My poor DS is getting bullied at summer school!

pjlippert

pjlippert

Cathlete
OMG!!!! My darling little boy just told me this morning that he has been getting bullied at summer school!!!! :mad::mad::mad: He said that some kids have been picking on him, throwing Legos at him and calling him a baby and a scardy cat!!!!!!!!!:mad::mad::mad: I asked him how long this had been going on and he said for a few weeks now which is why he doesn't want to go there too often!! HE is usually the one who takes the lead and is considered tough... but the Montessori school mixes kids of many ages and it was some of the older kids bugging him!! My son said he thought he could handle it because he's strong.

I was fuming mad!!!!!!! We went to the school and talked to the Director AND Assistant Director. I let them know that Randy has talked to ALL of the teachers and NOTHING has been done about it until now. The "perps" have been moved into another classroom. And both the Director and Asst. Dir. were silently fuming about the teachers not doing anything.

Apparently the rat-pack has been wreaking havoc like crazy and have been repremanded and moved to different classrooms.

I got to my car after talking with them and just bawled my eyes out-like hysterically because I felt sooo bad for him :(:( !! I feel terrible that he hasn't mentioned it sooner. I did have a talk with one of the teachers earlier this month about two kids being mean to Randy and that was resolved. But somehow a new group of bullies formed!!!

Tomorrow is his last day at the school - he swears he wants to go because he enjoys it most of the time and he wants to finish his soccer camp.

OMG!!! I can't BELIEVE that bullying starts at such a young age!!! He's only 7!!! What the hell are the parents doing at home when they get reports about it? When my DS has been mean to somebody we sit down and talk about it, how it feels and how those kids might not want to be friends with him if he's mean. Then I make him write an apology note and give a hug/handshake in front of the teacher!

Okay, I just needed to vent! Gonna go kick my butt now with B&G and burn off some steam!

Pam
 
I am glad your son told you about the problem he was having at school. Sometimes kids don't want to tell because they don't want to be considered a snitch or make the situation worse. I am proud of your son for getting parental help when he realized that he was not able to solve the problem himself. Our kids are so precious to us and I would have been crying too at the thought of my child being bullied. I am an educator too so I realize how this can impact a child when they are at school.
 
pjlippert said:
.
OMG!!! I can't BELIEVE that bullying starts at such a young age!!! He's only 7!!! What the hell are the parents doing at home when they get reports about it?
Click to expand...

Pam it starts a lot younger than 7. Trust me. This sucks, . . I know. As the mother of a child with autism I share the frustration and the hurt. Unfortunately the parents won't care because they feel that their kids are perfect angels. I hate to say this but I've always believed that there is really no such thing as bad kids, . . .but there are a ton of bad parents out there.
Butts and Gutts is really a great prescription. Sending you hugs
 
Pam,
I am so sorry! Hugs to you and your son! You should be very proud of him for telling you and for having a good relationship with him that he feel comfortable telling you things.

I have no advice, but I want to wish you guys peace. That is a terrible situation.
 
Ohhhh, you are all sooo sweet!! Thank you very much for the hugs & support. I am just astonished that it starts younger than 7!! I gave him a great big hug and told him how brave he was for telling me. When I asked him why he didn't say anything sooner he said exactly what some of you had said, he was afraid that the bullies would be even meaner to him.:(:( He was also worried that other kids wouldn't like him for "tattling". :(:(

Thank you all again sooo much! We've never been through this kind of thing and it's quite heart-breaking. I agree, I'm sooo glad that he finally came forward and told me.

You are all so awesome!
Pam
 
Oh my goodness, yes, I was bullied when I was 6 because I was a fat kid. It went on until I was 12 and learned how to project more self-confidence, but it definitely marked me. Kids can be very cruel. I never told my parents because I figured they would just tell the principal and the teachers, then the bullies would get in trouble, then I would get huge backlash. So that is great that your son is comfortable to talk to you about it and trusts you to help him, rather than make things worse! You'll get through this as a team.

My daughter is also 7 and has had some on-and-off trouble with bullying, other kids saying they don't want to be her friend, etc. Fortunately it seems to have died down, at least for now.

Stebby
 
I would be devastated. There is so much bad parenting. But I've also noticed that "pack mentality" where kids normally would never behave like that individually. My daughter is on the autism spectrum as well and starting 4th grade. I"m dreading it.
 
jcm said:
I would be devastated. There is so much bad parenting. But I've also noticed that "pack mentality" where kids normally would never behave like that individually. My daughter is on the autism spectrum as well and starting 4th grade. I"m dreading it.
Click to expand...

Hey jcm. My son will be starting 4th grade too. That is such a great way to describe it "pack mentality." They feed off the weak because they think it is so funny and because it elevates their status amoung their friends. I think it is often like a drug to them they get a "high" off it and become addicted, . . numbing the feelings of compassion. It sickens me. I worry so much about how my son will handle 4th grade because I've noticed that all the other kids are starting to form their own "packs."
 
Pam - I know it's painful to see your child hurt and there's nothing you can really do since you can't be there every moment, but it says a lot about his strength and confidence that he did feel that he could handle it. Kudos to Randy for trying on his own and to you for raising him so well! You should be proud, not just about his attempts, but also that he's so comfortable letting you know what's going on in his life! I take my hat off to him to for wanting to go for the last class when it would be so easy to just stay home!

I was a military brat growing up, so I can sympathize with being bullied and picked on. It was never-ending, let me tell you! You either grew a thick skin or you were in trouble!

Stay strong for him Pam! You've done great!
 
My DS started getting picked on in preschool so yeah, it starts early. He has learning & social issues and I've learned to steer clear of Montessori programs as they are too loosey-goosey for my son. I know they encourage creativity & free play, but they can also attract kids w/ discipline issues who had problems following rules in regular school programs.

I did a couple of play programs at our local Montessori school and there was one older kid who was grouped w/ all the younger kids (based on his abilities). Not surprisingly, he terrorized all the younger kids likely because he resented being put w/ the little kids! The teachers were so busy baking cakes & creating new sensory learning experiences w/ the little ones, they totally missed the older kid hurling wooden blocks at unsuspecting kids. :confused:

Joan (JP44)
 
This stuff makes me sick, everything for the most part is a learned behavior by copying something/someone. I don't have kids, and my heart breaks for the parents whose children goes through this, honestly this is on my list of reasons for not having children, I know I would not handle it well. I know how I react to threatening situations, and it would not be pretty.

I do think there are some kids who are just bad, but I think they are the minority, and this behavior either comes directly from the parents, or simply because the parents do nothing to curb it.
 
It is very good that your son is able to talk with you. As a teacher of young children we see problems like this often. What is important is to teach your child what to do when situations happen. In the case of leggos being thrown at him it is imperative that you step in. Other times, children need to just have the tools to know what to do when feelings get hurt and how to deal with bullies. Most schools have a bully proofing program. Without these skills, they rely on parents to rescue and solve all problems. You can work together to solve problems.
 
Bullied in pre-school?!? What is our society coming to?? I am sooo sorry for the other parents to have had bullying issues. BIG hugs to all of you!! Like I said, we've never had any trouble at this school during the summer program. 97% of the kids are "normal" and don't cause problems, they just wanna have fun!

I feel VERY blessed that my son feels comfortable enough to talk to me. I just pray that he continues to have that confidence in me as he gets older!

I wonder with some of these poor children who are at the school 12 hours a day if it is truly because of financial necessity so the fam can live in their mansions or if it's because the parents just don't want to or won't deal with them- hence the problems. Which, from what you wonderful educators out there seem to imply will only get worse as the kids get older! Scary thought!

Thank you all again sooo very much for your support!

Hugs,
Pam
 
syzygy314 said:
I was a military brat growing up, so I can sympathize with being bullied and picked on. It was never-ending, let me tell you! You either grew a thick skin or you were in trouble!
Click to expand...

Hey Tricia me too! I grew up traveling all over the place. When I lived in Virginia I was the only Asian in my whole grade, . . talk about trying desprately to fit in. I learned how to just keep my head down and stick to myself but it was a lonely place to be. I remember standing in the lunch line with my tray and some kid just pushed me over, . . .all I remember was being on my knees with canned corn and milk all over the floor and me trying to pick everything up.
By the time I was in 4th grade and living on Guam I developed a really thick skin. So thick, . . that when I saw others making fun of other kids for being fat, or different I did nothing because I was scared out of my mind. I regret not doing something more than I regret any other mistakes I've made in my life. I've taught my children to NOT make the mistake I made. That bullies prey on people and that a lot of times the right thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do.
 
Ugg, this just makes me sick. One of my very best friends is a guidance counselor and heads up a big antibullying program, and I can't understand any school that doesn't have one. zero percent tolerance, and that's the rule. Our school just instituted a anonymous hotline to report any bullying issues. I would be at administration every day. No questions about it, bullying can takes its tool on a child in the long run.:mad:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top