A note to your pets

MAYNARDSMOM

Cathlete
I received this as an e-mail & it made me chuckle. It has Maynard written all over it!! Enjoy :D


To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door -pet nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college.
AND......

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!






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That is awesome and so true! Thanks for sharing Tami. I especially like the king size bed part, since that is exactly what happens at our house! For some reason the dog and cats insists on stretching out horizontally on the bed and I'm squished on the edge! What's up with that? Gotta love animals, they always manage to brighten up my day :D
 
OMG .. that is hillarious .. and sooooooo true!!!:p My friend has a bumper sticker that reads : " I love my pets more than I like humans" .. LOL .. I can sooooo relate!!

thanks for the funny .. I had to copy it and send it on to my friends!! TOO FUNNY .. and SOOOOOOOO true!!!:p
 
Yes, but kids don't eat your shoes or furniture! LOL

That was really funny and I can totally relate to it. My dogs like to romp and play on the stairs and at 55 and 85 pounds, they take up the whole staircase!
 
Yes, but kids don't eat your shoes or furniture! LOL


HA! Mine did! LOL
My son chewed on his bed post. Don't ask me why:confused::confused: He has always been my creative child.;) Maybe he was trying to engrave it?
He also created an "under the sea" mural with a thick green marker. We rented at the time!:eek::eek::eek:
 
That was great! I love the part where the pet tries to get the bathroom door open. My lab tries to get the door open and whines the whole time, worse than the kids. He thinks because he learned how to open the back door by himself that he can open all the doors:) And the stairs are great. He has to race everyone down but has learned to slow down now that he fell a few steps a few weeks ago! Thanks for sharing that!
 
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

This reads Merrick (my Frenchie) to a T!!! I could never figure out how a 25 inch dog can take so much space on my double bed!!!!!
 

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