super clean eating or eating disorder?

delfin

delfin

Cathlete
I'm a little worried about a friend. She's very thin, and I can't tell if she's just very serious about eating clean, or if her seriousness has become an obsession that's bordering on an eating disorder. We went out Sat nite, and she ordered her salad w/no dressing and salmon plain... no big deal. But she's become almost fanatical about salt, too. Sunday, she came over for dinner, and told me she gained three pounds from the nite before. I told her that didn't seem likely. So while I'm trying to get Easter dinner together, she's asking me to put aside some sweet potatoes before I mash them with a little butter. She won't eat the ham, no , it's too salty, so she takes a couple hard-boiled eggs from my fridge (and eats only the white part). Then, as I'm about to put dressing (a light vinegrette) on the asparagus salad, she's hovering around, telling me she wants it plain. Mind you, this is our Easter dinner, and she was just driving me a little nuts with all the special requests. But I'm really starting to think that her clean eating is definitely bordering on OCD. What do you think?

Oh, and BTW, she likes to make these little comments like, "I don't think I like the fact that you work out more than me." And, when I lost a couple pounds, (and my belly), she was like, "Wow, I think you really need to put on a couple pounds." She's a very dear friend and a great person, but.... ahhhh!
 
Sounds a bit more like an eating disorder to me, especially from this:

> Sunday, she
>came over for dinner, and told me she gained three pounds from
>the nite before.

I think weighing oneself every day is a bit compulsive.


>Oh, and BTW, she likes to make these little comments like, "I
>don't think I like the fact that you work out more than me."
>And, when I lost a couple pounds, (and my belly), she was
>like, "Wow, I think you really need to put on a couple
>pounds." She's a very dear friend and a great person, but....
>ahhhh!

Doesn't sound that great to me!
 
Sounds very controlling, from telling you how to cook your dinner that you apparently invited her to, to not wanting you to work out/ look better/ lose more weight than her. I know that I can easily gain at least 3 lbs if I eat the wrong thing - too much salt, too rich, etc and my whole system goes off track and I look pregnant. That has been me for my whole life though - to have somebody just change sounds like she has issues. Being afraid to eat the wrong thing, even just a little bit, is not right. I will still eat something that I know will bother me if I am at somebody's house. I won't pig out, but I will have some of whatever it is. Does she nibble around before a meal, then say she is too full to eat? Does she move food around on her plate to make it look like she ate? Eating disorders are hell on a person, and their friends/family. My mom nearly died from aneroxia when I was a child - she was down to under 60 lbs, and 5'7". Nobody even hardly knew what to call it, much less how to treat it back then. If she is your friend, just explain to her that you are worried. She was probably trying to control her eating that day, rather than control the way you cooked and she didn't see her behavior as offensive since she was probably only thinking of herself and her calories, sodium, fat, etc. Good luck to both of you. If she really has an eating disorder, she will need a good friend, and better to nip it in the bud and get help now rather than wait. Of course, she won't want to hear it, and that will be the hard part - getting through to her. Shana
 
FWIW: I have to say that I tend to eat like her - I can add quite a few pounds by eating food that doesn't "work" for me too. I don't obsess about it, but usually don't eat a lot of dsg on my salads, though I will eat light dsgs. I don't do butter at all, love sweet potatos just by themselves. Usually eat my veggies just plain.

HOWEVER, I am not thin nor am I heavy. My metabolism is changing quickly at 50 yrs old and I am trying to adjust which is why my eating habits are attempting on "clean eating" as much as possible.

Regardless, I would not comment on someone working out more than me or tell them to gain weight so I would be the "skinny" one. That's a bit over the top. Unless she is just very competitive and/or has a low self esteem or no self confidence?

Hard to say, maybe if she gets any thinner to the point of being unhealthy you could venture to comment that you are worried.
 
maybe

I just learned about something called "female athlete triad" in a fitness book I read. I was suprized to find out I did some of these behaviors but not too bad. I wonder if your friend maybe like that? It seems to be very common. Women who want to be fit and eat clean can take it too far... not the point point of a full blown eating disorder but still its unhealthy. Here is one link that explains it. It is important to get all the nutrients our bodies need. I'm learning how to eat right as much as I can including eating enough. maybe you should recommend that burn the fat feed the muscle ebook? I just bought it and it looks good. It seems if you are too strict you can be classified as having "disordered eating" instead of an eating disorder.
Jess

http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00342
 
I just think that when you are invited to dinner at someone's home and you accept you should be gracious and eat what is served. You can always take a small serving of whatever you would prefer not to eat. I think it is more important to enjoy yourself, thank your friends for inviting you and not obssess on what you are eating. What a waste of what should be a good time among friends.
 
Not only does she sound like she has an eating disorder, she sounds downright ANNOYING. Sorry, but I would have handed her a glass of wine and stood over her until she drank it. :p She needs to relax!
 
She may not have an eating disorder but I would hesitate to invite her over for dinner again if she were my friend. I think it was pretty terrible of her to watch over you and make demands on you to make her portion of the meal different from everyone elses. It's a holiday meal for cripes sake. Get over it!

JMHO and no offense intended as I know she is a good friend of yours!
 
There's a fine line between dedication and obsession, and it does sound to me like your friend has crossed it. A normal person can handle eating in social situations and will bend the rules from time to time. I love Nancy's advice to ply her with a glass of wine. IA--I'm all for good health, but there are times when you need to relax, be a gracious guest, and enjoy life.

[font face="heather" font color=black size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee296/runninteach/exercise/th_SnowBunny_tns.jpg

http://img16.glitterfy.com/53/glitterfy084824T933D37.gif
 
>>>I'm all for good health, but there are times when you need to relax, be a gracious guest, and enjoy life.<<<

Amen to that!:)
 
>Not only does she sound like she has an eating disorder, she
>sounds downright ANNOYING. Sorry, but I would have handed her
>a glass of wine and stood over her until she drank it. :p She
>needs to relax!

LOL. She definitely is not a laid-back gal.
 
>Not only does she sound like she has an eating disorder, she sounds >downright ANNOYING.

ITA!!! And there are a lot of red flags for an eating disorder.
 
About the meal: if she couldn't find something she would eat that you had prepared, she could have brought a dish to share, to make sure that there was one item that fit her dietary constraints.

People can have ethical or medical reasons for not eating specific foods, or foods cooked a certain way, and they deal with it without necessarily being obnoxious. Certainly, she could have had the same courtesy (especially since it sounds more like she's doing this for vanity than for health: ie: avoiding salt not because of blood pressure concerns, but to not hold on to water weight).
 
>About the meal: if she couldn't find something she would eat
>that you had prepared, she could have brought a dish to share,
>to make sure that there was one item that fit her dietary
>constraints.

ITA! It's usually possible to bring a dish that suits our own needs. I know this one family, at every.single.party you can find one of them hanging over the serving dishes and squinting at the food like s/he has just lost a contact lens in the pasta salad. Then the questions start. "Is there shellfish in this? How about milk products? The kids can't have mushrooms..." Yet I've never seen them bring a dish to contribute. Annoying.

That said, if your friend has a legitimate problem, then the anxiety of eating just overwhelms her manners and she's not thinking straight. As irritating as she can be, she might need compassion right now. Or that glass of wine Nancy mentioned!

Sparrow



Even after all this time the earth never says to the sun, "you owe me." Look what happens with a love like that.

It lights the whole sky.

- Hafiz
 
I have no idea if she has an eating disorder. However, I wouldn't have felt like it was a annoying to take a portion of potatoes (already made) out for her, or give her egg whites (already boiled) instead of ham, or not add dressing on her already prepared salad. It's not like she demanded you make her a completely different meal. As a hostess, I prefer to prepare something that will be enjoyed. If that is what my company enjoys, good for them! It's not like she's a stranger or a new acquaintance. You must have already known her eating habits. I don't think it's a big deal.

Now, this is said from a woman who made mashed cauliflower instead of potatoes and bok choy for Easter dinner. Of course, I made cheesy broccoli casserole and served ham. But, I would have left some plain broccoli out of the casserole if someone requested, and willingly handed over a few hard boiled, colored Easter eggs. My dog would have loved the yolks!!!

It sounds like this issue goes deeper than asking to save a portion for her before adding ingredients she doesn't want to eat. As far as the comments, I would confront her about them. Talk it over with her. That's what friends do.

Now, with everything I've said... Take it with a grain of leftover salt.:+

Wendy
 
Hmmm. Do you know if she used to be heavy? It may be that she is afraid of gaining the weight back. She may also have body image problems (she may look in the mirror and see her old larger body instead of the thin body she has now). She may feel that if she cheats a bit she may end up binging and not know how to stop. Putting this type of control of her food intake helps her feel she won't gain weight and will enable her to feel better about herself. This will in time change once she figures out what foods work for her and what ones don't.

However, if she wasn't heavy previously, then I would say she could have a problem. I would suggest she read some books regarding food and self image. There are books out there that talk about this.

Hope this helps.
Lorrayne
 
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