What would you do?

[LauraMax]

I retired at the end of September last year. I had a job I loved working with people I enjoyed being around (for the most part!). I had pretty much built the position from the ground up and created what are now institutional programs for the agency from scratch. However, in an effort to cut personnel costs the city offered a retirement incentive package that I just couldn't realistically turn down. Between the time the offer was made and the time it came for me to leave, which was about 9 months, I had really come to accept the whole retirement thing -- sort of. But I fully expected that I was going to be ready right away for another job and was halfway looking around. One opened up with a different city right before I retired (but still in the same area) that sounded like it was tailor-made for me. I had other people who learned about it sending the information to me and encouraging me to apply, telling me I would be crazy not to as they knew I would be perfect for it.

I was shocked at the sick feeling I kept getting in the pit of my stomach whenever I thought about the job and going back into a position with deadlines, responsibility for events resting on my shoulders, etc. And yet I felt guilty for not wanting to just jump at the chance for this perfect job that everyone thought I was crazy not to apply for. But when I did that "gut check" I knew it wasn't right for me at that time and I passed on it.

Not only am I glad I didn't because I'm still not ready to go back to work at this time, the position was eliminated anyway with the budget cuts.

The point of my long, self-involved story is that looking beyond the natural apprehension about the unknown, you have to listen to what your body is saying whenever you think about the new job and all it will entail. When you have a choice and it's not something that you absolutely have to do, you're better off going with your instincts.

On the flip side, though, I am wondering why you applied for the new job in a place that you clearly don't want to live?

I have to admit, I feel incredibly relieved now that I've made a decision.

I applied out of desperation to get away from my current job. I'd never actually been to the town before & liked the idea of "country" living, b/c I figured if it's in NJ it had to be in the middle of somewhere. Like, there HAD to be a mall nearby, & certainly at least one gym in town. I was wrong. In fact, I called my dad on the drive up for the first interview & told him I was having second thoughts now that I was seeing the actual area.

 

[MCunningham]

I voted! Based on what you've said, staying where you are now sounds like a better idea. Just try to find another job! Jobs come and go, but if you're miserable where you live, that misery will taint everything else in your life. At least with a job, your workday is finite.

MC

 

[Shoegal]

I have a question - can you commute? I currently live an hour away from where I work. I know - it is not ideal - but it isn't really that bad either. I live in the country (where as you say, there is nothing around) and work where there is civilization. It would be even better for you - because you'd work where there isn't too much - but live where there the store and gym are right there (when you need it.) You could have your cake and eat it too - have a wonderful job you'd love and still live where you love. Some food for thought.

 

[NancyAZ]

I have to admit, I feel incredibly relieved now that I've made a decision.

I applied out of desperation to get away from my current job. I'd never actually been to the town before & liked the idea of "country" living, b/c I figured if it's in NJ it had to be in the middle of somewhere. Like, there HAD to be a mall nearby, & certainly at least one gym in town. I was wrong. In fact, I called my dad on the drive up for the first interview & told him I was having second thoughts now that I was seeing the actual area.

I understand now.

 

[andtckrtoo]

I have a question - can you commute? I currently live an hour away from where I work. I know - it is not ideal - but it isn't really that bad either. I live in the country (where as you say, there is nothing around) and work where there is civilization. It would be even better for you - because you'd work where there isn't too much - but live where there the store and gym are right there (when you need it.) You could have your cake and eat it too - have a wonderful job you'd love and still live where you love. Some food for thought.

I'm not quite sure what you do, but many places have the ability to work from home as well. If you could stay where you are and just drive in a few times a week, that might be the best of both worlds - although working from home is not for everyone. I can do it one or two times a week, but then I get bored and need people.

 

[diane57]

Would it be possible to investigate living somewhere in the middle - somewhere civilized, where you would enjoy living? Then you could commute more like 1/2 hour to the new job, and would still be about an hour away from your dad?

For me, personally, where I live is more important to me than a good job, I would not relocate for a better job if i did not like the place where I would be spending my weekends and evenings.

 

[lkl]

i commuted for 1.5-2 hrs each way for one job and the traffic was horrible. how would the traffic be during rush hour?? if you don't mind driving, you could take the job and commute for one year and then decide if you want to move or look for a new job. i would sometimes listen to audio books and not want to get out of the car when i got to where i was going, so addictive.

 

[LauraMax]

I don't think I could commute. I have my little dogs to think about (not to mention my w/o routine, but that comes second ). I've always arranged my life around my dogs & made sure I could make it home for lunch for yard & playtime in the middle of the day. I'm not willing to compromise on that.

 

[Lynn M.]

I just jumped on to read your post and it looks like you are going to stay?

I think that staying where you are at is a good decision... between your family being closer, having the gym that is closer, plus, I am sure you have a wide social group of friends in the area you live in that you would be moving away from.

I think staying put is your best bet!

Take care, Lynn M.

 

[JennieR]

My gut is telling me to stay. I cannot imagine putting the $5000 plus into a move I can't get excited about. But the prospect of staying in this job is making me sick to my stomach.

I'd go with your gut. I had a job offer about a year ago, and even though I HATE my job, I'm glad I didn't take the job offer.

 

[NY25]

Stay put and keep looking. You're only 20 minutes from the city? Have you considered Manhattan, or Jersey City or Hoboken? Jersey City has grown leaps and bounds in the last few years and the commute may be easy from where you're at. What do you do again?

 

[ZeepZapula]

I'm not quite sure what you do, but many places have the ability to work from home as well. If you could stay where you are and just drive in a few times a week, that might be the best of both worlds - although working from home is not for everyone. I can do it one or two times a week, but then I get bored and need people.

Just think...if you worked from home you wouldn't have any more toilet stories about your boss. Poop there it is!

 

[lkl]

I don't think I could commute. I have my little dogs to think about (not to mention my w/o routine, but that comes second ). I've always arranged my life around my dogs & made sure I could make it home for lunch for yard & playtime in the middle of the day. I'm not willing to compromise on that.

awwwh. you're a good mom. lucky pups.

 

[LauraMax]

Just think...if you worked from home you wouldn't have any more toilet stories about your boss. Poop there it is!

LMAO! Your post count is decieving! You've clearly been around her for much longer than 3 posts........ I started taking pics of that to send to OSHA (I think a forum member recommended this) & all of a sudden it stopped. He still leaves the seat up though.

I work for municipal govmt. Basically there's only one of me in every town--actually not even in every town, some don't have my position. I'm very qualified for what I do, but those qualifications are extremely limited & I've pretty much painted myself into a corner career wise. Unless something opens up in a neighboring town, I'm doomed to stay at this job or relocate. Can't work from home, & can't really switch careers either--I'm almost 10 years into a pension & I don't want to lose it.

<sigh> if only I'd become a personal trainer right out of college. I'd be poorer now, but I'd probably be happier.

 

[DEEDEE2]

My gut is telling me to stay. I cannot imagine putting the $5000 plus into a move I can't get excited about. But the prospect of staying in this job is making me sick to my stomach.

.

I say follow your gut...unless it has let you down in the past.