Eating and Exercising Intuitively
Dani:
I have been eating intuitively since the 4th of July this year, so that is how I voted. I was put on my first diet when I was 9 years old. I tried to be a professional dieter, but I got fired! I have a big rebellious streak. My heart longs to live in freedom apart from legalistic rules, boundaries, and external control. Keeping food logs and counting calories or points drives me nuts. I am a romantic. I want to live and love life and savor ever moment. I do not thrive on programs or anything that is too structured. I do better with a style of eating that is not focused on numbers (like vegetarian for example), but I rebel against that too sooner or later.
I have been an emotional eater. I have been a binge eater. I have been a purger. I have been a crash dieter. I started my fitness journey 3 years ago this month, and I have been more of a careful eater in recent years. Actually, I cycled between careful eating and rebelling against it. I ate more intuitively in the beginning and dropped 80 pounds in 9 months. I was not focusing on my weight. My desire was to be free from binge eating. Intuitive eating is the best way I know to break the destructive cycle of binge eating. It worked for me! As soon as I was walking in victory over binge eating, I decided to tackle the rest of my weight. Big mistake. My weight bounced up and down for 2 years between a size 14 and a size 18. I forced myself to plan menus with perfect ratios for weeks at a time, but that never felt like a lifestyle to me. I do not want to keep food logs, weigh and measure food, or count anything for the rest of my life.
I joined this forum in March, added a rest day and stopped overtraining (with Cathe’s encouragement), and was more relaxed with my eating style. I dropped a size in 2 weeks. When a 12-week challenge started here, I joined. I slipped back into the pattern of being too careful with my eating. I made the mistake of trying to eat perfectly clean again. Working out started to feel like a chore. I went through a season of depression in June and did not want to exercise at all. Even my beloved Cathe workouts did not appeal to me. I was wearing a size 14 on Easter when I started the 12-week challenge. I challenged my way up to a size 18 again by the 4th of July.
I gave up my control on the 4th of July in a good way. I packed up my scale and started walking by faith. I legalized all foods and started eating intuitively again. I decided this past Saturday to exercise the same way. Instead of planning formal rotations, I am waking up and picking a workout that sounds like fun and feels like a good match for my energy level. I am having a blast. I am at peace with food and my body. I am loving and looking forward to my workouts again. Ironically, my eating is cleaner than it was when I was trying so hard to eat clean. When I listen to my body, I choose whole foods most of the time because that is what I crave. When I want a treat, I enjoy it without guilt. Then I go right back to eating in a way that blesses my body. Knowing that I am free to eat what I really want sets me free to not eat all of it today. Having a “free” day once a week was a good start to breaking the all-or-nothing cycle, but I found myself eating treats every week just because it was my free day. Now I just eat those foods when I really want them. Everything is much more satisfying this way, and I am discovering that sweets and treats are just occasional. Eating intuitively for me is eating foods that bless my whole body and make me feel good, not just eating things that taste good. I am eating when I am hungry until I am satisfied instead of measuring portions.
I do not know what effect this will have on my body, but it is already working wonders for my mental health. I am joyful and at peace right now. Instead of spending so much time planning perfect menus and rotations, I am spending more time with my friends and enjoying each day to the fullest now instead of putting my life on hold until I reach my goal. My ultimate goal is a size 8, and I believe my body will get there naturally. It may not happen in my timing, but it will happen. I have been thin in the past as a result of eating disorders and other obsessions. Losing weight is not worth it if you lose your mind in the process. Fitness is about freedom, not a size. I want to be fit and free!
Best wishes for your journey.
Blessings,
Heather B.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV).