Thinking about loosening up (long)

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
I've been having some thoughts lately, and I wanted to see what you guys think.

Let me start with the basics: I will turn 50 early next year. I am one of the minority of people on these boards (we had a poll once) who is much better at controlling her eating than at controlling her exercising. I mean, if I exercise 2-3 times per week, I feel I've done very well. I've spent the last 20+ years more or less at my ideal weight, primarily by controlling my eating.

I am a foodie. By that I mean that I am someone who enjoys almost every kind of food there is. My list of disliked foods includes liver, headcheese and perhaps a few other organ meats, and that's it. To me, the greatest enjoyment in life comes from trying out a new restaurant or a new kind of food. Simply put, there is nothing in life I enjoy more than eating fabulous food and wine.

There is now a little voice in the back of my head that is starting to ask why I don't start to let loose a little more. I'm beginning to think that I'm experiencing the idea of being 50 as.......a bit of a relief. Won't being 50 earn me the right to be myself a little bit more? To start to do more of the things that I really love the most? As a trusts and estates attorney, I have seen far too many people die prematurely. Look at poor Janice's father. He is only 60 years old! In my practice, I have seen that there is just no predicting how many years we have on this earth.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Okay, maybe if I were in the fashion industry or if I were a nutritionist or something I would have to stay slim forever. But does anyone really care how slim their lawyer is?

I not talking about going out and wasting calories on fried dough (eeewww). I am who I am. I would rather have a piece of broiled fish and grilled veggies over prime rib and buttered potatoes any day of the week. I really do prefer the flavor of olive oil to butter, and that's not going to change. Maybe I'm not even talking about a change in my body so much as I'm talking about a change in my way of thinking. Thinking more about taking pleasure in life instead of always worrying about what size I am.


You know what I mean? It's just a germ of an idea, but what do you think?

Thanks for your input, ladies!

-Nancy the Elder
 
I can relate, although not so much to the age thing. Seeing my father in law die on the dance floor really has changed some things for me. You never know when you're going to be done.

What keeps me exercising is the fun I have while exercising and watching myself grow STRONGER. I'm a foodie too, although I have a few more things on my list beyond head cheese (lol Nancy)!! I enjoy occasionally striking a balance between enjoying (and I mean ENJOYING) food and exercising.

I think loosening up is always a good idea, although my concern for you at this point would be your clothes!!! I'd hate to see "loosening up" turn into "dear lord none of my pants fit". Taking pleasure in life should absolutely be a goal at any age, and 50 is high time to put that in action for yourself. Caution, though, that 50 is nowhere near "the end". The flip side to Janice's father is that you could live until you're 95. I just don't want you to "loosen up" at 50, end up regretting it at 60, and living with that regret for another 35 years.

Obviously, no conclusions here, just more opinions/thoughts...
 
I can see where you are comming from, even though you are ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT older then me:7 :7 :7 Im just teasing!!!! You look awesome and not a day over 40:) Did I make up for my earlier comment?? hahaha

I can see where you are comming from b/c about 3 yrs ago, I thought the same.I had started back at fitness and watching my weight, after I spent a few monthes in collage and really gained the freshmen 15.
But it got to the point where I wan't enjoying life anymore.I wouldn't go certain places b/c of the food that was going to be around,I was constintly comparing myself to others and if there was a spare minute in my day..I was working out.Sure I was slim and happy with my weight but there was another side of me that wasn't happy and I thought she needed to losen up to.
I am happier now and I am also 7 lbs heavierx( I still exercise of course but if I go to a party and there is something there that I want to eat, I will eat it. If I want to have a drink, I will.I have come to terms with the fact that I am not going to be on the cover of a magazine hahaha.But if we eat good 85% of the time and give our body the nutrients it needs, then why can't we indulge in a piece of cheesecake without beating ourselves up over it?
Life is to short, there is no doubt about that. And we have to make sure that we live life the best way we know how, by treating ourselves and others nicely!
Lori:)
 
Nancy, as a fellow 50-year old, I applaud your ideas of loosening up on yourself. I have to warn you though, that it is easier said then done. I have tried for the last 10 -15 years to not be so hung up on weight and how I look. I've never been at my ideal weight for longer than 15 minutes at a time. I'm usually any where from 10 to 20 pounds heavier than I'd like. After fussing and worrying about this issue for 25 years, it's not an easy mindset to lose. I think your idea is a good one, but it may a little harder to adjust to then you think. Just my opinion. Good luck and best wishes for the "new" you.
PS I happen to enjoy the old you and your posts, so don't change too much.
 
"My list of disliked foods includes liver, headcheese and perhaps a few other organ meats, and that's it. "

LOL!!!

I think you are saying that life is short so why deny yourself something you love if it ain't gonna kill ya. My DH has that attitude. I am verrrrrry strict with my eating/workout habits and he does just enough to stay healthy. I must say that he's much more laid back than I am and things (except his job) just roll right off of him. He is one of the most content people I have ever known. I personally don't want to let up on myself because I get satisfaction from the results of my hard work and self denial! However, I have a great deal of respect for people who don't take life so dang seriously all the time.

I may be way off track here so forgive my rambling if I am!
 
Nancy, I am not turning 50 but know right where you are coming from. I know some will disagree but I think there is nothing wrong with loosening up on yourself. After all, how far will you go from where you are now? If you've been a healthy/fit person for a number of years than those habits are probably more ingrained than you think; you are not suddenly going to do a faceplant into trough full of strawberry shortcake and suck it all down! My guess is the change in your actual food intake will be minor; what will happen though is that when you do eat something that was previously a no no, you won't beat yourself up or waste energy on feeling guilty. If you can do that, I think it's great. And, as I said in another post, I think the anxiety we put ourselves through over two cookies here or a serving of fettucine there does more internal damage than those "bad" foods.

On a personal note, I decided to loosen up at bit after my vacation in October. I feel so much happier now, not always stressing about this food and that, 24/7. My weight and fitness level have not changed one iota. And, I've been having this weird sensation of actually liking my body!

Anyway, sorry so long. I say, DO IT!

Sparrow
 
Hi Nancy (The Elder?? not even my dear:) )

I'm really liking what I'm reading here, Nancy. I do believe it is more a mind-set rather than age thing. You are very health conscious, so you will still eat healthy foods. And two/three days per week of exercise has done well with you.

Remember last weekend...your lost Sudoku weekend? haha That was loosening up on yourself as you were not feeling so great and decided not to push yourself, wasn't it?

I know for myself, as a trainer, I cannot maintain that trainer image (think Jillian on Biggest Loser or god forbid Cathe). I'm in good shape and work very hard, but I can't walk around everyday looking like I'm ready for a fitness competition. And I know some people expect that from a trainer. I know I'm not the trainer for them and that's okay. I'm in the best shape that's possible for me.

However, you are a brilliant, beautiful, witty woman who is a successful attorney. I have complete trust in you that if you feel like loosening up a bit, then I believe you have good reason to feel that way.

Life is short. And most of us here are very, very strict and disciplined with ourselves. It's a choice that we make. I do it for personal reasons but must do it for professional reasons as well.

Try it out for a bit and see how you feel. I bet you will still be the same size and maybe a bit more relaxed.

I've got every faith in you GIRL!!
 
Hi Nancy - I'm right there with you. I turned 52 this October. Like you, I love food. Nothing excites me more than trying new foods and wines. I can sit and read cookbooks or wathc the food channel for hours!I grew up in an Italian household. My mother was a wonderful cook and I learned so much from her. She was all about food, family, friends and she was the most wonderful person I've ever known. I love to entertain (just like her) and I admit I am not a clean eater. I believe good food was put on this earth to enjoy. I've been to Europe 5 times and highlights of those trips were eating so many wonderful foods. I'm not overweight, but I'm not really cut and muscular. However, I am happy with the way I look and feel. I usually exercise 5-6 days per week mostly so I can enjoy good food and wine.

Something last night really put things in perspective for me. My cousin's 48 year old wife died last night after a 3 yr. battle with breast cancer. She was very similar to me in that she was a gourmet cook (and a big eater) and went to the gym 4 days per week. I doubt she's in heaven thinking she should have eaten more egg whites.

Not that I have anything against people doing that. It's just not my lifestyle. Enjoy your 50th year and enjoy life!

Mar



http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=8019309&uid=3879914&members=1:9
 
I am all for moderation. I have been on both sides of the eating spectrum--eating so little I made myself sick, and out of control noshing on everything in the house. I'm far happier with a more balanced approach. I won't ever give up healthy eating--I'm pretty fanatic about getting plenty of fruits and veggies, and I just don't like fatty or fried foods or junk foods so much that I would make them the mainstay of my diet. On the other hand, I have a piece of chocolate or a cookie after lunch every day, and I have dessert every night after dinner. If I want a burger and fries, I have a burger and fries; if I want pizza, I get pizza and add veggies and a salad to it.

No, I'm not cut like Cathe, but I'm also not spending my time obsessing about calories and worrying about what I'm going to eat if I go out to dinner with friends (which I used to do when I really restricted my eating). I let myself eat what I want for the most part, and most of the time I make healthy choices. Funny thing is, this Thanksgiving my sister-in-law served the usual half dozen choices of desserts. I tasted every one of them, and didn't like any of them--they were too sweet or too creamy or just not appealing, which is funny because those were the same desserts I used to binge on not many years ago. I even took home 2 slices of my favorite cake, and wound up throwing it out a few days later. So for me at least, being less restrictive is the best balance.
 
Hi Nancy -

You know, I look at thin older women...not us (lol), I mean "older" women, and I often think that they need to add a few pounds on to their frame. I see many older women running around Manhattan and they just don't look that good. (You know the ones I mean, look around.) Their skin definitely looks alot more wrinkled and shriveled than their slightly heavier peers. Another thought is my own mother just went through an illness and lost 30 lbs. Had she not had that 30 lbs. to play with, she may have died.

I also often think that since good food is such an enjoyable part of our lives, we need to "loosen up" about our food choices. My husband always bothers me about this. We go to restaurants and, inevitably, I'll be picking at what he has ordered because that's what I "really wanted".

With that being said, I don't think I could stand myself much heavier than I am now. I just wouldn't be happy and probably would be downright miserable. What's a girl to do? I do splurge at times but I still deprive myself more than not.

I don't know....I struggle with this issue everyday.x(

I should add that even though my husband eats exactly what he wants at "most times", he's not heavy at all. I, for the most part, serve healthy options, and at the other times he doesn't deprive himself. There's a happy medium out there somewhere. (or is there?)

P.S. I almost ALWAYS love your topics!:)
 
By the way, we're leaving for dinner right now. Will I "loosen up"?
We'll see..................lol. I'll be back later.
 
>Hi Nancy (The Elder?? not even my dear:) )
>
>I know for myself, as a trainer, I cannot maintain that
>trainer image (think Jillian on Biggest Loser or god forbid
>Cathe). I'm in good shape and work very hard, but I can't
>walk around everyday looking like I'm ready for a fitness
>competition. And I know some people expect that from a
>trainer. I know I'm not the trainer for them and that's okay.
> I'm in the best shape that's possible for me.
>
I don't want to hijack Nancy's thread, but I just wanted to say, you don't know how great it is to hear a fitness trainer say that!! I actually studied the fitness training program through ACE, but never practiced for that very reason. I just couldn't keep up with the ideals I saw in the fitness world. After some sleepless nights I decided that for my own sanity it wasn't the profession for me, no matter how much I actually loved the info. Good for you!

I beginning to think that the "super fit chick" body image that is all the rage these days is as detrimental to the average woman's psyche as was the Twiggy ideal, or the 1800s 12 inch waste ideal or the Jayne Mansfield huge breasted ideal...

Sparrow

___________________
www.scifichics.com
 
Nancy,

I would go with the loosening up idea. Life is very short. I remember my dad telling me this summer he wished he hadn't lost that 20 pounds he been hanging on to before he got sick. He was a very healthy guy prior to getting cancer. He was 61 when he died. He ended up not being able to eat anything at the end and pretty much starved to death.

So, if you enjoy eating, my opinion is to eat. You're not the type of person to become morbidly obese. ;-)

To me, 50 is still young. On the Today Show the other day they just said 50 is the new 30. :) :)

Marsha
 
>>Hi Nancy (The Elder?? not even my dear:) )
>>
>>I know for myself, as a trainer, I cannot maintain that
>>trainer image (think Jillian on Biggest Loser or god forbid
>>Cathe). I'm in good shape and work very hard, but I can't
>>walk around everyday looking like I'm ready for a fitness
>>competition. And I know some people expect that from a
>>trainer. I know I'm not the trainer for them and that's
>okay.
>> I'm in the best shape that's possible for me.
>>
>I don't want to hijack Nancy's thread, but I just wanted to
>say, you don't know how great it is to hear a fitness trainer
>say that!! I actually studied the fitness training program
>through ACE, but never practiced for that very reason. I just
>couldn't keep up with the ideals I saw in the fitness world.
>After some sleepless nights I decided that for my own sanity
>it wasn't the profession for me, no matter how much I actually
>loved the info. Good for you!
>
>I beginning to think that the "super fit chick" body image
>that is all the rage these days is as detrimental to the
>average woman's psyche as was the Twiggy ideal, or the 1800s
>12 inch waste ideal or the Jayne Mansfield huge breasted
>ideal...
>
>Sparrow
>
>___________________
>www.scifichics.com

Thanks Sparrow!! I appreciate your comments so very much. You know I've found that I am actually more popular, as a trainer at my gym, because I care so my about my clients and look at them more in the mirror as opposed to myself. And I'm not the most cut...imagine that??? Someone who is ready for fitness competitions has the LEAST amount of time to concentrate on others. I'm sorry that kept you from this profession, but I totally understand the pressure that we perceive we have to look one certain way to train. Sorry to be hijacking, but I had to respond. I'm sure you'd be a great trainer!!!
 
Oh, dear Amy. Your FIL died on the dance floor? Where was he and how old was he? How horrifying for your family.
 
Thanks for the compliment Lori! Yes, I am a lotttttt older, but you know what? It's not so bad. I have a lot more confidence. Maybe not as much as other women my age, but definitely a lot more than I had when I was young!
 
I hear you, Robin, and I absolutely agree. It's one thing to say it, and another to do it. Thank you so much for your adorable p.s.! :D
 
"If you've been a healthy/fit person for a number of years than those habits are probably more ingrained than you think; you are not suddenly going to do a faceplant into trough full of strawberry shortcake and suck it all down!"

LOL Sparrow! :7 :7 :7 :7 Thank you for stating my point so hysterically well.
 
Oh, Lisa. The "Lost Sudoku Weekend". Wasn't that the name of a movie starring Ray Milland? :7 :7 :7 Thank you so much for your comments! :D
 
Mar,
As much as I'm liking all the supportive comments, none mean more than those from other women my age. What a tragedy about your cousin's wife. Those kinds of stories really do give me perspective.
 
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