Are you a fitness snob?

Hi Laura,

By your explanation, I am not a fitness snob. I am not going to blast you because you can always learn something by listening to other people discuss an issue. I do think that you can be honest and sensative to other people at the same time.

I know people who work very long hours and are very good at what they do. In other words, hard working and intelligent. Between work, family and other things, exercise and eating right go out the window. I think everyone has different priorities in life. Their weight should not make them less of a person. You are confusing inner and outer beauty and placing importance in the wrong place, JMO. Another example, some people do have medical conditions that cause a vicious cycle of weight gain for them. You never know what people are going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Illness & medical problems can be related to a number of vices & behaviors (smoking, drinking, eating habits & disorders, even with exercise & sports, injuries occur) not just obesity.

Give this some more thought and really look beyond the surface,
jordan

PS if my post comes up multiple times, please forgive me, I'm having problems posting.
 
Does that mean on the next Cathe roadtrip I would have to keep my Doritos and Nachos hidden from everyone in my car and wear baggy clothes to keep from being judged? Hmmm...Maybe not....I'm skinny so it might be okay.

Food for thought......
Robin
 
Wow Laura,

As you know I'm obese now. I got that way from yes, overeating. While it was happening, I didn't know, I couldn't see it. In fact, my mind was so blind to it that when my clothes wouldn't fit, I actually thought the washing machine and dryer was shrinking them. I didn't realize I'd gotten fat until it was way past too late. Not until I happened to take a picture and saw myself in the picture.

I struggle and struggle daily. To change an entire three decades of eating habits within a year or two is extremely hard. Especially when you have to do so to lose 100+ pounds. It's disheartening to know that no matter how much of a friend I can be, no matter how much I can try to better the world, no matter how hard I struggle, I'm disgusting in someone's eyes (whom I felt was a sweet lady on the trip) when I slip up and fall back into my old habits. If there are so many with that attitude, why would an obese person intentionally go in front of them trying to lose weight? I guess it's no use in explaining what I'm feeling though. You usually can't change another person's feelings~It's why I usually don't join these kind's of threads.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/img/bar08/slider-scale/lb/0/81/26/.png[/img][/url]
 
I do not intend to blast anyone with my comments, but I felt as though I had to respond.
Sometimes it is not that easy just to get off your butt and lose weight. There are so many factors that affect one's weight. Earlier posters mentioned many, including genetics, personal issues that affect one's relationship with food, and life events.

You never know what another person is going through and I think it is unfair to judge them based on something they may not have the most control over. Yes, it is easy to say one needs to eat right and exercise. But it is not always easy for that particular person.
My mother was thin until her third pregnancy where she did not immediately lose the baby weight and the pounds continued to increase after my dad left her and left us with nothing. Instead of worrying about losing those pounds, my mom worked hard to raise her three children and give them a loving home.

For the past 10 years she has struggled to lose weight, but her metabolism is shot. She watches her calories, eats clean, and exercises regularly but the weight refuses to budge.

My mother may not be 110 pounds but she is an incredibly stong and loving person and I know she would not be so quick to judge any one of us as some on this board seem to be.

Jessica
 
>I struggle and struggle daily. To change an entire three
>decades of eating habits within a year or two is extremely
>hard. Especially when you have to do so to lose 100+ pounds.
>It's disheartening to know that no matter how much of a friend
>I can be, no matter how much I can try to better the world, no
>matter how hard I struggle, I'm disgusting in someone's eyes
>(whom I felt was a sweet lady on the trip) when I slip up and
>fall back into my old habits. If there are so many with that
>attitude, why would an obese person intentionally go in front
>of them trying to lose weight? I guess it's no use in
>explaining what I'm feeling though. You usually can't change
>another person's feelings~It's why I usually don't join these
>kind's of threads.


Christi,

I was quite moved by your post. I know so many people in the same boat you're in--and I've been there too. I'm struggling with all my might to drop that last 25 pounds.

It's hard to understand how anyone can be so utterly superficial in their assessment of another human being. A lot of what I have seen on this forum bears little resemblance to a TRULY healthy lifestyle. I believe there are a fair number of women who regularly post here that are struggling with eating disorders and poor self-image--women who are driven by compulsion to exercise and diet obsessively. These are not healthy women by any stretch of the imagination, yet they escape ridicule because they appear fit and healthy even though they are not.

It occurs to me as well that people who are so harsh in their judgement must need to be so in order to inflate their own sagging self-image. Let's face it, every single one of us has SOMETHING that is less than perfect--something that would make us shudder if it were held up for public scrutiny. Yet, why do people feel that it's okay to belittle someone just because they are overweight?

This forum is wonderful in many ways and I have come to know some really lovely people here, but it's not without it's pitfalls. In my mind, this is supposed to be a place for people to come when they need instruction, support, and encouragement. Some of the remarks made in this thread do little to foster that kind of environment. I have no problem with serious debate over important issues like obesity, but I have a BIG problem when the tone and tenor of the discussion is disparaging and just plain hurtful. And I have a pretty good sense of humor too, so I don't think I take things too seriously. Now, let's see what lurks in your closet, shall we?

Michele
 
Holy wow, people. I guess it shouldn't be surprising that some extremely fit people (and not just on this board by any means) hold this very elitist position. So you feel powerful over the not so fit or completely out of shape? Oy.

Look, I my post above just tips the iceberg of this whole topic. To reiterate, YES, I do believe people who are obese are using it as some form of shield/comfort for other issues. Is this in totality? No, of course not. I'm sure there are a select bunch who are just too lazy to care otherwise. However, I truly believe that eating is our most primal instinct and it is by far one of the easiest and most legal ways to comfort ourselves.

Do I look at all overweight people and think, oh they have ISSUES? Not exactly. Maybe it's better to say that I may look and just wonder what is going on in their lives that fitness may not be a priority.

I cannot and will not look down to people who are not as fit as we are. We come in all shapes and forms and I do think we need to look beyond that outer shell to see the person that is beneath. Hey, and I undersand that society is not like this. We look to appeareances (no pun intended) for a first impression....but, we can start to be amongst the minority that may look beyond this.

Am I promoting being overweight or poor health? Absolutely not. I believe everyone should be educated and encouraged to embrace their best health possible. But remember folks, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. They have to ready or at least seeking the help, and sometimes even that's not enough. Let's just try to maintain a little perspective in the whole issue.


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
Dude, did I just have this thought at 5:30 in the morning? Coffee = smartness & love :)


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
>>I struggle and struggle daily. To change an entire three
>>decades of eating habits within a year or two is extremely
>>hard. Especially when you have to do so to lose 100+ pounds.
>
>>It's disheartening to know that no matter how much of a
>friend
>>I can be, no matter how much I can try to better the world,
>no
>>matter how hard I struggle, I'm disgusting in someone's eyes
>>(whom I felt was a sweet lady on the trip) when I slip up
>and
>>fall back into my old habits. If there are so many with
>that
>>attitude, why would an obese person intentionally go in
>front
>>of them trying to lose weight? I guess it's no use in
>>explaining what I'm feeling though. You usually can't
>change
>>another person's feelings~It's why I usually don't join
>these
>>kind's of threads.
>
>
>Christi,
>
>I was quite moved by your post. I know so many people in the
>same boat you're in--and I've been there too. I'm struggling
>with all my might to drop that last 25 pounds.
>
>It's hard to understand how anyone can be so utterly
>superficial in their assessment of another human being. A lot
>of what I have seen on this forum bears little resemblance to
>a TRULY healthy lifestyle. I believe there are a fair number
>of women who regularly post here that are struggling with
>eating disorders and poor self-image--women who are driven by
>compulsion to exercise and diet obsessively. These are not
>healthy women by any stretch of the imagination, yet they
>escape ridicule because they appear fit and healthy even
>though they are not.
>
>It occurs to me as well that people who are so harsh in their
>judgement must need to be so in order to inflate their own
>sagging self-image. Let's face it, every single one of us has
>SOMETHING that is less than perfect--something that would make
>us shudder if it were held up for public scrutiny. Yet, why do
>people feel that it's okay to belittle someone just because
>they are overweight?
>
>This forum is wonderful in many ways and I have come to know
>some really lovely people here, but it's not without it's
>pitfalls. In my mind, this is supposed to be a place for
>people to come when they need instruction, support, and
>encouragement. Some of the remarks made in this thread do
>little to foster that kind of environment. I have no problem
>with serious debate over important issues like obesity, but I
>have a BIG problem when the tone and tenor of the discussion
>is disparaging and just plain hurtful. And I have a pretty
>good sense of humor too, so I don't think I take things too
>seriously. Now, let's see what lurks in your closet, shall
>we?
>
>Michele

Well said, Michele. I couldn't agree more with your comment about few women on this board living a truly healthy lifestyle. IMO, there are a number of women here who show clear signs of disordered eating, body dysmorphic and orthorexia. Of course, I'm no doctor but I have been there and think I can recognize the signs. This is why I've been so happy with the "moderation" threads.

Also, to everyone I wanted to say that I didn't get the impression from Laura's first post that she was trying to disparage obese people but to make some sense of her own feelings. We all have had unpleasant thoughts about others that we are ashamed/confused by. I like that we can speak our minds on this board.

And, last but not least, I wanted to say that I disagree with the notion that obese/heavy/out of shape people do not choose to be fat. Yes, they do. No judgment there, it's just a fact. Very very few people have an obesity that they can attribute to anything other than lifestyle. Sure, some folks' genetics make them naturally plumper than say, my skinny sis, but as I said in another post, no healthy person is genetically predisposed to be 350 lbs. I have known, have been, and continue do know several overweight people. One came to be that due to surgery that left her depressed and immobile for three months. Now, she chooses to work out four days a week to get back in shape. I have another friend who has always been big. She wants to lose weight but tells me it is too hard. She chooses to sleep in instead of getting on her elliptical. We choose everyday how to live our lives. Obesity is no exception. The power to choose is a gift and we should not take that away from people by saying they have no control over their fitness.

Okay. Off to soap box to get some coffee :) Have a great day all!

Sparrow
 
Also, on the flip side, some of those women on the "fitness" circuit are probably dangerously unhealthy, pumping their body full of whatever miracle pill will get them down to some ridiculously low level of body fat. They "look" good but what they do to get there is hardly commendable.

Marie
 
>Also, to everyone I wanted to say that I didn't get the
>impression from Laura's first post that she was trying to
>disparage obese people but to make some sense of her own
>feelings. We all have had unpleasant thoughts about others
>that we are ashamed/confused by. I like that we can speak our
>minds on this board.

>Sparrow


I agree. I didn't get the impression from Laura's initial post that she intended to disparage anyone. But some of the other posts? Wow!! I guess some people don't realize how cruel and condescending they are.

Michele
 
LauraMax,

From reading what you wrote in your post, I don't believe you are a fitness snob because someone may be thin (and very unfit) but would not be judged the same way as someone who is obese. I think because so much of OUR lives are consumed by fitness, eating clean, and about how we look, we cannot imagine feeling any other way.

I don't think you are a fitness snob. I think you, like so many, have a hard time understanding the mindset of "obese" people.

I work with overweight and obese people everyday, and I can assure you that there are as many reasons people are overweight as there are overweight people. And there are many, many, obese people struggling and working (probably harder than any of us) to workout and change their diets. It is a struggle for me to work with them at the gym as they are terrified of being stared at and being judged. I have them look at my face (and my face only) to concentrate on the task at hand. I cannot protect them from all of the jeers, but I do try.

I think I understand what you are saying and I do respect your opinion and your honesty. My goal is to strive to be more loving, tolerant and compassionate of people's differences. I know I'm not perfect. Unfortunately, with obesity there is no hiding and it does cause a lot of pain. I certainly want to help and not add to that pain.
 
Sparrow - I must admit that I'd be eating just like your sister if I could get away with it! I watch what I eat to stay thin, even though I KNOW I should be doing it to stay healthy. I'd be putting away half a dozen donuts every single day before 8AM if it would not make me gain weight.

So what does that make me? I'm really WANT the eating habits of an obese person, but my desire to stay thin is stronger. Does that mean I'm superior? Not hardly! I'm sort of ashamed of this admission, but it's the truth!
Just Do It! :)
 
>Also, to everyone I wanted to say that I didn't get the
>impression from Laura's first post that she was trying to
>disparage obese people but to make some sense of her own
>feelings. We all have had unpleasant thoughts about others
>that we are ashamed/confused by. I like that we can speak our
>minds on this board.

>Sparrow

I agree 100%, Sparrow!

I also don't think that Laura holds negative feelings towards obese people as a general population. What she seems to be saying is that she has negative feelings towards obese people that do not TRY to lose the weight...successful, not successful is no matter it seems. As awful as her post may have sounded, I don't think it is ACTUALLY quite as bad as it looks....JMO.

Now I don't know if anyone was offended by my response above but I apologize if you were.

All I was saying is that I don't UNDERSTAND obese people who don't WANT to lose the weight. Some are quite comfortable being very large and hey, that's great for them....I just don't get it. I could never do it. I guess it comes down to some awesome self-esteem and in some cases I'm sure it's simply the "I don't give a sh*t either way" attitude but still, I couldn't be like that. I have always been conscious of my weight as an adult and probably always will be. I am not obessive, though.

In addition, my best friend of 25 years is heavy. Maybe even considered obese? Anyway, she is probably close to 100 pounds over weight so I obviously don't have a problem with that...

Hugs to all of you!:)
 
Actually Robyn, I find it sad that you completely missed my point (and BTW, the "superior" comment was a joke, I think some of you people need to lighten up, no pun intended--but you really should get over yourself).

First of all, I also have gone through a major weight loss. I gained about 35 lbs after I turned 30 & realized at some point enough was enough & did something about it. I have also had difficulties in my life that certainly could have caused me to turn to overeating, but I had the discipline & self control not to let that happen.

Second of all, those of you who took offense to what I said obviously didn't bother reading my post about how much I admire obese people who have the courage to do something about it. Of course, if you had paid attention to that post you wouldn't have had the opportunity to whine & complain about something you didn't want to hear.

I am not judging people by their looks, as you seem to want to believe. I am judging people for not taking care of themselves, for blaming everything but themselves for their problems, and for driving up the costs of health care b/c their too lazy to have 30 minutes of physical activity a day. I'm sorry but I just don't buy the excuse that obesity is caused by illness. I think it's the other way around. I would guess maybe 2-3% of obese people are actually that way b/c of an illness or chemical imbalance.

Too bad what should have been an intelligent, rational thread turned into personal attacks & self justifications. I was feeling pretty good about being able to share opinions on the forum in an open & honest way. Now I'm ashamed that there are women out there who can't hear someone else's opinion without bashing them for it.
 
Laura,

I want to clarify my comments lest they be misconstued. I did not take any offense to your post. I was, however, offended by several of the responses. I have no problem with healthy debate over serious and/or controversial issues. In fact, I tend to be drawn to threads of that nature. I believe there is always something to be learned about a topic and about the people who post. I like anything that fosters an understanding of people and issues.;-)

Michele
 
Isn't one of the life's ultimate goals achieving true happiness? We all know that doesn't just come from just fitness or surface fulfillment. If we are trapped inside ourselves believing that life is only worthwhile and fulfilling if we are thin then tell me what is the real point of living. Until we are all free to be ourselves fat or thin as whole people we will never feel truly free or happy. When people perpetuate these false ideas of making our bodies match an illusory ideal of beauty that is a certain weight and shape we are setting women and children back so many years. We are forcing our children into the beauty myths we so dearly want to protect them from.

I keep fit for my own benefit and health. I only wish to be judged on my character as a person not my physical attributes. I have way too many shortcomings to even list, but I am working on them ;-) . I assure you my physical attributes aren't on the list of things that need to be judged by anyone.

Today, I am just so thankful my knees don't hurt at all....I don't have any aches and pains....I can jump really high....I can run, skip and walk and I don't need a cart in a supermarket....Oh yes, I am thankful every day for a wonderful working body, mind and spirit.

All in all, I think we can all say we are so much more then our bodies.

Robin
 
I believe it's a true commitment to eat properly and be fit. If you make the choice and the commitment, you take action and achieve the goal.
 
Laura, I'm with Michele, I didn't think there was much bashing going on in this thread. I do think this is a sensitive issue, so if you post a question like that, of course someone somewhere is going to get offended. I can't think of any thread in recent times that included references to either fat OR skinny people that did not offend someone.

I do think some of us were trying to make other points of view heard in an articulate manner. I think that's only fair; discussion is about listening to other points of view, too.

Maybe you'll feel better if you go hug that pug.
:)

Cheers,
Marie
 
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