Just need a pick me up - long

NRG Woman

NRG Woman

Cathlete
I have had a ton of seemingly never ending medical problems that have led to multiple surgeries, hospitalizations and a feeding tube for a month this spring. My last two years have been spent making doctor appointments, then waiting the weeks and weeks for them, and getting no real resolution when I finally meet with a doctor. I have a job I love and I am unable to work or collect any sort of medical disability insurance. Fortunately, I do still have a job to go back to, but at some point I worry my job will no longer be available. I feel like I have lost my life and I don't really understand why and how to fix it. Most days I am too sick to accomplish more than the most basic of tasks. How can taking a shower be so wildly difficult when I used to be able to keep up with Cathe in any workout, or even teach 10 GX classes per week. All of my doctors are at a loss, and many of them are even making up really stupid stuff just to get me out of their offices.

Here we are at another holiday and I am still sick and sad. The surgery I had in January involved a 10" vertical incision in the middle of my abdomen. The complications were unbelievable and I was bedridden for almost 6 months. That scar has herniated at both the top and the bottom and needs to be repaired. The surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday and I am truly terrified. The surgery was the most painful thing I have ever felt and the complications weren't any better.

I miss my life, I miss doing Cathe or anything physical, and I miss the sense that I could take care of myself and meet any challenge head on. I lurk on these boards every day living vicariously through all of you. I get excited for you when you master a workout and join you in the excitement of trying something new. I dream of the day when I too can feel the joy and strength of completing a good workout.

Shayne
 
Oh, Shayne -- I'm sending warm thoughts and good wishes to you! I'm so sorry for your chronic health problems. I know the stress and discomfort are magnified by not getting good answers about what's going on, and I'm sure facing yet another surgery is discouraging. It's good to come here and share, and I'm sure you'll get lots of support. Hang in there, and I will be thinking of you on Wednesday.

All good wishes,
Allison
 
Shayne,

I am so sorry for your situation. I am going to stop what I am doing right after writing this and pray for you and your upcoming surgery. Thank you for sharing this with us so we can "be there" for you!! Many, many hugs coming your way.
 
Just wanted to send you warm loving thoughts and energy. I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. I know there is a light somewhere though, keep praying and believing!!
 
Awwwww, Shayne!!! You WILL feel the joy and strength of completing a good workout again, I believe it with all my heart!!

I have no advice in regards to your illness. I am sure it is tough to not know what the real culprit is.

Just try and focus on your goals, the end results and celebrate every little positive step. Dr. Andrew Weil has some great CDs about Meditation, Guided Imagery and Self Healing, you may want to give it a try. You can find them on www.amazon.com or on Dr. Weil's website.

Sending you much love and positive energy! Please take care of yourself and keep us posted on how you are doing.
 
Bless your heart. I am praying this year everything will turn around for you. Lots of love and {{{hugs}}} coming your way. Sometimes I come here and wish I could make everything better for everyone.
 
Shayne, sending prayers and good vibes for your surgery, and hope you are back to good health soon!!!

Please keep us posted on how you are doing...hopefully we will be getting excited with you as you are back to working out and feeling good! ((((hugs)))) to you!
 
Just reading your post made me want to drive over to wherever you are and give you a hug! I'm so sorry that you're having so many problems, and to have no real answers after such a long time is probably the worst of it all.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, but if there's anything more concrete that would help, please let me know. Are you searching for new doctors or specialists? I'm not sure where you are, but maybe someone here can help with the hunt?

{{{{{Shayne}}}}}
 
And more love and prayers from Texas. I read about a doctor in NY who is like Dr. House... he solves the odd cases. Do you know what is wrong with you or are they just doing a trial and error sort of thing? I have only a taste of what you are going through but mine never went to the proportions that you are dealing with. Again, thoughts and prayers - don't give up and always be in control of your health - doctors are good but are not all knowing.
 
Thank you all for your kind words. All of your support is greatly appreciated. When you become sick like this you become very isolated and it is nice to have people to talk to.

I am now working with my 3rd set of specialists and am planning what to do next if they don't give me any real answers. Fortunately, I have fantastic health insurance so the medical costs aren't overwhelming. We have the problem narrowed down to my biliary system, most likely the pancreas. But, as per usual, my case isn't presenting as normal I am hearing that it is "all in my head" a lot. My favorite response was after laying on a bed in the ER crying for 4 hours because of the pain the dr came in and said "congratulations, there is nothing wrong with you"...unbelievable. I am beginning to think that if the problem isn't what the doctor first thinks of they give up and send you on your way.

Did I mention I am married to the kindest, most patient man in the world? I am nauseated most of the time so we are spending the holiday at home where we will be able to control the food and smells and not be put in a situation where I will be made more nauseated and in more pain. DH is putting up the tree and all of the lights this weekend so the house will be festive and sparkly for me when I come home from the hospital.

Thank you to all of you for your positive energy. When I am home and lucid I will post how the surgery went.

Shayne

BTW Nita - I live in Shoreview
 
Shayne, Please keep us posted. Carola posted on her thread about fear, from Cardio Coach. Let me see if I can find it. I just thought of that as I was typing.
 
I am so sorry you are going through all of this, Shayne! I hope your surgery on Wednesday will be successful and the doctors can figure out what is going on.

Obviously I am no expert and I don't know how you feel about this but have you ever thought about consulting a Holistic Doctor or someone who practices Integrative Medicine? They are trained to treat the "whole" person.

I am saying this because when I was in my early twenties I had some health issues that lasted for over two years, I went from doctor to doctor. They gave me all kinds of medications and treatments (fortunately in my case no surgery) and eventually told me "it's all in your head" and "it is mental". Now that was real helpful - not.

A friend of mine told me about her doctor who was also trained in Classical Homeopathy. I thought my friend had gone completely nuts and was trying to send me to a snake oil sales person. On the other hand, I didn't have anything to lose.

The doctor questioned and quized me for over an hour, ran some tests, diagnosed me, gave me a few of those pellets with instructions how many more of those pellets to take every day.

To be honest, I thought all of this was really, really odd, and I didn't believe this was going to work. I told my friend that I would try it but I thought all of this was humbug. To make a long story short, within a week, my symptoms started to get better and were completely gone within 6 months. Now many people have told me that it wasn't the homeopathic medicine, that it resolved on its own, it was a placebo effect ......

I had heard from my allopathic doctors back then that all of this was in my head. Why? Because they couldn't diagnose it, may be they didn't look hard enough, maybe they didn't take into consideration that the human body is not like a car where you change out the spare parts and everything goes back to normal. I think sometimes doctors forget that there is more to health care and treatment, we are complex and unique. What works for one person may not work for the other but I think the universal truth is that for treatment to be successful it has to include body, mind and spirit.

Sorry for being so long-winded. I truly hope that your doctors will find answers for you, so that you can go on and live the productive and fulfilling life that you are meant to lead!!!
 
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Here you go..."Fear is the mind killer. Fear destroys our hopes and desires. We must face our fears and breathe them in, so that we feel and see that they are empty threats and they have no true hold over us". Rather than fearing next Wednesday (I know, easier said than done), try to beat that fear and go in with a sense of calm and control, as much as possible.
 
Carola - your post is amazing. I went through the same thing, only it did not last as long, and nobody ever figured it out - it just sort of resolved itself, whatever it was. For months I felt horrible, ran intermittent fevers, lost weight, was pale, just could hardly get off the couch at times, my glands were more swollen than usual, I had super weird symptoms... I would have loved to have found a holistic doc - no way was yours the placebo effect if you didn't even think it would work!!

Shayne - I do hope you get some answers. One of the things that came up for me was Lyme - wasn't my problem but I was tested. I know a woman who was sick for years and that is what it ended up being. She was treated with mega doses of antibiotics and is a new woman now. There has got to be an answer - don't let people tell you it's in your head. If they do, find another doctor. I know that is what people thought about me, and even DH was of no comfort. I think he thought the same thing and I certainly did not have the option of leaning on him. He is a great person but certainly blows at that trait! If nothing else, be very thankful for your kind, patient, very sweet man!;)
 
Shayne,
I'm so sorry to hear of your health problems, and the frustration of not finding out what the real problem is. I can only imagine that it's sometimes hard to find things to be thankful for, and that you are at times overwhelmed with feelings that nothing is going right. Try to focus on the good, like the fact that you have a great DH and great health insurance, and a group of supportive cyber friends here to rant and rale to who won't think it's 'all in our head'.

(I agree with Carola, a wholistic practitioner might be able to help you in ways an allopathic doctor can't or won't).

Sending love and healing thoughts your way!
 
Dear Shayne -- Just wanted to send you {{{HUGS}}}! Sorry that you have to go through all this, but please know that you have friends praying for you and sending you positive thoughts!!
 
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