Too thin?

wendybdh

wendybdh

Cathlete
Hi everyone! I know it's been a while (Brooke is 10 months now:)) since I've posted but something happened to me today that is really bothering me.

Saturday we went to a party at a friends house with quite a few coworkers. Today I had two of them tell me that their husbands think that I am "borderline not looking good" and "too thin." I'm 5'10 and 144 pounds. I was feeling really proud of myself until today that I lost all my pregnancy weight and then some. I've always battled my weight and I finally thought I was looking pretty decent. So, to hear those comments really bothers me. I was basically speechless.

I'd just like to know how do you know if you're too thin? I really don't think I am.
 
Hi Wendy.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and ask if it's possible that these women are jealous of you and therefore making this up to get your goat???

What does your husband think? Obviously YOU are happy with how you look.

Blow it off is what I say!:)
 
Hey Wendy,

First, great job on the weight loss! I can feel your pain with the baby lbs! They are really hard to loose!

I am the same height and weight as you. I was 140 lbs before I got preggo with my DD last year (born 11-8-05) and even at that weight I still wore a size 6-8. I don't know how you carry your weight, I am pear shape so at 144 it is not too thin. I went through a battle with weight watchers due to the fact they said I had to weigh between 148-170 lbs to be considered "healthy".
If you feel good and you are eating enough and working out then I would not let that comment bug you.

I think the comment was silly.

Hope that helps!
Jana
 
I really don't think jealousy motivates such comments. I've gotten them myself in the past.

I think not understanding weight loss and fitness is more of a motivator for some people to make negative comments than anything else. I once had a friend who sent me an article about anorexia because I told her on the phone that I had a hard time keeping my weight up to a good level. She didn't bother to realize that I am very healthy, eat like a horse and am way more fit and active than most. She just automatically assumed something without facts to back it up.

I sure wouldn't give any of those people the power to make me feel bad if I were you. It sounds like you have done a geat job of getting your weight down, and I am sure you look fabulous. Rejoice in how great you look and ignore the nay sayers! :)
 
Hopefully you mentioned to these women how terribly unattractive you found their spouses :). My goodness how terribly rude to say such a thing to you. Do you actually value the opinion of people with so few manners?



KIM
 
{{{I think not understanding weight loss and fitness is more of a motivator for some people to make negative comments than anything else. I once had a friend who sent me an article about anorexia because I told her on the phone that I had a hard time keeping my weight up to a good level. She didn't bother to realize that I am very healthy, eat like a horse and am way more fit and active than most. She just automatically assumed something without facts to back it up.}}}

I so agreed w/ this statement! We are so conditioned to seeing/labeling people as "fat" or "thin" that we really don't know what fit looks like. People assume if you are bigger that you are unhealthy when in actuality you could be extremely healthy & fit just like some think thin means fit or anorexia.... The truth is all our bodies repond / look differently to extreme fitness (aka Cathe)..
I guess I would say that as long as you know you are healthy just be happy & proud... the world will always find something to judge us on...its their issue not yours!
 
Hi Wendy,
I agree with the other comments you've gotten. As long as you feel healthy and not too thin (weak, tired, fatigued, etc.) then see it as your opportunity to educate them about you.

"Actually I feel great. Thank you for being concerned, but I have been really paying attention to eating healthy and it's paying off for me."

I had a friend a few years ago tell me I looked anorexic. Which I am not and I don't look too thin. Now with years past from that hurtful comment, I realize she was really saying something about how she felt about herself when she is around me. "You are so careful about what you eat," she said and says. And now I see it as her trying to reconcile her own frustrations with how she eats and how she feels about herself.

I think kids experience this too from other kids: when you accomplish something, sometimes people don't react supportively and it's upsetting.

I hope Mattea (Saia) reads this. She is great with coming up with comments to boost self esteem around others without sounding like you are bragging. But you must hold firm to that good feeling about yourself. I relate to how hard that can be at times.

-Barb
:) :) :)
 
I'm with Wendy. I'd say they are jealous. Some people have their insecurities about themselves and make comments like that to make themselves feel better without even realizing how it sounds or makes them look.

As long as you're feeling good, that's all that matters!

Kali

www.PictureTrail.com/kkali
 
I personally think it's the jealousy thing. Passive-aggressive types often attribute their own snarky comments to others (i.e. "My husband says thus-and-so . . .") instead of taking responsibility for their own snarkiness. You've got a wonderful new daughter AND you've got your figure back in an exceedingly healthy way - you've robbed your snarky co-workers of the "tut-tut-tut - still carrying the baby weight" comments. That probably ticks them off no end.

It never ceases to amaze me that people feel they have the right to make pointed comments about others' physiques. When did a person's body type become the fuel for even the most casual conversation?!

A-Jock
 
Total jealousy I would say. Their husbands probably said, Wow, doesn't Wendy look great and the women got bent out of shape.

Ignore them and chalk it up to lack of manners and petty jealousy!!

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
Wendy~

Congrats on your weight loss! I agree w/ the earlier comment that every person carries weight differently. There's a good possibility that the wives are jealous of your new look. There's also the possibility that the guys - being guys - just said what they thought, which sounds to me like they just think you shouldn't lose any more.

One of my friends is about the same height and weight as you are since she lost 30 lbs in the past year. She recently received similar comments from a couple of our guy friends that she should watch out bc she was starting to get a little "too skinny." I know they weren't trying to be hurtful, just making an observation. She asked her doctor about it, and he actually confirmed that she was at the minimum weight she should be for good health.

So, I'd say if you're really not sure if you're too thin, I would ask your husband and/or a close friend for a second opinion and then ask your doctor.

-cathy


http://www.picturetrail.com/uid6081278
 
Well, your weight sounds perfect.
Don't let them get you down...
If you like your body then you are great with it. When your bones and ribs are sticking out and you can see your skeletal bones all over , that is too thin.
I am asuming you are a more muscular build and musle weighs more than fat, so you are smaller than the average 144 lb person.
I would blow them off. They are jealous that you look so darn good....
Why are their DH looking at you and not them?????
Anne

http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
 
That's cause all their own wives are fat!!! Wow that was mean. But anyways congradulations on your acomplishment. You should be so proud of yourself. NOt many people have the dedication to do what you did so yeah those wives are big time jealous.
 
Hi Wendy,


I recently had a similar experience as you and it was a man that said I was to thin so I asked my
boyfriend and a close friend and insisted that they give me an
honest answer. They both said, not to thin and I look good.
Which is what I had been hearing from a lot of friends and
co-workers, that I looked great or looked fit. Congratulations
on your weight loss and keep up the good work.
 
I'm just about your height, perhaps a tiny bit taller, and I'd have to say your weight sounds pretty good. I weighed 135 right before I got married (about a million years ago) and that was way too thin for me. 144 sounds perfect.

They were unbelievably rude comments, by the way, as though what someone else's husband had to say about you has any relevance at all.

Take Care,
Shelbygirl
 
Hi Wendy,

First of all, congrats on your success at meeting your goal! Here is a possible scenario for what transpired between the women and their husbands:

Wife: (with a bit of envy in her heart) Did you see how thin Wendy was?

Husband: (with a desire not to anger his wife in the mine-field of the women's weight issue) Yeah, she doesn't look so good though.

Maybe these guys, who really admired your shape if they even noticed (some men don't), have learned how to say things that will allow them to stay married! The wives should have kept the comments to themselves though. What's the point of telling you what they did? Oh well.

Just a thought,
Paula
 
I think this is something many of us struggle with. Because we diet & exercise, we are "slim," "slender,", "thin." (I hate the word skinny, it's too much like the word fat) I hear all the time from people, "why don't you eat?" Which is so stupid b/c I eat like a horse--usually when I go out to eat with someone for the first time they're shocked at how much food I can put away.

I also agree it's based in jealousy. I have friends that actually try to discourage me from exercising and/or dieting ("let's go out for a drink, it won't kill you to miss one workout," "oh just go ahead & eat the french fries, it won't kill you to cheat on your diet just this once"). In some ways I think it makes them feel better to have company in their lack of discipline.

Bottom line, you've worked incredibly hard & had fantastic results. You should be very proud! Don't listen to these people--no one will ever really know why they're being negative, but if you feel good about yourself then just tell them to go scratch. }(
 
>Hi Wendy,
>
>First of all, congrats on your success at meeting your goal!
>Here is a possible scenario for what transpired between the
>women and their husbands:
>
>Wife: (with a bit of envy in her heart) Did you see how thin
>Wendy was?
>
>Husband: (with a desire not to anger his wife in the
>mine-field of the women's weight issue) Yeah, she doesn't look
>so good though.
>
>Maybe these guys, who really admired your shape if they even
>noticed (some men don't), have learned how to say things that
>will allow them to stay married! The wives should have kept
>the comments to themselves though. What's the point of telling
>you what they did? Oh well.
>
>Just a thought,
>Paula


I picture this is what happened as well. Some Husbands have learned what to say and what not to say when it concerns their wives comparing themselves to other women. They play it safe.:D And the women are just catty enough to tell you what they said (exaggerated I'm sure) to hurt you. Stick to your guns and stay the weight you are. That will pi$$ em off. }(
 
Oh how rude!! You know, this just supports my theory that women are, in fact, the nastiest creatures on earth. You have to wonder--what was their purpose in telling you what their husbands think about your figure? My DH NEVER brings up such things--NEVER!

Honestly, I think women like that are evil. I wouldn't be too certain that their husbands even said anything at all. They probably just told you that so you wouldn't be mad at them. I say ignore them. They're probably jealous.
 
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