New peeve

Sarah, just to remind you, at one time I felt that I could not see myself being close friends with someone who put their appearance before their physical health because I was pretty sure that we would have opposing values and it wouldn't work out. That was the way I saw it then. My mother is an all-natural all-the-time freak, and I know I got that attitude from her. I posted in order to work on that issue, and have since expanded my horizons from "talking" with my Cathe board "friends". In any event, I never said that people shouldn't be allowed to do what they want to do. If there is anything I believe in, it's freedom of choice and I don't believe that there should be a rule against anything that doesn't hurt somone else.
-Nancy
 
I'm the one that said it and I don't recall that being directed as an insult---I didn't know that being "Rigorously self-disciplined or self-restrained" was insulting or attacking someone--I was just saying it didn't work for me. I won't take your comments personally, since according to you I musy eat Crisco all day, because I suppose you are having a bad day or terribly missing gaggy filmy Maggie Moos.
 
tappity tappity tap tap tap *jazz hands*



Live with sincerity, love with passion, and dance like you mean it.

Debbie
 
Imafitnessfreak:
"I think labeling clean eating lifestyles Spartan is judgmental. Subjective, I guess!"
Looking over the post I can see this is really on your mind, particularly since I made this comment in February, five months ago. I sincerely apoligize for having offended you as this has clearly struck a nerve. I do believe there is a big difference between calling someone fat and saying "hey, that diet is just too strict for me" but clearly I am mistaken and need to take more care of what I say. I wish you all the best.
 
Robyn, I have no idea what you're talking about - I've never made any comments on anyone's hair, and it quite honestly wasn't about how "heavy people are dressing" but rather how one gentleman who apparently strives to be as unhealthy as possible attempts to squeeze into a logo shirt that is equated with very fit athletes. Did I find it unattractive to look at? Absolutely. Would I rather look at a cut basketball player in that shirt? No doubt. Do I have a bias toward beautifully defined muscles? Guilty. That doesn't mean I think or was commenting on this person's moral fortitude or character. I'm sorry that offends you - truly I am. But please don't equate me with the other comments you are referring to. Have a great day.

Lorrie

"Pain is temporary - quitting lasts forever"
Candace Grasso, CC-V-6
 
Lorrie,
It it's any consolation, I think we are all guilty of making less than positive comments and having our own biases. I'll go on record as saying that maybe we can all strive to be a bit kinder and focus on the positive, myself included, and I hope that my comments to that regard will not be taken as a personal attack against you or anyone else.
Peace.
 
>Judgmental statements hit this forum all the time! Here's
>one:
>"I am new to the board and have seen messages for "clean
>eating" and I know this would not work for me or my
>spouse--simply too spartan."
>
>Perhaps a more 'compassionate' way of thinking about it is
>just MAYBE a chunk of the women here don't care for the
>film-y, gaggy, crisco like feeling that comes with the
>consumption of Maggie Moo's...and other not so clean foods and
>actually enjoy...dare I say crave (speaking personally),
>healthier fare.
>
>My point...let's be super careful about throwing tomatoes at
>someone for making judgmental statements when your guilty of
>it yourself! Now THAT is my pet peeve.
>
>I feel quite certain that L Sass did not meant to hurt or
>offend anyone here.


Sarah,

What are Maggie Moo's? With all the talk of crisco and "moo"...I am thinking of a heffer. LOL!

Charlotte~~
 
Toasty - Maggie Moo's is an ice cream chain. A pretty darn good one, too. Not that I partake....:9 }( :p !

Wendi
 
I was not offended by anything anyone has said in the recent or distant past, on this forum, ever. The judgmental statements that Nancy has made did not bother me and the comments Beavs made came no where close to stricking a nerve. That does not mean the words out of their mouths did not catch my attention! When you introduce yourself to a health and fitness forum and state that you cannot imagine living a clean diet lifestyle, and continue to suggest that doing so involves living a life of deprivation, it's going to catch someone's attention.

If I were to come on this very forum and say that I cannot imagine eating crap, I do not see how people can continue to poison their bodies with unhealthy food and beverage, consume fast food, or say I have no idea why anyone would not exercise on a regular basis...a flame war would start. For the record, I am not saying these things...just making a point.

Since it is on the brain...I might as well add that I am not super sure where the "Judgment" is in L Sass's original post! She said she didn't like how he looked in his tiny top. She never suggested anything about his personality, his lifestyle, his character...just that a heavy man wearing a sports jersey seemed to be a contradiction....and a bit snug. What if that very same man was wearing a "Cathe" tank? Or what is he was wearing a "P90X Bring it" tank? I am not at all saying he cannot or shouldn't...but would it catch your eye?

To say we do not place judgment based on appearance...or shouldn't...is just...well, it makes me shake my head. Should we? No. Do we? Yes...all of us. Think about it...we are encouraged to keep a neat, tidy appearance because the visual makes the first impression. If that were not true, why did you shower this morning before going to work? Why did you bother to comb your hair? Can you honestly say that the absolute 100% reason why you watch your diet and exercise is for internal health? If it did absolutely nothing for your external then would still do the diet and exercise? We take care of our outside because we all know darn well that the appearance makes the first impression...and the impression made is a judgment made.
 
Sarah,
I so agree with everything you just said. With that said, I don't appreciate being patronized or called sweetie and being told to keep my mouth shut. I found that to be hurtful and uncalled for.

Susan
 
Susan, You totally misunderstood my statement. For that, I apologize. I was not at all telling YOU to keep your mouth shut. To be totally honest, I have yet to see you ever say anything that you cannot be proud of. What I meant by the statement was that if someone...anyone....has a problem with their words being brought up at a later date, then they probably should not be saying those words to begin with.
 
I apologize for taking things so personally. I tend to to be a tad bit sensitive, something I really need to work on. Nuff said from me


Susan:)
 
"When you introduce yourself to a health and fitness forum and state that you cannot imagine living a clean diet lifestyle, and continue to suggest that doing so involves living a life of deprivation, it's going to catch someone's attention."

I thought this was a message board for Cathe enthusiasts, no anyone adhering to any particular diet since different things work for different people. I don't follow a strict clean diet so maybe I am in the wrong place.

Nearly all of us make judgements about appearances and I think the point was to remind ourselves to take a step back and rethink what we say write, and think about ourselves and others (some were less diplomatic than others in their wording). BTW, if I had known that one of my offhanded comments about my lack of dietary fortitude would be plucked from obscurity for a flame war I would have most certainly kept it to myself. Again, my intent was not to cause offense. All the best.
 
"I thought this was a message board for Cathe enthusiasts, no anyone adhering to any particular diet since different things work for different people. I don't follow a strict clean diet so maybe I am in the wrong place."

No no Beavs!! You are not in the wrong place at all. People here have all different kinds of eating plans and there is a wide variety. I could not disagree with Sarah more about that. This is a place for people to share their ideas and get input and have fun. Lots of people here have problems and issues with clean eating. You do not have to be perfect to be here. None of us are. Please don't go!! Stay! :D
-Nancy
 
"BTW, if I had known that one of my offhanded
>comments about my lack of dietary fortitude would be plucked
>from obscurity for a flame war I would have most certainly
>kept it to myself. Again, my intent was not to cause offense.
>All the best. "

My two cents for Beavs: You are certainly allowed your opinions and the boards certainly are for Cathe enthusiasts above all. That said, I have noticed that you (among others of course) have made several very negative and/or defensive comments about vegans/veganism/eating "clean". So, perhaps this isn't such an "offhand" comment? I mean, do and say whatever you like. I know you won't be persuaded to change your mind about these issues or about those of us who feel strongly about them. likewise your negativity towards veganism doesn't make me feel less sure its value. actually, the opposite is true because I am stubborn! But saying that your comment is offhand doesn't strike me as true. and if others notice your "attitude" and find it a little insensitive or whatever, maybe it's not so appropriate here or conducive to productive and positive communication. just saying...
amy
 
OMG - it was almost off the page. Oh well - I found the link that shows one of the men I saw - hope it links. http://aol.nba.com/cavaliers/news/beefcake_041220.html

I know you all will flame me again, but I had to show you what I meant. I do think this is such an antithesis of what is usually in those shirts. But since you revived the page ...

Lorrie

"Pain is temporary - quitting lasts forever"
Candace Grasso, CC-V-6
 
No Amy, I am not vegan, I don't adhere to a strict diet but I certainly support others who do provided the respect is in kind. In my experience I have been on the receiving end of the negativity because I am not vegan. I think all that was said in the past but at this point who cares I suppose.
 
I have two feelings about this thread and our criticism/defense of fat men. First of all, women's bodies have been judged by everyone forever. It isn't fair that men have always had more leeway than women do. At the same time, I just think its better to keep our nasty judgements to ourselves when it comes to both men's and women's physical shortcomings. My DH is a VERY big man (tall & overweight, also v. muscular). He tries not to wear inappropriate or unflattering clothes, but it isn't always clear to men (and many women too) what this means. And he is the nicest most gentle person I have ever known. I hate to think that people who don't know him and don't know what an amazing person he is are judging him. Some fat people hate how they look nomatter what and don't see the point of trying to camouflage their bodies. And fat people simply have fewer choices when it comes to clothes. And if someone doesn't care how they look, who are we to wish they had more shame and would cover up for our sake? Who are we to make these judgements? How would you feel if people felt so grossed out just looking at you? Maybe your disgust here is misplaced. If you don't like what you see, don't look. We are all human, we all have feelings, and I'm pretty sure that all of us have made and continue to make unwise choices in fashion.
amy
 
This thread has been really bothering me. It makes me think of my SIL who has metastatic breast cancer. Her face and body are swollen and puffy from the steroids that she takes to reduce the inflammation in her brain caused by a brain tumor. It makes me so sad to think that someone would look at her and think "YUK" and think that she didn't have the right to wear a sports jersey or a Cathe shirt or whatever she wants to wear because she doesn't look fit. :-(

I think that sports organizations are happy to have fans no matter what their size. If they didn't want extra-large people wearing their jerseys, then they wouldn't make those sizes. Why shouldn't larger fans have the right to wear something that shows their support for the team? Or, can they only wear things that cover up their bodies?

Also, what about the people with problems that aren't as visible as being overweight such as drug abusers, alcoholics, smokers, etc.? They may not know what a deltoid is either - is it ok for them to wear the jerseys just because they are a smaller size?

Erica
 
>No Amy, I am not vegan, I don't adhere to a strict diet but
>I certainly support others who do provided the respect is in
>kind. In my experience I have been on the receiving end of the
>negativity because I am not vegan. I think all that was said
>in the past but at this point who cares I suppose.

I'd apologize for being negative towards you for not being vegan, but I never did that and I never would do that. And I'm not saying that you said I did do that. However, I can't say that you haven't reacted negatively towards posts I made regarding veganism. But I understand your frustration. I'm always sad when vegans put non-vegans down. I think it's pretty rare though, and that the sterotype is mostly exaggerated. (I mean this in real life, not here.) Often I think the reputation comes from non-vegans' defensiveness when confronted with veganism. As a non-vegan, you are in the majority here. That should be of some comfort. All I'm saying is that I've noticed the negativity too. Quite a bit actually. And I think that this kind of negativity towards others (not just vegans) serves no purpose on the forum. it's a common occurence, and i'm sorry to single you out. but like i said, i noticed it, and this kind of thing is not cool and is the biggest reason that I come here less and less and mostly choose to be in "lurkdom". this could be my problem of course. maybe i'm too much into playing nice and just not tough enough to cut it around here!
Amy
 
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