my 11 yr old got her period....help!!!!

S

Snickers

Member
Of all my friends, i'm the only one with girls so i really need some advice from you moms that have been through this. my dd got her first period last month in September, but it's been well over a month now, and she has yet to get it this month. is this normal for someone just beginning her cycles? i'm not sure if this is something i should be concerned about or not. also, her period was so light last month and now that she hasn't gotten it this month, i'm beginning to wonder if maybe last month's "period" really wasn't that. however, i don't know what it could have been. even though she is only 11, she is my height, 5'2" and weighs about 125 pounds....so i know her body is gearing up for it....i just don't know what to think.

can anybody offer me some advice?

and then there's the explaining to an 11 year-old how to use a tampon....i would truly appreciate any thoughts....

thank you so much!
 
My daughter (adopted from Russia at age 4) started when she was TEN, if you can believe it. Tampons are still out of the question for her even at age 14. She's tiny ...I think too hard to use for girls at this point. I think the irregular timing is very normal at the start, the same as with menopause. I also think pads would be easiest for her to cope with- even light-day pads, if that's all it takes for now.

And you'll probably want to make sure she understands she can't flush the pads down the toilet...

One of my friend's daughters recently had a sleepover and one of the friends started her period for the first time at the sleepover. She was able to get the girl taken care of with pads, etc., but the next morning the girl tried to flush the pad down the toilet and it caused a flood... what a mess...

Good luck to you!!
Cheryl
 
I started my period when I was 10 1/2. I think the tampons should be saved for a while. Pads will be fine for her. I think it is normal to be irregular especially if she is just starting out since her body isn't used to doing this yet. If she still stays irregular for a few months then I would make her a doctor's appointment. Also, as Cheryl said, stress to her about not flushing the pads and about proper hygiene now that she is menstruating. Believe it or not, some girls at that age don't keep themselves clean so maybe get her some wipes and tell her about keeping clean during that time. Good luck!
 
I didn't start my period until I was 14, but I wasn't regular at all for a year! My first period was REALLY light and lasted 1/2 a day and after that I only got it maybe 3-4 times the first year. I just think that it takes the body awhile to adapt to the hormones. I would give it 6-9 months before taking her to a doctor if she's not on a regular schedule yet especially since she is 11. I don't know why but when I started I felt embarassed by it - but buying pads aimed at teens helped me feel better - not the large bulky pads for adult women. :)

annie
 
Elleven is young. It's normal to just start off like that, it will be a cycle as time goes by. Don't worry. I wouldn't give her a tampon though, use a pad, until she gets older.

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
 
i just forgot to say that i agree with the other posters and wouldn't give an 11 yr old a tampon. i couldn't even wear one properly until i was 18 - pads with an explanation of how often they should be changed and other hygiene issues should suffice.

this website answers a lot of questions about first periods:

http://www.kotex.com/na/talk/teen/girlthing/qa.asp

annie
 
I was 11. It was like what is this????Mom dod not have me prepared.
Pads. all the way. At least they aren't the thick things they used to be.
I can remember my 1st tampon thing. We were going swimming and my best friend was trying to teach me how. I was scared to death. It was like do what with it. LOl
I myself to this day get more cramps w tampons.I say when she is ready for them .She will ask...
Good luck,,,.
Anne
Aka( Storm)

http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
 
Hey Cathy,

My dh started her period at 11 and she still has months where she will miss a period or go longer that usual and an nurse told me it was normal as long as she was heavy flowing for a long period of time. I did this and I wander if it is something that is hereditary. And about the use of tampons, she wore pads and tried to use tampons but it was too difficult for her. Only did she wear tampons when she started at the beach at age 14 and it was tampons or no swimming! So she gave them a try, but she still wears pads now cause that is what she is comfortable with. She may have irregular periods for a few years so there is no worry unless she has a heavy flow for a couple of weeks.

kim
 
Thank you all so much for your replies! in my heart i felt there wasn't really anything to be worried about, but until you get that affirmation from someone else, it's hard to listen to that little voice.

I did get her some pads, but she is kind of wanting to use tampons and since i was "forced" to use nothing but pads (and hated it) i kind of want to let her try them...........but i will hold her off for awhile if possible.

thanks again for all your help. I truly appreciate it!
 
I have two girls, one age 16. My older DD started her period at age 12 (pretty close to 13). It is normal for girls to have irregular cycles at first. They usually even out within the first year.

My DD started out with pads and only recently started using tampons. Tampons take some practice, so I just encouraged my DD to read the directions carefully and keep trying. She hasn't complained about any discomfort as of late so she must have gotten it right. :) I buy Tampax Slender Regulars.
 
Well I have 3 boys, so I don't have the experience to share about daughters, just my own when I was a teen.

I got my period at about 12 1/2. I think I used pads for one or two months and have used tampons ever since. I was extremely athletic and constantly had swim meets, golf tournaments or basketball games. There was no way a pad could have worked for me. Maybe your daughter is the same way? I think if she wants to try tampons you should carefully guide her and let her try them. I know I would have hated it if my mom insisted I wear pads as a young teen. Good luck!!

Heather
 
I think I was 14 when I first used tampons. We were going to Florida for March Break and there was no way I was using a pad with my bikini. So I took the box into the bathroom and just kept trying until I didn't have that pain in the middle of my forehead when I sat down:+
 
>I think I was 14 when I first used tampons. We were going to
>Florida for March Break and there was no way I was using a pad
>with my bikini. So I took the box into the bathroom and just
>kept trying until I didn't have that pain in the middle of my
>forehead when I sat down:+

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/1.gif
 
strangely, my periods have always stopped while i exercise...i swam competitively as a teen too - no way would i have worn a pad - but i couldn't use a tampon either. luckily, i never had to wear a tampon or a pad while i was swimming because the period just stopped until about an hour after i exercised (even light exercise stops it). i don't know if that's normal, but i doubt i'm the only one this has happened with. so, i guess i'm saying tampons aren't mandatory while swimming - it just depends on her body.
 
My daughter wanted the tampons pretty early too although she was around 13 or so. What I did was get her the Tampax teen pack to start with. It comes with good directions and has a really slender size included in the box. Now at 16 she prefers pads unless she has PE.

Diana
 
When I had my first period at age 13, it was 6 months before I had another. My first period was almost spotting instead of a true menstrual flow.

As for tampons, I did not begin using them until later - I think I was 15 or so when I began to use tampons.
 
My sister and I both got our periods at age 11 (for me, one month before I turned 12). They say that some of when you have your first period is hereditary, too (my mom also had hers at 11).

Anyway, period regularity is also pretty hereditary. I had my period for 7 years before I got on the pill at age 18, and my cycle NEVER evened out. It was usually 9-12 days long and very heavy (I was using super plus tampons at age 14), and my cycle length could be anywhere from 18 to 52 days in length. Needless to say, the pill has been a total blessing for me!!!

Two things my mother did that helped me a lot were:

1. Offer me the choice of tampons or pads. She didn't restrict me either way (I see a lot of women suggesting you not offer her the choice of using tampons), and she answered all of my questions for either. I went with tampons after my first period because, though the first few attempts were challenging, the overall effect was "cleaner". She gave me two boxes of tampons and two boxes of pads and told me that that was a rather personal decision, and she'd support me either way.

2. She bought me a calendar and explained that I should keep track of my periods. That way, I learned what the "average" time for my body was, and I learned what signs to look for that it was coming (cramping about 3 days prior, bloating, etc.) since I was so irregular (coincidentally, so are my mother and both of my sisters).

Don't be shocked if her periods are irregular... expect that to happen.

Yes, in a lot of ways, 11 feels like too young an age to be dealing with this. However, she has now entered a new stage in her life, and she needs to learn how to deal with this situation monthly for the grand majority of her adult life, so don't sugar-coat anything for her... it won't do her any favors. Support her, answer all of her questions openly and truthfully, but don't bug her about it to the point where she feels like you're violating a pretty private time in her life. She'll respect you a lot for it when she gets older.
 
What your daughter has been goig through is perfectly normal.

It can take a while fo their bodies to develop into a monthly routine. My 13 year old started her periods this Summer at age 12. First it was just a little blood, then a full blown period, but nothing the following month. then 2 close together.....you get the picture. It wil take a while to settle down.

Best thing to do is to give her a box of smallest size tampons and let her lock the bathroom/bedroom door and experiment on her own. She probably will not want you there! It may also be a few years before their bodies can take tampons, or that they have the confidence to really wear one and feel able to touch themselves and explore their own bodies. So, just take her with you to the supermarket/drug store and get some thin pads with wings, nothing bulky. She'll need instruction on how regularly to change them and remind her to give you her clothes immediately for soaking, should she get blood stains on them. This embarrasses them, and like my daughter, she may feel like hiding the evidence for a while! So, keep your wits about you!

In the meantime, there are some great American Girl books that wil help your daughter understand what her body is going through and will also discuss how to deal with it, practicalities, and in an engaging format.

It'll be fine, don't sweat it,

Clare
 
<sigh> it's sooooo nice to have femaale people to give me some advice and guidance. I've not told anyone, other then my dh, that she got her period because i don't feel they need to know, hence i've not been able to talk with anyone.....so you all have helped me greatly.

i did buy her the "always" brand pads with the wings, but they are sooooooooooooooo long....i felt kind of bad. i've tried to find the "teen" type pads as well as the "teen" type tampons, but i can't....i've not tried Target or Kmart, maybe i should.

i've always respected her privacy and she has known for almost a year of what to expect when she finally got her period so that was quite helpful....i've always been very upfront with her about such things. i even had to tell her last month that just because she feels "moody" she needs to not take it out on us....she needs to remove herself from the situation.....now if i'd only heed my own advice....:D

thank you all again so much....some of your posts made me laugh out loud!
 
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