What's the MOST insensitive remark you've heard?

RE: Meow!

I agree forgive them all... most don't even know they they are hurting you! My ex had a number of issues - chief of which was a desire for me to look as much as possible like a boy. Trying to please him, I engaged in active bulemia and got down to 89 pounds (I'm 5'3"). He could still look me in the eye as I was getting out of the shower and say "Hurry and cover up, I can't stand to see you so fat."

Luckily, I had a healthier, happier, life ahead of me.

Katie
 
Not that this is an insensitive remark, but when people are OVERconfident, it gets on my nerves. My neighbor told me today that when her kids are teenagers that they will NEVER get into any kind of trouble (they are age 3 and 6 now) She told me they would always be under her thumb. Wish I had that much confidence in my parenting. My son is 5 and I'm already terrified of the teenage years! Maybe some of her confidence will rub off on me since I live next door. Just a little bit,because I think too much is asking for trouble.
 
Never, eh? That's a tall order! My kids know they can come to me with anything and hopefully always will! Aside from that, I pray alot for their protection! But those critters have minds of their own! It's to be hoped your overconfident neighbor is right, because with her attitude, she;'ll be ill prepared to deal with what a teenage might come up with!

Bobbi http://www.plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif Chick's Rule!
 
RE: Bobbi

You know, 135 on a 5'7" frame sounds about right to me. (I say this with hope as that is about where I hover give or take - mostly give as of late)

I find that when a person is fit and healthy, others scrutinize even more in looking for imperfections. For example, I have a neighbour who is quite overweight. Her neighbour is an aerobics instructor. One day, she made a comment to me that she had seen her neighbour sunbathing and thought she would look a lot better than she did because she teaches aerobics. The woman looks great but alas, is not perfect. I think a lot of fitness professionals must face that "well you work out for a living so you should look perfect" mentality. Once again, it deserves to be said that fit is not necessarily thin.

Kim
 
Get 'Em All Together...

Let's start a TV show like "Survivor". Get all the rude people we know and offer them a huge sum of money. Have them spend one week together. All on 24 hour video cam. If anyone survived and came out with a positive outlook then they would win!
 
Amen, Kim!

I fight that "I HAVE TO BE THIN because I'm an instructor." It's hard at times, but I remind myself over & over, I am HEALTHY!!! And, I AM!! Thanks for the reminder!:)

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
Co-worker food police

Oh! And I've forgotten about my co-worker food police. Now, I like my goodies and treats just as much as the next person, but usually I eat high-fiber cereal, yogurt, fruit, and vegetables during the day at work, and forego cake, donuts, and other office goodies. And I do not try to push healthy food on others or anything. There's one gal here who bursts into my cube on a regular basis when she sees me eating (I usually eat at my desk...partly to avoid ridicule) and yells, "What are you eating?!!? Is that yogurt?? A protein shake?! Why aren't you having a donut??!! Are you insane?!!"

Once, my boss came in and saw my baggie of Kashi Good Friends and asked, "Is that cat food?" I thought that was funny, not necessarily insensitive.

I guess I was under the mistaken assumption that most people eat healthy stuff for breakfast instead of donuts and cake.
 
RE: Co-worker food police

I've gotten to the point that I don't like to eat lunch with my co-workers. I'm a vegetarian and they are alwways making snide remarks, "How long do I plan on being a vegetarian?" "WHUT IS THAT??" when I have something different, etc. And we all know vegetarians only eat vegetables, don't we? (Dripping sarcasm!) I suppose if they were genuinely interested, I wouldn't mind explaining what hummus is. But they're not. And let's not even talk about when I don't want cake, candy, etc all the time.


Marcia, freezing in northern Sweden
 
I just had to respond to this. Your neighbor sounds like the kind of woman I don't want as a friend and I feel very sorry for her children. It sounds like they will never get a chance to grow and reach their potential.

I always wanted my children to stay out of "trouble" but i NEVER wanted them under my thumb. I didn't have children so they could be pets, I had children who are people in their own right, and I'd rather teach them how to think for themselves then tell them what to think.

-joy
 
RE: Rude remarks

I read this thread with interest. What a great one this is.

I am only five feet tall and all my life I have been getting comments about being short (as if I would not be aware of that fact without some lout bringing it up). People I don't even know will call me "Shorty" or ask me stupid questions like "how short are you?" or worse, start singing that song about short people having no reason to live.

I have to admit that I am really sick and tired of it all.

I would never make a comment to anyone about their size (too tall, too fat, too thin, too short), or anything else about their physical appearance. I would never comment about a person's acne, missing limb, etc. So I am amazed at the number of people who think they are so clever as to find something to say about my lack of height.

The last butt-hole who asked me how come I was so short I decided to answer him.

I said that we all had to deal with the hand that God dealt us. In my case, it was lack of stature. In his case it was being a moron.

Most of the time I ignore these comments as best I can but that time I just could not help myself.

Marlene
 
This really takes the biscuit

One of the most insensitive thing a so-called friend of mine said to me was, after I told her recently that DH and I were trying to conceive, she said I shouldn’t get my hopes up about conceiving quickly and that it takes at least 18 months for the first one (even though DH and I are both young, healthy etc..), miscarriage is common etc.. - then she went into gruesome detail about a friend of hers who had 5 miscarriages before having her little one and gave me the number of a fertility specialist !!! When I told her shortly afterwards that I was pregnant, she then went on again about miscarriages and things that could go wrong - well I guess she could say nothing about the conception part. Joking aside, I remember feeling really hurt at the time yet trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. I absolutely hate seeing this friend now because I’m nearly 9 weeks pregnant and do not need to hear negative pregnancy stories, of which she has in abundance. Funny, because this friend (at 40) is 12 years older than me, single, desperate to be married/to have children yet I have never once said anything negative to her about her chances of settling down and have always encouraged her in this regard. I wonder how she would take it if I was really insensitive about her prospects of meeting Mr Right?

Can anyone top that?



Your friend in fitness, Fitnik
 
RE: This really takes the biscuit

Fitnik - Now that you are pregnant, nothing is sacred! Everyone you meet on the street is going to take it upon themselves to give you advice, tell you their horror story, and make any comment on their minds about how you look, what you should be doing now that you are expecting, etc. :) It sounds like the woman you described is jealous of you, just smile and nod and walk away. I don't think of any comments you could make that would make the situation better.

I think the most insensitive remarks are made to pregnant women. My BIL was not afraid to tell me I was hugely fat every time he saw me. Granted, I did gain over 50 lbs but I had a 9 lb baby in there!

Whenever they saw the baby move they would yell EEEEEWWWWWW GROSS, her tummy is moving around!!!!! That's sick, make it stop!

Come on! A pregnant woman's hormones are totally out of whack already, and telling her how huge she is will only make her self-esteem plumet.

Keeping your sense of humor is the most important thing. Insensitive people are never going to go away.
 
RE: This really takes the biscuit

QUOTE:
“Fitnik - Now that you are pregnant, nothing is sacred! Everyone you meet on the street is going to take it upon themselves to give you advice, tell you their horror story, and make any comment on their minds about how you look, what you should be doing now that you are expecting, etc.”

You are so right! Very few people know I’m pregnant but this friend knows and so far she’s scrutinising everything I’m eating and listing do’s and don’ts - I’m sick of it and will be avoiding her like the plague from now on. I feel yucky and hormonal enough as it is without her stupid remarks. She is also very quick to tell me if I’m looking tired and that I’m gaining weight and that my boobs are huge. I truly feel like hitting her every time she makes these comments, especially as she’s at least 4 stone overweight herself and is nowhere near pregnant! Sorry that sounds catty but I’m up to here (waving hand above my head) with this girl.

Even some of my dear mother’s advice is unbelievable - she keeps telling me not to exercise at all during my pregnancy! She was horrified when I said I intended to walk throughout, sometimes on my treadmill. I find this intensely irritating but she comes from a generation of women who were happy to gain weight during pregnancy and to keep the weight on afterwards and never exercised, even when not pregnant- that will NEVER be me !


Your friend in fitness, Fitnik
 
RE: How about this one

I had a c-secion with my first child. My hubby(who usually is great) was in the or with me. After I was out of recovery, and fully awake, he said to me " You know what I saw. I saw a bunch of white stuff in your stomach. It was fat, and boy do you sure have a lot of it in there."
Good thing my spinal was still working and I couldn't move my legs, cause I would have beaten him to death with my IV pole for that remark.
 
RE: How about this one

rhbrand: I hope he got it later! Geez!

My rudest comment while pregnant wasn't about being fat...
I look young (carded for R-rated movies, that kind of thing) and while pregnant I wallowed in the earthy Northwest "granola" style that made me look younger. So..

I was standing in line at Kinkos when I was about 8 months pregnant (couldn't wear my wedding ring by then). The old lady standing behind me asked if the baby's father was going to be involved in the baby's life. I said yes, or I'd divorce him! Then she wanted to know what my parents were thinking to let us get married young with a baby on the way?!? I was so stunned I didn't even tell her I was 30!!!!

Have a great prenancy fitnik! Enjoy it your way!!! Katie
 
I heard a good remark today... kinda... I've been working on my masters, and haven't worked out in a good while, finally turned in a big project, and was telling my principal at school, I think I've gained ten pounds, doing all this work, and not taking good care of myself, eating wise, and working out.. she said oh jeez, where did you gain it in your earlobs!! That put a big smile on my face..

Amy
 
RE: Co-worker food police

I can empathize with coworkers making comments. I take it on the chin--on almost a daily basis--for my healthy diet. They practically interrogate me---"why do you eat so healthy? what are you eating now? why do you exercise?" The fact that I eat wheat germ on cottage cheese makes them grimace. Why do people care? I don't comment when I see them stuffing themselves with donuts, pizza, and candy. Not surprisingly, it's mostly the FEMALES who have to say something. There's a 25 year-old (I'm 39) who monitors everything I put in my mouth and gets annoyed when I won't eat junk food with the others. They'd better watch out because between Cathy and PowerStrike, I'm getting pretty darn strong!!! I might be tempted to give one of them a big old Front Push kick right in their kisser! haha.
 
RE: Co-worker food police

I can empathize with coworkers making comments. I take it on the chin--on almost a daily basis--for my healthy diet. They practically interrogate me---"why do you eat so healthy? what are you eating now? why do you exercise?" The fact that I eat wheat germ on cottage cheese makes them grimace. Why do people care? I don't comment when I see them stuffing themselves with donuts, pizza, and candy. Not surprisingly, it's mostly the FEMALES who have to say something. There's a 25 year-old (I'm 39) who monitors everything I put in my mouth and gets annoyed when I won't eat junk food with the others. They'd better watch out because between Cathe and PowerStrike, I'm getting pretty darn strong!!! I might be tempted to give one of them a big old Front Push kick right in their kisser! haha.
 
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