Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant too)

naughtoj

naughtoj

Cathlete
I'm sorry, but so far these drugs SUCK! I am on Lexapro and initially I thought it may be working but not anymore. The side effects........especially the sexual ones........are HORRIBLE!

I am so frustrated because I don't feel any different!!! I think my coping skills suck, I don't have any friends but have too much anxiety to be any fun around anyway. All the people my age either have kids and don't want to go out or are single and are hitting the bars and don't want to hang around a married woman. I am trying though. I signed up to meet people on a exercise website but after a few emails I don't hear back from them. What's up with THAT?? I am reverting to biting my nails, still don't really want to workout, now can't find a job because I stupidly thought it was better to quit mine and go to nursing school full time. Yeah, Didn't help. In fact, think it made it worse. Now I have no social contact, except for school, and those are two stress filled days and all I do is worry about $$$. And to top it all off, washing my hair is somehow exhausting. If I have to shave too......well, it's the end of the world!! LOL. My eating has gone down the toilet...I never want to eat healthy meals, just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Doritos. Actually, today I had Laffy Taffy for lunch!!

I honestly want to drop out of school, become a personal trainer or aerobics instructor and have a child. OMG!! Where is that coming from?? Am I sabotaging myself or am I simply going with my gut instict?? I honestly feel like if the only thing that I am going to do worthwhile in this lifetime is have my wonderful husband's child......well then I better get on it. I don't think I am ever going to find myself. The stupid counselor I am seeing is no help, all she seems to say is, "Ahh... I see". No kidding. I mean, what is she really teaching me??? Oh, other than my family will NEVER CARE ABOUT ME. LOL. Okee dokee, that helps. She keeps talking about "survivor guilt" and tells me that quitting school is not the answer. She says my anxiety will cause me to fail school if I don't keep it in check but I wonder: Maybe all this freaking out is my body's way of telling me that nursing was never right for me to begin with??? Ugggghh. It sure is hard though when you don't know what IS RIGHT FOR YOU!! Now I don't even have a job to fall back on and figure it all out.

I look back and miss my job and my friends (acquaintances, really) at my old job. I miss working out in the AM and only having to think about whether I want to watch "The Biggest Loser" or "FBI Files" after dinner. My mind is always so cluttered with the meaning of life and whether I am doing the right thing and why I am soooo f'd up, you know? I talk to people at school and they all have better jobs than me, they are all seeming to do better. I hear horror stories of school just getting harder and harder, of horrible teachers that humiliate you in front of the class to try and "break you" and I think, "Man, do I really want to go through all this???" Having a child honestly seems easier and more worthwhile right now. I know it would make my family happy. Maybe that is why I want to do it, cuz I know it will make me visible finally.. I don't know (cue the violin, LOL)

Ok, well, maybe this was not about drugs after all, LOL. Maybe I should just sell my house and make a hundred grand and move to Missouri and be a housewife?? Sometimes it doesn't sound so bad, especially when I feel I am flailing about trying to find my way..x(

And you know........I feel like this even after a catastrophic event like Hurricane Katrina. Maybe something like that has to happen to me before I manage to keep it all in perspective?????:(
 
im sure my answer will be unpopular, but here goes...


why are you second guessing what you seem to want to do and listening so hard to what other people think and comparing yourself to strangers?


there are people who do not believe in all this modern "depression". they believe its what used to be called "unhappiness", and that your state of mind isn't divorced from the circumstances of your life. you obviously don't like nursing school and don't want to do the work it takes to be a nurse.

i went to law school, passed the bar and do not practice. i hated every minute of it and only stayed in law school to make my family happy. it cost everyone in my life time and money, i do not and will not do it under any circumstances, i would work in a corner drugstore first.

stop worrying about what other people think. its YOUR life, no one else's--and you only get one. there's no do-overs. you wont be rewarded for sticking to your guns about nursing school and plopping yourself into a career you hate, and patients are ill-served by nurses who don't want to be there.
 
I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time with life right now. Finding a direction when you just don't which way you want to go is heart-wrenching. I'm right there with you in most of these issues. I also have NO CLUE what I want to do/be. I know I want to go to school more than anything, I just dont know what for. It sucks :D

Please don't let your family pressure you in that way. Dana is right. It's you're life. And if you're not ready, you're not ready. And from experience, I'll tell you that if your family doesn't accept you now, they won't accept you with a child. Period.

As far as nursing goes, it sounds to me like you don't really want to be there. I'm with Dana again in the fact that if this feels more like a nightmarish obligation than a worthwhile challenge, you are NOT doing the right thing. What's the point if you'll be this unhappy? I've been friends with many, many men and women who went through the nursing program. It's TOUGH, but they never doubted what they were doing. You can't. Nursing itself is quite tough, and worth it only if you have a passion for it. If you feel like you'd feel relief for quitting, then you should quit. There are a gazillion other career paths you could choose, including a housewife if that is what's in your heart. Don't settle for something because it's there. And just because you've already begun does not mean you have to stick it out. Not if it doesn't feel right.

From your post, it seems to me that drugs aren't the answer. You know what's wrong, you just have no idea what would make it right. I think the counselor needs to take a hike while find somebody who gets you. Sometimes all it takes is one productive conversation to steer your perspective in the appropriate direction.

Hmmm.. Sorry, my post is longer than yours. I just understand part of what you're going through and wish you the best. And social interaction does help, too. I'm just not good at getting it myself. But I feel a very big difference in my state of mind when I'm dealing with people on a daily basis. If you have to force yourself to act happy, sometimes your mind just gives up and follows along. Oh, and personal trainer and instructor sounds like a fantastic idea, really. I'd think those can be extraordinarily fulfilling careers... not to mention a tremendous motivator to be healthy.

Good luck! I'm so sorry it's a bad time right now. Please just keep on and try to make yourself happy.

Sara
 
Hey Janice,

I took lexapro a while back and I can also say it has some sexual side affects. How long did you take the lexapro? It takes anywhere between four to six weeks before it takes affect. I quit taking it because it caused me not to sleep at night. So therefore I didn't take it long enough to get the affect of the medicine.



Hope everythings works out well for you!:)




kim
 
Gosh, I am so sorry to be so negative you guys. I really should think a bit before I go posting these drama posts.

I know I have a lot to figure out. I am sure of one thing though..that I love my husband more than life itself. Maybe he can help me decide, help me figure it out. I just don't want to be a failure or let him down. He deserves so much better than what I put him through everyday.

You all have great comments. A lot to think about. Thank you, honestly.;-)
 
I do hope my post didn't come across as rude or bashing in anyway. When they're that long it's hard to keep the right tone. Drama posts are ok! If nothing else, getting it out in the open helps you see what's really on your mind. I'd be lost if I couldn't e-mail my friends pages-long e-mails complaining about everything I was feeling.

I just wanted to give you some words that maybe helped, and maybe didn't. Good luck, though! You're lucky to be married to somebody you hold so dear. I'm sure he'd never think you failed him.

Sara
 
You could sell your house and make $100,0000 and you're down! Wow, let me have your life.

With all due respect, you don't sound depressed. You sound fed up, pissed off maybe, but not depressed.
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

I don't know how old you are but want you to know I struggled with the " what am I going to do with my life" for years. I read many books trying to narrow this down and finally at age 46 I think I have found it. I am going to school for something that interests ME not the rest of the world. It's hard when you have no real close friends to share the struggle with, I've been there. So, I suggest the following books "Fearless Living" by Rhonda Britten ( I love this book) and "Now What?" by Laura Berman Fortgang.I have so much I'd like to share with you - but this is not the place, it would be too long of a post. If you are interested I could PM you. Good luck & hugs to you.
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

Jancie,

Okay, remember to breathe! :D Seriously though,you are not alone! I am not all that different from you at this point, I moved to live with my DH when we got married, have no friends around here, spend most of my time alone working out and trying to breathe life back into what was one a decent writing career. I also spend alot of time wondering how the hell I managed to screw things up so badly. The anxiety is awful, I know!! I don't have much advice beyond it's your life, do what makes you happy and sometimes you have to just put your head down and get through it, but if you want a shoulder to commiserate on, please PM me!!

Remember, this too shall pass! :D

Sparrow

www.scifichics.com
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

Rant away! Finding the right AD can be tricky but don't give up. They do help and talk to your doctor about AD's and sexual side effects. Talk therapy in conjunction with drug therapy (or in place of!) has proven to be one of the most effective methods for getting through tough times and as often, talk therapy is more important. You may not need an AD but being disappointed by the first one doesn't mean there's not a better one out there. Being that your emotional state is what it is, it often seems too damn difficult to have to switch if the one your doc prescribes turns out to be ineffective or the side effects are dreadful Just don't give up trying to feel better if your life's not all it should be. There's a solution. Maybe a drug will help, maybe not, but there's a life of balance and acceptance and even contentment and joy for you, if you find the path that leads there. Keep looking, Janice. You deserve to feel in control and happy and you can and will if you just keep trying. You are a woman with great spirit and fire and you deserve to feel great about yourself and life. There's a way to do that. I pray you find it!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

Do you think you might be able to take a semester off? (I'm not familiar with the sequencing of nursing classes, so I don't know if this would be possible.) Sometimes, getting out of a situation that is driving you nuts is all that you can do! I took some time off of my program to try out another one for about 2 years; I decided that though my professors are insane/evil, the job market SUCKS, the stress is awful, I kinda like what I do, and I went back into my original program:)

You mentioned that you're seeing a counselor who is not being very helpful. Is there a female professor that you could talk to? There was one in my program that helped me pull through some rough times-- she was much more helpful than the psychiatrist I was seeing. She had a tough time with school, and had helped out other students in similar situations-- she knew what to say!

HUGS

L
 
Janice,
I'm pretty messed up myself so I shouldn't give any advice, but I just wanted you to know that you are not the only one. I have alot of anxiety problems and have no idea on earth at 39 years old what I should do with my life. I've had the same yucky job for 21 years now and I've done it only to please my parents. Now I keep it only for the health insurance because I have a 9 year old and would freak if I couldn't get him healthcare when needed. I was always very confused about if I wanted a child or not too. My son is the best thing by far that has ever happened to me. I certainly would not have a child though to make anyone else happy. (I might take a job to please my parents but no way would I have a child to please them - I decided at 30 finally that I wanted a child). If I do nothing else with my life; being his mommy is enough for me. I would keep with the nursing school a few more months and then if it doesn't feel right in a few months, then I'd quit. I don't think you should force it on yourself. But you also don't want to quit and realize later that nursing is what you wanted and you let your anxiety make a decision for you. I have let my anxiety make decisions for me (not realizing, of course) and really regretted things later.

Lexapro didn't help me either. Messed up my sex life and couldn't sleep well. I've heard that Paxil works much better but then it has harsh withdrawal I hear too so I am scared of Paxil. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.
Lisa
 
You think $100,000 is alot of money? Where do you live? That will buy you a mobile home (to die in when a tornado comes) or a VERY old house with lots of repairs to pay for. Who are you to decide whether someone is pissed off or depressed? You got a degree in psychology?
 
Janice, if I were you, I would get a recommendation for a psychiatrist who has a fabulous reputation. Don't worry about cost. Once you're established on the right meds, you'll only have to see the psychiatrist 3 or 4 times per year, and it will be worth the cost. Ask him/her about Adavan. I've heard it works well for anxiety.

IMHO, you are not in the right state of mind at the moment to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. Just get yourself well for now. You can decide what to do with the rest of your life once you're feeling better.

P.S. Loss of libido and other sexual side effects may be annoying in the long run, and may over time affect your marriage, but I've never heard them described as "horrible". And sexual side effects are no reason to avoid meds that may be helpful to you if you need them. I would put off until another day worrying about the sexual side effects.

-Nancy
 
Nancy, if you are talking about Ativan, it's highly addicitive and cannot be taken on a regular basis...only as needed. I know as I was taking it several years ago and was cautioned by my physician to be careful. I also don't think the answer is to get a med and not see a professional while you're taking it.

Janice, to me you sound extremely frustrated. And...I sympathize with your aggravation surrounding sexual side effects. Perimenopause symptoms caused me a problem with this until I started using testosterone. I also described my lowering libido as horrible, LOL! Evidentely, your sex life with your husband is extremely important to you.

I wish I could help!
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

I also stopped taking Lexapro, because it made me gain about 10 pounds and made me very tired. It basically knocked me out at night and I'd still be exhausted the next day. Even with working out like crazy and eating healthy, I still gained that 10 pounds. Sooooo unfair! x(

Those were the only side effects. It did work for me, but gaining any more weight was not an option.

I went through talk therapy as well.

Janice, everything will get better you will see. :)

It did for me!!! Hang in there and follow your heart.

(((HUGS)))
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

Janice,
Oh my... your post reaches out to me and says "I am so stressed" all over it. Maybe, I recognize it from my own student days where I feel I could have written the same exact type of note (I'm not sure). Give yourself some time to breath. Be easy and kind to yourself. Whatever you do...don't run from your issues. School is tough, but you'll never regret the education... and education is never wasted. You initially picked that profession for a reason (you must have wanted it) and if you drop out you now you will forever second guess yourself for not finishing. If you finish, you can always change profession after graduation. My gut feeling is you are just too overwhelmed right now to think clearly. Nursing is a wonderful steady respected profession....you can do it until you are 65 years old and always have a job (something to consider if you want a family with children) and there are so many branches and options. Don't worry about what "may possibly happen in class later"...just worry about today. We all heard horror stories about teachers that just weren't true. We've all had tough moments as students....just take each day as it comes. I do want to add, that I am so glad there was someone wise enough to tell me not to give up when times got really tough and my friends were having fun. I don't stuggle for money now, but my old friends do.... as I said, I've never regretted my education for one split second. If you need to talk, please feel free to drop me a line.

Robin
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

I have always been a "worrier" and had a tendency to be anxious about things. I struggled through nursing school mentally (always did very well academically) probably because I went into it for the wrong reasons. I would think long and hard if nursing is really what you want to do because it really doesn't get any better once you are out in the "real world". If you enjoy it you enjoy it, if you don't, you don't. Sorry to be so blunt. Although, there are lots of different avenues you go into once you get your nursing license. I always thought exercise rehab would be interesting. :)

As far as the baby idea goes, I don't mean to be a downer about that either, but I had a BAD case of postpartum anxiety after my dd was born. I tried to ignore it for months, but after having major panic attacks, and became afraid to leave the house, I started on Zoloft and seeing a therapist. It was very hard as I didn't want to give up breastfeeding and felt like a failure. I felt back to normal after 6 months. A week after my ds was born (and I felt great the whole pregnancy-no anxiety), the panic hit again. I didn't let it go this time and started on the Zoloft, I got it under control and stopped taking the meds. last month. (my son is 7 months old now)

Unfortunately, I think people who are normally anxious have a strong tendency to have this happen after having a child. Having a baby is stressful no matter what! ;-) I hope I'm not scaring you, I just wanted to tell you of my experience.

BTW, not all therapists are created equal, maybe you could talk to someone else? :) :)

Good luck! :)
 
RE: Antidepressants: These drugs are a JOKE!! (ok, rant...

It is all that running, Dani! Good for you! You are my idol!:)
 
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