My ego has been crushed------by my DH!!!!!!

wendybdh

wendybdh

Cathlete
Tonight I was talking to my DH and I asked him if it was obvious that I work out. He looked at me and said "No, not really."

I am crushed. I have done Cathe workouts for over a year and am in the best shape of my life. I'm not saying I look like Cathe or anything but I have firmed up tremendously and am starting to show a slight bit of definition now. I am also about 25 pounds lighter than I was 2 years ago. I'm 5'10 and weigh 152 now. I felt like he ripped out my heart and handed it to me.

Please don't bash my husband - he's a great guy and I know he didn't mean any harm but I feel so discouraged because I was proud of myself and thought I was starting to look really good x(.

I guess if nothing else he gave me great motivation to continue clean eating and really push myself in my workouts, but I still want to cry right now;(

Wendy
 
No bashing? that's not fair!!!!! guys are just clueless sometimes. don't cry. if you change your mind about the bashing, let me know!!!!


you know what progress you have made and that is what counts!


jes
 
:) You do look good chick! I can tell!!

Maybe he thought you really ment "Do I look like Cathe and Jai?" Perhaps that is what a girl who works out looks like, in his mind.

I do not look like a person who works out. I am 5'7" and 118 lbs. So I am a little bit on the slender side. Peolpe truely think I never workout and can eat anything I want. WRONG!!!!!

If someone saw me doing a Cathe, they would probably never get over the shock!

Don't cry. 25 lbs less than last year!!!! That is awesome!!!! Keep it up! You probably look like one of those "natrually slim" people right now!!!

:D
 
Oh Wendy! Big hugs sweetie

Your DH just did the classic "speaking before thinking" thing as they do

Im sure he didnt mean it the way it sounded, and your question caught him of guard.

Sometimes we woman should not ask DHs ANYTHING especially things like "does my bum look big in this?" It really throws them.

Your doing a fantastic job in keeping in shape - dont let his stupid answer get you down, and like jes said, if you change your mind, we can all give him a forum bashing.

Chin up Girlfriend

Marion

:)
 
What a idiot!!!! Im just joking.:) I have spent the last couple of days whining about my Dh driving me nuts.
My DH is the opposite of yours.He makes me sound like a freak! When we are around couples or just other people,he will make comments about me working out all the time.He of course,exaggerates,but it makes me look like I am obsessed with working out, and I probably am!;) When we were trying for a baby he told the DR that I run for 3 hours a day.Can you imagine the look on my Dr's face?
If your Dh is not hurtful on a regular basis then I wouldn't read anything into it.Maybe he thought you wanted to know if you looked like Cathe.The only hear every second word anyway.And you could always tell him that it really bothered you and I am sure he will correct himself.
I on the other hand,get embarassed when people notice my arms or that I run alot.I don't anyone to talk about it.Mainly I think, that people think,people who workout want to talk about it all the time and I am not like that BUT I know lots of people who are.
Now,I am off topic!
Lori:)
 
Ok good! That sorry jackass should be grateful that you care about your appearance and work so hard at it. He probably has no idea what it is like to have a female's metabolism and ought to just keep his piehole shut if can't say something nice! I can't beleive he had the audacity to say that to you and i think we should all come over and take turns using him as a target in KPC!x(

OK. Feel better?

jes}(
 
Your husband sees you several times a day so the daily changes you have made to your body can sometimes slip under the radar! Same thing happens with us, if the scale didn't move or if the clothes sizes didn't get any smaller, it would slip under our radar, too!

My advice, hold out on s-e-x!!!}( }( }( I don't mean it the way it sounds...I think! My DH and I were having pretty bad problems when I started Cathe. Once we got through them and I let him back into our bed, he said he noticed a big change in how my body felt. Keep in mind, I had not lost a single pound, just firmed up some more! Thank You leg presses!!!
 
Wendy, I love the suggestion by jes. So, for insulting our fellow Catheite, he will need to be "on guard" when I do KP&C Friday afternoon!!!
 
FANTASTIC idea. I have a Self Defence class on Friday so I can really "let loose" on my focuss now!!

Wendy Hon..........get yourself a dart board sweetie and glue his picture on it

Marion
:)
 
I agree with Marion - they don't think before they speak. It really is part of being a male. My husband says that sometimes he would like to grab the words right out of the air before I can hear them.

Classic lines by my DH:
At 9 months pregnant I was standing in front of the mirror. I said "Honey, I think that I am all stomach, I really haven't gained weight anywhere else."
His remark - "No, your butt is huge."
I swear this is true and we are still married.

On the flip side, when I had my daughter and they were sewing me up, he asked the doctor why there were so many stiches. He asked her why so many and she said that I ripped. His question to the doctor, "I thought that you gave her a vasectomy?"
The doctor laughed her head off and said, "That's episiotomy!"

Hope this helps or at least makes you laugh.
melissa
 
Oh Melissa - LOL!! I can soooooo relate to the "sewing" up

PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING MAY OFFEND or make you laugh

True story as well

When the doctor was sewing me up after my last LARGE baby, my DH asked him to make sure he sewed me up "straight" and not "too small"

Now who was boosting their own ego then??????

Marion
:)
 
Awww Wendy! I'm sure he didn't mean it the way it came out. I read your post to my DH and he said to tell you that your hubby probably thought you asked, "Do you want to go shopping?" and he said, "No, not really!" :7) My DH's very words! You just keep on, keepin' on. I know you look awesome and just the fact that you said that you are in the best shape of your life says tons. Keep at it and try not to be too sad. HUGS 2 U!!! {{{Wendy}}}
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
Wendy,
Everyone so far has said pretty much what i am going to say.
He has no idea what he said. Men are so clueless. If you said that comment to your hubby he would've went to bed that night and never thought a thing about it. We women THINK.... what did he mean by that??? is he saying i'm not fit????? etc... you get the pic. Men say things, the words leave their mouths, and they don't even realize what they said. He can't help it, he's a man.

I ask DH, do i look fat in these jeans. He says no, you look fine.
Why does that drive me crazy??? can't he elaborate??? No your butt looks mightly fine??? What the heck???

Anyway, don't let him crush your ego, it's not you!! YOur fit girl!
 
Wendyjpa!

Okay, you really had me confused! I thought you were responding to your OWN post! I re-read and re-read it thinking is she responding to someone else here??? Duuuh, your screen name is almost the exact as Wendybdh. Takes me awhile! :7
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
Wendy. I was insulted for you & I was going to bash your DH. On second thought, men are pretty dumb when they have to answer questions like that. Just like Pellmel said, it too drives me crazy when they say "you look fine". Almost like they aren't sure what answer you want so they try to be borderline. Think John Kerry.

Anyway, I got a good laugh. Thanks. And I can almost guarantee that you look great!

Marla:)
 
I'm betting your DH thought you wanted to know if you looked like a female bodybuilder, in which case saying no, to some people at least, was a compliment. Maybe he just meant you look fit but feminine.

Also, there are aspects to fitness that have nothing to do with muscles--complexion, firmness, and just an overall "shapeliness" that wasn't there before. For example, I swear I "glow" now. Women often see those things, but they are so subtle that I think a man, most men anyway, would only see that you look good, but not why.

My DH and I have a deal. If he says something stupid, I say, "Wrong answer!" and he gets to try again with no points deduction. After 18 years, he's getting pretty good at it and often gets it right the first time. He WANTS to say the right thing. He WANTS to be able to say what he really means. It just took a little practice for him to get it right. Of course, I always reinforce good answers, too, so he can recognize right when he hits it. I'm training my son the same way, and he's even better than his daddy.

Shari
 
Yep, I was going in that direction, too. DH more than likely thought you were asking if you looked like ARNOLD. He probably took a look at your arms and didn't see huge biceps and said, no, not really.

You asked if it was obvious. Sometimes it's not really obvious as to the HOW of someone gets to be a hottie. I'd suggest going back and telling him he hurt your feelings and then ask him if you're a hot mamma. After that, he couldn't dare to say something stupid. Especially if he knows what you really wanted to know. It's crazy, but sometimes it's how we word our questions. DH's tend to take things literally.
 
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