Any moms out there that internalize everything in the news?

melimcn

Cathlete
Hi all,
Wondering how or if anyone has suggestions for how to stop doing this! I have a 7 month old little guy at home, and ever since we've had him, I internalize everything that surrounds kids being hurt in the news, movies, etc...

I just read an article in the paper today about a daycare worker that killed a 16 month old because he was being "noisy". She threw him to the floor so hard that it fractured his skull. The poor baby crawled with his blanket to a bouncy chair and died.

This is still making me cry when I think about that poor little one with his blanky, hurt.... My heart is just broken!
I'll stop before I start to cry again.

Do you eventually become numb to this stuff? Or do I just stop reading those stories? Or am I nuts? I just keep thanking God that I can go home and hug my son tonight.
 
I do it too. This may make you feel better or worse, depending. My kids are now 13 and 11 respectively and I found that I'm hyper aware of things that are happening to kids who are the same ages as mine.

I have gone through periods of time of just absolutely avoiding any and all news just because of this - I felt like I was poisoning myself. I couldn't change what happened to these other poor kids, and, really, I couldn't do anything to prevent tragedy coming. So I just protected myself from it.

Now I just try to take each day as it comes, and love them, and my family, and my DF, as though this was the only day I have with them.

But, that's just me. See what others think. Plus, if your sweetie is only 7 months I still say you qualify for pregnancy hormones. And if you're nursing, you get points for that as well.
 
ITA with Suzanne.

I also get really emotional about tragedies... particularly those involving children of the same age as mine (3 & 2).

I try and limit my exposure to the news for this very reason. I like to be informed, but I can only take so much negativity. Life's too short to live in a constant state of worry!

You're not alone! :)
 
I get extremely emotional too.

You have to have a license to fish but not to be a parent! I have stopped reading these articles because it is too draining and sad.
 
this is why i quit even getting the newspaper. im tired of bad news. dh tells me any current events i might be interested in.....and NOT the child-abusing variety.
it makes me sick to my stomach that anyone could hurt a child.:(
 
I especially can't stand when people send me e-mail about the current FAD things going on with kids. My boys are 7 and 5 and are NOT dusting or huffing or meeting people online etc BECAUSE they are not allowed on the computer. And everytime I read something like this it just furthers my insistense of NO TV (movies only) NO computer etc.

For myself, I had to step away from the news because I too worried about everything. It's just too much info. And I was not really learning anything, just worrying.


ellie
 
Oh yeah, which is why I avoid most cable news (except during an election). I can't handle the "if it bleeds, it leads" mentality. I don't want TV in general either (I try to catch Food Network here and there, but even that is effort time-wise), so I never see crime dramas or anything like that.

I read Time and Newsweek, which keeps me somewhat in the loop. I bypass the rest.
 
Get a copy of Gavin de Becker's book "Protecting the Gift". It'll help you see how so many fears are created by the media rather than reality and what you CAN do to protect and teach your child.
 
Ohmy...I know exactly what you are saying. I'm the same way.

I got a bit better as my kids got older, but now I have 3.75 grandbabes (#4 due any day) and so I get to feel the panic all over again.
It is miserable and I feel like my heart is literally gonna break hearing/reading about children being hurt.

The bit posted about the 16 month old is beyond tragic. I can't stand it.:(

I do not read news articles about hurt children, don't watch the news unless it's like Fox or something and only for a few minutes. And never read threads that I know are gonna be about hurt children.

One board I visit regularly has quite a few posts about stories of abused children. I DO NOT read them. period!

And I pray like crazy for all children.
The other stories that can really upset me are animal abuse cases. Can't read them either...can't watch the commercials...I start feeling panicy and anxious...really bad.
 
I'm so gald that it's not just me.
It's not that I was unaware or uncaring about those situations before. But now that I have a little one of my own, it's like I think of it being him in those situations instead.

I'm done reading the news now, I think!
Thanks for making me feel better ladies!
 
I think it's OK to take it to heart and to cry and to truly sympathize. If you didn't you wouldn't be human. I also think it is news and should be reported. As a former journalist, I used to have to cover terrible tragedies and they really hit home. I don't think you can ever be desensitized. But if it's happening in society, it's news. It shouldn't only inspire tears in us but action. Even if it inspires us to say a prayer for that poor baby's grieving parents. Just think, there may have been a parent out there considering putting their child in that facility's care that now will think twice. If I had covered that tragic story, I would have A. reported the facts of the case and B. perhaps gone to child care experts and listed ways in which parents can choose proper daycare facilities. (i.e. does the daycare have online secure video monitoring for parents to check on their children... does the facility have mandatory two or more teachers per class -- so that one person is never left alone with the children... etc.) It's not the news agencies' fault that terrible things happen in this world. It IS their responsibility to report on the bad as well as the good. Ignoring the bad things that happens doesn't make the world a better place. It simply makes us ignorant.
 
The horror of child abuse hit me a whole new way when I had children of my own--a visceral sadness and anger that I can't even really put into words.

Maggie
 
Now that you're a mother, you will see your child in everything bad that happens to another person. Child or not...this is kind of the point I was trying to make when I posted about my BF giving me the details of the serial killers.

I think of my daughter when there's new news of Kaylee, or I listen to stories about the people in Gaza, and I empathize with the parents at Jonestown when they drank the kool-aid because their children were poisoned in front of them. You have a whole new perspective and it will not go away. You'll be feeling it for your children until they bury you.
 
When I was a prosecutor, I always had trouble handling child abuse cases. Once I had children, I found it even more difficult and could barely open the file to read about the horrors. Now it is several years later, and I handle criminal appeals, but I still get emotional reading the trial transcripts and viewing the horrible photos in child abuse/homicide/sexual assault cases. I don't see my sensitivity going away any time soon, either. I won't even watch T.V. shows or movies that depict or report on such abuse. Too upsetting.

You're not alone!

Deborah
 
Hi all,
Wondering how or if anyone has suggestions for how to stop doing this! I have a 7 month old little guy at home, and ever since we've had him, I internalize everything that surrounds kids being hurt in the news, movies, etc...

I just read an article in the paper today about a daycare worker that killed a 16 month old because he was being "noisy". She threw him to the floor so hard that it fractured his skull. The poor baby crawled with his blanket to a bouncy chair and died.

This is still making me cry when I think about that poor little one with his blanky, hurt.... My heart is just broken!
I'll stop before I start to cry again.

Do you eventually become numb to this stuff? Or do I just stop reading those stories? Or am I nuts? I just keep thanking God that I can go home and hug my son tonight.

Oh my God. I hadn't heard that story. I have no children but, I promise you, this will be on my mind when my head hits the pillow.

God, I wish I hadn't read this.
 
I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this issue too!!!

I've been known to just start bawling after reading an obituary of a child in the newspaper that I've never met. Just the thought of it right now, brings tears to my eyes.

I have trained my ear to turn off these things---I quickly scan the obituaries (at ages first)---if there is a young person---the newspaper is shut.

I don't watch the news.

My friends & family know my tendencies. When I can tell someone is going to tell me a sad story---I stop them---I ask, "Is this a real sad story about a child? If so, I'd rather not hear".

Is this simply the way we are wired? Or is it denial of reality? Or is it that we aren't "numb" to what much of the world is?.......

I believe it's because we have "mommy hearts". We love our children so deeply much & we cannot stand the fact that a family/child is suffering.

Congrats on your new baby. You sound like you're a very good mom. :D
 
Melanie...just so you know, people who do not have children can also experience a tremendous amount of sorrow and pain for the suffering of others. That's not to discount life's experiences but I have known parents who were not terribly compassionate and nuns who devoted their lives to helping and protecting children. If you are vulnerable to love someone you are also vulnerable to experience the feelings you have described. It's what makes us human, children or no children.
 
Good point Beaves, I certainly don't want to forget the pain that non-parents may have---which could be just as strong---I'm sure!

For me, it was stronger after I became a mom,....I was young (about 20),...so maybe it has become stronger with age too?

Interesting topic!
 

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top