i can't sleep tonight. i've been going through some rough times now and basically since new years weekend i haven't been able to go more then about 5 days without binging. so as i sit here i thought to myself, "when did this quest for health and fitness turn out to be unhealthy and destructive. I can pinpoint when it all started. I lost 35lbs over 10 years a go just by eating healthy and exercising daily. I didn't stress out if we (my family) was having pizza for dinner. I just ate some and moved on. Every night i would have some low fat frozen yogurt. Well then i started researching nutrition and i read about 6 mini meals and having a free day; this is where my life changed and my binge struggles began. Before this, i ate when i was hungry and stopped when i was full. I didn't obsess about the time intervals at which i ate or the ratio of carbs to proteins. Now, i can't stop thinking about what, when, and how to eat. I've lost total connection with my natural hunger cues. I feel sooooo frustrated like i'm working against my body. I'm always searching for the next great diet plan thats going to make the difference. I'm so sick of it all. Today i tried a paleo type of diet with no grains and minimal fruit which i started a journal about it on this website. So as i sit here tonight i feel unsatisfied with what i ate today b/c i couldn't eat the things i enjoyed even though they are healthy. I didn't eat them b/c this diet set up diet rules that it states i should follow. Im at the point now where i can't take all the rules anymore. Eat "x" amount of times with "x" amount of cals with "x" amounts of carbs/protein/fat. All these rules are supposed to make things simple and help you control yourself but i'm finding myself out of control. The only one thing i agree with in the diet world is to eat good wholesome clean food. I'm so exhausted by all of this and trying to find an answer. In my quest to be in control with my diet i'm totally out of control with my diet. This is no way to live and i'm missing out of lots b/c my mind is filled with the noise of diet rules. I just want to be healthy. Thats it. Sounds so simple. The most simple thing i want to do is eat when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full but for me this is such a difficult thing. Starting now, i'm giving up all the rules. I'm going to solely focus on eating when i'm hungry. I'm in such a sad place right now and i know its only me who can climb out. I know many of you can relate to this so i wanted to vent on here. Thanks for listening.
when healthy became unhealthy
- Thread starter kariev
- Start date
pepnchar
Cathlete
I see a lot of people have looked at this post, but I don't think anyone has responded yet -- because we know exactly what you mean, we just don't know what to say... I don't mean to speak for others, I'm sorry if I offend.
I suffered from eating disorders most of my teens and 20's. I still don't have the perfect relationship with food, but I look back to how destructive I used to be, and I am grateful for every day. Again, I don't have real words of advice... I just know what has worked for me. I have the rest of my life to get this right -- whether it be to get into cardiovascular shape or lose a couple of pounds or get more leafy greens in my diet. That's the drawback with any kind of diet "plan" -- it's not meant for the rest of your life. Do you want to be counting carbs and fat when you're 80? If the way you are eating is disrupting the time you spend with the family (they eat pizza while you measure food in the other room) then something has to give. Life is meant to be enjoyed. You should be satisfied at the end of the day and not up at night obscessing with your stomach growling. Take care in your journey and many hugs to you.
I suffered from eating disorders most of my teens and 20's. I still don't have the perfect relationship with food, but I look back to how destructive I used to be, and I am grateful for every day. Again, I don't have real words of advice... I just know what has worked for me. I have the rest of my life to get this right -- whether it be to get into cardiovascular shape or lose a couple of pounds or get more leafy greens in my diet. That's the drawback with any kind of diet "plan" -- it's not meant for the rest of your life. Do you want to be counting carbs and fat when you're 80? If the way you are eating is disrupting the time you spend with the family (they eat pizza while you measure food in the other room) then something has to give. Life is meant to be enjoyed. You should be satisfied at the end of the day and not up at night obscessing with your stomach growling. Take care in your journey and many hugs to you.
{{{KARIEV}}}
I know this place you're in right now. The mini meal/macronutrient ratio mantra made eating a stress level hell for me.
Definitely go back to this!!! Eat what you feel like eating, when you feel like eating. Screw the establishment that says you MUST eat breakfast or that you can't only have 2 big meals a day, and for Pete's sake eat all the fruit you want! Eventually you will start to eat intuitively again, and your body will tell you what it wants...and it will be very liberating.
Good luck!!
I know this place you're in right now. The mini meal/macronutrient ratio mantra made eating a stress level hell for me.
Definitely go back to this!!! Eat what you feel like eating, when you feel like eating. Screw the establishment that says you MUST eat breakfast or that you can't only have 2 big meals a day, and for Pete's sake eat all the fruit you want! Eventually you will start to eat intuitively again, and your body will tell you what it wants...and it will be very liberating.
Good luck!!
ldy_solana
Cathlete
like charlene said, we know what you mean just don't know what to say!
i to start falling into the trap of "rules" and some of the "rules" just do not fit my lifestyle. having an autistic child sometimes things don't go as planned and cereal with fruit will be on the dinner menu LOL. i feel bad b/c sometimes i think its ME why can't I get it together. its just to much pressure. i do try to choose healthier foods and healthier portions and snack when i feel i need too. emotional eating is obviously an issue for me b/c of a lot of what i carry in life and i haven't been able to get to the source of that. but working on it and it gets better. i don't think it will ever be an over night thing and will always be a lifetime process.
sorry you are feeling a bit down but know you are not alone in your struggles!
kassia
i to start falling into the trap of "rules" and some of the "rules" just do not fit my lifestyle. having an autistic child sometimes things don't go as planned and cereal with fruit will be on the dinner menu LOL. i feel bad b/c sometimes i think its ME why can't I get it together. its just to much pressure. i do try to choose healthier foods and healthier portions and snack when i feel i need too. emotional eating is obviously an issue for me b/c of a lot of what i carry in life and i haven't been able to get to the source of that. but working on it and it gets better. i don't think it will ever be an over night thing and will always be a lifetime process.
sorry you are feeling a bit down but know you are not alone in your struggles!
kassia
banslug
Cathlete
This healthy vs UNhealthy thought is a scale that just seems to easily tip one way or the other, doesn't it? I know your history, and you and I have chatted about it in the past. What I've found to be MY PERSONAL, BIGGEST, MOST IMPORTANT part of this ongoing struggle is HOW I FEEL ABOUT ME! I work on ME.....not my pants size, not my body weight, not my waist measurement, nor my body fat. ME! My INNER ME. Because when I behave in a way that I am totally, 110% happy with, everything else just falls into place. EVERYTHING!
This sounds so 'mystical', I know. But I honestly cannot explain it any other way. Recently, I got myself to a point in my life, my PERSONAL life, where I was totally content and happy with ME and my lifestyle; TOTALLY accepting of the hand that I've been dealt, and SUDDENLY my entire world has opened up and my attitude with/for food has drastically change. I wish this for EVERYBODY, including you!
HUGS ACROSS THE CYBER MILES!
This sounds so 'mystical', I know. But I honestly cannot explain it any other way. Recently, I got myself to a point in my life, my PERSONAL life, where I was totally content and happy with ME and my lifestyle; TOTALLY accepting of the hand that I've been dealt, and SUDDENLY my entire world has opened up and my attitude with/for food has drastically change. I wish this for EVERYBODY, including you!
HUGS ACROSS THE CYBER MILES!
Beavs
Cathlete
I had an awesome personal trainer who is highly regarded and knows her stuff who told me you can go bananas with all of the information out there. I asked her about eating, timing, etc and she laughed and said "Just eat the right food and be done with it!" SO in other words, Gayle is right
Stebby
Cathlete
I've struggled with this for over 40 years on and off (ever since someone called me "fatty" when I was 7 years old). Sometimes I've been successful - which for me, in a context of "healthy", means naturally wanting healthy foods, eating the right things in the right amounts most of the time, allowing minor indulgences once in awhile (but still maintaining a level of discipline that felt right), working out almost every day, and generally feeling that I'm in the flow & not feeling that it's difficult. In these times, I've lost weight, and about 10 years ago I actually got down to my "goal" & was in fantastic shape. Right now, I'm not being very successful. I am needing to track everything I eat just to maintain. I don't like having to track what and how much I eat - it doesn't feel right or natural, but if I don't do it, I gain. I have allowed myself to fall into some bad habits.
I have read a couple of books in the past couple of weeks that I think may be helpful to me. Maybe they might be helpful to you as well. One is "Younger Next Year for Women" by Chris Crawley and Harry Lodge. It was recommended by one of the Success Story women here on Cathe's site. I think you are much younger than I am (you're in your twenties, right?) so it is not directly targeted at you, but it has some great advice for getting and staying healthy & fit that I think applies to everyone. The other book is "The Beck Diet Solution" by Judith S. Beck - it is not a diet book, but rather a book that tries to teach you to think like a thin person. It uses a "make one change per day" approach - for example, on the first day you need to write up a list of reasons that you want to lose weight, on another day you need to sit down every time you eat, on another day you need to learn to give yourself credit every time you do something right, etc. The biggest thing I learned from this book is that naturally slim people restrict themselves and don't eat "whatever they want". This was something of an aha moment for me, as I'm prone to thinking things like, it's not fair, he/she can eat whatever he/she wants without worrying about it.
A big thing, also, is getting your hormonal balance right. I haven't read Jillian Michaels' book "Master Your Metabolism" (?) but I think I might get that one. I think that a big part of the times I've been successful with health and weight maintenance, it's been because I've been eating the right things for me at the right times, which resulted in cravings going away. (If you don't have an urge to eat the wrong things, or too much of the right things, 3/4 of the battle is won.)
Sorry for rambling on and on. I could really relate to your post. You have gotten some great advice from the other posters. I need to try to take some of it myself!
Stebby
I have read a couple of books in the past couple of weeks that I think may be helpful to me. Maybe they might be helpful to you as well. One is "Younger Next Year for Women" by Chris Crawley and Harry Lodge. It was recommended by one of the Success Story women here on Cathe's site. I think you are much younger than I am (you're in your twenties, right?) so it is not directly targeted at you, but it has some great advice for getting and staying healthy & fit that I think applies to everyone. The other book is "The Beck Diet Solution" by Judith S. Beck - it is not a diet book, but rather a book that tries to teach you to think like a thin person. It uses a "make one change per day" approach - for example, on the first day you need to write up a list of reasons that you want to lose weight, on another day you need to sit down every time you eat, on another day you need to learn to give yourself credit every time you do something right, etc. The biggest thing I learned from this book is that naturally slim people restrict themselves and don't eat "whatever they want". This was something of an aha moment for me, as I'm prone to thinking things like, it's not fair, he/she can eat whatever he/she wants without worrying about it.
A big thing, also, is getting your hormonal balance right. I haven't read Jillian Michaels' book "Master Your Metabolism" (?) but I think I might get that one. I think that a big part of the times I've been successful with health and weight maintenance, it's been because I've been eating the right things for me at the right times, which resulted in cravings going away. (If you don't have an urge to eat the wrong things, or too much of the right things, 3/4 of the battle is won.)
Sorry for rambling on and on. I could really relate to your post. You have gotten some great advice from the other posters. I need to try to take some of it myself!
Stebby
pjlippert
Cathlete
Hi Kari,
I totally understand what are you going through. I look at the insane plethora of diet books I have purchased over the years. Tried and failed. I feel like chucking all of them and following what my body needs/wants. I was having the conversation with my gal pals and we all wondered the exact same thing you did.... why does eating - such a basic life-affirming action have to be soo complicated? My sister lives in Spain and I asked her if they are as obsessed with all these diet "rules". No they are not. She lives 10 min away from the Medeterraean sea. since they moved there she NATURALLY lost weight because they don't consume all of the processed crap that we do. They eat fresh, "clean" i.e. normal/natural food that is either from the ground or the sea. I think I'll take a cue from the Spainards.
Hang in there, girl!! Wanna buy some diet books? Just kidding!!!
I totally understand what are you going through. I look at the insane plethora of diet books I have purchased over the years. Tried and failed. I feel like chucking all of them and following what my body needs/wants. I was having the conversation with my gal pals and we all wondered the exact same thing you did.... why does eating - such a basic life-affirming action have to be soo complicated? My sister lives in Spain and I asked her if they are as obsessed with all these diet "rules". No they are not. She lives 10 min away from the Medeterraean sea. since they moved there she NATURALLY lost weight because they don't consume all of the processed crap that we do. They eat fresh, "clean" i.e. normal/natural food that is either from the ground or the sea. I think I'll take a cue from the Spainards.
Hang in there, girl!! Wanna buy some diet books? Just kidding!!!
thank you all so very much for all of the kind words and support. you all made me cry. i often feel so alone in this battle. its like i care but i don't care at the same time. i've been reading the book intuitive eating which is excellent but i find its sooooo hard to let go of the diet rules. i know i need to focus on the inner me and not whats on the outside which is where i think i'm going wrong. i don't like the inner me. i think i could be such a better person not to mention i don't think i ever say anything nice to myself. thats what i have to work on.
hriacobacci
Cathlete
I think that there are probably more of us out there who are struggling with this. It's such a fine line that we teeter on. Exercise, but not too much, eat less, but not too much less. Eat this, but not that...oh wait, new report now you can eat that. Ugh. Darned if you do and darned if you don't!
jennifermaria
Cathlete
Others have stated this far more eloquently than I, but I just wanted to say I can totally relate and it just gets so frustrating at times. I do feel as though I'm "failing" in some way, regardless of whether I'm strictly regimented or when I'm trying to eat more intuitively. While I have good discipline with exercise, I've never really had good discipline with food, and when I don't have rules to follow, guess what? I totally indulge (and gain, gain, gain)! But when I do have rules, I chafe and rebel (and gain, gain, gain *sigh*). Honestly, sometimes I wonder how I ever lost the 30 pounds I lost 5 years ago. Was that a whole 'nother person altogether who accomplished that?
What to do? Not sure, but I do know that I have to find a way to have a healthy relationship with food and not beat myself up every time I eat something that's processed/not as nutritious/not as "good," but neither should I fall into the trap of thinking I can eat that stuff all the time and think I can be as healthy and fit as I want to be. I'm seeking my inner Goldilocks and haven't come upon her yet in my 34 years on this earth--someday, hopefully.
Btw, something you said just totally resonated with me, and that's when you talked about all the noise in your head about all the diet rules. I find my mind is constantly whirring with all this stuff as well! Just when I think I've figured it all out and have made peace with it all and am going to follow more common sense rules (i.e. don't eat too much, eat mostly plants, keep moving, etc.), I find myself unable to get the results I want because I just feel way too disconnected with my body's natural cues. My inner wiring needs fixing. Lots of fixing.
This post was particularly timely for me, as I just weighed myself this morning and was disappointed to see that I have once again experienced some weight creep and am now at the highest weight I've been since I lost those 30 pounds (I've now gained 10 of those pounds back in the last year and a half). While I don't look THAT much different than I did when I lost all that weight, I have noticed that certain areas of my body are a bit "fleshier"--most notably, my face and my waist, which of course means that I'm gaining body fat in the places where it's most noticeable and/or could even be unhealthy (hello, Ms. Apple Shape). I know I need to do something, but what that something is, I'm at a loss.
So thank you for this post. I know you're frustrated and I can't offer much help, but I did want to let you know that you helped ME by sharing your story and letting me know I'm not alone. We'll figure it out together!
What to do? Not sure, but I do know that I have to find a way to have a healthy relationship with food and not beat myself up every time I eat something that's processed/not as nutritious/not as "good," but neither should I fall into the trap of thinking I can eat that stuff all the time and think I can be as healthy and fit as I want to be. I'm seeking my inner Goldilocks and haven't come upon her yet in my 34 years on this earth--someday, hopefully
.Btw, something you said just totally resonated with me, and that's when you talked about all the noise in your head about all the diet rules. I find my mind is constantly whirring with all this stuff as well! Just when I think I've figured it all out and have made peace with it all and am going to follow more common sense rules (i.e. don't eat too much, eat mostly plants, keep moving, etc.), I find myself unable to get the results I want because I just feel way too disconnected with my body's natural cues. My inner wiring needs fixing. Lots of fixing.
This post was particularly timely for me, as I just weighed myself this morning and was disappointed to see that I have once again experienced some weight creep and am now at the highest weight I've been since I lost those 30 pounds (I've now gained 10 of those pounds back in the last year and a half
). While I don't look THAT much different than I did when I lost all that weight, I have noticed that certain areas of my body are a bit "fleshier"--most notably, my face and my waist, which of course means that I'm gaining body fat in the places where it's most noticeable and/or could even be unhealthy (hello, Ms. Apple Shape). I know I need to do something, but what that something is, I'm at a loss.So thank you for this post. I know you're frustrated and I can't offer much help, but I did want to let you know that you helped ME by sharing your story and letting me know I'm not alone. We'll figure it out together!
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RapidBreath
Cathlete
I have only one solution for you. The Inside Out Weight Loss podcast from Renee Stephens. Its free on iTunes. She addresses this very issue. I'm very familiar with the paleo style of eating. The only problem I see with it is that we aren't living a paleo lifestyle. Not by any stretch of the imagination. We have artificial lighting. We have "regular" jobs. The idea that somehow we stopped evolving about 30,000 years ago seems odd to me. I know that according to my anthropology teachers things about myself are not documented (late growth, different teeth, etc.) as being "normal' or average.
If you adjust your diet just to fit a pre-fab diet like the paleo one, you have to ask yourself, is it reasonable for you? If it just doesn't fit and makes you crazy how is that going to be good for you? I would suggest that if you really want to eat in this way, that you finish up what you had in the cupboard in a reasonable fashion (one serving a day?) and slowly phase in this other style of eating. In a way thats kind of what I'm doing myself. I kind of over did it buying different gluten free foods and now I have enough gluten free items to keep me in 1 cookie, three times a week through June
But, now I'm leaning towards the paleo style of eating too. Which, coincidentally enough, is gluten free by proxy. I'm already on the low carb side of things and just accommodate a cookie or bowl of millet in my carb count (post workout of course.) I do have the coconut milk which probably wouldn't be a paleolithic food source, but whatever
If you adjust your diet just to fit a pre-fab diet like the paleo one, you have to ask yourself, is it reasonable for you? If it just doesn't fit and makes you crazy how is that going to be good for you? I would suggest that if you really want to eat in this way, that you finish up what you had in the cupboard in a reasonable fashion (one serving a day?) and slowly phase in this other style of eating. In a way thats kind of what I'm doing myself. I kind of over did it buying different gluten free foods and now I have enough gluten free items to keep me in 1 cookie, three times a week through June
But, now I'm leaning towards the paleo style of eating too. Which, coincidentally enough, is gluten free by proxy.
I'm already on the low carb side of things and just accommodate a cookie or bowl of millet in my carb count (post workout of course.) I do have the coconut milk which probably wouldn't be a paleolithic food source, but whatever 
Worknprogress
Cathlete
Kariev - I think you said the words that so many of us could have. I am weary from the ups and downs of weight loss as well. I have a 10-12 pound window that I go back and forth between and I am so tired of it.
My back went out last Monday while doing PUB. It was during the first exercise of the shoulders when I stood up from my bench after doing the bent over raises. That's all I did was stand up and pop.
The week before I was loving Shock Cardio and bam, I was taken out of commission again and spent the next week with limited activity except for eating myself out of house and home.
I can gain weight easily so it is not pretty where I am right now but I can also lose weight easily if I follow a strict regiment. But last year I got tired of this pattern I have created for myself. I don't want to have to be so strict in everything I eat and hours and hours of exercise. I am 47 years old and I am tired of it.
But I cannot seem to get myself out of this pattern. I can't seem to get to my middle ground. I think Gayle made some pretty insightful statements that we could all gain from.
Gayle - I know you said it was pretty mystical how you got where you are right now but any tips? I know that I am not the happiest in my personal life yet I am not really sure what the answer is that I need. How did you figure out what changes to make that profoundly affected your life?
My back went out last Monday while doing PUB. It was during the first exercise of the shoulders when I stood up from my bench after doing the bent over raises. That's all I did was stand up and pop.
The week before I was loving Shock Cardio and bam, I was taken out of commission again and spent the next week with limited activity except for eating myself out of house and home.
I can gain weight easily so it is not pretty where I am right now but I can also lose weight easily if I follow a strict regiment. But last year I got tired of this pattern I have created for myself. I don't want to have to be so strict in everything I eat and hours and hours of exercise. I am 47 years old and I am tired of it.
But I cannot seem to get myself out of this pattern. I can't seem to get to my middle ground. I think Gayle made some pretty insightful statements that we could all gain from.
Gayle - I know you said it was pretty mystical how you got where you are right now but any tips? I know that I am not the happiest in my personal life yet I am not really sure what the answer is that I need. How did you figure out what changes to make that profoundly affected your life?
janie1234
Cathlete
Girl, . .I wouldn't doubt is 95% of the people that come here have been in the same boat as you (boy that must be a really big boat!) I have been there before, . . .and although I probably don't really want to admit it am probably just a smidge still there.
What I did was throw out the scale, stop subscribing to Oxygen and all the other fitness magazines that I had subscribed to and switched my mindset from having to work out to wanting to workout. I eat natural foods, cook a lot more using natural ingredients so I know what is in it. If I want a burger and fries, . . I make it myself, . . with a healthy portion. Naturally ground beef and home made bakes fries. Then I don't hate myself for doing it. I'm taking classes that I've always wanted to take (kenpo karate, ballet, ballroom, fencing) and I'm running shorter distances, and hiking so I can smell the flowers.
My fitness routine consists of things that will make me happy not obsessive. Because lets face it that is what a lot of us are. Obsessed with fitness and how we look. I think what happens is that we've all lost weight and started lifting weights, . . we liked how we feel and how people would say "Wow you look great!" and then we become obsessed with how we can have more, . . and more, . . and more, . .we scour the fitness magazines, . . look at the fitness models and success stories and think, . ."I want that to be me." We want to be ripped and fabulous, . . but guess what? I've had an epiphany. We are fabulous and we are wasting our time energy and happiness focusing on how much and how often, . . and we beat ourselves up for eating something not so great and then not only do our families suffer we suffer. We lose sleep, feel grumpy, angry, and it becomes a vicious cycle. To sum it up you have to start with loving yourself for who you are and what you have accomplished. I know life throws us some lemons sometimes but you really have to try to look at the positives that are in your life, . .trust me if you look hard enough you'll find something. Think of the poor people in Haiti that would be grateful for food, . . think of how worse things could be. Mostly hang in there. We are all here for you. Sending you hugs.
What I did was throw out the scale, stop subscribing to Oxygen and all the other fitness magazines that I had subscribed to and switched my mindset from having to work out to wanting to workout. I eat natural foods, cook a lot more using natural ingredients so I know what is in it. If I want a burger and fries, . . I make it myself, . . with a healthy portion. Naturally ground beef and home made bakes fries. Then I don't hate myself for doing it. I'm taking classes that I've always wanted to take (kenpo karate, ballet, ballroom, fencing) and I'm running shorter distances, and hiking so I can smell the flowers.
My fitness routine consists of things that will make me happy not obsessive. Because lets face it that is what a lot of us are. Obsessed with fitness and how we look. I think what happens is that we've all lost weight and started lifting weights, . . we liked how we feel and how people would say "Wow you look great!" and then we become obsessed with how we can have more, . . and more, . . and more, . .we scour the fitness magazines, . . look at the fitness models and success stories and think, . ."I want that to be me." We want to be ripped and fabulous, . . but guess what? I've had an epiphany. We are fabulous and we are wasting our time energy and happiness focusing on how much and how often, . . and we beat ourselves up for eating something not so great and then not only do our families suffer we suffer. We lose sleep, feel grumpy, angry, and it becomes a vicious cycle. To sum it up you have to start with loving yourself for who you are and what you have accomplished. I know life throws us some lemons sometimes but you really have to try to look at the positives that are in your life, . .trust me if you look hard enough you'll find something. Think of the poor people in Haiti that would be grateful for food, . . think of how worse things could be. Mostly hang in there. We are all here for you. Sending you hugs.
Boingo1
Cathlete
To me it sounds like you're having a tough emotional life and perhaps you need to concentrate on fixing your emotions and your reaction to emotions? Just guessing here, I may be wrong. But that's what my problem is. I have anxieties in my life, that draw me towards eating "crappy for me" foods. I've been working on meditating and working on the INSIDE of me. Alot of what Gayle already said.
You obviously have the knowledge, and you know you CAN do it. But life is different now, and maybe you need to use different methods.
You obviously have the knowledge, and you know you CAN do it. But life is different now, and maybe you need to use different methods.
banslug
Cathlete
Debbie, it's not necessarily anything I DID that helped me. It was more a transition for me to ACCEPT what life has tossed me, ACCEPT my genetics and work WITH them, and give up the control I was so desperately seeking over things I simply could not control. It helps, no doubt, that I have been blessed with this "DARE ME, I CAN HANDLE IT" attitude ever since I was a kid, and that came from my Mom and Dad. I used that throughout my high school life and athletics, college life and athletics, adulthood and ALL the drama (both good and bad) that comes with this.
I began reading The Purpose Driven Life to start to look inward....now, I didn't finish that book simply because it wasn't totally 'for me', but I used it as a way to question myself, my belief and ME to see what is truly important to me.
I swear to you, the very SECOND I became OKAY with being "Gayle, the single, widowed, mother of 2 incredible yet crazy boysD), daughter to wonderful parents, as good of a friend as I know how to be some wonderful women, and Gayle the athlete", a major yet WONDERFUL twist came over the holiday break and every single piece of MY PERSONAL PUZZLE came together. (I'm sorry I'm not sharing more details on the specifics of what is currently changing in my life...it's only because I'm holding it close and dear to me FOR NOW. Sort of like my little secret till we....yes, WE....are ready to share it with the ENTIRE WORLD.)
I began reading The Purpose Driven Life to start to look inward....now, I didn't finish that book simply because it wasn't totally 'for me', but I used it as a way to question myself, my belief and ME to see what is truly important to me.
I swear to you, the very SECOND I became OKAY with being "Gayle, the single, widowed, mother of 2 incredible yet crazy boys
D), daughter to wonderful parents, as good of a friend as I know how to be some wonderful women, and Gayle the athlete", a major yet WONDERFUL twist came over the holiday break and every single piece of MY PERSONAL PUZZLE came together. (I'm sorry I'm not sharing more details on the specifics of what is currently changing in my life...it's only because I'm holding it close and dear to me FOR NOW. Sort of like my little secret till we....yes, WE....are ready to share it with the ENTIRE WORLD.) what great posts everyone. you all are making me feel so much better. i'm going to address the responses:
hriacobacci: it is a fine line and the more i try to do whats right, the more unbalanced i become.
jennifermaria: its so challenging. the chatter in my head never lets me relax and is always thinking about the next meal or how i'm going to get my exercise in. i'm glad that my post helped some. i live in a world of extremes and i can't find balance; i'm either super strict or not giving a sh** which is why i keep gaining and losing these same 5-7lbs. I need to focus on my mental chatter.
RapidBreath: i have yet to listen to the podcast even though it keeps getting recommended. i'm definately going to do it this time. i'm glad you are getting into the paleo diet but you are right, i need to do what works for me and this isn't it; at least not right now.
Worknprogress: thats the other thing that plaques me at times. i'm doing all these intense workouts which i do sometimes enjoy but sometimes i feel like they are hurting me more then helping me. i kindof wonder if i need to be killing myself lifting weights and doing HIIT. Does it really matter? i just want to be healthy so really i just need to move my body not kill it.
janie1234: your post really hit home. I subscribe to EVERY fitness mag out there. Not to mention i keep buying more workout dvds in the quest of this perfection or the secret ingrediant that is going to balance my life. I'm such a negative person and lately the binging has made me so depressed. its definately affecting not only me but others around me. I have really thought of canceling all of my mags just like you. I love the idea of making your own food fresh like the burger and fries. all things can be healthy and satisfying. I have been saying to myself a lot "it could be worse" "think of all the people in haiti. It does get me out of myself. I keep doing traditional workouts (lifting and cardio) and feel as though they have no purpose other then i feel like i have to do them to be healthy. I want to find other hobbies and interests instead. My husband won't step foot in a gym. Instead he bike rides at the beach, snowboards, surfs, does some pushups, etc just things he likes to do. I envy that. I'm just in this cycle where i'm like a robot and i'm preprogrammed based on what this expert, magazine, or book said.
Boingo1: you are 100% correct. Its all emotional. I'm going through a lot right now and my hubby is out of town so i'm lonely as i miss him terribly. Emotionally i feel all over the place and i'm just trying to find balance. most of it is stress over still not finding a job
banslug: i definately need to change my reaction to what happens around me. i've always loved that saying about how you can control everything around you but you can control how you react to those things around you. i need to walk the walk which is easier said then done. a lot of this is learned behavior from my mom. her and i are a lot alike
hriacobacci: it is a fine line and the more i try to do whats right, the more unbalanced i become.
jennifermaria: its so challenging. the chatter in my head never lets me relax and is always thinking about the next meal or how i'm going to get my exercise in. i'm glad that my post helped some. i live in a world of extremes and i can't find balance; i'm either super strict or not giving a sh** which is why i keep gaining and losing these same 5-7lbs. I need to focus on my mental chatter.
RapidBreath: i have yet to listen to the podcast even though it keeps getting recommended. i'm definately going to do it this time. i'm glad you are getting into the paleo diet but you are right, i need to do what works for me and this isn't it; at least not right now.
Worknprogress: thats the other thing that plaques me at times. i'm doing all these intense workouts which i do sometimes enjoy but sometimes i feel like they are hurting me more then helping me. i kindof wonder if i need to be killing myself lifting weights and doing HIIT. Does it really matter? i just want to be healthy so really i just need to move my body not kill it.
janie1234: your post really hit home. I subscribe to EVERY fitness mag out there. Not to mention i keep buying more workout dvds in the quest of this perfection or the secret ingrediant that is going to balance my life. I'm such a negative person and lately the binging has made me so depressed. its definately affecting not only me but others around me. I have really thought of canceling all of my mags just like you. I love the idea of making your own food fresh like the burger and fries. all things can be healthy and satisfying. I have been saying to myself a lot "it could be worse" "think of all the people in haiti. It does get me out of myself. I keep doing traditional workouts (lifting and cardio) and feel as though they have no purpose other then i feel like i have to do them to be healthy. I want to find other hobbies and interests instead. My husband won't step foot in a gym. Instead he bike rides at the beach, snowboards, surfs, does some pushups, etc just things he likes to do. I envy that. I'm just in this cycle where i'm like a robot and i'm preprogrammed based on what this expert, magazine, or book said.
Boingo1: you are 100% correct. Its all emotional. I'm going through a lot right now and my hubby is out of town so i'm lonely as i miss him terribly. Emotionally i feel all over the place and i'm just trying to find balance. most of it is stress over still not finding a job
banslug: i definately need to change my reaction to what happens around me. i've always loved that saying about how you can control everything around you but you can control how you react to those things around you. i need to walk the walk which is easier said then done. a lot of this is learned behavior from my mom. her and i are a lot alike
jennifermaria
Cathlete
Man oh man can I relate! I too toggle from one extreme to the other and can't seem to shake these last 5-7 pounds. Just when I make progress in losing them, I gain them all back in a matter of a few days, it seems. Sigh.
syzygy314
Cathlete
{{{{Kariev}}}}
I feel your pain! I really do! I have been there, done that, tried this, ate this, not that. The more "diets" I tried, the worse I felt and the harder it was to stay with it! It's enough to just make you want to scream!
I must agree with you that the best way to be healthy is to completely listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, hopefully deliciously healthy foods, and stop when full. Your body will readjust to the feeding schedule it needs based on your lifestyle and obligations. It all takes time and patience.
Unfortunately, we do all tend to read too much, listen too much to the "experts" and try to force our bodies to respond to what works for someone else. Each of us individually has to find that right place where we are satisfied with our eating habits and can accomplish our goals on it and, most importantly, live with it!
Hang in there! You will find your way and get on a meal plan that works for you and lets you be happy with your choices and not worry or feel like you have to think about it all the time!
I feel your pain! I really do! I have been there, done that, tried this, ate this, not that. The more "diets" I tried, the worse I felt and the harder it was to stay with it! It's enough to just make you want to scream!
I must agree with you that the best way to be healthy is to completely listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, hopefully deliciously healthy foods, and stop when full. Your body will readjust to the feeding schedule it needs based on your lifestyle and obligations. It all takes time and patience.
Unfortunately, we do all tend to read too much, listen too much to the "experts" and try to force our bodies to respond to what works for someone else. Each of us individually has to find that right place where we are satisfied with our eating habits and can accomplish our goals on it and, most importantly, live with it!
Hang in there! You will find your way and get on a meal plan that works for you and lets you be happy with your choices and not worry or feel like you have to think about it all the time!