PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

D

dancehallqueen22

Active Member
I don't know what is wrong with me...i have SERIOUS food issues!! I am 5 foot 3 inches and weigh about 108 lbs...i am a good size and i am not interested in loosing a lot of weight but i can NOT stop eating. I have suffered with severes bulimia for about 10 months...not too long but long enough to just about ruin my life. I have a therapist and nothing has helped...this Saturday I made a decision to stop. I was so sick of this. I spend my life (and almost all my money) eating, eating, throwing up, then back out on the road again to hit up some more fast food places. I mean i can easily pass the WHOLE day eating and purging and over and over again. It is sickening if any of you saw how much i eat...i mean really NAUSAUTING! Since Saturday I have not purged ONCE and I am so happy...I usually do it 5 times a day so this is big for me! I love to eat though i can't stop!!!I am obssessed with food like nothing else and i don't know what to do...i excercise regulary and enjoy it. I know if I can get my eating down and live a healthy BALANCED life I would be truly happy...I just dont know how to achieve this balance. I get so depressed I just don't even want to go on...any suggestions...Thanx to all of you in advance! I appreciate being able to get this out and you reading this lengthy email :)
 
Maybe you should find another therapist - your problem, I fear, is too complex for most of us on these forums who don't have mental health backgrounds. You need the right kind of professional help, and not opinions that will do you more harm than good.
 
Lisa,

I can relate because I'm getting over a similar problem.

I read the book , "Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating" by Peter J. Cooper. It really helped me and taught me the first steps to recovery. There's a journal in there and it shows you how you can recover by logging in everything you eat and every time you purged and how you feel at the time. I'm not saying this book is the cure, but it really helped to get me started on my way to recovery.

Here's the link to it on Amazon and you can also read excerpts from the book too.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0814715230/104-4649413-4211122



Another good one: "The Deadly Diet" by Terence J. Sandbeck.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1879237423/104-4649413-4211122
 
I agree with honeybunch. Bulimia is a serious problem and you should change your therapist if the current one is not working. I have suffered from everything from anorexia, exercise bulimia to binge eating and for me it was a process of unearthing the emotional issues that I was trying to numb through food and exercise. I also had to learn to use healthier coping mechanisms to deal with those issues. Its impossible to get up one day and say you will stop eating junk or x amount of food - it just perpetuates the problem.

I would recommend a couple of resources that have truly helped me in my battles with food. The first is self-help books by Geneen Roth. She is fantastic. Her work is helpful to a wide range of people - from those who simply can't stop coveting 'forbidden' or unhealthy foods to those who have acute eating disorders. I can't recommend any one book because everything she has written is wonderful.

The second resource is the community at www.somethingfishy.org
The bulletin boards there are very helpful, inspiring and supportive.

However getting help in real time is important if your problem is very severe and is threatening your health. Good luck and remember that you can beat this.
 
I agree with Honeybunch. Any advice you get here is not going to do you any good without a good therapist.

Bolemia is a very seious eating disorder that needs very serious treatment. Anyone answering your questions here is doing more DISservice than service to you.
 
I'm so sorry about what you're going through, but Honeybunch is correct. You probably need a new therapist as many of us can only offer opinions. :( I do hope you will seek the therapy you need and get on the road to recovery.

Hollie
 
Deborah

Deborah,

I don't agree I am doing a DISservice to her. I was in her shoes and am recovering also from "BULIMIA". Whenever anyone would tell me to see or get a therapist it would go in one ear and out the other. ANY bit of information is helpful!

I said that it wouldn't necessarily be a cure but it is a START!
 
well I appreciate everyone's responses but I just say they made me feel a bit discouraged. I have seen several therapists and I honestly belive until something clicks or you are readyto stop nothing will help. I am educated on the topic...I have my BA in psychology, however all the knowledge in the world doesn't seem to help. My current therapist himself has told me that although he has studied eating disorders his whole life he has never suffered from one and can never fully understand. That is why he wants to me join a support group to connect with others who have simmiliar problems. Problem is there are not many in the area I live, the closest being about an hour away. Speaking to others who undertand I think would help me to feel not so lonely...I dont believe it would do any sort of diservice...sometimes reaching out and connecting with someone can do wonders I truly believe that but thank you all for your responses and to Dani for your email!:)
 
Bulimia is pretty complicated, but I believe there are two main driving forces ~ the physical and the emotional. I would recommend the book "The Diet Cure" by Julia Ross. This book discusses brain chemistry and possible treatment using amino acids to get your brain chem back on track. You have to remember that when you purge all day long, your brain chemistry is out of whack and is basically starving and that is where the insatiable cravings come from. Another book I would recommend is called “Feminist Perspectives on Eating Disorders”. The title may put some people off, but I found it very interesting and I would suggest giving it a try even if you don’t consider yourself a feminist. This book may give you some perspectives on why women are hurting themselves in this way. This might help you become a stronger more proactive participant in your recovery. Of course, this is just my opinion based off my own experience.

You have not purged for four days after 10 months of serious binging and purging. That is quite an accomplishment and shows amazing self-discipline. If you want to someone to email or talk with who will understand, you can email me at [email protected].
 
Fitness Goddess

I am not a confrontational person but do you believe the suggestions I have posted as someone who has fought pretty hard to recover from an ED a 'diservice'?! Firstly I advised her to get online support from the best online resource there is for ED sufferers and read some books which most therapists dealing in EDs would highly recommend themselves.

I recall that I have read a lot of posts here of a similar nature (e.g people saying that they were suffering from clinical depression etc). I don't remember empathisers and sympathisers to those posts being told that their replies were a 'diservice'. I definitely agree that a lot of mental problems (including EDs) can be life threating and that this may not be the ideal place to solicit advice and support from but I truly believe that my response was not harmful in any manner. I don't know if I am taking what you said personally but all I was trying to do is reach out to a person who is in trouble (the kind of trouble I have been in before!)
 
RE: Deborah

Guess what--been there done that, too. She needs help & shouldn't be getting it from us! None of us is educated enough to provide help unless someone is a credentialed therapist that specializes in eating disorders whether we've been there or not.
 
Whatever, you have your opinion on how to help someone with an eating disorder, I have mine. Having been there, I know that my reasons for binging & purging were different than yours. What helped you may not help anyone else.

I stand by my comments that we are not qualified to help this person & that she should be getting help from a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL NOT US.
 
Although a trained professional is very knowledgeable that does not mean they understand...my therapist himself has told me the same thing. He recomended talking to others who have been there...and it has made me feel better. It is possible we have different reasons for doing what we do but there are more simmilarities between bulimics than there are differences. Also I am already seeing a therapist so it cant hurt to also seek others' support. Speeking to Dani has already made me feel better and that I can overcome it...how can that be a diservice? I do respect your opinion...maybe speaking to other people with ED's didn't help you...I am sorry if it didn't but I feel like it can and will help me :)
 
Debbie,
I agree with Dani. Therapist may helped you but it does not help everyone. I didn't need a therapist to help me with my disorder. I had my mother and she pulled me out of that stance. I have not been anorexic for about 8 yrs now. You know why? Because what my mother said to me have always stuck in my head. Whenever I feel I need to starve myself, I think of what my mother said and I snap out of it. Also, talking to someone with same problems helps more than a therapist. Therapist have Ph.D and most of them even not all of them have not gone through what we have gone through. Frankly, I think some therapists are a waste of money. Apparently they didn't help you much all around.
Dani, just stick to your guns. Lisa, if you need to talk, just email me. I'll tell you what my mother said. It might help you out, too.

Lisa
 
I'd have to agree with those who say that thearapist don't always help. In my case they just make things worse. I had an ED too. Honesly, I think it's very rare that they are 100% cured.. meaning that you NEVER even THINK about them. In my case wht helped the most is to focus on other things and try your best not to focus on food.
I also agree that there has to by something emotional that leads to ED, and that is where a thearapist can help.. to find out what it is that caused ED and how to deal with these emotions.
It is extreamly hard to get over ED, so you have to give it your ALL. Try to be around people (friends/family), and doing things you enjoy. Also try to stay away from things that make things worse (if you know what they are). It won't take a day, a week, a month, maybe not even a year... but you will be able to stop this. You just have to be really strong and really want it.
If you ever want to talk you can e-mail me at [email protected] or if you have AIM, you can IM me at sweety7733.
Katia
 
Hi Lisa, I really can't say anything because Im not in your situation, but all I can do is pray for you, so I will keep you in my prayers. I do hope that you find someone that you can count on or trust that will help you get through this, I've been there for my sister who is bulimia. All I do for her is listen and not judge her. I know for her she been through so many different therapist, and still going to different therapist. Like for her either their not good or they are good but leave so she's back to square one. But I do know that therapist does help her when she does find's the right one that she feels comfortable with. Please don't give up, easy said that done, I know, but you are worth it. Take care:)
 
Hi Lisa, I know exactly how you are feeling. I felt the same way about 12 years ago. I was also bulimic, for a short time. I am completely recovered and have the best body image I have ever had. Here is what helped me to live a normal life and not let my life revolve around food. I, like you, thought about food all day long. The first thing I did was made a decision that I could never purge again (which you did). Then I made an appointment with a dietitian at a local hospital, insurance usually covers this. I set up weekly meetings with the dietitian. She taught me how to eat properly. She set up a realistic meal plan for me, and I was never hungry. After seeing her for about 3 mos. I still had a poor body image but didn't binge and purge anymore. Then I started changing my outlook towards food. I started having the mentality that I can eat whatever I want - in MODERATION. I stopped the behavior of eating some cookies and more cookies and then saying to myself "I will start eating healthy tomorrow". Now I eat less cookies in a sitting bec I know I can have them whenever I want - which prevents me from overeating. I begin eating when I was hungry - always, and stopping when I was satisfied - not full. Knowing that I could eat whenever I was hungry helped me a lot. These are the things that helped me, it was a long road, but you will be much happier once you get help. Once you realize it is ok to eat fattening foods, you will probably end up eating less verses eating as many as you can in a sitting. Good luck.
 
RE: My two cents worth...

I think that it is a good idea to talk to other sufferers who have had/have this problem - I would imagine the email option is the best - Deborah is correct in that a general public forum may not generate the best advice.

Anyway...my two cents worth..(my experience is dealing with my sister who has been bulimic/anorexic for the past ten years and training an elite marathoner who suffered a/b for five years and is recovered).

1. You must WANT to get better (sounds like you do :) ) - this may mean adding new behaviours and giving up old behaviours - this is easier said than done because eating disorders are all about control.

2. Personally, I believe a multidisciplinary approach is best - this may include a psychiatrist (who can prescribe medication - fluoxetine is of particular benefit in bulimia), dietician, therapist/counsellor/ family and friends. Try and work out the whys of the ED and some possible solutions...gently!

3. There will be slip ups along the way. This is where you need to forgive yourself and move on. These are the beginnings of putting down the roots of self love.

4. ED's are complex and serious issues and like clinical depression (that's me!) the journey is long and ardous, but success, even in small amounts is life changing.

Cheers,
Liz N
 
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