It really IS their problem....

gidget1978

gidget1978

Cathlete
...not mine.

After much soul searching and thinking about this for a while, I have now come to realize that anyones comments made to ME about ME or my working out, are their problems not mine.
I know you have heard me whine about this lately weather its my recent weightloss since having DS and my MILs comments to me or my mothers but I just wanted to tell you that I think I have finally come to peace with the fact that I am doing nothing wrong.

My SIL is moving home and as been here all week on a house hunting trip. She has made comments either about my working out or the fact that I am smaller ( and I know she isn't jealous cause she is a small girl as well) One day she said something to me and I kind of felt like "why do people keep saying these things" and I brushed it off.
I have thought about it off and on since, weather its the rolling of the eyes b/c I am going for another run...ot whatever. And I am tried of feeling like I am the one who is doing something wrong.
Yes, I eat healthy (whats wrong with that?) Yes, I like to workout (whats wrong with that?)Yes, I want to look good (who doesn't?) But...I still eat whatever they put in front of me, I eat just as much as they do and if anything I eat more dessert then any of them...SO THEREFORE...I AM NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM! And no one is going to make ME feel like I am doing something wrong anymore...IM TIRED OF IT!!!!

There...said my peice! LOL
Lori:)
 
Good for you, Lori! It *is* their problem, and I'm glad that you're not going to let their weird comments bother you!:)
 
Lori, good for you. If you are happy with yourself and what you do to keep healthy, continue to let what they say fall on deaf ears. Sometimes easier said then done, but at least you have the right attitude for dealing with those comments.

Jean
 
at work, a much younger and heavier co-worker tells me I'm crazy for what I do and that I should relax and enjoy life after work. I tell her at least she's not calling me boring and I LOVE it.

It is a person's problem on how they choose to react to a situation or event, not yours.

Keep up the good work and take the higher road.
 
Good for you! I have the same problem. None of my friends like to workout. They think I am nuts. Someone asked me the other day what I was doing to lose so much weight and I told them I eat clean whole foods and my cousin chimes in and says "she's on a stupit diet". Oh well I feel good and I'm starting to look a whole lot better so I don't care what anyone says.


Farrah
 
Totally agree with you and don't talk about my workout regimens to anyone. (Though some call me small but have yet to see the "fat bulges" on my behind or legs cuz the clothing hides it).

Most people assume I can eat anything I want and not gain weight, but truth be told, I have worked hard the past few years to keep from gaining even more than the 5 - 10 pounds I have when my metabolism went haywire.

So, Lori, you are lucky you have found the right combination for you and others are just flat out jealous that you are dedicated to your own body and they are just too lazy or don't have the willpower to take care of themselves.

On this board we are all dedicated to taking care of ourselves the best we can (willpower influencing us at times) while living our lives the way we feel comfortable. Many of us don't eat totally clean and many don't workout like fiends, but all in all, we are aware of our own health and trying to be the best we can.

"They", however, are just not dedicated to themselves.

Cheers to the Cathe board "friends" and our never ending support and understanding :7

ETA - how is your daughter doing these days after the "anorexic" comments that were made a while back?
 
Jacque, once I explained to her what anorexic was she then realized that I wasn't it. She still tells me that I am to small sometimes but I think thats just b/c I don't fit the typical "mother" standards..LOL You know what I mean, I certainly don't look like my mother after she had kids. Its probably just a little different for her b/c most of her friends parents are in their 40's and right now she is dealing with her own changing body. Its weird though, she would like nothing more then to see me balloon up...odd isn't it?

Lori :)
 
Glad to hear it worked out well - she will be comfortable with herself one day, hopefully sooner than later.

I know whatcha mean about looking like mom, but then again, exercise wasn't as common in adults as it is these days either. And, unfortunately the kids aren't as active as we were either. Wondering if that might be where some of it stems from? We always played games outside or rode bikes, etc. and they are used to more technology that keeps them more sedentary and have lost out on PE in school too !

Never quite thought about it that way before . . .
 
I know exactly how you feel. I have people all the time telling me I'm losing too much weight, etc. (it's taken me about 5 years to lose 20 pounds -- so I'm definitely not losing too quickly!). I do work out almost everyday and I do eat very healthy most of the time (I do indulge in my favorite dish -- Mexican food -- from time to time!). And even though I eat healthy, I definitely eat plenty of food! I'm not starving myself.

I especially have trouble with the people at my church -- they are constantly telling me I've lost way too much weight, etc. However, my husband says I look just fine and the day that I start looking too thin/unhealthy, he will tell me. The thing is, all of the people telling me this are people who are very overweight, out of shape, and eat way too much (I see this when we have the potluck dinners at church!). I'm eating the same things they are, only small portions. They get second and third helpings and finish off with huge desserts. And they wonder how come I'm much smaller than they are! But they do make me feel terrible at times because I've worked very hard to be where I am. Sometimes when they talk to me about my weight, etc., I almost feel like they think I have an eating disorder or something. I have several witnesses that definitely know THAT is not true -- I love to eat. But since I want to keep my weight down and be more fit, I have to watch what I eat now (especially since I'm 43 and my metabolism has gone into "turtle" mode!).

Anyhow -- thanks for letting me vent on this subject -- it made me feel much better!

Julie
 
I do think that sometimes we are all guilty of getting "used to" a certain body type and then something different looks unhealthy to us.

For example, I have found myself being critical of my own body when I look at Cathe & crew's bodies, and even a lot of the people here on the forums. Then I have to remind myself that my weight is fine, I look fine, etc. But I've gotten so used to looking at ripped abs and arms that mine seem flabby by comparison.

By the same token I think that some people who are overweight and maybe spend a lot of time with other overweight people can forget what a "healthy" weight looks like. Therefore, someone who weighs much less than them must be unhealthy. I think it's easy for one's viewpoint to get skewed. (I certainly don't think this is true of all overweight people, but I know a few personally whom I think have a skewed idea of what is a "healthy" weight.)

And Julie, I haven't seen you since last summer, but you certainly looked healthy and strong to me back then!:7
 
Good for you!! I was told once by someone that what others think of me is none of my business. Just concentrate on how YOU feel about YOU. That is all that matters!! You go girl!!

Lisa
 
Good for you!

Janie

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The idea is to die young as late as possible.
 
Thanks Jodi for the compliment! I have lost about 8 pounds since the last road trip. I'm still within my healthy weight, however (according to my age/height). I mostly lost my tummy (which is where I carry MOST of my weight unfortunately). I've also toned up quite a bit since last summer (which I guess makes me look skinnier than what the scale really says). So people probably think I weigh less than I really am.

Again -- thanks for the compliment -- I'm so looking forward to seeing you again in July!!

Julie
 
Hi Lori, sorta off topic here, but I had to ask. I just saw your pics and I love your green sport top. Where did you get it?
 
You wouldn't beleive how many people around here have asked about that top:) Unfortunatly (for you! LOL) my sister bought it for me at a Kmart store (I think) There really isn't a brand name on it, but it does have great support just the same.

Lori:)
 
I get the same thing about riding my bike, so instead of going for a run, I go for a ride. I had a neighbor *friend* who actually make the comment that I was a poor mother because I rode my bike all the time. That took my breath away considering I quit my career to stay home with my two kids and figured that being healthy and happy were important ingredients to being the a good mom. Riding a bike and being physically active is my prescription medication to handling stress and keeping a clear mind.

Comments like those are just so much static to me, and viola, the same woman has three children of her own now and I wonder if her words haunt her.
 
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