A difference of 10 lbs....happy in your skin?

banslug

banslug

Cathlete
(forgive my ramblings, and feel free to ignore me if you'd like. LOL I'm trying to figure this out by posting it to you guys!)

I've been thinking a lot about what my fitness goals are, and what is next for me. I did a round of Body For Life with great success, and got my weight down to a point that was one of the lowest in my adult life. I was headed to the definition in my muscles that I was striving for. The 'problem' was that I didn't feel right....it was HARD to keep my weight down there without feeling like I was sacrificing something else. (ok, I understand the dedication and hard work thing, as well as the sacrifice you make to have the things you want, but I began to feel deprived in social situations, etc.) Don't get me wrong...I LOVED the hard work and the results, but to KEEP my weight at that point.....am I talking in circles yet? :)

Then I changed things up a bit to see what would happen and how my body would respond. I loosened up a bit on my eating (at some points I loosened up TOO much, lol). I changed my weight routines a lot these last 3-4 months. Now, I'm about 10 pounds up from where I was in December, and my strength has increased. The extra 10 pounds covered up the muscles a bit more than I wanted, but I'm okay with that.

I'm between sizes now and am trying to figure out what to do. I would need to shed these measly 10 lbs to get into the smaller size, yet I worry about getting that deprived feeling again. I can stay where I am, yet I don't "FEEL" my best here. Does our body have a natural 'set' weight that it would naturally level off at, if we gave it the chance?

So what's the whole point of my post, you ask? Good question! I'm happy with my life and with myself as a person, REGARDLESS of my shorts/pants size and the scale, so I don't want to give you the impression that I'm worried mostly about the scale or shorts size.

I guess I'm wondering what's next.

(thanks for listening. I think with the RT this week, I'm wondering what I'm going to focus on once I get back home.)

Gayle
 
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I am right there with you, sort of :p I lost about 35 pounds 2 years ago after my last baby and I was pretty happy with my weight, but over the past 6 months I too have loosened up my eating (and my belt, j/k) and I have gained 10 pounds. I just feel fluffier, just not as fit. Though, I am with you in that I don't want to think so seriously about my food for the rest of my life. I enjoy eating, a lot, if truth be told :) but I am working on the balance thing too. So maybe losing 5 of the 10 will be the right balance, I don't know. Now I feel like I am talking incoherently:) If you have any great epiphanies let us know! But in the mean time know that you aren't alone :D

I know, not a lot of help, sorry!
 
I know what you mean...I am up a few pounds from my lowest weight, but I have better upper body definition, and I am happier with my workouts again, instead of feeling like I "have to" do something on a given day.

I think you just have to find a happy medium (and it may take a little while to find it) between enjoying your workouts and your diet, and getting the results you want.

I like to think that if I really worked at the eating part, I could have amazing abs like Cathe and crew, but it would take some serious concentration (and deprivation) on my part. I would have to pay attention to pretty much every calorie I put in my mouth and I'm not willing to live like that. I'd be miserable. It's not worth it for me. (That's assuming it would even work; I don't know for sure.)

Sorry this post wasn't much help; just wanted to let you know that I hear ya!

See you in a couple of days...I'm sure you look fabulous!
 
You know what? You BOTH helped. I started thinking that I was thinking TOO hard about it all. And like you said, I LOVE food. Food in general. I like to experiment new combinations and new tastes. And yes, although I do know that at times I DO OVERDO it, it all balances out in the end.

Who knows. It's a balance thing and I'm STILL trying to find that happy medium FOR ME!

Thanks for sharing, ladies.

Gayle
 
Been there Gayle and am now on the same side as you. I was very heavy at one point in time I dieted and exercise my way down the right way and got a body that I was so proud of. The problem is that all the dedication/rotations/calories to carb ratio had me missing out on life. I had nice muscles toned abs and still in the mirror I wasn't happy. All the fixation on diet and rotaions had me missing out on my kids and my life and good times with dh when he just wanted to go get some ice cream. I loosened up more than I should have as we can all do and am up 20lbs. I know my happy medium is about 10 lbs down not the 20 to 25 lbs that it once was. At 10lbs down I can go get the ice cream and not have to work so hard. I jsut maintain. Before I had to do extra cardio and this and that to be below my maintance weight. At one point I was a size 22. At a size 8 I looked great but working on my body religiously got me to a 4 but not a happy 4. I'm in between a 8-10 now but with the 10lbs I should be a what my body weight is good at and for me that is an 8. I hope this helps. I'm working on losing that 10 lbs slowly. I know for me I'm not happy at the weight I'm at right now. I want to lose my 10lbs too and will but in a much less anal fashion that I once approached diet as. My focus is on eathing healthy, pursing my running goals and my family. For me it is a balance and before the scalse tipped in the lower direction but at the expense of too many things. Hope this helps. We all go though it. You just need to find the happy medium. I'm a work in progress.
 
Gayle, I could have written your post!! A few months ago, I was at my lowest weight of my adult life -- for my wedding. I was MISERABLE with my eating -- no butter, no salt, no light mayo. I didn't eat any sugar for a MONTH before my wedding. I got down to that *magic number* but all I could think about was food, and resting my muscles.

I am up about 6 or 7 pounds since my wedding (in 2 months, yikes!). I am also "in between" sizes. In fact, today I bought something and both the size 6 and size 8 fit, but I bought the 8... And then after the fact I had to wonder WHY I did that, was I giving myself permission to be heavier by doing that?

I wish I was 2 or 3 pounds lighter, and when I've got that really good balance between hard workouts, clean eating, and the occassional treat, I am that weight. But sometimes I want to eat dessert two nights in a row. Or I want french fries.

I don't really know the answer either, Gayle. All I do know is that I cannot wait to give you a big hug on Friday!!! ;)
 
I am wondering the same, too.

I am happy the way I am. I am physically fit with a great sense of wellness. I want to go down ten pounds just so I can have a BMI of 21 (which is supposed to be the most healthy weight). I eat a lot - no junk, but if I keep track of it, I eat between 2500 and 3000 kcal a day. My total cholesterol is 145 with a perfect LDL/HDL ratio; I am never sick and have no problems wearing a bikini now.

In order to lose those ten pounds, I would have to go down to 1800 or 2000 kcal a day and I am starving at that level (I am tall). I do not think about food unless I am trying to lose weight - then I am obsessing with it.

I do not know if I want to commit to calorie restriction because I do not want my kids to watch mom diet. I might just add jumping rope a couple of times a day and see if that creates a calorie deficiency.

I was looking at some pictures from ten years ago when I had a BMI of 21 - it is kinda funny, because I wanted to lose ten pounds even then.
 
It seems you're in good company...and I'm right there with you all. I recently lost 50 lbs, but have gained some back recently. I too have been playing with my "routine" to see how much I can loosen things up and still maintain.

I enjoy food tremendously, and typically eat quite healthfully. Some "goodies" are thrown in there fairly regularly, but not a crazy amount. Quantity has always been an issue for me though. I could eat my nourishing food nearly all day long (and would if I wouldn't blow up). I enjoy experimenting with recipes, etc, and have no intention of depriving myself for the rest of my life - especially since no matter how lean I got, I would never look like a fitness model. Therefore, a balance must be found between enjoying my food and the proper amount of exercise.

I don't have any advice to offer either, but can certainly understand. I think it's great that we can all be kind to each other and ourselves while we work out our kinks! So keep on living your best life and it'll sort itself out! :)
 
I too am searching for this balance! I haven't found it yet, but I think it's out there. I find that if I focus on being healthy and not a certain number or size I do better. Otherwise, I obsess and it too much mental time and energy. I just want to be free from thinking/worrying about calories, workouts, food choices. And sometimes, I just want to eat junk! There, I said it! Admitting you have a problem is the first step you know
 
AH! More company in this where-am-I world! LOL

Thanks, everybody, for your feedback. I want to be at a point where all the obsession over the numbers of calories eaten, calories burnt, scale up or scale down isn't in the front of everything else that I'm thinking about!

Middle ground.......I'm lookin' for ya!

And Katie.....I can't wait to meet you also!

THANKS again, everybody!

Gayle
 
Gayle,
WOW I've typed up that same question a few times and deleted it thinking I didn't make any sense. But I so know what your feeling. I've lost maybe 10 lbs and I feel I look "good" just not super fit like I want to be. I have a whole wardrobe of size 7 clothes that I want to fit into (only cause when I was fit and healthy that was MY size). Now I'm fitting into 9s and sometimes they are still tight. ugh. But I was in size 11s before and they were getting snug too. I feel I also want a balance. I like food! I like to cook. Not unhealthy just not really restrictive(counting every calorie). So I'm trying to balance my eating to allowing a certain amount and at times being more strict. But I'm wondering if I'll ever be back to that shape I was in before if I allow this much. I know I was pretty strict before.. I would occasionally splurge but not much. Some people would also comment I was underweight looking. They were usually people that were totally unfit and overweight though so it went in one ear and out the other. I'm sorta starting to wonder what my REAL weight is for me. I'm still finding out. I"m still not as in shape as I want to be. It is taking a while! but I've definetly seen progress and I know I've lost weight and gained lots of muscle. when you fall out of it its amazing how unfit you become. I didn't realize how much muscle I had lost and really how much weight I gained till I started working out regular again. I'm starting to see my old shape/fitness come through.
Anyway, see I make no sense!! But I'm trying to find my happy medium and also fit self. For now I'm just still plugging away. I guess I want to just try to live a healthy active lifestyle for the most part. If I'm not perfect it's ok just as long as it's a big part of my life and thinking.... hope all that didn't make you more confused? ha.
 
Yet another in the same spot. I don't think I'm too heavy, but at 50 I have gained a layer that doesn't look healthy. That is what I'd like to take off.

Slowly as I have played with my eating, which is 90 - 95% clean, and changed up my workouts every few months, I have seen myself lean up and gain some muscle. My pants are a bit looser but I'm still not in my "skinny" jeans from 2 years ago. May never get there.

My goal at this time in my life is to have fun (done raising the kids:D), have a DH that absolutely loves to eat and doesn't gain a pound, so we go out to eat and like to experiment with cooking and grilling like some of the rest of you.

I work at healthy and tasty and then give here and there for a splurge. One of my other vices is the tasty cerveza. Seems like if I do away with my beer or glass of wine then the ripples deflate.:eek:

But I enjoy some here and there and am trying to slowly wean the "fluff" as some of you have called it. I feel good and believe I am very healthy - exercise is a high for me in addition to keeping me a fit Grandma.;)

So the dilemma is still there but I honestly believe that the consistency in my eating and exercise, (without being too stringent on counting calories or worrying about missing a couple of workouts in a row sometimes) along with a few treats seems to be keeping me happy, healthy and ready TO BE ME.

Take me as I am or poo poo to you. How's that for a motto?

Good post Gayle - seems like many of us are on the same track as usual, huh?
 
It seems that a lot of people on these forums struggle with the same issues. Fitness is one of those things that always seems to have constantly changing goals... goals that are always just out of reach - know what I mean?

I think it's great that so many people aspire to better fitness and health. But you're right - lots of times, what we end up doing is to make ourselves unhappy, uncomfortable, or stressed out.

I've had this argument with myself several times. I always think I should try for that ultimate goal, but I never make it because I just don't truly think the sacrifices are worth the results, to me. So then I always back off.

I know I'm very fit and healthy. I have strong muscles, and just a little extra padding. ;) I'm happy with myself, and I feel good. And it's because I've finally decided that looking like a fitness model is really not the right path for me.

Oh, and as for your question, Gayle, about whether your body will find it's own "setpoint" for weight... yes, I believe it will. At least mine does! With the routine I keep and the diet I follow, my weight stays pretty darned close to the same all the time, with maybe a pound or two of change here and there, but it always goes right back to where it was. I'm not strict on my eating, just careful. And I enjoy treats fairly often!
 
Gayle this is a great topic!! I was where you are a few years ago. I was really slender, really tight with my calories etc. but it was just too much work, mostly mentally! I too loosened up my eating and really I think I look much better now - I certainly feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. I really believe our bodies do have a set point beyond which it is just too much of a struggle to go, and not particularly healthy either.

Sparrow
 
Oh me too, me too! I gained 15 pounds this year, really fast too, it happened in about 8 weeks. I was most definitely not happy w/the extra 15. I felt bloated & jiggly, & I was up a full size.

I also gained strength. I mean SERIOUS strength. I've increased my weights at least twice in the last few months. To the extent that I think I may have overdone it. For the first time in my life I have an a$$, & I think I actually look a bit bulky, which I didn't even think was possible with my body type.

I've lost about half of the extra weight--8 lbs in the last month, but that was done by seriously depriving myself. Mostly broiled meats, steamed veggies & no snacks. So I'm cranky & miserable about the lack of food satisfaction, but I'm very happy about the weight loss.

And I'm also between sizes, so the larger size is falling off me & the smaller size is uncomfortably tight. Not so sure what can be done about that.

Anyway, I think I'll keep going w/the weight loss until I get back to my original weight. I'm sorry to say that I'm vain & shallow enough to really not be happy unless I'm at what I consider my optimum weight. :eek:
 
Nope, I would not be happy with 10 extra #

I would find a way to keep it off - it took my years to find my ideal plan, but I did, & I ain't about to gain weight! Age or no age, menopause or no menopause. I have no clothes that don't fit and will not buy any bigger. I don't starve myself & I allow myself a full cheat day. But that's just me.
 
Add me to the list of happy-but-slightly-larger folks. I lost 45 lbs about 4 years ago through meticulous eating and tough workouts every day, I got down to 145 (pretty much the lowest I've weighed in my adult life) and scrupulously stayed there for over 2 years by weighing myself daily and going very very strict on days when I'd gain a pound. I pretty much was hungry and irritable most of othe time, I NEVER felt full or satisfied. I kept thinking, My body is just adjusting to this new weight, soon I won't feel so obsessed with food and won"t feel like I'm starving all the time, for a lot of people 145 would be their FAT weight, I must have psychological problems to feel this hungry all the time at this weight. I also tried all the "tricks" for keeping hunger at bay - very high protein, fiber supplements, 6 small meals, 3 larger meals, etc. Nothing really helped, I was low on energy, my hormones were off a bit, I would hit the wall about halfway through a Cathe workout and have to force myself to continue. My muscles ached and I thought about food constantly. If I went to a birthday party I would have to plot very carefully how to cut back elsewhere for the slice of cake.

Fade out, fade in, one day I just got SICK of it and allowed myself a 5-pound gain, which happened within a week and believe me I was NOT pigging out. I then gained another 5 pounds over the next couple of months. Now I'm a size 12 and weigh about 160, which is about my set-point, it's what I weighed in high school when I played field hockey and ate pretty healthfully, and about the same size as 2 female cousins and the daughter of one of them (although both of our mothers were relatively thin, go figure). I feel SOOOO much better, I literally do not obsess about food at all, my moods are better, I sleep better, I can make it through a tough workout with energy to spare, my cholesterol is perfect, etc. Also I can pretty much eat whatever I want without thinking about it, it seems my body balances out somehow even when I go on vacation and eat a lot. So for me, I'm happy where I am. So I"m buying a size 12 instead of a size 10 at the mall, it's not like I have to pay extra for it! I'm technically just underneath the "overweight" category as far as BMI. I have muscles but you cannot see them, but even when I was at my thinnest I looked smaller but not muscular even after doing P-90 x. I guess if I had lost maybe another 20 lbs from my lowest point my muscles would have been see-able, but UGH, no way hin hell .

Anyhow, I'm in the category of I'd-rather-be-bigger-and-not-obsessed. I started a new job last Monday at a law firm, and the associate who will be working with me is food-obsessed, I found out she lost about 20 lbs. 2 years ago and she talks and worries about food constantly. She was fretting about where the senior attorney might be taking us to lunch because she "liked to be able to plan her portions and calories in advance". I just thought, I'm glad I'm not like that anymore, I'm glad I can just go to lunch and order what looks good.

Not casting aspersions on those who are very strict with their food, I know they work hard at it and it helps them achieve their goals. But it's not for me any longer.
 
My whole adult life I have stayed at the same weight, give or take 5 pounds. I wanted to push the envelope and went on a rigorous exercise program with a well-known fitness trainer. I went from 18 percent bodyfat to 13 percent and only lost 6 or 7 pounds in the process, but I was MISERABLE. I was starving, doing tons and tons of cardio, carb depleted and MISERABLE.
Sure, I had eliminated the cellulite, and I had very nice definition, but at what cost? I was eating veggies and protein, one carb, no sweets, no wine, no nothin'. All for a 7 pound weight loss? NOT worth it to me. Much better I eat what I want (within reason, I always have watched my diet) but with wiggle room for those things I love. I refuse to live so strictly, its just not worth it to me....my body has a natural set point that it functions best at, I feel good here and am strong. So, I live with my love handlers as I call them, they are not large ones, but still there, and still enjoy my vino and pita chips....sometimes.;)
 
Oh, and did I mention, I look much better in the face when I am at my happy weight? Gone are the gaunt shadows under my eyes and cheeks. I look much younger at my happy weight, my skin is better, hair is better, everything.

I think Marilyn Monroe once said, "A woman of a certain age must choose between her face and her ass"....well, I am here to say you can have both! With an extra dimple or two mind you, but thats okay!
 
Tiffany(tneah) said:
I think Marilyn Monroe once said, "A woman of a certain age must choose between her face and her ass"....well, I am here to say you can have both! With an extra dimple or two mind you, but thats okay!
Click to expand...

And on exactly which end are the dimples Ms. Tiffany? :eek:

ETA: I just realized, if that quote is from Marilyn, who died at I believe age 36, then at what age must we make that choice? Because I'm pretty far beyond 36..........
 
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