Is it school or a fashion show?

E

exercise forever

Cathlete
Yes, its that time again to go school shopping. And I love to shop for them, but my son is unbelievable! My daughter is not as pricey as he is. She is particular about how it fits and looks. My son on the other hand has to have air Jordans and all the expensive stuff. I already bought him 2 pair in the last year and a half. I will spit before I pay another $100 for a pair of shoes!

I don't mind buying clothes in style like they want, but I draw a line on how much I will spend anymore. My son says he will be embarrassed if he doesn't wear the right shoes. Heaven help me!

Have you experienced the same thing and how did you handle it?


Thanks for any advice!

kim
 
My DH's nephew is into the $100 sneakers too. If it were my son, it would be no way jose are you getting $100 sneakers but it's also relative to your household income. For us to buy our son sneakers that cost that much would be foolish but if we brought in a six- figure income it might not be such a big deal...but then again, for a kid to get sneakers that cost that much is silly to me regardless of wether or not we have that kind of cash so maybe an increased income WOULDN'T change my mind after all...???

JMO. :)
 
I took my son shopping today also. He was having senior pictures taken today plus needed new clothes for school. I actually did pay $100 for sneakers. I did feel it was pricey, but over the last 2 years his sneakers have been relatively cheap, so I didn't mind. I just remind myself that I would pay that much for my own shoes if they were not on sale. He is into Abercrombie and Fitch (not sure of the spelling) for clothes. I bought him 2 outfits and they were fairly expensive. Again, they were about the same I would pay for my own clothes. I told him 2 outfits was all he was getting for now because they were so expensive. There is no way he will outgrow the jeans unless he has a HUGE growth spurt as they are a little big. I don't mind paying a little extra for jeans as they last forever. My own jeans can cost anywhere from $30 up to $80 a pair, depending on the brand.
 
My 12 yr old son doesn't care where his sneakers come from, but he would like all of his clothes to be Mossimo from Target. And he also told me, "No more tighty whities, I want boxers." So, for his birthday on July 10th he got some boxers among other things.:)
 
Oh no!!! I'm so scared!!!

My boys are just 3 years and 19 months...but I thought I would be escaping all that jazz with BOYS. Shoot!!!

I know for sure that our clothing budget would be a disaster if I had given birth to a girl...but I really did think we were safe with boys. (Heck, my husband only gets excited about an article of clothing if he got it on TRIPLE clearance at Target. And if I didn't purchase new underwear for him every once in a while, I'm pretty sure he would never notice the holes in his undies. **sigh**)

Sorry to hear of your plight, Kim!!

:) MEECHER
 
My sons (9 and 12) are just starting to care about their clothes, but not much. I think if they wanted a pair of $100 sneakers I would do what I usually do when they want something more expensive than what I'm willing to pay. I would offer what I usually pay for shoes(about $50) and they could pay the rest. I would be sure they had plenty of chore opportunities to make the extra money. That way they have an investment in the shoes as well, so they better really want them.

We have these discussions all the time about other kids who have more stuff. I'm always telling them that there will always be others that have more so get used to it. Are they still going to need $100 sneakers when they are paying all those many lifes expenses on their own money? Hopefully not, until they start making their doctor's salary anyway :)
 
Hi Ducky. Just wanted to say I like your idea! I will have to remember that when Joey is 10 years old and wants something that I feel is too expensive to buy him...:)
 
ROTFLMAO- Why are men like that? My husband comes to me w/ whatever he wants to wear and says: "Does this match? Do you think it's too hot for this?" I have always wondered if other people believed that old saying that men unconsciously look for traits of their mother in their wife? I went out w/ my SIL and my husband had to cook. I come home and they had t.v. dinners when ,mind you, I had chicken soaking in bbq sauce that he could have baked/grilled. You take him grocery shopping and everything you DON'T need goes in the cart. :)
 
I thought I escaped this when I gave birth to two boys, too. My youngest could not care less about this stuff, but my oldest does. Not clothes, but shoes. He doesn't mind jeans from Walmart, but the older he gets (15 now) the more $$ the shoes are getting. I told him last year if he wants those pricey shoes, he has to a) do more chores around the house and not complain about it, and b) take care of them so they last longer. I am happy to say the shoes we bought last fall are still on his feet. He's smart enough to know to buy them a little big at first lol. So I guess I feel if it's only once a year, the $80-$100 is worth it. If he was younger and still growing so fast, no way.
Jill
 
its def a fashion show. i dont have any kids but I rmemeber distinctly when I was in school - I am the youngest of 4 so I got all the hand me downs. I dont think I got a brand new pair of my own nikes til I was like 15 or 16. I got made fun of alot and picked on in school because of it. i hope kids arent that bad anymore. t made me dread going to school.:( When/if I have kids I will def not spoil them rotten but i will try my best to get what they want (within reason)
 
"I just remind myself that I would pay that much for my own shoes if they were not on sale....My own jeans can cost anywhere from $30 up to $80 a pair, depending on the brand."

**********************************************

I guess maybe that's the difference because I have never spent more than $60 on a pair of sneakers and try my hardest not to spend more than $30 on jeans. I'll spend $40 if I have to but that's my absolute limit and that's only if they are absolutely perfect fitting! Am I cheap? Maybe LOL but that's just me! :7 :p :7
 
I agree kids should look neat and clean for school, but these kids that think they got to dress a certain way to be accepted is a crock of bull!! We all want our kids to be accepted,but is the lable on clothes the answer. I can be just as guilty as anyone else. But from now on those shoes better be on sale for me to purchase them.

My son doesn't care if his jeans come frome target or walmart. As long as they are baggy carpenter jeans. Even his shirts don't have to be at a expensive store. but it is something about having those particular shoes.

I know that it is the one thing that kids like about the first day of shool is showing off their new outfits. Heck my daughter said the only thing she is looking forward to school is seeing her friends. I guess I can see friends are more fun than books. I often tell them that their friends will not graduate them or get them a job.



Well I've blabbed about this enough.


kim
 
I don't have kids but I have always been in favor of school uniforms for this reason. I wore a uniform to school and it was just that much more simple, for my parents and their bank account too I'm sure!

Sparrow


___________________
www.scifichics.com
 
My father had a very good salary (my mother stayed home) all my years growing up, however, we could not be "showy" (is that a real word?) about it. My sisters and I dressed in clothes from Limited, Gap and the like. The way my parents handled us was, they would give us X dollars each and drop us off at the mall. If we wanted a pair of $100 sneakers we could get it, but then there wasn’t much left over.
Susan C.M.
 
No you guys scared me. I have a 7 yrs old daughter, so much into fashion. I thought my little guy who is 13 months will not grow into that pattern. After reading this thread, my stomach felt tight. Oh, no! I got to watch out.

For my daughter non stop fashion craving from clothes, shoes to electronic gadgets, I told her that I could only give her $20-30, if she wants to get what she wanted, she need to be good at school and beheaves well (she throws her temper sometimes she could not get what she wanted), she could accumulate her weekly allowance and pay for it. If the item is still expensive, like the one she wants now is Nindudo game player, she can acculmulate all the money she earns and wait until her birthday, we can give her some birthday money as a birthday gifts. Pooling all the money together to get one.

I think the kids nowaday lack of concept of money. They thought money is dropping from sky. Sometimes she complained that I worked late. I told her that mommy works hard in order to make the money so that you can have a house to live, food to eat and clothes to dress. It does not matter how wealthy the family is, I think kids need to know nothing is for free. They need to work hard to earn it.

WantFit
 
I use to set one amount on how much my two kids could spend on school clothes. Usually it was $150 each. If they chose to buy a pair of shoes at $100, then they only had $50 to spend for other stuff. This worked and they made smart choices most of the time. I went with them to make sure they did indeed buy school clothes and not stupid stuff. I'm glad I don't have to go through that crap anymore!
Debbie in OH
 
I remember my school days, starting in 5th grade, the richer kids would really make fun of the *poor* kids for wearing non brand stuff and not having the latest and greatest. My friend's daughter just graduated 6th grade a couple months ago, the parents of a lot of the 6th graders rented a hall and had this big fancy dinner with dancing. That cost in the thousands.

I remember a lot of kids would really be ragged and put down because they didn’t get this or that to wear. I’m not supporting buying them $100 shoes every time you turn around. But on the other hand, how much do you want your kid to be teased by the other kids? And boys are the worse at this. I remember in high school the rich boys would walk over and fart at another boy because he wasn’t wearing this or that. I don’t even remember. There needs to be a line drawn, as to how much you’re willing to spend, but how about allowing the kid to work for what they want. IE a new pair of $100 shoes, should be worth quite a few chores etc. Let them do extra if they really want those. If they don’t they that’s something less you don’t have to go to the store for.

Another thing how about an outlet or a second hand store? Most of these have name brand clothes a lot lower then the department store, and in very good condition. So you can save money on the clothes and buy those precious must have shoes. I know a lot of kids who couldn’t pay $60 for jeans, $40 for a top and $100 for shoes use to do this. We had about five of them in the town I grew up in, and we’d actually get together and hit the second hand stores with the money we earned so we still had the name brands and the high priced shoes to boot. As well as we’d always keep an eye on a sale, and check the bargain racks. And what’s really sad for a lot of the kids, this was a must as they couldn’t take the ragging. It really killed a lot of kids self esteem, at the time I was too young to really realize why the kid acted out and had a really bad attitude but now I do, and I remember a lot of kids being very insecure during that time and any remark was taken personal.

I was so happy when I got into college, and then no one cared how you dressed.

Kit
 
I think the school should do something to stop this peer pressure. No matter you came from rich family or poor family, at school, material stuff should not be a judgement for kids. I know it is easy to say and very hard to do. But I think school teachers, parents should put an effort to end it. I don't think schools do enough to stop that. Kids should not have bully attitude no matter for what reasons.


WantFit
 
"I was so happy when I got into college, and then no one cared how you dressed."

Is this true? How do attitudes reverse so quickly? Is it because in college the kids buy their own clothes?

I absolutely agree with wantfit that material stuff should not be a judgement for kids. But I don't think schools or parents) can do anything to stop peer pressure, it is more a societal thing. The only thing we can do is try give our kids the tools (= self esteem) to not let the teasing affect them. Does it mean that you won't have friends just because you don't wear $100 shoes? I don't think so. And if there are some that wouldn't be friends with you for this reason you really don't want them as friends anyway. We don't need to be friends with everyone.

We need to teach our kids to be who they are and not conform to what is popular at the time. But this starts very early and if you get to the point that your kids absolutely have to have certain expensive brands to fit in then it is probably too late. I'm not saying we should dress our kids from second hand stores to save money, but don't pay more than you can afford for overpriced trendy clothing either. Be who you are and be proud that you don't fall to the silly pressures to buy this overpriced stuff.

*ducky looks around and sees that she is up on a soapbox* I'll get down now.
 
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