My sad story

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
I've hit rock bottom, and I think I'm going to give up strength training altogether, even though I was loving it. For decades, I was 5'3" 115 lbs. and now that I have been exercising a lot for 6 months my weight has increased substantially. And I don't just mean the weight on the scale, which I realize can be meaningless. I have gone up almost 2 dress sizes and obviously have a lot more fat on my body, NOT just muscle.

It seems that exercising has given me a new-found appetite that I didn't even realize I didn't have before. And even though I probably need a few more calories now, it's hard to stop at just a few I guess. Anyway, I have noticed that I've been turning down social and even work engagements because I feel awful about being bigger. And my confidence is gone. I don't enjoy doing the things I used to enjoy when I thought I looked better. The truly weird part is, I'm probably much healthier now.

My mother has a friend who lived on lettuce, coffee and diet coke all of her adult life and who is in a nursing home now unable to walk without breaking a bone and who is a pitiful sight to behold. But, hey, she was slim and looked great in her clothes! That's all she cared about, and she ruined her health because she was very insecure and NEEDED to be slim.

I'm tired of fighting off all these food cravings all day every day. It's zapping all my energy just to control myself and I can't concentrate on anything. I want to go back to having a small appetite and eating like a bird. I realize I'm going to end up in a nursing home with brittle bones, but I don't know what else to do. I just can't take this anymore. I've got to stop exercising. I've hit rock bottom.
 
I understand parts of your pain. For darn near a year I did Yoga and Step only or some racewalking too. I just got tired of weights I think if nothing else.

Well, I got the new series which I do love to jolt myself back into weights again. With just 2-3 times a week I have to admit my hunger has increased a lot from the weight training. I've not gained any weight so far but still I don't like that.

Hope some people have some ideas for us.

Edith
 
Hi Nancy!

It sure can be discouraging, huh? Have you tried to shake up what you do normally or have you tried that already? I know this isn't a nice thought, but it DOES get harder the older we get. I was very discouraged this past year or so watching my mid section change drastically. (with no change in diet, other then it is better the past year or so then it ever has been! Go figure!) I was always a "tucker-inner" with my T-s and spandex shorts at class. Not sure how old you are but midlife does change us somewhat. I am not letting it defeat me though. I will continue to do the best I can and I do see slight changes here & there. BTW, your pix is beatiful and I bet you are being waaaay too hard on yourself. I know many will have their thyroid tested if they see drastic changes. Just an idea. Keep at it girl, it all will pay off even if it's all the inside benefits. (heart, lung, circulation, strong bones) You look great!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_klein_1/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
RE: Hi Nancy!

Deb-
I'll be 47 in March. :-( The picture was taken in May 2001 before I started exercising, when I was 45 and 115 lbs. I want to go back to how I looked in the picture!!! I can't believe this exercise that I love is making me so miserable.
 
Hi Nancy,

I hate to see anybody give up exercise since it does have health benefits in the long run. Could your age be playing a part in all of this, the weight gain, and appetite? Or maybe your thyroid, menopause or the many other factors that happen as we age? I have actually given up on losing weight and am trying and succeeding in being happy the way I am. I do not want to spend the rest of my life dieting or trying to diet when this time around it is not working. I am 39 and perimenopausal which factors in alot. Your body may just have found a weight that it is comfortable at, at the moment and nothing you do will change that, possibly not even giving up exercise. All the muscle you have gained will go away and turn to flab, I KNOW you do not want that?!!:eek: Have you had your percent body fat done recently, maybe you are not as bad off as you might think. And even if you do decide to give it up and live on lettuce, coffee and diet coke, add some calcium tablets or something so you don't get the brittle bones and end up in a nursing home unable to walk. Protein is supposed to lessen hunger I thought maybe you could up your protein and cut out the carbs. If you are eating healthy things then I don't see how you are gaining weight. Drink plenty of water when you get hungry also and that might help cut down on the amount you are eating. You have probably heard all this before but it is worth saying again, if it works to jolt you off the bottom of your rock quarry.

Hope I helped some,
 
RE: PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

Nancy, thank you for posting. I sincerely think you don't want to give up; I think you're just at a loss. If you give up exercise and strength training you WILL end up in a nursing home with brittle bones, or far far worse. Please, please reconsider.

There's more to life than being "slim", and far more to life than being at a perceived ideal body weight / size.

PLEASE post here what your recent exercise program is. I think what is needed here is some good roundabout suggestions about how to re-tool your program to maintain good cardiovascular health, good strength AND good emotional status.

Come back!

A-jock
 
Wait!

Let's try something first. I also have more of an appetite when I am working out than when I am not working out. But, I have found the answer for me. If I workout too much then my eating is out of control. If I workout at what would be too little for most my eating is good and I look and feel good.

Do you mind letting me see your schedule for the past 2-4 weeks? You can email me if you want. I usually only do 2-3 weight sessions and 3 cardios a week. The weeks that I stick in another cardio, or try to follow some of the rotations that others do is when I start eating the junk AND the good stuff!

Don't get me wrong, I have a sweet treat everyday, and I am not super strict about dieting.

How do you feel at the weight you are at? Do you feel fit and have energy? Or do you feel tired and fat? The way you look in the mirror and the way you feel inside matter A LOT. I can talk a bit more about that too. I look forward to hearing from you.

Andrea
 
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I went through something similar a little while back. I have always been an exerciser, and about two and a half years ago, I put on a substantial amount of weight although I was still working out and watching what I ate. I tried everything. I did Weight Watchers, journaled, tried giving up carbs, wheat, sugar, and every other food group. No change. I finally hit rock bottom and did give up exercising; however, it didn't last long. I hated the way I felt, so I made a pact with myself. I would keep exercising (cardio and weights) because I liked the way I felt when I did. I liked that I felt strong, that I wasn't winded going up a flight of stairs, and the sense of accomplishment after completing a workout. I promised that I'd do it for the health, and if this was the weight that my body wanted to stay at, I would accept it and accept myself. Guess what? I'm now down 2 sizes, and though not what some would consider "ideal," I think I am healthier both physically and mentally, because I changed the emphasis from the external to the internal, and I think I'm a better person for it. Just a thought . . . Good luck to you. I know it can be really difficult.
 
RE: Hi Nancy!

Nancy - I've read that as we get close to menopause, our body stores fat in our belly areas. This is to protect our bones. I'm not sure if that's what's going on with you or not. Maybe there's something amiss with your thyroid? Have you seen a doctor and had a physical? If I were you, I would just to be sure. Something must be behind your increased appetite.
If you love exercise, CONTINUE doing it. I know that gaining weight is a bummer, but exercising is doing you GOOD, despite the increased appetite. If you stop working out, your self-esteem might plummet even more.
Try to think long term. Maybe do as someone else suggested and change your workout regime for awhile (maybe do more cardio or circuit training for six weeks?). Don't be focused on the extra pounds now. Instead, think of your strong heart and strong muscles. I'd rather have a little extra cushioning and be strong than be one of those skinny chicks who have no curves. Most importantly, remember that beauty comes from INSIDE. As long as you treat other people well, that's really all that counts. Don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy your life!!! Don't cut yourself off from your friends just because you've put on weight. They care about YOU, not how you look and if they are true friends, they won't think poorly of you for having gained weight. We've all been there, right? Enuf said!!! Suzanne
 
Nancy,
Can you just give it a bit longer? Maybe two more months until your body evens out? Maybe it was used to starvation, and now is really enjoying food! Give it some time to acclimate. I understand the freaking out over weight gain, believe me. I've lived my whole life that way. How about adding more cardio? Or having Francine make you some fabulous kick-a$$ rotation? Jillybean lost two dress sizes from a CTX rotation. I'm just trying to make reasons for you to continue. If it makes you healthier and feel better it must be doing something positive. I say just take a vacation from the work and see how you feel.
Dawn
 
Everyone here has already given the best advice..

Please don't give up Nancy!! While I know it can be really discouraging when the ol bod doesn't want to match up with the inside...especially when you feel like you are working SO hard... remember, it is always better to be strong and healthy than to be thin. Thin does not always equate with better fitness or health!!

When you say you are "losing it" with your eating and that it is a constant struggle, what do you mean?? I mean, we all have some bad habits. For instance, while I tend to eat very well as far as meals go, I have this horrible ice cream thing that just gets me every time. Sometimes I can eat ice cream after dinner for several nights in a row..and not just ice cream, but ice cream with white and dark chocolate chips sprinkled on and peanut butter!!!! Of course, I eat this after a relatively "clean" dinner and feel like an utter failure. Sometimes I feel really bad but most of the time I laugh it off. I am, however, maintaining my weight at the very least. But I don't let it bug me too much and I remind myself that I am not a fitness competitor, you know? I just want to be pretty healthy but I still want to have fun in my life. How far do you want to go in the pursuit of thinness or fitness??

Maybe you are just having a really down day. Reevaluate your eating. Is it EVERY meal that goes down the drain or just a few snacks (like me) that are becoming huge problems for you?? If it is every meal, I would have to suggest maybe some outside help in determining why you are eating like you are??

Sorry I could not be more helpful. Hope you stay with it!! Maybe you just need more cardio..I know you had said that it was an issue with you...

Janice
 
Nancy -
Cheer up! Don't give up! Maybe you should just decrease strength training. Maybe just do one total body workout per week and then do cardio, yoga the rest of the days for awhile!

I too am struggling with trying to eat healthy! It is soooo hard! Hang in there!

Maybe you just need a break???

Cyber hugs to you! :+
 
Hi Nancy.

By the look at all the posts, your "sad story" could belong to a lot of us here on the forum. I noticed you posted that you are 47 -- could it be your estrogen level? I spent my 43rd and 44th years wondering why I was living on donuts, chocolate, potato chips, and exercising fanatically to compensate for it. Finally found out at age 45 that I was, indeed, in the menopause. Just knowing has been incredibly empowering, and strangely, freeing for me. I opted to not use HRT yet, though I am not opposed to it, and have been concentrating on getting plenty of calcium in my diet, adequate sleep, and exercising -- moderately. So far the results have been excellent: less irritable days, better eating habits and food choices, and -- ta da -- weight loss. (I think its all the non-fat milk, tofu, and yogurt maybe? Something about boosting up one's calcium intake...) ;-)

Don't know if this is encouraging to you but please don't stop exercising completely. You'll stress out even more by not working out. (I know I always do. Bet most of the forum does, too.)

Ann
 
I'm sorry for what's happening to you. I have to put in my two cents, too. I apologize if this is a duplicate of something someone else has said. I haven't had time to read all the posts this a.m.

The advice I'd like to pass on: Eat more protein/fewer carbs

Someone on the Weight Watchers site gave me this same advice, and it was like a miracle for me. I was ALWAYS starving. And I guess my body WAS starving, quite literally, for more protein (I'm a vegetarian). When I cut the carbs and upped the protein--voila! No more hunger! Try it, please, before you give up!
 
RE: Please, don't stop the exercise......(LONG)

Nancy,

I felt the same at Christmas, strength training and cardio, and eating pretty clean too, I couldn't lose weight ! I felt miserable over Christmas, I have been picking up since January, thanks to my big kick up my a$$, but please don't stop exercising, believe me you will feel worse, I know I do when it all goes pear shaped.

You know what I am doing right now, I have shook up my rotation (and started WW's), I have gone back to low impact cardio (mainly Kathy Smith, Karen Voight, Kari Anderson, and Kickboxing), because I know
I burn fat easily doing a lower impact form of cardio. Strength wise, I do 1 bodypart per day for 10 -15 minutes per week (which I love)

Here is an example:

MON: 45 minutes low impact cardio + chest
TUES: 45 mins Kickboxing + biceps
WED: 45 mins step/cardio/kickbox + triceps
THURS: 45 mins step/cardio/kickbox + back
FRI: 45 mins cardio/kickbox/step + shoulders
SAT: Leaner Legs
SUN: Rest

Abs are worked using any of Cathe's ab routines, 4 times a week. I try and stick to mainly plank work (many thanks to Annette for the plank advice), as 3 pregnancies have left my ab muscles ravaged. I get better results with them anyway.

I would try increasing your cardio, but go for some one else other than Cathe, but use Cathe for body parts. I do in my week still throw a Cathe step routine, or CK's, or Kickbox, but I have discovered my shins and knees can't cope with full on Cathe. Like Honeybunch posted the other day, I want to be able to still be doing this in 20 years time.

I would seriously think about WW's too, WW's and keeping a food diary of my WW's points, has giving me back some kind of control over my eating. I was keeping a food diary before but not really acknowledging what I was eating ? I am the type of person that needs control, because if I feel out of my depth in life, I can't handle it, and sink into one of Anna's deep, dark ditches. Unfortunately, a by-product of a 7 year annorexia stint, but hey, control keeps me sane ! Since piling on weight due to pregnancies, I have felt out of control for the past 7 years, and miserable to boot. If my eating goes to pot, then so do I. And yes, I have been in therapy for it, but it never made much difference, I am who I am. But, over the past couple of weeks, WW's has given me back my control, and I feel hapier, and I am enjoying counting the points. I actually now kind of have to plan what I am shovelling in, instead of just eating. Here I go, I am not making much sense now !
I am allowed 22 points a day (plus there are extra points for workouts, if you need them) because I am overweight. I am not hungry on WW's, most vegetables are free points, fruit is low in points too. Depending on what the type of food it is, and how much fat is in it, gives it a pointage value. WW's also teach you how to maintain afterwards too.
If you are craving foods, then keep good foods with you, fruit springs to mind, it is sweet and satisfying, low in points. Choose food types that are slow releasing energy foods, that will keep you satisfied longer. For TTOTM cravings, I have been eating those low salt rice cakes, in between meals (easy to carry around with you, and are only 25 calories a piece).

Please reconsider Nancy, you have been doing great for 6 months (that is half a year !!!), check out www.collage.com and have a look at their choice in cardio videos. I think I remember you have a step, start off with something easier than Keli Roberts, there are plenty out there (12 years ago I started out with a beginner tape, when step first came out, just to get used to the moves) , and start on a 4 inch step. I get a great cardio workout at 4 " 's, you will still be working your heart, and burning fat.

Let us know what you decide upon......Good Luck !

Anna :)
 
RE: Please, don't stop the exercise......(LONG)

Anna- What a sweet post. You are such a caring person.

Nancy- These people are so wonderful, I think you should post your rotations before you give up!!!! They will steer you in the right direction. Plus, your body is probably gaining muscle that you never had, and is slow to lose the fat. It just might slide off one day, and VOILA!!!! You will be so happy with what you have!!! Best of luck to you.
Lori S.
 
I have an advice

I know that feeling . the body is hungry for protain .
but like most people we love carbs and fat over protain so you keep eating those foods but thats not what the body really need so we keep getting more hungry , eat things that we do'nt need and our body getting fat .
if we succeed in eating only more protain ( and a lot more because our body needs it ) we would'nt get fat at all . but it's tough to change our eating habits and eat things we do'nt love ......
 
Please don't give up the exercise. It gives a mental boost as well as many physical benefits. I am the strongest I have ever been and I really noticed it when I was gardening or doing everyday activities that would have been difficult without such conditioning.
I am 5'1" and 150 pounds give or take and fit into a size 8 petite. I teach aerobics and weight training and am a pear shape with about 20 pounds to lose give or take 5 pounds. I love the healthy feel I now have even though I feel I still need to lose weight (not in a hurry right now - on a break from all that). I have been size 2 and 115 pounds myself (once when I was 21) but was not healthy at that weight and realize now that my lowest acceptable weight should be around 130-135.

I don't want to give food advice. I am not a nutritionist (yet but it is on my goal list for the future). I have been trying to eat smaller meals throughout the day with protein and smart carbohydrate (fiber is needed) and smart fats too of course (need that for my good cholestrol to stay higher). I never had a small appetite. I can eat pretty much what I want and not lose weight so I have been practicing my acceptance of the plateaus which, IMHO, is the behavior we all need to develop in order to maintain our weight loss once we have achieved goal.

Take a break from your strength workouts for a bit and then add back in gradually when you are ready. Take every other day off and just have fun with what you do. You enjoy weight training so why not do it? Just do a little less of it until you figure out what will work for you to eat healthfully and workout without gaining.

Good Luck!
Sheila
 
Hi Nancy! I know you feel so terribly discouraged right now because you see your efforts for naught. Please oh please don't give up!! Due to all your increased weight lifting you've packed on much more muscle & the body needs to adjust itself. Have you taken my suggestion earlier on in another post by eating a bigger lunch & a small dinner? Were you able to eat 5-6 small meals a day? I haven't read all of the posts here so I hope I'm not duplicating something that's already been said. Weight training is SOOO beneficial to your body. I won't allow you to give up!!:D Let me know what your eating & maybe we can tweak this a bit. Best, Kathy:*
 
Life is NOT a dress size!

How do you feel while exercising? Are you feeling stronger? Do you have more energy?

Isn't that more important than what the scale says? What size of clothes you buy? BTW, you cannot trust the sizing labels. I, sometimes, am off up to four sizes, depending on designer and pants/or dress/or skirt.

I have been exercising for six years. I went from flabby to muscular - but my measurements haven't really changed (and I measure me a lot because I am making my own clothes). With clothes on, people cannot really see that I am fit, that I changed, but that changes if I put a bathing suit on.

Don't give up! You health, body are too important.
 
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