What's the MOST insensitive remark you've heard?

G

getnfit@38

Cathlete
Hi all :)
My mother had me so hot I thought my hair would pop like popcorn! So now that the moment is over, and I can actually laugh about it, while reminding myself she is 71 years old and partially senile, I thought I'd ask you guys to chip in/vent your own, "most insensitive remark" in regards your fitness and/or weight loss/weight maintenance efforts.
Here's mine, made by my own mother!

my mom: "Sweetheart, I found some of your old clothes in the front hall closet, should I put them in a bag so you can take them with you next visit?"
me: "Old clothes?" "What size are they?"
my mom: "The tag in the sweater says size 28" "The tag in the pants say XXXL" "They're really a beautiful set, you'll probably want them."
me: "Um Mom, I wear a size 14 now, and still falling, thanks, but you can give them to Goodwill when you make your yearly donation." "I threw away all my fat clothes a long time ago, I plan to never need them again." "Thanks, but an XXXL is never going on this body again!"
my mom: "Oh honey, I'll just save them, you might need to wear them again sooner than you think!"
me: "........" (total silence because I can't curse out my 71 year old mother!)

OOOOOOHHHHHHH, she had me steamed! But now I can laugh about it, it's a new day, and someday when she's no longer around, I'll look back on that conversation and crack up! :)
So~what insensitive remarks have you had to endure?
Donna
 
LOL, Donna, I know you were about to bust! You're right, she's your Mom and so you (and I) must endure.

Here's mine. My FIL's cousin and his wife are at our home for a small get-together and he spots my wedding picture...takes a closer look... and then turns around and says, "Wow, you used to look good." GULP! Now, I can't stand him and my wedding picture is in the closet.

Robin.
 
From a guy I work with and used to know me in college:

Him: Have you lost weight?
Me: Yes, I certainly have. I've lost almost 20 pounds.
Him: You are still not as skinny as you were in college. You looked good back then.
Me: Thanks alot.
Him: Don't worry...you will gain it all back I'm sure.
 
Just last week my pseudo mother-in-law came home while I was in front of her house on my bike, she said that she didn't recognize me because she thought I was one of the skinny little boys from the neighborhood. That's encouraging!
 
We had just come back from a 3 week trip and were visiting my husband's parents. I was telling her that we had a fantastic time but I had eaten so much I had gained 5 pounds.......she looked me up and down and said "I thought it would have been more than that". I tried to make light of it and laughing said "Don't you just say the nicest things". Conversation just continued.....she apparently didn't even realize her remark could have hurt! We burst out laughting when we got in the car....it was so unlike her to be that blunt.

Susan
 
I have one,my coworker just can't get over the fact that I'm a 9/10 she's a 14 but tries to squeeze into 12's. Last week her sister was in the office her sister is very tiny probably a 4-6 anyway, she looks at her sister and says "look at Shanda, does she look like a 9/10 to you? her butt is so big, I don't mean at the top her bottom" . I'm a pear shape very small at the top and big at the bottom. Then she goes on to say "If she's a 9/10 I should be one were the same size."

Her sister looked at her and said "You're just mad, you are bigger than her she looks like a 9/10 and your butt is bigger than hers". I was steaming the nerve of her to ask her sister that in front of me. But next time she comes in I'm going to fix her good I'm going to say good morning big booty(LOL). She's going to be furious it serves her right. People, but I just try to ignore it.

Good thread!
Shanda
 
Hmmmm, I'm sure this is not the MOST insensitive remark I have received, but I got a laugh out of it. We were at my in-laws (who, BTW, I love dearly) and going thru some OLD pix. My FIL came across a pix of me holding my kids from about the year 1980. He handed me the pix and said, "OH MY GOSH, look how young you were back then!!!" I wanted to say, "Well, most people do AGE over 22 years!" As soon as he said it, he said, "Not that you look old NOW!" Ha, we all had a good laugh over it anyways. BTW, I DID look young! :)

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
I also doubt this is the most insensitive remark I have gotten but it is one that sticks out in my mind. Especially when I was living at home my daddy would make comments about my weight. I have always struggled with it. Anyway, any time I would say I had lost weight he would tell me to turn around and look at my backside because he had found it.

He has very skinny legs. I should have told him that he needed a lawyer so he could sue his legs for nonsupport! Oh well, he really didn't mean to hurt my feelings but I have always been sensitive about my sizable rearend.

Kelly http://www.sgtfuzzbubble99.homestead.com/files/Smilies/De_Niro/eeyore.gif
 
Ha, I like this thread.

In my first job after college, I had this chauvenistic boss who thought anyone over a size 4-6 was "heavy". I showed him my college I.D. (from when I was in terrible shape) and he said, "Wow! Your face was so swollen. You look like you were hit in the face by a 2X4!"

Then there's this man at work currently who, when I started (and I was also in terrible shape then) kept asking if I was pregnant. I answered with, "No, my stomach is just fat." Then I lost 25 pounds (not because of his remarks, thank you) and he said I looked too thin and sickly. After I quit smoking and gained some weight back, apparently he finally approved of my appearance and said I used to be too thin, but now I have a shapely butt, and butts are in now, citing Jennifer Lopez as an example. Let me tell you, I can finally sleep at night, now that he approves of my body size (heavy sarcasm here).

I could go on and on...most of my examples come from chauvenistic men who think it's their duty to comment on my appearance.
 
RE: a few from my mother

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Apr-15-02 AT 12:27PM (Est)[/font][p]My mother has been known to annoy me in the last 6 months or so. Here are a few examples:

1. At Christmas dinner at my home this year, she says to me after I get dressed in a pair of black pants and a sleeveless shirt, "Just because you have a nice body, you don't have to show it off";

2. She goes to visit my brother in Las Vegas and upon her arrival home, she says to me, "Kerry says you will look like a guy soon if you don't watch out". Upon asking my brother about this, he just shook his head and said that he had told my mother that I was looking really good and that he was jealous because he wished he was in as good shape as I was. (he used to play professional hockey and has since slacked off a bit).

3. A few years ago before I ever even had kids (that would be over 10 years now), she says to me, "you better watch out because you could get pretty fat.

Mothers are not supposed to be jealous of their daughters but I believe she cannot help herself. You see, she lost a fair bit of weight on WW last year but has since slacked off and gained it all back. She refuses to exercise and makes comments like "you don't need to exercise, you are thin". I think that in a way, I remind her that she is overweight or something. She also thinks my muscular definition has me on my way to becoming a man or some such silly thing.

My motto is "consider where it's coming from" and try not to let it bother you.

Kim
 
RE: a few from my mother

Okay, I have big lips like Angelina Jolie. I am finally learning to accept them. I worked in retail WAY TOO LONG! But here is what some customers actually said to me:
#1 "Your mouth makes you look like a monster."
#2 "Was your father a horse?"
And here's my favorite:
#3 When I worked at the ice cream counter, a customer was asking about flavors "I haven't tried them all," I said, "If I did, it would go right to my thighs," to which the b@*@h replied, "Looks to me like it goes right to your lips."
#4 Once when I was 12 (and clearly 12 year olds already think they are ugly and awkward) I went to a Mary Kay party and the witch who was handing out samples of lipstick gave me one, paused, put her hand on her hip, handed me another one and said, "Here sweetie, you'd better take two." And lastly, after confiding in a person that I was hospitalized with anorexia, this person looked at me and said, "Well you obviously don't have that problem anymore!"
Clearly Donna, your mother and these folks were let off the moron bus to tour this country, but no one bothered to help them get back on so now they wander aimlessly from town to town offending as they go!
 
You guys are great!

ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!
You guys slay me! :) :) :)

No where else but here could I get this kind of support! You are the supportive family I always wanted but wasn't lucky enough to be born into!
 
RE: Whoever angers you controls you

It never ceases to amaze me, how people feel that another person's size / shape / dress / what-have-you is a perfectly acceptable topic for any discussion! I've always felt it to be very crass, even when it is meant as a "compliment" Only now in my '40's am I summoning the necessary disrespect just to look at the commenter blankly and say NOTHING.

I've gotten it from both ends. Constant, relentless comments about my overweight when I was younger (especially from my mother and sister, but also from teachers, classmates, total strangers), and these days, a male co-worker of mine making veiled comments about my ostensible "less-than-feminine" muscles and my ostensible "underweight".

There's no shortage of boneheads out there, is there?

Annette
 
RE: a few from my mother

Isn't it amazing how rude people can be?

I just had to post this. A few years ago my now sister in law was shopping for her wedding dress. She was a little heavy, but had started losing weight(she continued until the wedding and looked gorgeous). At one point a tall slender girl came out of a nearby dressing room with the same dress as my SIL. SIL's stupid mother said "The dress looks better on that girl over there" My mom and I were both in so much shock, we didn't know what to say! My SIL looked like a princess

I was at the doctor's last summer and a large overweight nurse who weighed me said "Hmp, things change in a few years don't they?" and had a sarcastic look on her face. I had no idea what she was talking about but just gave her a smile. When she seated me in my doctors office, I looked at my chart and a few years earlier I weight 120, now according to them (I don't weigh myself) I was 135 pounds. In that 3 year period I started strength training, so I know the gain was all muscle (at least that's what I keep telling myself!). I just thought that was so insensitive. That nurse didn't know if I had a medical condition, if I was pregnant or whatever. It took all my strength to no make a nasty comment back to her when I left, for all I know she has a medical condition that made her overweight.
 
RE: a few from my mother

Isn't it amazing how rude people can be?

I just had to post this. A few years ago my now sister in law was shopping for her wedding dress. She was a little heavy, but had started losing weight(she continued until the wedding and looked gorgeous). At one point a tall slender girl came out of a nearby dressing room with the same dress as my SIL. SIL's stupid mother said "The dress looks better on that girl over there" My mom and I were both in so much shock, we didn't know what to say! My SIL looked like a princess

I was at the doctor's last summer and a large overweight nurse who weighed me said "Hmp, things change in a few years don't they?" and had a sarcastic look on her face. I had no idea what she was talking about but just gave her a smile. When she seated me in my doctors office, I looked at my chart and a few years earlier I weight 120, now according to them (I don't weigh myself) I was 135 pounds. In that 3 year period I started strength training, so I know the gain was all muscle (at least that's what I keep telling myself!). I just thought that was so insensitive. That nurse didn't know if I had a medical condition, if I was pregnant or whatever. It took all my strength to no make a nasty comment back to her when I left, for all I know she has a medical condition that made her overweight.
 
RE: Whoever angers you controls you

My sister's best comeback to a guy who was commenting on how fat she was (she's looking good these days)....
"I can lose fat; YOU can't lose ugly."
Amy
 
RE: a few from my mother

I totally agree! They aren't happy when you're thin, only to give you a hard time if you gain. Sometimes I wish I'd have the nerve to say something back, but hey, when its your mom, what can you really say? "Gee, thanks for being so concerned with MY weight, mom." :-rollen
 
Everyone seems to think that rudeness is something new, but I beg to differ. Public rudeness is on the rise, but I think family rudeness has always been there. Our elders seem to think that if you are a relative, they don't have to be polite, considerate or nice to you. This is an attitude that has long bugged me! No need for "please's", "thank you's", etc.

Friends out there, be nice to your kids! Please! Being a relative is no excuse to leaving your manners at the door.
 
Meow!

It is amazing how insensitive people can be, even the ones you love. My sister poked me in the stomach last year when we were at my mom's house and asked, "Are you sure there isn't a baby in there?" I was 10 pounds heavier--135 on my 5'7" frame and I am an apple so while I stay skinny everywhere else, I put fat on in my belly. She apparently puts hers on in her head! Only kidding. She's a pear and I resisted the urge to make a fat @$$ comment and said nothing but it hurt my feelings and was a nasty and unnecessary comment! All I can say is try to forgive them because we can change our appearance but it's hard to stop being a jerk!
After reading this thread, I think I will look at people and try really hard to see the most beautiful thing about them. I'd much rather build someone up than tear them down. Beside those negative and insulting people really deserve to be pitied. Life is a wonderful thing, why ugly it up by being mean!
Bobbi http://www.plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif Chick's Rule!
 
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