Well, the new dog has been a disaster.

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
:( Poor Cherry. I feel so bad for her. She's very sweet & energetic, but Max just hates her. HATES her! She's slightly larger than him--they weigh about the same but she's taller with longer legs & is definitely faster.

The minute she met him his tail uncurled. You know when a pug's tail is uncurled something is seriously wrong. When we unleashed them (my dad was there, thank goodness) she tried to play w/him & he was not happy. The end result was a pretty ugly fight.

I tried to give them time to get used to each other last night but it didn't work. She seemed totally comfortable & at home in my house, but Max was not! He curled up in a corner & stared at her, stared at me, stared at her, but wouldn't move. Every time she tried to play w/him it ended up in a nasty fight. No wounds, thank god, but a very unpleasant thing to witness.

So, since the main reason I got her was for him to have a buddy & that's clearly not happening, I have to take her back to the shelter today. Thankfully they're a no-kill shelter, otherwise I'd probably be stuck w/2 dogs that don't get along. I do think she'll find a good home--she's cute, playful & has a very sweet personality.

But this has been so traumatic for both Max & me. I feel horrible for both of them. Clearly Max was meant to be an only child--he adored Cosmo but she was part of the family when I got him & he grew up w/her. I don't think he could accept another animal unless it's a puppy, & w/the hours I work there's no way I can get a puppy.

So sad. Definitely giving up on getting another dog.
 
Laura - Is there anyway that you could take Max to the shelter and have him play with different dogs in the dog yard and see who he gets along with? Also, bringing another dog into the current dog's territory rarely works. They really should meet on neutral ground and get to know each other there. My dog Montana would rip any dog up that I brought in the house (unless it's a puppy) if he doesn't know them. But if he meets them somewhere else, then when they come over to play he is fine. Your house is Max's territory. His reaction is completely normal. He's probably feeling very threatened.
 
Oh how sad. I'm not an expert with multiple dogs in the house (I have cats) but could you be giving up too quickly? Maybe they need a weekend together where you could be there too and where Max gets lots of attention so he knows he's not being replaced. When I introduced my second cat to the older one, they didn't get along either (the older cat despised the new one), but now they're good buddies. There was a lengthy adustment period where I even kept the new cat in the enclosed sunroom for about a week while I was at work cuz I didn't trust them not to fight while I was gone. Sorry it didn't go well. Deb
 
I agree with what was said above. My SIL recently acquired a new dachshund who like to attack the one she already ones (poor old guy). Slowly, things are improving. She's learning that she will not be top dog and he is learning that even though he has a new sister he is loved just as much. Most of the scuffles take place when their mom, my SIL, is present. Kids will be kids.
 
I just can't do it to poor Max. Between losing Cosmo & moving in the last 10 months I think he's been through enough. Also I'm not home as much as I'd like & the whole point of this was to give him someone who'll keep him company & make him feel better, not freak him out.

The women at the shelter told me the best way to introduce them WAS on his territory, & that the worst possible thing for him would be to bring him there where there were so many other animals to scare & distract him. Strange how Cherry felt so comfortable in a strange place & he felt so freaked & threatened in his own home. And believe me, he got lots of coddling last night while she was pretty much ignored. It's not fair to either one of them.

Like I said, I won't put him through anymore stress. Poor little fella has already had more than his share of trauma in the past months.
 
IMHO opinion you got some bum advice from the shelter chick. Regardless, if you don't feel comfortable waiting it out (and who knows that it would work out) I think you are doing the right thing.
 
I think I could wait it out if it wasn't for the fighting. Too risky for them both & too scary for me. To see 2 dogs going at each other as if they wanted to eat the other's ears for dinner is not a pretty picture.
 
Have you spoken with the vet? They might have some strategies. My SIL got some helpful advice.
 
I haven't. I just have this instinct that Max will never take to her (or any other animal that weighs more than 5 lbs for that matter). I feel like I need to bring her back before I get too attached to her.
 
I don't agree with the advice the shelter person gave you. Neutral territory I feel is a better choice and not face to face but side to side. Also, if you feel up to it, take them out for a walk together. The walking seems to bond them. I don't feel you can just bring another dog into the house and think that your dog will say oh great a new friend. I like Cesar Milan and find that alot of his suggestions work. Maybe check out his website for some advice. But it is rare for a bond to develop overnite. Poor Cherry--thought she got a home and poor Max--thought who is this chick? If you like Cherry don't give up too quickly. But if there is too much aggression I guess you have no choice. Good luck. But at least try the walk.
 
No disrespect, but that lady at the shelter doesn't know what she is talking about. You always introduce animals on neutral turf. I wouldn't take any advice from her anymore. You know your doggie best, so I'm sure you know whether he will take to her or not by the way he is acting. If you're like me, you will get attached quickly, so I totally understand you wanting to take her back soon. Sorry it didn't work out for you, I was really hoping it would. :/
 
I also agree that you got bad advice from the shelter lady. In fact, at our shelter, if you have a dog and are getting another one you are REQUIRED to bring your dog there to see how they get along before you are allowed to adopt it. They have far less 'returns' that way and I think that is a wonderful idea. We just adopted a new dog about two and a half weeks ago and we took our dog to the shelter to make sure they got along before we brought the new one home. They were kind of indifferent towards each other which we took as a good sign...they didn't NOT like each other. It took a few days for our dog to warm up to the new one (he would walk away if the new one started to bother him) and he made sure the new one knew that he was top dog, but there wasn't any hostility or anything and now they get along just fine. They even play together now.

If you take this one back and are looking at getting another one, I highly recommend taking your dog with you.
 
<<The women at the shelter told me the best way to introduce them WAS on his territory, & that the worst possible thing for him would be to bring him there where there were so many other animals to scare & distract him.>>

I agree with what others have posted. The shelter people gave you BAD advise. Every expert I've seen/read on this type of situation always recommends introductions on neutral territory. Re-try introductions the correct way before giving up. I'd be super-pissed at the shelter people.

HSUS:
http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/o...tip_sheets/introducing_pets_to_a_new_dog.html

VeterinaryPartner.com
http://www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?P=A&A=2465&S=1&SourceID=47

BestFriends.org
http://www.bestfriends.org/theanimals/pdfs/dogs/introducingdogs.pdf
 
I think it might take some time for them to get use to each other. I remember having a cat, when we introduced a new one it took a week or so before they got to use to each other. They did not like each other right away at all.

If you gave them the weekend, you might see a differnce, then again, you might not.

I know how easy it is to get attached to animals. I probably would have already been attached.
 
No, my gut is telling me Max will never take to her. I CAN NOT put him through any more emotional crises.

Bottom line, this is not just my decision, this is his decision too. He's sent me a message & I'm hearing him loud & clear.

No more dogs. I'm giving up. It'll just me Max & me for the foreseeable future.
 
I am sorry to hear this, Laura!! I was afraid this was going to happen.

I don't mean any disrespect and if it sounds disrespectful, I apologize, but I do think that you humanize Max and the other dog a little too much. 9 out of 10 dogs will get aggressive when another dog enters their territory.

But it is funny that you say "it is not just my decision, this is his decision, too". My first words to the breeder when I was looking at Tuxedo, were, "Scooter is the one who has the last word". From there, I have learned that it is NOT the dog's decision and dogs are NOT our equal, we have to decide what is good for them. If we treat them as our equal and humanize them, it is a disaster in the making.

When Scooter and Tuxedo met for the first time, it was a disaster, they went at each other with a vengance. I was totally shocked! Scooter, my social butterfly who greeted EVERY dog at the dog park wiggling his butt, playing, running, who never got into a dog fight, who never fought back when other dogs picked on him, turned into a raging maniac. So I told the breeder that I couldn't do it and brought Tuxedo back. I told the breeder that Scooter just didn't like Tuxedo, I was looking for a playmate for Scooter and Scooter had spoken loud and clear.

However, I really liked Tuxedo, talked to the breeder again, read about how to introduce dogs, watched the shows about it and gave it another shot. This time around, I did not let them sniff each other or look at each other, took them both on a leash and for a 60 minute walk, one dog on each side. Well, it made all the difference.

Fast forward, now they are the biggest buddies, they sleep in a kennel together, they are almost joined together at the hip, Scooter goes where Tuxedo goes and vice versa. What I am trying to say, it rarely is all iddle sunshine when you introduce 2 dogs - puppy or adult, really doesn't matter.

Most dogs feel threatened when another dog enters their territory. It is up to the human (the pack leader) to make it clear to the dog that it is okay for the other dog to enter the territory and that that dog will be a member of the "pack". When we just leave it up to them, let them off the leash and let them at it, the original dog thinks the pack leader has gone for a nap and he/she needs to step up and defend the territory.

I am not trying to tell you what to do, I just think it would be a shame to give up so quickly. I know you don't have much time, but I do think it would be good for Max AND for you to have another dog. It may not look like it is any good but maybe you can give it at least this weekend.

Sorry this was so long-winded, I know what you are going through because I had the same thoughts. In retrospect, had I not had the breeder convince me to give it a second shot and give me another perspective, I would have missed out on one of the greatest dogs ever, Tuxedo!! And Scooter wouldn't have his beloved playmate.
 
Carola said it all PERFECTLY. I've had dogs ALL my life and have seen it all. Believe me, it will get better as time goes on. Rarely, dogs will really hate each other. You have two different sex so that helps a lot. I'd give it another week if I were you.

Thanks for writing this, Carola. You pretty much took the words out of my mouth. :)

Please give it a try, Laura. You wouldn't want Max to be Howard Hughes, would you? (bad joke, I know) :p

Lisa :)
 
LauraMax,

So sad to hear that Cherry isn't going to be staying with you.

When I got Lilly (my pug) last year, my other dog Lucy hated her. Lucy was five at the time and not a really aggressive dog but when Lilly came around her she growled, got up and disappeared. It took awhile but now they love each other, play tug-o-war with toys and love chasing each other on walks.

I think unless you get two at the very same time, there will be an adjustment period. Maybe you could keep them seperated until Max feels more comfortable having her around? In the long run I bet he would love her. Don't forget that dogs are very territorial.

I can't believe that pugs can be violent? I thought they didn't have an aggressive bone in their bodies?

Anyway good luck with whatever decision you come to.

Laura :D
 
Hey Laura,

You sure you are not giving up too quickly? They only had one meeting together. I would think for most dogs it would take a week or two to get used to one another. I would do what they say to do with dogs with everything it seems. Give him lots of his fav. treats when she's around and make it as much of an enjoyable experience as possible when they are together. One day is not enough time in my opinion.
 
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