New peeve

>Well, as I said, flame war me if you want. I'm not saying
>he's not a good person, I'm saying there was something ironic
>about the paradox of the definition in b-ball players arms and
>how they are shown off in those jerseys, vs others when
>they're not. This gentleman put himself in the public eye to
>be seen. That doesn't in anyway mean he's not a nice or good
>person, and I'm sorry that those of you who would fan this
>flame think that's what I meant to say. I didn't think I said
>that at all. Oh never mind ladies, I'm sorry I said anything
>here.
>

Lorrie,
When I saw this thread, I understood it just as you've explained.
I remember *we all* had a good laugh at "muffin tops" one day, and it wasnt turned around into that we're unsulting those girls.
Dont be sorry you said anything. Some people are sensitive to some things. That's all.
 
I just returned from a cruise and I noticed a lot of people in very small clothes that weren't altogether the most flattering. I was completely amazed.

Honestly, I actually was jealous of them. I consider myself to be in very good shape but I have a few flaws I would love to change and am about 10 pounds from where I would like to be. I scrutinize over what to wear because I don't look "perfect" so I end up in clothes that are a little too big on me and not the most appealing. I would love to have the confidence to step out in whatever I wanted.
 
Oh I am so right there with you!! My weight puts me in the obese range and while I work out, I will probably never have that beautiful delt definition I referenced earlier! (Doesn't mean I won't continually try though!) But like you, I also always choose clothes that are probably too baggy - DH always blasts me for my own negative body image. I would love that confidence as well, but until I get there, I too choose the more reserved stuff. Ugh!

Lorrie

"Pain is temporary - quitting lasts forever"
Candace Grasso, CC-V-6
 
How long have you lived in Cleveland Lorrie? I moved here five years ago and live in Avon. It's funny how people who live east usually stay east and vice versa. I have never been more east than East 40th street downtown, lol.
 
Sometimes I hate this little message board and the fact that when you reply to a particular comment it ends up lost in the shuffle! I meant to respond to this:

"I think it's interesting that we preach a lot here for the need for self-acceptance and then don't bother practicing that with other people. Why are we so concerned with how anyone (or everyone) else looks?

I guess I don't understand why we spend so much time judging everyone else. On the other hand, what goes around does tend to come around, so..."

How true! At times some people on this board are often hyper critical of other people's lifestyles and eating habits, often deomonstrating their lack of knowledge or often just being flat out inconsiderate. I applaud each and every one of you for taking care of your bodies in a way that works for you whether you are vegan, eat raw food, eat dirt etc. No go practice a bit of compassion. Not all of us can be thin, trim, and stylish (although I of course am. LOL!) but maybe we can be compassionate to our fellow human!
 
Beavs,
You are absolutely right. I am definitley guilty of judging people when it comes to weight and how they look. I think that we all work so hard and it is definitley an obsession for a lot of us, that we assume that other people should feel that way too. I know so many people who are happy with the way they look and at peace with their image and their size and I think they should be applauded. I too get annoyed when I see someone too large wear something too small. I shouldn't get annoyed but I think it is just the way that my mind has been programmed. But, we all do need to learn to look beyond the outside and focus more on the inside and getting to know people before we judge. I think that a lot of the topics we bring up on this forum sometimes we need to think about who we may be offending and is it really of value to discuss. Anway, did not mean to go on and on, but just some food for thought.:)

Susan
 
I think the jersey is just an expression of his support for the team, or the player, or whatever sports people like about sports. Why should there be a rule against that kind of support? Having once been very fat myself, and having a fat but totally adorable husband, I have no prejudices against fat people whatsoever.
-Nancy
 
Susan,
I agree with you. I find myself judging people too but I try to remind myself that negativity contributes nothing good to the world. I find that when I make comments about the 300lb girl in a mini skirt that the negativity carries over into other areas of my life. When I have these moments I try to redirect my thinking to a more compassionate thought. Maybe the 300lb girl longs to be accepted and be like others. Sometimes I too need a reminder to be a little more considerate/compassionate.'
 
Judgmental statements hit this forum all the time! Here's one:
"I am new to the board and have seen messages for "clean eating" and I know this would not work for me or my spouse--simply too spartan."

Perhaps a more 'compassionate' way of thinking about it is just MAYBE a chunk of the women here don't care for the film-y, gaggy, crisco like feeling that comes with the consumption of Maggie Moo's...and other not so clean foods and actually enjoy...dare I say crave (speaking personally), healthier fare.

My point...let's be super careful about throwing tomatoes at someone for making judgmental statements when your guilty of it yourself! Now THAT is my pet peeve.

I feel quite certain that L Sass did not meant to hurt or offend anyone here.
 
Well said Sarah. I come to this message board knowing that I will probably disagree with things said here, and it usually doesn't bother me. I feel comfortable (for the most part), expressing my views to those who disagree as well. I don't do that to fan any flames, I do it to get a discussion going (much like the cleansing thread). Isn't that the point of the boards? Isn't that the point of interaction? L Sass was just pointing out something that was on her mind and it seemed to me to be totally harmless.

carolyn
 
Oh my goodness ladies. I really didn't mean for this to get so crazy. Honestly - had this gentleman been wearing a tank top it wouldn't have caught my eye at all. It was simply the irony of the arms ordinarily in those jerseys (ie a LeBron James) vs this gentleman's lack thereof. As I said, it was no commentary indicating that he's not a good person, etc.

I have since come to discover that there is a "fat man" group of dancers who support this basketball team - the larger, fatter, and more out of shape, the bigger the beer belly, the better as they squeeze into these jerseys or tee shirts. I personally don't go for aiming to be that out of shape (yes, sorry, a judgment on my part) to flaunt it, but God bless him if he does. I am truly sorry for being that judgmental and offending so many of you. I found it IRONIC - that's all.

Lorrie

"Pain is temporary - quitting lasts forever"
Candace Grasso, CC-V-6
 
Sarah, I couldn't disagree with you more. There is a huge difference between stating eating plan preferences and declaring that fat people shouldn't be allowed to wear certain kinds of clothes. Saying that an eating plan wouldn't work for you doesn't attack anyone and is just having a productive discussion. Saying that fat people shouldn't wear jerseys is just insenstive, mean-spirited, prejudiced and unproductive.
-Nancy
 
I think labeling clean eating lifestyles Spartan is judgmental. Subjective, I guess!

I just do not think it is fair to jump on someone for saying something viewed as judgmental when the very same people have made judgmental statements in other posts! Don't make me pull up more quotes because I know EXACTLY which thread to grab first.
 
All I was saying is that yes, we all are judgmental at times and that that is something I am personally going to work on and that we should all think about it. This really should not become a pissing match about who said what and when.

Susan
 
Susan, If you feel attacked by my statement, I apologize. I was not addressing you or your honest and sincere post. You've admitted to passing judgment but you also said you do everything to work on that. I think that is great! Perfect! What more can anyone ask?

It's when someone throws stones at others for being judgmental when they are judmental also. It's a double standard...as if to say 'you cannot judge someone based on that physical feature because it offends me. However, I (admittingly) judge others based on a different physical feature because it suits me.' That is what Nancy is saying.

As for a pissing match about who said what and when...I think every person here should speak from the heart, soul and with confidence. If you don't want those words brought back up, well sweetie, you shoulda kept your mouth shut!
 
FYI: This post is not aimed at anyone in particular.

I think that most of us are guilty of passing "judgement" on someone at some point in time for any number of reasons.

That being said...

I find it funny how when it's negative it's referred to as a "judgement" but when it's positive, I have never heard it referred to as such. In both cases though, it is an OPINNION and we are all entitled to our own opinnions, even if it does not agree with the others and/or will be considered controversial. More often than not, I think the way someone phrases thier "OPINNION" is what gets them into trouble more so than WHAT the opinnion is. There is also a difference between stating an OPINNION and just flat out flinging an INSULT.

Those are my thoughts I had on the subject. Everyone here had some good points. No one person was completely right nor completely wrong...They are OPINNIONS after all and we all know that there IS not right or wrong.:)

L Sass says she didn't mean to come off as judgemental, etc. and even though I admit I was upset by her post when I read it initially, I DO believe she meant no offense and that if she had phrased it in a different way, she could have gotten a VERY different reaction.

:)
 
Lorrie:

Just an observation - seems recently you have been on a judgemental superficial kick - whether or not people are wearing their hair down, how heavy people are dressing.

I think it's WAY MORE important to focus on what's INSIDE a person. You will miss out on some great people if you judge only on the superficial.

Not sure why this kick - but maybe it is because of something in your life going on that is having you focus on this negativity.
 
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