"You look good, have you gained weight?"

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
WTH?????? Someone said this to me last night--what is it supposed to mean? Is it a compliment? An insult? A hybrid of both? :mad:

Coming from someone who knows I'm always fretting about my weight & that I've been trying to drop at least 5 lbs, I wanted to smack her. I swear, that comment kept me up last night. It was mean. :(
 
Maybe she meant "God, I sucked down a pint of Ben and Jerry's last night, and I feel horrible. I know Laura works out and still worries about her weight, even though SHE LOOKS WONDERFUL. I will see if I can make her feel fat, so I feel better for sucking down the ice cream." Then, insert backhanded compliment.

Some people are just weird and have to butt their noses into everything, including other personal, touchy topics. I've been told not to lose anymore weight, bc I'll be too thin. Um, yeah, I'm a size 12 - losing an extra few isn't going to kill me. I think people mean it as a compliment, but they get off track somewhere.

And, most people won't notice a 5lb loss or gain on another person. We are our own harshest critics. Don't worry about. You look fantastic!

Nan
 
I think it was meant as a compliment, too. I know when I get under 125# everyone says I look sick. Then when I gain about 3-5# they say I look good. Go figure.

Don't let it bug you, Laura, you are beautiful and fit. Know that. She's probably jealous of you. And people are just WEIRD!
 
i had a friend who once said something very similar. i felt hurt at first and thought she was jealous. afterwards, i did come to realize that she was right, i had lost a little too much weight. sometimes others see what we don't. perhaps she was being mean but maybe she was genuinely feeling you looked good and stated so in a very inarticulate way.
 
I think it was definitely meant as a compliment, Laura.

Honestly, our perception (here) of what is a good weight for us differs from what the general public thinks is a good weight... at least in my experience. I have had the same thing said to me numerous times in different ways.

In other words, you are at such a great weight to start with, even gaining weight looks good on you!:)
 
Thanks guys, you're the best! You're the only people who understand this stuff! I am most definitely NOT too thin--I might've been a few years ago, but I'm at a ummmm healthy weight. ;)

I always wonder why people who are overweight enjoy it so much when thinner people gain weight. I guess it's jealousy or misery loves company, but it's sad women are so catty to each other.
 
That was said to me once (many moons ago) and was definitely a compliment. I also worked with a woman who went way overboard and got grossly underweight, so it would have been totally appropriate for her when she leveled back off again. For some people, just being a little underweight doesn't look as good - they get a gaunt look in their face. I would take it as a compliment. She said You Look Good, right? (now, if only I could lose my weight.....)
 
Laura, I dunno, but it reminded me of something someone said to me once.... she saw my driver's license picture and she said "That's a great picture! It doesn't look anything like you!" Gee, uh, thanks????

-Beth
 
Laura,

I'm absolutely positive you look great (although the only pic I've seen on you is when you are taking down the Cookie Monster). That being said, some people do look better with a little more meat on their bones- that is a matter of perception and opinion. I'm sure hoping I'm one of the people who look better with a little extra weight! Not everyone looks great being super thin, or even just regular thin. Think Jenn Hendershott- specifically, her face. Is there any doubt amongst most people that she took things too far?
 
morningstar said:
Laura,

I'm absolutely positive you look great (although the only pic I've seen on you is when you are taking down the Cookie Monster). That being said, some people do look better with a little more meat on their bones- that is a matter of perception and opinion. I'm sure hoping I'm one of the people who look better with a little extra weight! Not everyone looks great being super thin, or even just regular thin. Think Jenn Hendershott- specifically, her face. Is there any doubt amongst most people that she took things too far?
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ROTFLMAO! That pic is NOT ME! OMG this so cracks me up--that's Shelley Duvall in The Shining. I have a picture trail in my sig section if you want to see what I really look like. Yeah, it shows me at my best at the 2005 RT, & at my heaviest at last year's RT. Boy can 10 lbs make a difference! :eek:

Well duh, it's been phased out. I guess I forgot to renew it. Ooops! Hopefully will be back up soon. Stay tuned. LOL!
 
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LauraMax said:
ROTFLMAO! That pic is NOT ME! OMG this so cracks me up--that's Shelley Duvall in The Shining. I have a picture trail in my sig section if you want to see what I really look like. Yeah, it shows me at my best at the 2005 RT, & at my heaviest at last year's RT. Boy can 10 lbs make a difference! :eek:
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Coming from your chaueffer at last years' RT...you're smokin!! Now, get on down to Cape May...we've got pizza-eating to do!!
 
JeanneMarie said:
I think it was definitely meant as a compliment, Laura.

Honestly, our perception (here) of what is a good weight for us differs from what the general public thinks is a good weight... at least in my experience. I have had the same thing said to me numerous times in different ways.

In other words, you are at such a great weight to start with, even gaining weight looks good on you!:)
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oh i agree. some ppl think i should weigh less or more depending on what they believe is a good weight while i think i need to lose some but not as much as some think and feel bad if a gain a pound while others tell me i need to eat more.

some ppl put their foot in their mouth without thinking about how it sounds b/c they are only coming from their frame of mind not what you or others think about the subject. its almost a sheltered way of thinking "my way right way you need a sandwich" thing LOL. i get it from all angles a lot and on a lot of different topics not just fitness and eating.

kassia
 
I had a neighbor from Eritrea that would say that to me all the time. I'd always reply "Really? I think you may have gained some weight too." and she'd smile and say "Thank you!" This puzzled me for years until I realized that in Eritrea that really is a complement.
 
LauraMax said:
ROTFLMAO! That pic is NOT ME! OMG this so cracks me up--that's Shelley Duvall in The Shining. I have a picture trail in my sig section if you want to see what I really look like. Yeah, it shows me at my best at the 2005 RT, & at my heaviest at last year's RT. Boy can 10 lbs make a difference! :eek:

Well duh, it's been phased out. I guess I forgot to renew it. Ooops! Hopefully will be back up soon. Stay tuned. LOL!
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Hey Shelley, I mean Laura,:p

I've seen your pictures before and you are stunning. If I looked like you at your heaviest I'd be walking around naked. I'm sure it was a compliment.
 
Oh, and by the way, one year I returned back to school after summer vacation. Someone said, "Hey, you look like you gained about 8 pounds." (Not 10, not 5..8) I'm still waiting for them to tell me I look good.:(
 
LauraMax said:
ROTFLMAO! That pic is NOT ME! OMG this so cracks me up--that's Shelley Duvall in The Shining.
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I thought that was you with the cookie monster too! i thought you had a violin bow in your hand and your were playing for the cookie monster! man, i need to get glasses. :)
 
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aveggiegirl said:
Oh, and by the way, one year I returned back to school after summer vacation. Someone said, "Hey, you look like you gained about 8 pounds." (Not 10, not 5..8) I'm still waiting for them to tell me I look good.:(
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bizarre...people are so strange.
 
It must have been a compliment! (Maybe that person always thought you looked too thin and needed to gain a few pounds.) But you should have smacked the person anyway. It was a stupid compliment! Say, "You look great!" and leave it at that. Geesh.
 
Oh yes..I love getting those insults..I mean compliments! ;) It's happened to me many times and once when I asked what did they mean someone actually told me that I was looking too sickly and muscular. WTH?? :confused:
 
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