Miscarriage Support

M

melanalyus

Cathlete
Hi ladies.

I am wondering if anyone would like to share their miscarriage stories?

I am 35 year old, and we found out about 10 weeks ago that we were preganant with our 4th child. This was a suprise for us, and we are in the midst of some very stressful stuff---which I believe played a factor in our miscarraige.

About 10 days ago I had my 1st prenatal and there was no heartbeat. The pregnancy was confirmed by lab values about 14 days ago. We weren't concerned about the not finding the heartbeat b/c it was estimated that I was 12-14 weeks along & it's not always easy to find.

Yesterday AM I began brown spotting. Very old, figured it was old blood. Last night I had more "mucosly" looking brown discharge, so decided to call into work & have my u/s today rather than scheduled Thursday appt

The regular u/s did not pick up a heartbeat and technician stated that I was not as far along as suspected---only 6 weeks along & I knew that was impossible. I've already started to show & have had lots of 1st trimester symptoms that have started to subside (consistent with being in early 2nd trimester).

She couldn't find a heartbeat, so did a transvaginal u/s. Still no heartbeat. DH did not come with me, but my eldest son was there. I"m glad I wasn't alone but sad that he had to witness the events.

My HCG levels were drawn.

I was told that I would probably spontaneously abort and it'll probably hurt quite a bit.

I cannot get in to see d/c dr until Wednesday AM, and then just a consult. The nurse said they could probably do procedure Thursday AM. I should go in tomorrow to confirm HCG level decrease.

It seems cruel to send someone home to just "wait". I still have brown discharge that might be a little darker. I have very slight cramps that might be in mind---not real. I"m so scared that I'm going to go thru pain. I just want it to be over.

Anyone else have a similiar story & or words of wisdom as to what to expect? I have the rest of week off of work b/c of labs and procedure. I have next week off for routine dr appts for family. In the midst of everything I am technically "jobless" and am looking for a new job!!! Urgh. Please advise!!

Thanks again, ladies for all your many years of support. I appreciate this forum so much!
 
Melanie-If you want pm me that is fine, but I am happy to share. My miscarriages all happened between 6-8 weeks. I always know when I am pregnant because I am immediately nauseated. With the miscarriages I felt bad initially for a week or so but then better and better and from my successful pregancies that was not right. 2 were spontaneous before my dr exam and only confirmed by hcg levels at the lab. The 3rd was u/s confirmed as already a failed pregnancy by age probably 5 weeks, and I was 7 weeks. I went home and waited for a week and then it happened. It was terrible, I prayed they were wrong, I cried and cried. I did not have a d&c, as mother nature took care of it and I was in no mood to go anywhere near the dr. Its amazing, but the 3rd pregnancy could not have happened at a worse time, as far as personal life goes, but it wasn't until it was gone did I realize just how much I did want it. I don't have advice how to get through it. You do in your own way, in your own time. There is a website resolve.org that has many links to miscarriage sites, loss sites, etc. It is an infertility website, but they very much deal with pregnancy loss by nature. I hope some of this helps, but if nothing else know that there are others out here and you aren't alone.
 
Melanie, again I am so sorry for your loss. My 2 m/c occured when I was about 6 weeks. I started bleeding red blood from the beginning. The first one was just like a period..no horrible cramping. The 2nd lasted longer but it was not painful either. Are you sure you will need a d/c.
 
Hi Melanie,

First of all big, huge ((((HUGS)))). I know how hard this is.

I had my first m/c when i was about 4.5 weeks along. I started spotting the day I took a pregnancy test and by he next day I was full-blown bleeding. It was unsettling but not *terrible* since it was sooo early.

My second loss I was 18 weeks. I had a terrible first trimester. Losing weight, sick all of the time, etc. I finally started feeling better around 14 weeks and was looking forward to having a better pregnancy. I had the triple-screen test done at 17 weeks and the test came back with a slightly abnormal result. I had a level three u/s the next day and they found that the baby had died two weeks prior(probably the reason I had started feeling better.) I never bled, spotted or anything. I went in for a D & E(since I was so far along) three days later. I bled right away and for about two and half weeks after the procedure.

My third loss came at 8 weeks. I had started spotting on a Sunday, went in for an u/s on Monday..no heartbeat. I decided to just have the m/c naturally since I was already bleeding. I had one night that was painful(pretty severe cramps) that was the night I *passed* everything. I bled for about a week or so but it was actually not that bad in terms of pain or bleeding. You can take pain meds to make it *easier.*

My fourth loss came at 8 weeks also. I was considered *high-risk* at this point so I was seeing a specialist and having an u/s every week. At week 8..no heartbeat. Since I wasn't spotting, bleeding or anything I went in for a D&C the next day. The procedure itself wasn't bad. I had it done on a Friday and didn't bleed much on Friday and not at all on Saturday and Sunday. On Monday, I literally started bleeding heavily and I had terrible pain. I was popping Percocet like there was no tomorrow. I bled for over three weeks and had pain for close to a week. For me, the D&C was much worse than letting it happen naturally. On the other hand, having the D&C made me feel more certain that they had gotten all of the tissue and they could do testing to find out what had gone wrong.

Now, please know that nothing you did contributed to this loss. Most early miscarriages are the result of completely random genetic abnormalities. I know how hard it is to find out that the baby you had dreamed about is gone and everyone is here to support you. I'm happy to answer any questions or help you in anyway that need. Please take it easy and take as much time as you need to heal.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

Pippa
 
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Oh, Melanie! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

I'm so sorry that this happened. I have nothing to offer but a shoulder and a hug. I hope you have lots of support at home.

Again, So sorry.
 
The worse part right now is having all the symptoms of being pregnant and knowing that I have a "dead" baby in me, that has been there for about 8 weeks. I want to try to move on, but as long as the baby is there, I can't.

What do I do in the meantime? It's so hard to do everyday things just knowing it can occur any minute. We live 70 miles from a hospital. I just wish they would just do a D & C so I can try to go on. ...people wait just 24 hrs for an abortion, why do I have to wait 4 days for a medical D & C?

I thought I'd be better today, but I'm very sad today. :(
 
Melanie, with my first m/c I starting bleeing right away and all my symptoms were gone..bam. With this last one it lingered for 5 week. My breasts were still sore and I was still testing positive just just 3 weeks ago. It was difficult knowing what was going on in my body..I just tried to stay busy...easier said than done! It doesnt make since you having to wait so long for the d/c. I guess in the minds of the dr's since you are not bleeding badly and in a lot of of pain its not an "emergency"...while in yours and ours minds it is. Im so terribly sorry you are gong through this.
 
Did you have a d/c then, Susan? It doesn't sound like you went thru any pain? I had a bowel movement this AM & one of my little "turds" floated---I was staring at it wondering if THAT was the baby? This is so twisted. I"m not sure why I need to have HCG levels drawn when there's not heartbeat and the baby has failed to thrive? HCG levels can be inconsistent anyway. No sense, and very cruel to make a person wait so long.

No red blood, just brown. They estimated the baby died at 6 weeks, which means I've been carring a dead embryo for 8-9 weeks. There has to be some risk in that, you would think? If it was going to shed, don't you think it would have by now?!?!?

Urgh!
 
I also had to have my hcg levels drawn. I think they do that to make sure the levels are dropping. Since my levels dropped each time, slowly but surly, I did not have to have a d/c. I always thought if you had a m/c you had to have a d/c. I asked my dr about that. She said most d/c are done to make the pt. feel better about things..that d/c arent really needed. When the bleeding it heavy and doesnt stop a d/c is for sure needed. I think it all depends on how far along one is.
I was only 6 weeks along and passed some very large hunks of stuff, but only had mild cramping.
 
Melanie..I jsut re-read your post. I do agree....after 6 weeks you would think there would be worry of infection. I would opt for a d/c in your case.
 
The fetus is still there, so I will need to have a D & C. Urgh, I just took a little rest & when I went to bathroom the blood was bright. So maybe nature is finally taking it's course? I just want it to be over.
 
Melanie - Sending hugs to you for going through this. My miscarriage sounds very similar to your experience right now. I went for my first prenatal appt. and everything seemed fine. I did have brown spotting here and there, but the dr. didn't seem overly concerned. Then I started to spot bright red the day before my 11 week u/s, but it stopped immediately so didn't think much about it. At my u/s they discovered that the fetus stopped developing and there was no hb. She estimated that the fetus probably stopped developing 2-3 weeks back, but wasnt sure. My ob however made me take hcg blood draws to reconfirm that my dates weren't off even though I know my dates were pretty accurate. My hcg came back not doubling like they were supposed to. She gave me a few options of what I could do. I could wait it out, take the medication to speed up the miscarriage, or do a d/c. I waited a few days and when nothing happened, I took the medication. I ended up miscarrying everything a few days later which ended in a trip to the ER for profuse bleeding that wouldn't stop. It did feel very similar like going through labor. By what would have been week 13, everything had passed according to an u/s. If you do not want to go through the whole ordeal, I would suggest a d/c. I'll be thinking of you and I know how hard it is emotionally to go through this. Please feel free to ask me any qxs you have. ((((HUGS)))

Lisa
 
Thank you. At this point, I want a D & C. TODAY. However, I have to wait and follow proper channels. It just makes me sick, people can have abortions with 24hr wait but I need to wait over 5 days to have a procedure to eliminate a embryo/fetus that has already past. It doesn't make sense, at all.
 
Melanie,

All I have are prayers and hugs for you. I hope that knowing that so many strangers care about you and wish you the best will give you some sort of comfort somewhere down the line.

Murph
 
Melanie,i just wanted to pop in and send you a cyber hug....I am so sorry your having to go through this:( I hope it will end quickly for you!
 
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Melanie, I don't know if you remember me from the check-in last year, but I wanted to send you a huge hug and let you know that I'm praying for you and your family. This sounds like a terrible situation - I'm so sorry you're going through this, and to have the added strain of the medical process on top of everything else must be awful. I don't have any advice or helpful information to share, just a shoulder and some warm cyber-thoughts... {{{{{{{{{{Melanie}}}}}}}}}}
 
Melanie- I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Hoping you get a natural m/c or the D+C asap. You're in my prayers. You certainly have had a lot on your plate.
 
D & C Complete

Just got back from D & C. I feel so much better--more closure. It was tough---someone just delivered a baby down the hall & the hospital smell reminded me of the last times I was in the hospital---having my babies. I still have a baby bump--hoping it will go away real soon with my pregnancy symptoms.
 
Melanie, just wanted to send you more hugs. I hope that you feel better soon. I can't imagine what you must be going through. But you are such a strong person. I know that you'll pull through it.
 
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