into our communities. So, I think it's important to try and stay neutral about outward appearances and appreciate people for their contributions.

My 2 cents.
 
Although I respect your opinion, I must admit that I don't feel that way at all.

I was obese once and it was because I had ridiculously high expectations for myself. I would eat one cookie and feel so guilty, that I would eat the whole box to forget my misery. In order to be in control of my weight, I had to have a lot of emotional revelations, I had to learn to be gentle and forgiving with myself and I had to deal with a lot of emotional baggage. Sure, there are probably some overweight people who are that way because they don't give a damn, but I suspect there are plenty more who are struggling and trying to find their way.

In addition, I think there are people, like my DH, who grew up in households where the cooking was so bad, they have a very limited repetoire of foods they will eat, which makes it difficult to lose weight. There are also people whose brains don't give off the "satisfied" message as well as others, and people with naturally addictive personalities and food sensitivities.....etc., etc.

All I'm saying is that everyone is different, and what is easy for one may be difficult for another. As my Mom always says, variety is the spice of life.

I know this will sound naive, but I honestly believe that if you dig down deep enough you will find that almost every human being is doing the best he/she can with the hand he/she was dealt.

-Nancy
 
> True! Someone can be on the "thicker" side b/c of genetics
>but I don't think they need to let that reason get them to 350
>lbs either.
>

I think too many people use that as an excuse. It's more what they learned to eat and the lifestyle they learned in their family, and not genetics per se. Genetics may "load the gun," but you have to "pull the trigger," except in some very RARE cases.

No blasting from me.
 
My mom was 5'2" and 180 lbs for as long as I can remember. She ate whatever she wanted and didn't care a hoot what anybody thought about it. She could put away a pound of pasta without batting an eyelash.

She never got her drivers license so she walked everywhere she went. She started up her own business--2 of them--and worked into her mid seventies. After she sold her business, she started volunteering and did that full time up into her mid eighties. She lived alone and did everything for herself until she went into a nursing home at age 87. She died 3 days before her 90th birthday of natural causes. She lived a long and fruitful life and accomplished more in her lifetime than most people ever dream of. She was obese for as long as I can remember, but was one of the hardest working people I have ever known.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I HATE stereotypes and not all obese people are lazy slobs.

Michele
 
I think I am a bit of a fitness snob, but it is a part of me that I really don't like. When I see obese people I am immediately disgusted, and think how can they possibly live like that? But I know this is prejudiced and narrow minded and I'm not proud of thinking these thoughts. I know that weight and food issues are very complicated and it's not a matter of *just saying no*. Although I wasn't obese I was significantly overweight and I lost the weight, but it's a lot more than just saying no to food and yes to exercise. It's a constant battle with emotional baggage, addictive issues, and body chemistry due to stress and all sorts of other things. I agree with Nancy above and the other posters that say it's wrong to judge people we don't understand. I find myself doing it when it comes to obesity because I am fairly disciplined and hard working in that particular area, but it's still wrong.
 
And, if you think about it Ducky, those people who have trouble losing weight probably have other things that come quite easily to them that we wish we could do so well. I mean, whenever I feel like looking down at someone for something, I just think of all the things I could look up to them for, and the feeling goes away.

For example, when my stepson was obese and not taking the time to eat right or exercise, he was also working hard in school, getting straight A's and holding down a couple of jobs. When things settled down, he focused on his health and lost 110 lbs. But I never looked down at him. Who am I to say that health should always come first? He will have those grades and those accomplishments on his resume for the rest of his life. Maybe it was a worthwhile sacrifice.
 
>We deserve to feel superior! :p



i was with you until this comment.... :(

-------------
cute work out clothes are good for AT LEAST an additional 10-15 calories burned!
 
No flames here - just my opinion.....:p

I have to admit that it makes me angry when people who have always been thin and never had a weight problem look down on overweight people. Some people have never had to deal with the struggle of losing weight and are quick to judge. For some of us, it is harder than others. Just because someone has a better physique than someone else does not necessarily mean that person is working harder than the other. Sometimes results come easier for some because of better genetics. I have to work so hard for what I have yet I have friends who eat whatever they want and never exercise who are thinner than me. (though maybe not as toned }( )

While I have lost quite a bit of weight myself, I can see how hard it is and how easy it is to give up. There are also people who aren't as motivated as others who will give up because they aren't seeing results. I have friends who aren't obese that come to me asking how they can tone up and/or lose weight. When I say the words "clean eating" or "exercise" they throw their arms up and say forget it! Everyone wants something quick and fast.

I DO agree with LauraMax's statement about admiring people who are obese who are trying. For years, I was interested in running but I was too afraid of going outdoors for fear that people would shout ugly names from passing cars. (How ridiculous is that?) It takes a lot of guts especially in a gym to get up in front of a bunch of people with perfect bodies and workout. Heck, I STILL feel so self-conscious in a gym!

Anyway, hope I didn't contradict myself or offend anyone but that's my 2 cents!
 
I'm 5'1" or so and 105-110 lbs. I gained close to 40 lbs. during both of my pregnancies, I remember getting out of breath going up and down stairs, I had back aches, knee soreness, sleep problems and feeling very uncomfortable. Carrying extra weight around is not easy on the body and organs. That's why I have compassion for people who are obese. Just my two cents. Peace.:)

Linda
 
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