Parent - Job Description!

angie_nrs

Cathlete
PARENT

Job Description



This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,

I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!






POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Pa, Papa, Pop



JOB DESCRIPTION :



Long term, team players needed, for challenging

permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.



RESPONSIBILITIES :



The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.



POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :



None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you



PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :



None required unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.



WAGES AND COMPENSATION :



Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.



BENEFITS :



While no health or dental insurance, no pension,

no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.




Forward this on to all the


PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,

letting them know they are appreciated

for the fabulous job they do...

or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.





** AND A FOOTNOTE ?

THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!


**

If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!





GRANDPARENTS GET TO START OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
so THAT's why I didn't ever become a parent!

that's great Angie! Thanks for the smile! I'll pass it along to all the Parents I know! :)
 
So true!
And that last statement in small print....sadly true. My oldest boy and his GF are planning fur kids, not skin kids. They have names pick out, how they will groom, and what they will feed. I get grand dogs:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
My 13 year old doesn't think she'll have kids. She's still pretty young, of course, but she has a strong drive to write, play music, and travel. Children don't really fit into her picture.

She is planning to have dogs though. :) I told her I'd be more than happy to spoil my Grandpuppies. <3
 
LOL:D This is so true but I have to admit it has been the best job I've ever had!

Thanks for sharing.

JJ
 
I love this JD !

And . . . just like the job I am now paid for and many times do not like - I still get plenty of enjoyment out of the good times.

A positive outlook and revelling in the good things in life are totally realized when you are a parent.

I would feel totally dull if everything was good (or easy) and I had no challenges !

NO WAY ! Did I just say that? :eek:

I guess I look at it the same way I look at working out: It hurts sometimes, the DOMS can be annoying (yep, just try to get up from the toilet after doing GS Legs!).

Ahhhhh, but the looks and comments I get when I wear a tank top - and how I feel physically? Yep, all worth it !
 
;) that is too funny but so true! I am in the "alien" or teenage stage now, where aliens come and take my children and turn them into someone else. I am countin' the days, minutes, seconds until they go away! LOL
 

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