Talking to Husband about getting a Dog!?

Jennifit

Jennifit

Cathlete
Help!!
My husband isn't wild about the idea about getting a dog, but my kids and I really want one!! I have had dogs and cats all my life (Except for the 7 years I have been married) and my husband just has had horses...never a dog or anything that lived inside with his family. It is killing me not having one. It is so weird how his family is about this subject!!!!
How do I approach the subject without being totally shot down? Am I over thinking this?? My DH is gone a lot and I want a buddy at night to hang with...

Please help me, fellow animal lovers...Thanks!

jen
 
Oh Jen, . . .trust me I totally feel you 100%!!!! I've wanted a dog for the past 8 months. My husband is not exactly keen on owning a dog since we don't have a back yard.

I've researched, . .asked here, asked pet owners, looked into insurance, and veterinary hospitals, and crunched the numbers. Thing is you have to really ask yourself why you want one and can you afford and provide everything that the dog needs. Although my husband disagreed with me he brought up some really great points. We in fact do not have a back yard, and there is an added expense. There is also the fact that there is a learning curve for dogs, . . and if you get a puppy, . .well puppies like to chew, and require a lot of attention. Think about if you are getting a dog for the children. Understand that if your children are young and if your husband is working all the time this dog will be YOUR responsibility and at 7:00am when the dog wants to go for a walk and it is raining or snowing you'll have to do it whether you like it or not. You'll be responsible for the grooming, and picking up the poop.
With all that said and if you are willing to take on the responsibilities I think that the positives out way the negative, . .at least in my situation. I'd love to have a running buddy and I am a stay at home mom so I have a lot of time to devote to training. My husband also works a lot so having my own personal alarm system sounds nice too but my best reason to get a dog is that they become a devoted family friend that will not judge you, gossip, but will love you and provide you unconditionaly. I feel that owning a dog is like having your very own personal trainer and therapist.
I've managed to convince my husband and now he's game. We've gotten our landlords permission (he's a retired veterinarian). I've done my research now it is just a matter of finding the perfect fit. I really believe that the dog chooses you and I only want a rescue. Unfortunately because I don't have a yard I keep getting denied. :( I know you know this and your house is probably bigger than mine but puppies, although cute, grow up. Good luck. I'll be excited to know what the family decides.
 
Jennifit said:
Help!!
My husband isn't wild about the idea about getting a dog, but my kids and I really want one!! I have had dogs and cats all my life (Except for the 7 years I have been married) and my husband just has had horses...never a dog or anything that lived inside with his family. It is killing me not having one. It is so weird how his family is about this subject!!!!
How do I approach the subject without being totally shot down? Am I over thinking this?? My DH is gone a lot and I want a buddy at night to hang with...

Please help me, fellow animal lovers...Thanks!

jen
Click to expand...

I'm in the same boat. I have wanted and waited for a dog for 20 years now, and it's never the right time. He keeps saying soon. We just are getting settled in a new house so I get it, ok I'll wait a little longer. I feel for you. Don't know what to tell you just wanted to say I feel for you. Autumn
 
My husband never wants a dog either but we have 2. I just get one. The dog is for me--not my kids, not my family just for me. I take full responsibility for the dog--feeding, walking, grooming, vet etc. We also don't have a fenced backyard and I really enjoy walking with my dogs. Now what has happened is that my DH has taken the dogs over. He takes them to the dog park TWICE a day! I still fed them and walk them first thing in the morning but otherwise he is completely involved with them. We have rescue dogs that I researched online. I kept showing him pictures and he would just say hmmmm. Then I ask him to go with me to pick the dog up and he asks Oh who is adopting him? We are! I don't know why he is always so surprised. I guess what I am saying is that I have never adopted a dog for the family or my kids. I have adopted a dog for me and if there is an extra bonus that others want to get involved that's great.
 
Jen - I'm definitely not the one to give advice on this! I went out and bought a baby weiner dog, put a bow around his neck and brought him home to DH for "Father's Day". DH wasn't too happy for a while there, but that dog is his baby now. If anything happens to Dakota, I will have to have Bry committed. I always go with the don't ask permission, ask for forgiveness. ;) It's got me into trouble with at least 2 other dog presents. I left Cheyenne in a box on our front door with a free to a good home sign and rang the doorbell. DH wasn't to thrilled about that one either!!!
 
Liann said:
Jen - I'm definitely not the one to give advice on this! I went out and bought a baby weiner dog, put a bow around his neck and brought him home to DH for "Father's Day". DH wasn't too happy for a while there, but that dog is his baby now. If anything happens to Dakota, I will have to have Bry committed. I always go with the don't ask permission, ask for forgiveness. ;) It's got me into trouble with at least 2 other dog presents. I left Cheyenne in a box on our front door with a free to a good home sign and rang the doorbell. DH wasn't to thrilled about that one either!!!
Click to expand...


Your story made me laugh! I might just leave a dog at my doorstep, too! ha
I want only a rescue, adult dog, too. I love that you guys said you did it for yourselves. That is what I want, too! I want a walking budd at 7 am, I have a great yard...etc. I am home all the time and I want a buddy, too. Thank you for listening. I mentioned a dog to my DH (not so darling right now ;)) and he said he was getting an ulcer just thinking about it!? What a ding dong. Anyway, thanks everyone!! I will let you know if a rescue dog shows up on my loving doorstep!!!
 
For a rescue dog, try to find an organization that fosters the dogs in people's homes. They get to know the dogs, and they will try to find one that will fit well with your family. The rescue organization we used managed to find us the perfect dog for our family!
 
jodijodi said:
For a rescue dog, try to find an organization that fosters the dogs in people's homes. They get to know the dogs, and they will try to find one that will fit well with your family. The rescue organization we used managed to find us the perfect dog for our family!
Click to expand...

Great tip! Thank you!!
 
Jennifit said:
I mentioned a dog to my DH (not so darling right now ;)) and he said he was getting an ulcer just thinking about it!? What a ding dong.
Click to expand...

Get yourself a dog a tell him that it will be good for his stress level. ;)

FWIW, I was not a dog person 20+ years ago until I met my husband who already had a dog...and as they say, the rest is history. So he may come around when he actually lives with one.

Good luck!!:)
 
PhyllisG said:
My husband never wants a dog either but we have 2. I just get one. The dog is for me--not my kids, not my family just for me. I take full responsibility for the dog--feeding, walking, grooming, vet etc. I have adopted a dog for me and if there is an extra bonus that others want to get involved that's great.
Click to expand...

I feel the same way!!! I loved hearing this story.

Jen let us know what happens. If you get one post pictures. Since you are an expereinced dog owner you've been down this road before. I say get one!
 
Liann said:
Jen - I'm definitely not the one to give advice on this! I went out and bought a baby weiner dog, put a bow around his neck and brought him home to DH for "Father's Day". DH wasn't too happy for a while there, but that dog is his baby now. If anything happens to Dakota, I will have to have Bry committed. I always go with the don't ask permission, ask for forgiveness. ;) It's got me into trouble with at least 2 other dog presents. I left Cheyenne in a box on our front door with a free to a good home sign and rang the doorbell. DH wasn't to thrilled about that one either!!!
Click to expand...

I agree with the don't ask permission approach. I have never in my life asked permission for a dog. I just always brought them home and it's always worked out. As a kid living at home with my mom I brought home at least 6 that I can think of right off the top of my head. At one time we had 4 dogs at the same time. My mom was NOT a big fan of dogs either.

My Dh had never had a dog either. 10 years ago when we dating I did give DH fair warning that I would most likely never be without at leaset 1 dog and if he would not let me have one then we may as well not progress with our relationship. We have 3 dogs now. :D
 
Our beloved Sherman came to us as a rescue puppy, and DH was not keen on getting a dog. We took him to an adoption fair, and the rest is history.

Having said that I will weigh the obvious -

1) Dogs shed, you will be cleaning more.

2) All dogs are not alike. They each have personalities, and life is not always cute and cuddly...

3) Taking proper care of the dog is just as important as any other member of the family - there are responsibilities and costs involved with that.

4) Dogs will chew the one thing that you don't want them too. Be prepared to sacrifice your favorite pair of shoes, library books,etc...

5) Your rewards will far outweigh the cons, but even though this pet is going to be a member of the family and will need every bit as much care as a child, that dog is still the pet of the family and should know that you are always the pack leader, and that he is a pack member.

6) I am a huge Caesar Millan fan, can you tell???

Best of luck, Sherman is a joy to our lives and worth all the sleepless nights, torn up clothing, books and dog hair that came with his adorable package!
All dogs want is to know what is expected of them and to please you. They love unconditionally and completely.
 
Conni said:
Our beloved Sherman came to us as a rescue puppy, and DH was not keen on getting a dog. We took him to an adoption fair, and the rest is history.

Having said that I will weigh the obvious -

1) Dogs shed, you will be cleaning more.

2) All dogs are not alike. They each have personalities, and life is not always cute and cuddly...

3) Taking proper care of the dog is just as important as any other member of the family - there are responsibilities and costs involved with that.

4) Dogs will chew the one thing that you don't want them too. Be prepared to sacrifice your favorite pair of shoes, library books,etc...

5) Your rewards will far outweigh the cons, but even though this pet is going to be a member of the family and will need every bit as much care as a child, that dog is still the pet of the family and should know that you are always the pack leader, and that he is a pack member.

6) I am a huge Caesar Millan fan, can you tell???

Best of luck, Sherman is a joy to our lives and worth all the sleepless nights, torn up clothing, books and dog hair that came with his adorable package!
All dogs want is to know what is expected of them and to please you. They love unconditionally and completely.
Click to expand...

Thank you!! I agree with everything you said. My dogs and cats I have had throughout my life were a TON of work, but worth every minute. I am so ready.

UPDATE: We are meeting with Blossom, the little doggy, as a family on Sunday. I will let you know what happens. My husband claims he is getting an ulcer, but oh well. ;)
I will post a picture soon. Thank you, Everyone for your advice.
 
How exciting! Let us know how everything goes!

We have no sympathy for DH. Tell him to chew on some Tums :)!

Carrie
 
Yeah!!! Post pics please. I am so excited for you!!! We have an appointment with a german shepherd rescue this Sunday! Cross your fingers for me. I'm really hoping this works out and that the volunteer sees that we are committed and doesn't hold the fact that we do not have a back yard against us. Hopefully we'll both be welcoming new members into our family!
 
Thank goodness DH and I both LOVE dogs and we love our Kirby.

However, if my DH did not want one, I would not get one and just bring him home. Owning a pet is a major decision and BOTH parties involved should have a say-so.
 
Why can't one party have a dog and take responsibility for the pet? I have to admit I do not ask my DH's permission to do things. My MIL gave me advice when I married telling me to get what I want and just bring it in the house! I had to laugh. After all she was my DH's mother. This advice was delivered in a thick Irish brogue. Loved that woman!
 
Jennifit said:
UPDATE: We are meeting with Blossom, the little doggy, as a family on Sunday. I will let you know what happens. My husband claims he is getting an ulcer, but oh well. ;)
I will post a picture soon. Thank you, Everyone for your advice.
Click to expand...

I wanted to wish you good luck! :)
I would also like to encourage you and your family to sign up for dog training classes. You will have to choose one handler, but your family can watch and learn. It would be really good for your DH and a wonderful learning experience for your children. I was not a dog person until I went through dog classes. Once I learned how to care, discipline, train, and basically understand their language....I was hooked!
 
janie1234 said:
Yeah!!! Post pics please. I am so excited for you!!! We have an appointment with a german shepherd rescue this Sunday! Cross your fingers for me. I'm really hoping this works out and that the volunteer sees that we are committed and doesn't hold the fact that we do not have a back yard against us. Hopefully we'll both be welcoming new members into our family!
Click to expand...

Crossing my fingers for you, too!! You will be on my mind! How funny...cannot wait for Sunday!!!

fit44 - dog training classes are a GREAT idea! I am going to look around today. thx
 
PhyllisG said:
Why can't one party have a dog and take responsibility for the pet? I have to admit I do not ask my DH's permission to do things. My MIL gave me advice when I married telling me to get what I want and just bring it in the house! I had to laugh. After all she was my DH's mother. This advice was delivered in a thick Irish brogue. Loved that woman!
Click to expand...

Hmmm, well, I don't consider it asking his permission. I call it having a discussion and respecting each others' opinions and perspectives.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top