Tough decision - advice? input? (long)

Wow. Nice.

Thanks for having compassion when I've repeatedly said that I'm completely torn up about this and I've been bawling my eyes out.
 
I'm not always nice, but I won't blow smoke up your ass and tell you something's okay if I don't think it is. You posted hoping that everyone would tell you it was a legitimate decision to get rid of a living being that you agreed to care for for life because she made your house smelly. I don't happen to agree that it is okay and I said so. So, you're right. I didn't show compassion to you, just to your cat.
 
I'm glad you can show compassion to a cat but not a human being.

You're right, a small part of me wants someone to tell me that I'm not the worst person in the world for considering giving her up. I think anyone would in my situation. I truly love my cat and I'm devastated at even having to consider this (which I have said repeatedly), but it goes beyond "just making my house smelly"-- it's unsanitary, it's disgusting, and I've spent hundreds of dollars and hours trying to fix the issue. It's not like I haven't made every possible effort that I can find on any cat forum on the entire Internet.

I never asked for anything to be blown anywhere, and if you had read my postings, you'd also see that I'm sincerely asking for SUGGESTIONS on how to deal with or resolve this matter. I notice your glaring lack of suggestions other than "just live in disgusting filth like I did". Somehow, I doubt anyone would find that helpful.

If you don't have any suggestions, then please stay off my thread. I'm looking for help, not judgment. I'm already involved in enough self-flagellation over this matter.

MC
 
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I had a kitty with that problem...

I had a cat (Boo) that missed the litter box. I took her to the vet and she had a urinary infection but the infection kept recurring. I finally isolated her from my other cats. She's very content not having to deal with my other pets and hasn't missed the litter box since going solo. She has her own room, food, water and litter box. It is wonderful not dealing with 'the smell' or cleanup anymore. There is also special food from the vet (or Purina has a variety) that might help.

It's odd but the cat that caused me grief was also outgoing. She's not afraid of dogs or the vacuum. She seems happier by herself. I'm thrilled because the solution was so simple.

Sandi
 
Sandi,

Thank you for the input! I'm taking Lola to the vet again in about 90 minutes, and I'll see if anything has changed since the last time, when they said she was 100% healthy. I find myself hoping that that is what it is!!

I'm not sure Lola would love being in a room by herself because she's very social and she FREAKS OUT whenever a door is closed-- doesn't matter what side of the door she's on. She howls and mewls and rattles and paws the door, whether she's closed in or closed out.

But I will definitely ask the vet if there is a wet food that might help. My cats are currently on dry food because they won't eat anything else (they'll go on a hunger strike for DAYS before eating wet food, usually), but maybe I can hold out long enough for them to give in and eat it.

Thank you very sincerely for the suggestions!

MC
 
The cat food comes in dry or canned options.

Hi again!

The food comes in dry or canned and it's by Science Diet. Has the vet taken an x-ray to show any stones or tumors?

I can understand your frustration and hope you can find a solution. Isolating 'Boo' worked and I was thrilled not to have to consider the 'other' options. Hugs to you.

Sandi

Sandi,

Thank you for the input! I'm taking Lola to the vet again in about 90 minutes, and I'll see if anything has changed since the last time, when they said she was 100% healthy. I find myself hoping that that is what it is!!

I'm not sure Lola would love being in a room by herself because she's very social and she FREAKS OUT whenever a door is closed-- doesn't matter what side of the door she's on. She howls and mewls and rattles and paws the door, whether she's closed in or closed out.

But I will definitely ask the vet if there is a wet food that might help. My cats are currently on dry food because they won't eat anything else (they'll go on a hunger strike for DAYS before eating wet food, usually), but maybe I can hold out long enough for them to give in and eat it.

Thank you very sincerely for the suggestions!

MC
 
When I took her to the vet in November for her yearly checkup (about 5-6 months after the peeing had started again), they took X-rays, did bloodwork, and they drew a sample from her bladder. Everything came back totally clean, which on the one hand was a relief (she was healthy!) but on the other hand indicated that the peeing problem was behavioral and far harder to fix.

I'm taking her again today, and I plan on asking for any and all tests to be run on her, because if there is something medically wrong that could be fixed and make this whole awful problem disappear, that would be the most ideal situation.

Thank you for the cat food name, the suggestion, and the hugs. I'm feeling awfully beat up about this matter. :(
 
Here's a pic of her. She's so cute... I desperately want to find a resolution to this problem!!
 

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MC - If none of the above works for her, I think I would look into rehoming her. Finding another home where she might actually be happy is not a one way ticket to hell for you. Sometimes we just are not the owners a particular animal needs. I don't understand why people get so riled at the idea of rehoming an animal. As long as everyone is happy in the end it's all good. Now just dumping them at a shelter and expecting someone else to deal with it is another thing. I do think as a pet owner we have to take more responsibility than that. It's sounds like you have gone above and beyond for her. My DH would have made me relocate her long ago.
 
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I'm so sorry about your kitty problem. Lets see what the vet says and perhaps her eating a different kind of food. Who knows.

You have done way beyond what I would have done. Like someone here said, life is just way too short to put up with all of this for that length of time.

I too love my kitties, (we have two) and never experienced what you have. My male cat did pee all around our house and seemed to not be able to satisfy his thirst for water, for a week or so, until I took him to the vet and found out he is diabetic. Now he gets two shots a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Magically he was cured from peeing in the house and over drinking water.

That being said, I have to take my hat off to you for being such a trooper for your kitty. But, sometimes enough is enough and it's time to let go. If there is no reason behind this and you have tried everything (which I believe you have) it really is time to let go. Let us know what the vet says and your decision on what you will do next.

It's OK to let go, you need to know this. Of course you will be sad about it. I wouldn't want my future children to have to experience tension, bad smells...and of course you want a clean home. It's healthy.

Be healthy emotionally and physically however means you can get there.;)

(((((Many HUGS))))) to you and prayers for you, to make the decision you can live with.

Be strong,

Janie
 
MC,

I think I've read most of the posts on this thread and I may have a couple of suggestions for you to try based on what I've read (and if I'm correctly understanding your situation).

First of all, I absolutely agree with a medical work-up. Things like idiopathic cystitis, UTI's, bladder stones, kidney disease, etc. can all be medical reasons that would make a cat urinate out of the litter box. Even if tests were okay six months ago, things could have changed since then. I think you have to rule out all medical causes first, and then if everything checks out okay, then most likely you're dealing with a behavior problem.

There are a few things in the history that makes me lean toward a behavioral problem. If I'm understanding your post, the problem first started when you introduced the dogs to your home and then started again when you moved. Those can both be pretty big causes of stress for cats. Some cats handle different stressors well, and some don't. The other thing that makes me lean toward behavioral issues is the location of the inappropriate urination. Usually if there's a medical problem, the cat is uncomfortable (likely has a burning or irritated sensation) and has the urge to go NOW - wherever they may be at the time. So the urine shows up in random places. With behavioral issues, the cat is more likely to use the same location(s) each time and is less likely to go in random areas. That's not a hard and fast rule though - not every cat reads the text books :)

When behavior plays in to it, you have to try to look at your house/environment from your cat's point of view - especially when you have more than one pet in the house. You want to make sure that your cat doesn't have to compete for any resources - litter boxes, food, water, resting places, attention, etc. Say for instance that 2 cats in the same house don't get along (which isn't your case, but it's an example). If cat A is afraid of cat B, but has to share litter boxes with B or even walk past B to get to a litter box, then cat A may choose to not use the litter box at all and go elsewhere just to avoid cat B. Does that make sense? (This is so much easier to explain in person than to type out - I feel like I'm doing a bad job here). So basically what you have to do is make sure there are plenty of resources around for each cat/pet, so that no one has to compete with anyone else. The current recommendation regarding litter boxes is to have 1 in the house for every cat that you have + 1. So if you have 2 cats, you should have 3 litter boxes. You also want to space them out throughout the house, so that if one cat is in the basement, your other cat can use a box in a different area of the house. You don't want to have 3 litter boxes lined up together in the same room - the cats will actually just view that as 1 big box instead of 3 separate boxes. I tend to think it's a good idea to give finicky cats choices too - maybe try a new litter in on of the boxes, or if you used covered boxes, get one that is uncovered.

Basically, cats don't urinate inappropriately to be vindictive, but they are trying to get your attention to say that they're unhappy about something. It's your job to try to figure out what she's unhappy about. I'm guessing the dogs upset her at one time, and moving may have been the trigger this time. Try to make sure she gets lots of love and attention (if that's what she likes) and make sure she doesn't have to compete with any other pet for resources. As a last resort, you may want to ask your vet about anti-anxiety medications. Some cats tolerate prozac well and valium has been used in other cats. It wouldn't hurt to ask your vet about it. You have to use medications in combination with reducing stress around the house though - medication alone may not always help.

Also, there's a good website called the Indoor Cat Initiative that speaks to some of these issues. There's even a link that tells you how to clean up cat urine from different surfaces - it's under the link for Problem Solving. The web address is www.vet.ohio-state.edu/indoorcat.htm or you can google "indoor cat initiative".

My advice isn't perfect - I'm not a behaviorist in any way. Some people/cats find this helpful, so I thought I'd share it with you. Good luck - I know you're in a tough situation.

Sincerely,
Carrie
 
MC

We have had this problem. We have 4 full time cats (indoor/outdoor) and our son brings his cat home on school breaks. When the 5th cat moves in, the peeing begins.

What has worked for us? 1. We separate the 5th cat from the rest of cats. 2. We clean soiled areas with a product called Nature's Miracle Extra Strength. 3. We use Feliway plug ins and the spray. The plug ins have to be replaced every 4 weeks. (expensive, unfortunately) 5. We pay special attention to our "full time kitties" 6. We do not let any cats in our unfinished basement areas.

Knock-on-wood for now the problem is in check.
But, when DH returns at Thanksgiving with his kitty, it will likely happen again.

Let us know how it goes. I am very sorry this is happening in your home (either one)
 
MC,

I think I've read most of the posts on this thread and I may have a couple of suggestions for you to try based on what I've read (and if I'm correctly understanding your situation).

First of all, I absolutely agree with a medical work-up. Things like idiopathic cystitis, UTI's, bladder stones, kidney disease, etc. can all be medical reasons that would make a cat urinate out of the litter box. Even if tests were okay six months ago, things could have changed since then. I think you have to rule out all medical causes first, and then if everything checks out okay, then most likely you're dealing with a behavior problem.

There are a few things in the history that makes me lean toward a behavioral problem. If I'm understanding your post, the problem first started when you introduced the dogs to your home and then started again when you moved. Those can both be pretty big causes of stress for cats. Some cats handle different stressors well, and some don't. The other thing that makes me lean toward behavioral issues is the location of the inappropriate urination. Usually if there's a medical problem, the cat is uncomfortable (likely has a burning or irritated sensation) and has the urge to go NOW - wherever they may be at the time. So the urine shows up in random places. With behavioral issues, the cat is more likely to use the same location(s) each time and is less likely to go in random areas. That's not a hard and fast rule though - not every cat reads the text books :)

When behavior plays in to it, you have to try to look at your house/environment from your cat's point of view - especially when you have more than one pet in the house. You want to make sure that your cat doesn't have to compete for any resources - litter boxes, food, water, resting places, attention, etc. Say for instance that 2 cats in the same house don't get along (which isn't your case, but it's an example). If cat A is afraid of cat B, but has to share litter boxes with B or even walk past B to get to a litter box, then cat A may choose to not use the litter box at all and go elsewhere just to avoid cat B. Does that make sense? (This is so much easier to explain in person than to type out - I feel like I'm doing a bad job here). So basically what you have to do is make sure there are plenty of resources around for each cat/pet, so that no one has to compete with anyone else. The current recommendation regarding litter boxes is to have 1 in the house for every cat that you have + 1. So if you have 2 cats, you should have 3 litter boxes. You also want to space them out throughout the house, so that if one cat is in the basement, your other cat can use a box in a different area of the house. You don't want to have 3 litter boxes lined up together in the same room - the cats will actually just view that as 1 big box instead of 3 separate boxes. I tend to think it's a good idea to give finicky cats choices too - maybe try a new litter in on of the boxes, or if you used covered boxes, get one that is uncovered.

Basically, cats don't urinate inappropriately to be vindictive, but they are trying to get your attention to say that they're unhappy about something. It's your job to try to figure out what she's unhappy about. I'm guessing the dogs upset her at one time, and moving may have been the trigger this time. Try to make sure she gets lots of love and attention (if that's what she likes) and make sure she doesn't have to compete with any other pet for resources. As a last resort, you may want to ask your vet about anti-anxiety medications. Some cats tolerate prozac well and valium has been used in other cats. It wouldn't hurt to ask your vet about it. You have to use medications in combination with reducing stress around the house though - medication alone may not always help.

Also, there's a good website called the Indoor Cat Initiative that speaks to some of these issues. There's even a link that tells you how to clean up cat urine from different surfaces - it's under the link for Problem Solving. The web address is www.vet.ohio-state.edu/indoorcat.htm or you can google "indoor cat initiative".

My advice isn't perfect - I'm not a behaviorist in any way. Some people/cats find this helpful, so I thought I'd share it with you. Good luck - I know you're in a tough situation.

Sincerely,
Carrie

Great post Carrie!!!!!
 
I totally agree with everything Carrie said, and she explained it very well. You really have done a LOT, and I understand your frustration. Feline inappropriate elimination is one of the most frustrating things we vets come across - and I know it's magnified ten fold for my clients.

I would encourage you to visit the website Carrie mentioned - enriching their environment can be instrumental in the success of getting these cats over the hump. I also would not totally discount the use of anxiolytics. It's not going to hurt and if it helps, well then great! Add the extra litter pan, try a different type of litter, try a covered vs. uncovered litter pan....these are all things to try.

If you done everything you can and she's still having issues, try placing her in a home..the only difficult issue here is that, similar to taking her to the humane society, you may never know her outcome/whereabouts. I also have some difficulty with "making this someone else's problem", like you said. It's not fair to the new owners, and it's not fair to her. I will tell you that I have discussed this issue with clients at LENGTH, and quite honestly, I'd rather euthanize a cat in the arms of their familiar loved ones then think how much stress they'd endure in the strangeness of a humane society, a foreign place....just to be euthanized by strangers or worse - let outside and then hit by a car..do you get where I'm coming from?

Give the anxiety meds a try and visit that website - try to enrich her environment a little more. If those things don't help, you may not be able to help her. It's a sad reality, but a reality I see way too often. Don't let others bully you or make you feel bad. It's obvious you love her and are doing everything you can.

Hang in there,
Heidi
 
Thank you all so much for the suggestions!!!

I actually purchased 4 brand new litter boxes today based on the suggestions here; 2 to replace my older ones (I read sometimes they can hold on to odors and offend cats' sensitive noses) and 2 additional ones. I read that I should put at least one near where she regularly pees inappropriately, so I'm trying that. All 4 boxes are large and uncovered and I'm using unscented litter covered by a layer of "Cat Attract" (which I was using before, but maybe it'll help this time).

She gets along great with the other cat and is actually the more dominant one in the relationship (my other cat is one of the typical skittish and wimpy varieties), so I don't see them as competing for resources, but I'll up everything (food, water, affection time, treats, etc.) and see if that helps. I bought her a new "climbing thingie" (no idea what they're called) for cats yesterday-- $170!-- and some new toys and she seems to like it so hopefully that'll hold her attention more than peeing in the corner does!

I did take her to the vet yesterday but I'm going to have to do it again tomorrow because Lola needs to be sedated in order for them to draw urine from her bladder and they have to be able to observe her for several hours afterward and they were closing in like 30 mins. They're doing a whole blood panel to see if there are any unusual readings or signs of infection. The vet is open to trying anti-anxiety meds if the tests all come back fine, which I'm 100% on board with trying. I'll update this thread with any new info.

I cannot thank you all enough for being so empathetic about this crappy situation. It means so much to me that you guys are taking the time to respond with suggestions and encouragement because this whole thing has just really torn me up inside; I do love this cat, and I do feel like I owe it to her to do absolutely everything under the sun to try to fix this issue for both of us. THANK YOU!! I'm trying all of this new stuff in hopes that she cooperates!

MC
 
Heidi,

Thank you so much for your reply; it means a lot having a vet (and the other cat owners out there!) validate what I'm feeling.

I'm giving a few more things a try... DH and I talked about it and I don't think we could ever euthanize her, so I'm just going back to the drawing board to see if there's anything else we can do. Our very last-ditch option would be to rehome her, but it would have to be under the condition that they'd return her before giving her away or putting her down.

For now, though, we're trying the few last things we haven't tried and keeping our fingers crossed. I'll let you guys know what the vet says when the results come back.

Thank you!!
 
MC,

I had the same problem with one of my male cats years ago, and it ended up being a urinary tract infection (which has already been ruled out in your kitty). But in the meantime, two things that really helped while he was getting better:

1. Hydrogen peroxide!! Not sure how well it will work on the cement, but it worked wonders on my carpet. I'm don't know the scientific reasons, but I didn't really care!! Soak the spot really well with the hydrogen peroxide and throw an old towel over it (I used to leave it overnight). The next day, the towel will have soaked up most of the smell. You may have to do it a couple of times, but it really works, and it relatively cheap!!
2. Tin foil. We put tinfoil over the spots where he liked to go. Something about either the noise or texture, or both, really bothered him-enough to leave the spot alone.

Not sure if either of these will help, but it's worth a shot! You've got some great suggestions from others as well. I hope you find a solution that works for your family!! Sending kitty ((hugs))!
 
Oh my goodness! I had the EXACT same problem, I kid you not. Only my cats were a lot younger! They were NOT even 1 year old, had them spayed...2 GIRL CATS. They were SOOO good about using the littler box and for some reason, one day...THEY WERE SPRAYING LIKE MALE CATS ALL OVER.

I was so upset, just as yourself, I spanked them on the bottom, I cleaned the litter box 2 or 3 times DAILY, and for some reason they still felt the need to SPRAY EVERYWHERE AND PEE ON MY BED!!

So, I couldn't take it, I thought spaying them would KEEP them from doing it, apparently not...

However the case was, I could NOT take it anymore because my place TOO was beginning to smell HORRIBLE! I was CRYING my head off, but I gave them to the SPCA....

I just couldn't take it anymore, so I don't blame you for feeling like you do. It's not your fault and well, I guess sometimes something happens to animals that you just CANT CHANGE OR CONTROL.

Sorry hun, I say, give them away, you'll be sad but so relieved and at least your house won't REAK any longer! =)
 
My cat Mandy (who is now passed away) would pee outside of the box (but not poo outside of the box), and I can empathize with how frustrating and hearwrenching the situation can be. While I was trying to find a solution, and would come across some laundry that she had peed on (but very diligently covered up, so I didn't smell it until I picked it up) I often got so frustrated I was brought to tears. I once rolled up a magazine (don't jump to conclusions, folks!) and whacked the basement stairs with it while swearing to high heaven out of frustration.

Then I started thinking that since she was pooing in the pan (but not covering) and she was covering up her pee (with clothing or rugs), she knew what to do, but for some reason wasn't doing it. I surmised that because she was front declawed (something I would NEVER do to a cat, but the person who had adopted her and then brought her back to the shelter---I think I know why, now--had done) perhaps trying to cover pee with the litter was uncomfortable for her.

I first tried Cat Attract, which seemed to work some, but since I had 5 cats at the time, they were all using it, and it was getting pricey.

I then decided to try setting a smaller litter box up just for her (they are all in the basement, where I have the room). I bought a half-dozen cheap white bath towels at Walmart, then put them folded, two-at-a-time in the pan.

Problem solved: Mandy very diligently used the pan with her "pee-pee towels" in, folding them over carefully to cover her mess. And I just had to toss them in the washing machine (which was close by) once a day to clean and change towels. Kind of like "cat diapers," I suppose! The urine usually didn't even make it though to the second towel.

I'm not sure if something like this would work in your case, but it goes to show that when given the right circumstances, problem cats can "do the right thing" (Poor Mandy, she was trying to do her best the whole time, and I was too slow to figure out the problem.

It's essential to get the odor out. Anti Icky Poo is one product that can work when other things don't (it's used to remove the odor of dead bodies, among other biological odors).
 

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