so aggravated

ldy_solana

ldy_solana

Cathlete
let me start by sharing with those that don't know, my daughter is ausitic/adhd/sensory integration disorder she is a wonderful kid yet b/c of these diagnoses sometimes she has difficulty doing things that many take for granted as a natural thing. like understanding verbal directions without sign language or visual prompts.

have to work on something to present to ymca. they wouldn't let viola in the deep end of the pool b/c she couldn't understand verbal directions for a swim test. come on we have been going several times a week since feb. you would think ONE lifeguard could vouch that the kid could swim. i am proposing they make a modified one for mental/developmental disabled children. we aren't the only family and i will be damned if they will not accommodate us the way they would for anybody else just b/c our kids can't socially verbalize and understand directions without prompts. to me that is discrimination against her abilities. she can swim and swim well and even has the head lifeguard amazed that she has never taken a lesson but if you tell her to tread water she just dives under LOL. she is wonderful kid and simply get so angry when ppl can't work with us.

this lifeguard was only doing her job but i tried to explain and said we could try if you will let me show her what she has to do first then let her follow my lead. i am pretty sure viola could show her she can do if i showed her exactly what she had to do first. but she said she might get in trouble from her director for that.

as for the director this isn't the first time, the head lifeguard was pushing for something to accommodate all children but she is just to damn lazy to do anything about it. if it doesn't involved a parent shelling about $150 for swim lessons i guess she couldn't give a damn. when dh gets home i am going to discuss it with him and thinking all of us should go in tomorrow and go above the swim directors' head on this one. just b/c you can't see it doesn't make it any less of a disability. and i am not even asking to do away with the swim test and "take me word" i am just asking for a little modification so she has a chance to do it like everybody else but at a level she can work with.

the worst of it is, i was told if i was in the pool with her it wouldn't be an issue.well i was in the pool with her and i wanted her to race me and they wouldn't let her. how can you tell ME i can't have my child with ME on the same side of the pool.

just one more challenge i have to face b/c my child doesn't "look" disabled.

kassia:(
 
Kassia, I hear ya. Unfortunately it is the way things are. Not that it should be that way. I remember when my son, . . was 2 and was first diagnoised (aspergers) had to get his very first hair cut how freaked out I was to take him. I had to take him to a kid friendly place and scope out the place a week before. Take him there a few days before to get him used to the sounds and then talk to the hair stylist. When all was said and done $35 later for a hair cut that took 10 minutes I was so mentally exhausted. It angers me that the swim school would not take into consideration your daughters specific situation. If a child was physically disabled everyone would be more understanding, . . .it does not make it fair and I hate that this is the way things are. I am hoping that the more and more people become aware of autism the more understanding people will be. Does your state have a regional center? When my son was first diagnoised we were able to get some summer camp programs paid for. I know some parents that were able to get theraputic horse back riding lessons, music lessons, and swimming lessons covered. The only problem is that State Budget cuts may have impacted these programs and I remember having to fight like crazy just to get some things covered. Good luck to you. Your daughter is lucky to have an advocate like you.
 
hi janie, it is so hard when ppl are in the dark. i am glad to have ppl on the boards that understand from this point of view

viola just finished her camp last week. we still have some summer services hours starting next week then there will be school thank goodness.

we are members of the ymca and we use the pool very often. the head lifeguard told me about the swim test(for someone with no education or training with special needs he is a very nice person and works great with us)and i offered ideas but he is not the director so he can't do anything unless the director says so. which leaves us with lifeguards wanting her to take the swim test,me trying to help then them saying she can't swim in the deep end.

its the ymca i mean isn't this suppose to help community relation wise and is this the message they want to send? an aquatics director that can't be bothered to meet with the families for ideas and suggestions so all kids get the same fairness when it comes to swim tests based on disabilities,there isn't even a disability swim lesson class(another thing the head lifeguard wants to do). and considering lynchburg,va does have a lot of talk about it. we have one school dedicated to all disabilities(more low functioning) and 4 public schools with programs dedicated to autism on all spectrums,its surprising she is in the dark about ANY disorder that could keep a child from following directions for swim tests.

oh this will not stand it just will not. i have already in my mind that if they don't want to work with me i will just revoke my membership. i don't need their gym, i have cathe and kettlebells and if i need a pool i will just pay the $3 and go to my mom's apartment complex with their pool. as long as i pay $3 i can stay all day. for what they charge a month i will just find another activity for viola. she just loves to swim so we thought it was worth it.

i am not at all mad at the lifeguard today, its not her fault, at least it shows she is doing her job. i am super ticked at the director though this is her job. to help with the community, if that is to much trouble i vote the head lifeguard be promoted to director. he is knowledgeable and willing to work with ppl and parents wouldn't have to go through this crap.

to also note 3 other kids came to the pool no supervision and they were not asked to take a swim text and one of them had to be viola's age. just gets more unfair. everything will be documented tomorrow. oh dh is not going to be a happy camper tonight!

kassia
 
Hi Kassia -

Have you tried discussing this with the Owner/Manager of the facility? If that doesn't work, why not write a public letter to the editor about it presenting your case that all children who can swim should be allowed total access regardless of their status. You said there are other families with children who have challenges. Why not all get together and try to talk to the Director?

I can't imagine how frustrating that must be for you. I have never had to deal with anything like that. I hope you can make some progress with them. It sounds like your daughter is amazing! I still don't swim well and am very nervous in the water! I applaud her swimming skills!
 
syzygy314 said:
Hi Kassia -

Have you tried discussing this with the Owner/Manager of the facility? If that doesn't work, why not write a public letter to the editor about it presenting your case that all children who can swim should be allowed total access regardless of their status. You said there are other families with children who have challenges. Why not all get together and try to talk to the Director?

I can't imagine how frustrating that must be for you. I have never had to deal with anything like that. I hope you can make some progress with them. It sounds like your daughter is amazing! I still don't swim well and am very nervous in the water! I applaud her swimming skills!
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we are going in tomorrow to discuss with y director. i have some ideas for modifications that should suit their policy but they get help. i am trying to figure a way to contact the other families. obviously i can't ask the front desk for names and numbers LOL but hopefully we can resolve without going far. this is the second time we went through this and the usual lifeguard wasn't there to help me this time. we tried to make the best of it doing running races in the shallow end of the water but she is an awesome swimmer. if i knew how to embed video i could post some the head lifeguard recorded when he got his new camera. he was so cool do send pics and vids for us.

me not so great swimmer maybe they should give me a swim test LOL. she is our little "fish" everybody says so. even her camp director at the special needs camp she just finished.

kassia
 
ldy_solana said:
we are going in tomorrow to discuss with y director. i have some ideas for modifications that should suit their policy but they get help. i am trying to figure a way to contact the other families. obviously i can't ask the front desk for names and numbers LOL but hopefully we can resolve without going far. this is the second time we went through this and the usual lifeguard wasn't there to help me this time. we tried to make the best of it doing running races in the shallow end of the water but she is an awesome swimmer. if i knew how to embed video i could post some the head lifeguard recorded when he got his new camera. he was so cool do send pics and vids for us.

me not so great swimmer maybe they should give me a swim test LOL. she is our little "fish" everybody says so. even her camp director at the special needs camp she just finished.

kassia
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That's so great! I think the video idea is perfect! I'm not sure how to do that either, but you might want to ask here. I believe there are at least one or two highly techy people in this forum, just not sure who. I'm certain they'd be willing to walk you through it!
 
Kassia have you thought about showing the Y Director the videos of her swimming?

Who can you contact about a public place that does not make accommodations for those that need them in order to take a test? Is autism "protected" under the ADA?

Seems to me that a public place like the YMCA would have to accommodate - come on what would it take for a simple visual instruction to someone who knows how to swim already anyway?

Best of luck - you will figure something out ! You are definitely a great parent !
 
Oh, Kassia, I feel for you on this one. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug from someone who knows all about trying to navigate this world with kids who are different but who look "typical".

Janie! Your story about haircuts is so right on! My DS (PDD, ADD, other medical stuff, etc. etc. etc.) went through a period of time when he would NOT have his hair washed and would NOT get a cut. It was a drag and a half. His step-mom found a place that would accommodate him and, after a few 'dos, she bought clippers and would do it herself. Now he's much better about all of it - thank goodness!
 
Kassia, I am sending you many hugs!!! I can imagine how frustrating this is for you, and I am praying that the visit with the director was helpful!

((((((((((HUGS!!!))))))))))

Melissa
 
thanks gals:) i will update soon. we have to go in on friday so we can speak with the head honcho there. i am a pretty present person at the y whether the pool or the gym and dh is on the dodgeball team there and we are chummy with many of the lifeguards since they live in our area. i am sure we can get it resolved and have the ppl to back us up.

tomorrow we are going to a water for a family day. closest least expensive thing to do for the summer before school starts. looking forward to that :D

kassia
 
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