**ONE DAY AT A TIME FOR 2013**

Hello to all you wonderful people

Renee, I am glad to see you back here, and I am saying Hail Mary's for you every day.

Today I did Party Rockin Step but I did not do the challenge. The footwork for it is quite difficult, and I was amazed at how many box steps I did. Since I did not do the challenge, I did part of Low Impact Circuit.

I used High Reps for my back, bis and tris, and according to my Polar F4 Heart Rate monitor, I burned tons of calories. Actually, I do not thinnk it is going to work out with the bald guy, as he walked away when I had to pay for my allergy pills. I am seeing somebody called Colin now, and he is a personal trainer like me. My tris are fried now.

I could not figure out how to upload a photo of Colin, but it might be for the best as we are very new. I am seeing him this weeken d.
 
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Hi there

I hope all is well with you guys.
I just wanted to report I did rocking step 2 yesterday and today rock out lockout scrambled egg premix. It was nice
I like having the kickbox combo in the middle cause it was a way to increase the time but lower the impact I between so I can go hard in the beginning and the end.
Not wanting to depress u guys at all but I just still am not good I will be a mess for awhile. I am now on Prozac AND Xanax. It's cause my mind races a lot more. I mean geez I just lost my mom and just now started sleeping and thinking better about death but now it's back and worse. I play the wreck over and over in my mind I keep wishing I was there so I could have held him invade he was scared or needed me. I can't stand to think of where his body is at now. God I am sorry y'all. I am trying to get up go to work and carry on but very hard to smile when all I want is to crawl up into myself. When it hits me he ant coming home again my stomach just sinks like I'm on a roller coaster.
Okay enough of that.
My boss is being a bitch oops did I say that? Lol
 
There is nothing wrong with taking prozac and xanax

What happened to you is one of life's greatest stressors, and take what you need to get through it. I am an chronic insomniac,and I take sleeping medications. I am trying to figure out what I will do today.
 
Renee, I agree with Caitlin 100%!!! My mind simply cannot wrap itself around the blow to your heart that you have taken! My mother has not been gone a year yet, so I understand how tender your heart is in relation to that - but to lose one of my sons? My mind shrinks away from even thinking about it! & yet, you are having to live with it every second of every day, & I'm sure that every second without him feels like an eternity! So, you vent all you need to vent, & you help yourself in any way that you can!!! I may not answer you on a daily basis, because sometimes I simply don't know what to say. Your anguish is so raw, & words are only words - they seem a cheap offering to you in your pain...BUT, please know that I AM praying for you every day. You are on my mind all the time, wishing there were something, anything I could do to help lessen your pain! HUGS, sweet friend. I don't think that time heals all wounds. I do think that time allows scar tissue to form, so that it doesn't quite hurt so badly...May God kiss your sweet face today with his peace & love & give you a sign to comfort you.
 
Well tonight was okay till I laid down and i feel irritable, and I feel sad and lonely, and worried for Rocky (my other son)at the same time
Rocky had a date he had been looking forward to all week, and when he got home he was excited left five seconds later he came back he said she isn’t home yet, he still was smiling went in the house and started watching cartoons. He kept texting and getting text and I ask him I said is she still at work or what?
No she is at a birthday party wow okay so now I am fuming that this witch can do him this way again.
I don’t understand this.. Rocky has a tendency to get down and hard to get out of it and that on top of us grieving and him missing Ryan it can be to much . I am praying that God wont let anything bad happen to Rocky he needs to find him a good girl friend and get married and be happy.. I am not understanding why God isn’t allowing this to happen to my boys? Its like every other guy has a girl but ryan and rocky. Rocky is 25
Dang I keep wondering did I do something wrong? Did I do something to make a curse of being lonely come onto their life, or destruction? Really I am not getting any of this…
Then I go pray and I don’t even know what to say to God at the moment but "why? I know you are there you helped me in other ways surly that wasn’t in my mind, so if you are there talk to me tell me why you took Ryan, and if it is for a bigger purpose tell me.. make me understand talk to me give me a peace cause if I let myself let this fact about Ryan soak through I am not sure I can take it.." I mean even now at night I just want to go out into the dark and find Ryan I feel he is out there somewhere, he is out there I just need to go into the darkness and walk until I find him.. and I can bring him home.. It is so strange I don’t want to believe he is gone, when I do I am overwhelmed and I am scared of it.. I go jog I jogged four miles today without any problem I felt I could run run run til I find ryan or till my pain goes away
At the end of my run today I had imagined Ryan was at the top of the hill telling me I can do it even if it hurts my heart sprint hard till I make it to the top when I get to the top I will see him. I was kind of thinking maybe if I ran hard enough my heart would stop and that is what he meant, my heart would stop and Id be home with him.
But I cant I need to keep living I have another son who needs me and I just pray god protects Rocky from harm and he blesses him with a happy long life. I am sad but not as sad as I know I really am if that makes since.. I mean I know if I allow it I will sink deeper into the darkness and I wont be able to get out.. so at times I pretend Ryan is just out he has not came to visit yet.. but then I realize it at night and I am overwhelmed with a sick disgusting feeling in my belly.. I then have to breathe and pretend again go somewhere else im my mind cause if I except this It wont be good yet.
Okay I ran 3.9 that was almost 4 miles there and walked for a 1/2 so It was about four and a half miles, and I felt I could have kept going if it wasn't for I was suppose to stop. I am a mess I guess well anyway I did a butt bible upper body workout cause it was only 20 minutes.
 
Good for you for running over four miles

Yesterday, I did some hi lo, and I did lower body blast. I am supposed to see Colin today, but he has no car so it takes him two hours to get here and back. I don't know how long he is going to be able to do all this traveling.
 
Ok yesterday I did a 3 mile jog day before was butt bible and some cardio of HS
Today my step son and wife came for a visit and me n daughter n law went to the movies. It was nice

I hope all is going well
 
Hey there! I still haven't been working out because of my knee, but thought I'd stop in & say hello. Although the knee isn't painful any more, I still can't kneel on it at all, & it's surprising how often I kneel in either stretching, or working lower body...which is a bummer, because I couldn't wait to try Great Glutes, but of course, am still waiting!
Great job, Caitlin & Renee - glad to see you're still chugging away. Renee, I can't imagine the dark haze you're trying to navigate through right now in your life - I pray for you each & every day. HUGS!
 
I have a bum right knee

I have a bum right knee because of all the running I did, and I wear a heavy duty McDavid knee brace on it, and you can get them on Ebay. I don't know if that will help you. Yesterday, I did Pyramid from HIIT and Lower Body Blast. Pyramid was not that bad. Hello again to all you wonderful people, and I miss this check in.
 
Hello everyone,

Renee, I'm very sorry & hugs. Know you are in my prayers.

Caitlin, I'm happy to see you're working out when you can & I hope you
have more pain free days.

Jane, I hope your knees are doing better & you're "easing" your way back into
activity.

I'm still dealing with health issues & looking after the garden kept me busy in the summer. I hoping to go snowshoeing this winter, I'll have to see how it goes.
I haven't been checking in as I haven't had anything to check in with.

My prayers are with all of you & I'll try to check in more often

Take care & big hugs,
Cathy
 
Cathy

Thank you for ur words. Not much I can say on that well there's alot but I won't burden u down with all that.
It is great to hear from u and maybe we can get back to reg check in one day.
Hi Janie and Catlin
 
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