The Runaway Bride

>I remember when I was planning my wedding everything
>spiraled out of control because it became everyone else's
>wedding too.It was so stressful and annoying.

Mine, too. Especially since my husband and I were married in civil court (in Texas) a year before the church wedding, the (Catholic) church (in the Philippines) really made sure to give us a hard time to let us know how displeased they were that we were "living in sin". And with the culture being nosy and downright intrusive, there were moments when I wanted to make like the disgruntled post office worker.

But I swallowed hard and held it all together. When it was time to make my speech in front of 300 people, most of whom I didn't know, I made sure to let loose everything I thought about the church. Then I thanked everybody who helped me hold it all together during the ordeal, and deliberately ignored every nosy and intrusive person who was expecting such thanks. I looked at the faces of every one I didn't thank, raised an eyebrow, shrugged a shoulder, and passed on the microphone to my husband. I gotta hand it to him, he did a nice save. The ball room was deathly silent.

I didn't run. I got even.

Pinky
 
To ZT27: I certainly agree with you that a huge wedding, and the family politics that go into it (and in fact often are the impetus of it) is stressful, AND that people choose these monster balls of their own free will. I'm with you on the position that she's not anorexic - and I'm getting tired of every moral defalcation among the middle class being thrown into the She's-Not-A-Stinker-She's-SICK
bin.

However, I must offer a correction as a point of law: private citizens do not "press charges" in a criminal manner against an individual. That rests exclusively with the appropriate charging authority depending on the nature of the crime and the appropriate jurisdiction (jurisdiction being established, again, by the nature of the crime, the severity of the offense AND often the geographical area in which the crime occurred). A victim of a crime may report that crime to the appropriate law enforcement authority, which then would turn the case (investigated or on its face) to the charging authority (a city attorney's office, a district or county attorney's office, or a federal attorney's office) which would then decide whether the case and the defendant can and should be prosecuted criminally. If the decision is made NOT to prosecute, a private citizen cannot then say, "Okay, I'll prosecute her myself."

From what I've seen, the reason Wilbanks is not being charged criminally is that in fact the one possible crime she committed, giving false information to the police, is so de minimus in the greater context of this whole thing that the prosecution would be far more trouble than it would be worth to the jurisdiction. It's no crime, as an adult, to run away and let family and friends anguish over your disappearance. It's no crime to stick your family with a multi-thousand-dollar wedding bill because you've got cold feet. It's no crime to let your fiance have to undergo law enforcement suspicion up to and including a lie-detector test. It's no crime to be a selfish, impulsive, self-absorbed slob.

Sometimes I gotta think: and more's the pity.

A-Jock
 
And now I must correct myself:

Although the police in Milbanks's jurisdiction in Georgia said there would be no criminal charges, the district attorney of that jurisdiction has announces that he will be contemplating possible misdemeanor charges of false report of a crime, OR felony charges of making false statements to the police. The former means possible jail time, and the latter means possible prison time.

Looks like Georgia distinguishes these crimes even more minutely than Minnesota. And it looks like Herself ain't outta the woods yet.

And it makes my blood absolutely boil that she alleged a "Latin male and female" were the ones who abducted her. Add a little racism to this already poisonous stew, why doncha?

A-Jock
 
I don't think we know the whole story (not that we need to). Because there has been so much horrible stuff happening over the last few yrs. and the media circus that invariably ensues, it was only natural, unfortunately, for us to expect the worst. Too many wives, girlfriends and children have been abducted and or murdered by people close to them for us to NOT suspect foul play. I was sick to my stomach whenever I saw her family on TV and was suspicious when her fiance refused a lie detector test. It's hard for us to remember we live in a country where we're presumed innocent.
Did she do an irresponsible thing? No question. Was she overwhelmed and out of control, do something tough to explain and then tried to lie about it? Yup. She needs the media to leave her alone to sort this out w/ her family, fiance, authorities etc.
Valerie
 
It seems as though the media and the court of public opinion have already judged this woman, without all the facts. There is the real possibility that she is suffering from a mental illness.
 
You know.....Why whenever someone does something real stupid, you think she might have a mental illness?? Men have done this before the day they're supposed to get married or even a day or two before they're supposed to get married and I don't hear anyone saying these guys have mental illness. You know why?? Because they DO NOT! People get cold feet all the time and granted what she did was incredibly stupid. Since her fiance declined a lie detector test, (if that is the truth. You never know with the press) he is hiding something. Whether he's abusive to her, a pedophile, etc.... Cops ask a lot of questions about everything in your life.

I do not trust the press so I don't follow most stories. When I found out she went missing, I knew she wasn't kidnapped or anything. It sounded too strange for her to be kidnapped.

Lisa
 
To Aquajock,
Citzens especially her own family, fiance, etc can press charges against her. They won't do it but my point in my post is the law enforcement should press charges against her. They have the authority. I know about these things because that's what I used to do for a living. I know quite as much as you and maybe more. My DH is an attorney. I personally think the local police should press charges against her. Certainly she can afford it since she's from a very well off family and they should compensate for the loss.

And, yes it was a bit of racist for her to say hispanic male and a white female who kidnapped her. If you look at history, it's usually the minority that does a lot of kidnappings and other things. Yes, I know there are a lot of whites who does this things as well. You can challenge me all you want about the minority doing crimes. I'm sticking with my post because like I said above, I have a strong law enforcement background and no I am not a racist or anything. Also, it depends on what state you are from. Some states are heavily populated with minorities, some cities are heavily populated with minorities. Southwest has a lot of hispanics, South has a lot of blacks, etc..... I'm from NY so there are a lot of blacks and hispanics around here. It's usually a black or hispanic who get in big trouble around here where I am. I know a lot of white people get in trouble, believe me. And no, cops does not play favors especially around here. I know in Virginia and in New Mexico where I used to live, cops do not play favors. You screw up, they throw you in jail.

Hope you had a great weekend.
Lisa
 
While I am as disgusted by the whole thing, I'm pretty sure she didn't realize the trouble she would cause. If she had actually sat down and thought through what might happen, she might have handled it differently. She's definitely an embarrassment to her family - she's obviously pretty stupid.
 
To Lisa - I too have a strong background in criminal prosecution, having worked as a paralegal and investigator for a county attorney's office for almost six years now. I say again: it is the charging authority in the form of a municipal, county/district attorney or federal attorney's office that prosecutes individuals, NOT citizens and NOT law enforcement. Citizens may report crimes and law enforcement may investigate these crimes and present them to the appropriate charging authority for a charging decision, but the decision to prosecute, and which crimes can be charged (and proven beyond a reasonable doubt) rest with the charging authority. I've investigated plenty of reports, as have my colleague civilian investigators as well as licensed sheriff and police investigators, that have been declined for charging because there was not enough evidence to get the case in front of a jury. The investigator, or indeed the crime victim, could not then say "Well, I'll prosecute him/her myself."

What makes this whole discussion relevant is something you pointed out: the family, and Wilbanks's fiance, may not want her prosecuted, but it's not their case to decide. It's the district attorney's, and it looks like he's more than a tad miffed at her.

A-Jock
 
I do not blame the DA for looking to press charges against her. I'd do the same if I were a DA. The family and the law enforcement can persuade the DA to press charges against her as well. I'm done talking about this topic anyway as I have a lot of things to do.

How can a paralegal be an investigator? I don't know how Minnesota works but here, you're just a paralegal and no one gives a crap about you. You're just above a secretary but still basically a secretary.

Lisa
 
Yeah? Want to take her to a mental institution and put her on some kind of medication?? It's easy to get nowdays.
 
No sympathy here. This chick is an immature dingbat.

Here's an idea to make an example of her: In some areas, if a skier knowingly skis out of bounds and gets lost in the woods, they are liable for the cost of their rescue. Seems to me that the municipality or agency that spent so many man-hours and resources on her investigation has every right to send her a big fat bill!!

I'd love that.
 
I would also love this! Or, make her work it off by picking up trash off the side of the road, cleaning up cigarette butts, anything really disgusting!
 
I heard there were 500 people invited to the wedding! Wow!

Surely, she's unstable. Maybe she did the fiance a favor by showing her butt. I hope he's re-thinking what he's getting into.
 
Hey Lisa! :)

She either 1. Has a mental disorder or 2. Is a selfish bridezilla.

I just heard she bought the bus ticket a week in advance. Hmmmm..
 
>>And, yes it was a bit of racist for her to say hispanic male and a white female who kidnapped her. If you look at history, it's usually the minority that does a lot of kidnappings and other things. Yes, I know there are a lot of whites who does this things as well. You can challenge me all you want about the minority doing crimes. I'm sticking with my post because like I said above, I have a strong law enforcement background and no I am not a racist or anything. Also, it depends on what state you are from. Some states are heavily populated with minorities, some cities are heavily populated with minorities. Southwest has a lot of hispanics, South has a lot of blacks, etc..... I'm from NY so there are a lot of blacks and hispanics around here. It's usually a black or hispanic who get in big trouble around here where I am. I know a lot of white people get in trouble, believe me. And no, cops does not play favors especially around here. I know in Virginia and in New Mexico where I used to live, cops do not play favors. You screw up, they throw you in jail.
>>

Lisa, I don't intend to hijack this thread and turn it into a racial thing, but with respect I disagree - violently and absolutely - with your assertions that "it's usually the minority that does a lot of kidnappings and other things". I'm glad you recognize that white people get into trouble too, which is why I don't understand or agree with the decision to single out blacks and Latinos as the 'usual' perpetrators.

Pinky, I wish I could have been at your wedding reception - yowza! Do you have your speech on tape? Good friends of ours have the CLASSIC wedding video - they had a shotgun wedding, neither family was happy, relatives at the wedding were in the corning muttering to each other "awful business, isn't it?"...and the groom gets up at the reception and starts talking about the baby and premarital sex and putting the cart before the horse. It's hysterical watching it now but among the guests there's that same deathly silence during and after his speech.

Oh yeah, and Jennifer Wilbanks: community service seems to be both a good repayment and a way for this woman to wrap her brain around the idea that there are other people and other problems in the world besides hers.
 
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