My dad is dying.....

Please, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm so sorry for this news. I must say, that although i know the doctors are only doing what they thick is best, it disgust me when they say things like 2 weeks to 6 months. It makes me sick. How can someone tell another human being that. He is not God. He does not know when your father will die or if he will. I know he is a doctor and doing his job, but it always strikes a nerve with me.

My thoughts and wishes are really with you.

xxx
 
Robyn-
What excellent advice. I couldn't agree more.
Your dad sounds like a very, very special guy.
-Nancy
 
Gosh, this is so hard. I feel like I am wandering around in some sort of surreal reality, like I am in a bad dream and am just waiting to wake up. I feel like I go from being around sick people to being around sick people to thinking about sick people....blah, blah. I feel like my heart is ripping out and the suffering hasn't even begun. I do wonder how people make it through this, what makes this life worth living. We all die someday and many of us too soon and painfully. It is so sad, really.

My mom found out today, so did my brother. Haven't talked with them yet. Tomorrow. You all have been more supportive than even those in my "real world" and I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I am hanging on. :)

And to all of you that emailed me personally, you are all wonderful. To know that others have been through this and come out the other end gives me hope. I am still just trying to come to terms with losing my dad, of him never being able to hold his grandchildren. Seems all I want to do is cry. I can't concentrate on anything. I want to curl up in a ball under the covers and press PAUSE on life. I am trying to be good, but I seem to be getting mad at everything, even my husband. I jsut want to scream at anything, anyone.. Everything is just too overwhelming right now. I did get Christmas Eve off though to spend with my Dad and his side of the family. Thank goodness.

Thanks again everyone!
 
Janice, my heart goes out to you. I'm so glad you checked in tonight. Please keep us updated and feel free to vent any time. Have you found out anything more about your mom?

Michele
 
"I am still just trying to come to terms with losing my dad, of him never being able to hold his grandchildren. Seems all I want to do is cry."

I know exactly how you feel Janice as those things bothered me too. When my dad was dying I was also upset because he was not going to be around to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I am his "baby girl" (the youngest of 2) and he was supposed to be around to do this for me! When the time came for me to get married it was 8 years after his death but it was still hard! My mom, who happens to be my best friend, walked me down the aisle which I must admit was quite fitting BUT I still wanted my dad there to do it! I ended up dedicating a very special song in his memory at my reception in place of the father/daughter dance and I danced with my Uncle (dad's little brother) to it. It was nice and in my heart I feel that my dad was there in spirit as I feel he was when my DS was born this year! I wish my dad could have held his grandson but I know that he can see him and loves him just as much as if he were here now to hold and play with him!!! I believe this and it comforts me. :)

Take hold of a belief of your own that will help you to get through this!
 
Thank you Wendy, that helps alot. We do share similarities. I am also the youngest and the "baby". My dad has been harping on me for the last few years to have a baby so that is making how I feel worse right now...

Thank you for replying! One things is good. I used to listen to a song called "The living Years" and cry, wondering if that song would echo the relationship of my dad and I (he lived a vey tumultuous life). I guess it won't be now. I have time to tell him. :) Thank you.
 
Janice -

I'm very sorry. This is a tough time of year for this, although no time is a good time. I'll be praying for you and your Mom and Dad.

Margaret
 
Janice,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. In addition to making the most of your time with your dad, my advice to you is to stay strong and don't forget to take care of yourself. From personal experience, it's easy to forget that you still have to live your life. I am in a similar situation and I started drinking too much wine each night to cover up my feelings. I didn't eat right or workout as much. All I wanted to do was cry. I felt I didn't deserve to be happy when my family was hurting. My feelings hurt my relationsip with my husband, temporarily, as well.

Once I woke up and realized that I still have to live my life, things got better. My depression was not only hurting myself but those around me. I needed to be strong and positive so I could be there for my family when they needed me. Be sure to keep exercising to keep the endorphins flowing. Focus on your new job. Although I think of the problems my family is dealing with all the time, I try not to let it overwhelm me as I did before. Take one day at a time, and cherish the moments you have with your dad.

Take care,
Melissa
 
I will try to take your advice Melissa, thank you. I also am trying to keep it all in perspective and realize that, while they gave him two weeks to six months, he could beat the odds and live three years! I have been doing a lot of research on the net and one thing I seem to have concluded about this disease is that while it is aggressive, life expectancy as well as quality of life can vary greatly, depending on the person. My dad has been handling it all very well, relying on his belief in God and a reason for everything. It is not so much the fact that he may be dying that will beat him down, but the side effects of chemo and/or radiation. I hope I can be supportive for him. I printed off a bunch of info for him so that he can know what to expect. I have yet to speak direct with the docs and from talking with him I can tell he still seems a bit confused about it all, which is to be expected of course.

My mom and brother know now. My mom took it very hard, my brother........well, took it like my brother. I think he is in shock. I will speak with my mom today.

I did get X-mas Eve off for our usual family tradition, which is good. I did not push it and cut my hours, but I let my work know, just in case all goes downhill and I have to. They seemed to understand. Thanks again! :)
 
My God, I FEEL FOR YOU! I will keep your dad and mom in my prayers (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) And I will pray that God will give you strengh to make it though this sad so sad situation.

Teddygirl~
 
>Thank you Wendy, that helps alot. We do share similarities. I
>am also the youngest and the "baby". My dad has been harping
>on me for the last few years to have a baby so that is making
>how I feel worse right now...
>
>Thank you for replying! One things is good. I used to listen
>to a song called "The living Years" and cry, wondering if that
>song would echo the relationship of my dad and I (he lived a
>vey tumultuous life). I guess it won't be now. I have time to
>tell him. :) Thank you.

I'm glad that I could atleast make you feel a TINY bit better! Feel free to PM or email me if you want to vent, chat or need advice in any way! I'm a good listener! Atleast that's what my friends say! :)
 
Janice, it sounds like you are handling things very well under the circumstances. Thank goodness for the internet and the wealth of information out there. Stay strong and have faith. My mom was diagnosed with an unusual, untreatable lung disease (she never smoked) and if the doctors were right she wouldn't be here today. But I was lucky enough to spend Thanksgiving/her birthday with her this year and I have faith that I will next year too.

My point is, you are right. Your dad can beat the odds. It's good that your dad is handling the situation well because a positive attitude definitely affects a person's health. I'm so happy for you that you got Christmas Eve off. I hope you and your family have a very special Christmas together.

Melissa
 
I haven't been here in quite some time, but I certainly remember you, Janice. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
 
my father in law had this. he past out at work and they rushed him to the ER. that is how they found out he had it. He survived for almost two yrs. I will keep; you in my prayers.
laura
 
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