Irritated and annoyed...

ellesan

ellesan

Cathlete
I just need to vent...I decided to throw a murder mystery dinner party for my dad and brother's birthday this year (it's tonight). I invited a friend and her husband about two weeks ago, and emailed them their character parts, I did not invite their kids (no parts and they are not so well behaved). I've spent a lot of time and $$ making this a nice dinner party.

My son, who is very well behaved and can handle it, is playing a part in the mystery game. When this friend asked what I was doing with him, I explained. She said she'd get a babysitter for her kids.

A few minutes ago I talked with her and she asked if my son was still taking part in it and I said, "yes, why?" She said she wondered if she could bring her kids and hang out with my son because she didn't have a babysitter yet. UM...she had almost two weeks to set it up! AND she hasn't read the character part that she is supposed to be, AND I asked her to bring a side dish--like a rice or potato type dish--and she told me she got a veggie tray--I already bought one! I'm so annoyed at this point. She also said that her husband didn't get off work until 6 and didn't know what time they would be there after I already told them it starts at 6pm and she didn't mention this until today. Why did she wait until the last minute for all of this stuff!?

First, this is a birthday party for my family and I don't want her kids there, they would be LOUD and ruin it completely!! Second, I feel like she is trying to manipulate the situation and it really frustrates me. We were best friends in HS and lost touch and now reconnected last year after about 15 years.

Not sure what to do... :(:confused:
 
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I hear your pain Sandra. Sometimes guests can be sooo rude and don't appreciate the stress involved in planning get-togethers. At this point I don't think there is anything you can do except just hope for the best. Remember everyone there is family & friends so at the end of the day everyone should understand if all doesn't go as well as planned. Not much help I know.

Oh, with regard to their kids, if they don't have a babysitter lined up at this stage, I guess you'll have extra guests. :(
 
Don't back down. I had someone try to do that at a party I gave, and I said, sorry, but there would be other parents there and they would probably be ticked if someone else's kids came after they were told theirs couldn't. If she calls again, tell her you're sorry it didn't work out, but it has to be this way.
 
DON'T BACK DOWN!! She never had any intention of getting a babysitter!! Hold your ground, she is NOT a friend to do this to you.

Your Dad and brother are the important ones here, this party is for THEM and about them, not her kids.

And she has NO RIGHT to ask about your child, after all, HE is FAMILY.

Yeesh. As my Dad would say "she has more nerve than a mouthful of teeth."
 
Thanks all, I feel better after reading your responses. I talked it over with hubby when he got home and agreed not to back down and that it was our choice to have our son participate and if they don't like it so what. I wonder if the'll even show up. Oh well. It's about my family and having fun, so we will regardless!

No her boys can't play along (they don't have the attention span anyway!!)-- the mystery takes place on a cruise ship and one of the passengers (adult) is the victim and it's all very well scripted and planned out.

I'll be back after the party to give any juicy details. :p

Thanks again!
 
People can be soo rude!! Can't wait for the details.. Murder mystery parties sound like
so much fun I have always wanted to go to one
Tracy
 
Ok, we had such a great time!! It was so much fun. Everyone played their parts well and dressed up. Friend and her DH arrived almost 45 min late but no kids and they had a great time too. It all worked out just fine. No drama to report. I have no idea what she did with her kids--I didn't want to even ask.
 
Hey Sandra - glad to hear everything ended up OK.:)

You're game idea got me thinking though. It sounds like tons of fun and I would like to try and set up something like this. I've been on Amazon and ebay already researching and (WOW!) there are lots of things out there. Any suggestions for a newbie who has never been to a MM party or for a newbie who would like to try and host one?

I even found a Christmas murder mystery game that I am excited about! Definitely a new twist on Christmas. The same ole' party gets boring year after year so I think this would be really fun to try next year.

Also, any ideas on adding kids in? Most of the kids are 12 and up, so they could certainly pull off a character.

TIA
 
Sandra,

Glad everything went smoothly and the kids were not in tow as per your wishes. I feel guests do need to respect the host's request.

I also was going to ask which murder mystery company/service you went with. I am coordinating one for my family, and after looking around, settled on this one: Night of Mystery http://www.nightofmystery.com/shop/category/mysteries/all/ We're doing the HS reunion one, but I know this site also offered one with a cruise ship theme. I was wondering if it was the same service you used. I haven't purchased it yet and would love to hear your recommendation.

(Hi Ange!) :)
 
RunninTeach said:
Sandra,

Glad everything went smoothly and the kids were not in tow as per your wishes. I feel guests do need to respect the host's request.

I also was going to ask which murder mystery company/service you went with. I am coordinating one for my family, and after looking around, settled on this one: Night of Mystery http://www.nightofmystery.com/shop/category/mysteries/all/ We're doing the HS reunion one, but I know this site also offered one with a cruise ship theme. I was wondering if it was the same service you used. I haven't purchased it yet and would love to hear your recommendation.

(Hi Ange!) :)
Click to expand...

Thanks! I'm glad it went smoothly too :),total relief!

Yes, I did use Night of Mystery--the "clean" cruise theme. It's a little pricey IMO, but I'm glad I did it.

Here's my review:

Pros:
Immediate access/download, especially good for time constraints when you can't wait for the mail

Everything comes if PDF form, so I really liked that I could email all the info and character parts to everyone without dealing with stamps/mailing

There are good costume/decor ideas on the website and I had a lot of fun decorating the house on a budget. I'll post some pics in the next day or two when I have a chance.

Fun story line, everyone has "objectives" to accomplish before/after the murder and the rest you can ad-lib. It was so fun to see everyone's acting skills.

Cons:
You have to print EVERYTHING, nothing is sent to you. This was a little overwhelming and I would have preferred to have a kit sent with all this already done.

Some of the characters are not so well developed, proved a little challenging for those not inclined to acting (but everyone had fun!)



I bought fake $100 bills @ the dollar store-much better than printing them like they suggest. We did a potluck dinner, which was great.

It was 2.5 hours long, which seemed perfect to have a meal and get everything done. I can't compare it to other mysteries, but I would recommend it. My son loved it and wants to do the western one next year. My whole family raved about how fun it was, great to do something different!
 
TIA, you should totally do it--SO much fun! My family was still raving about it today and talking about which one we should do next year.

I had never done one either, so it was a little daunting and a LOT of work, but worth it.

I did a lot of creative things for decor:
made "port holes" out of white drawing paper and "water" paper from the craft store. I labeled the bathroom with one of these and it said, "Port-o-potty." Everyone got a good laugh out of that.

I made a life-preserver arch for the entry, where they usually do the photo and took a picture of everyone there when they "came aboard" the ship.

I had shells, used my table linens and china, I made it a "holiday" cruise theme and used oranges and cranberries for decor as well with the shells.

I do calligraphy, so I made name tags and place settings and got some glittery fish/coral stickers to put on the place settings.

That's just a few things...

My son (played the towel boy) is 11 yrs old, totally LOVED it and BTW he was the only one who solved the mystery! He also made the most money (everyone is given fake $$ at the start to bribe others or keep secrets, etc.) Some have really adult themes, so I'd just be careful of that. The Night of Mystery (and I'm sure others) have clean/teen versions better suited to youth groups. Do it, you'll love it!!

angie_nrs said:
Hey Sandra - glad to hear everything ended up OK.:)

You're game idea got me thinking though. It sounds like tons of fun and I would like to try and set up something like this. I've been on Amazon and ebay already researching and (WOW!) there are lots of things out there. Any suggestions for a newbie who has never been to a MM party or for a newbie who would like to try and host one?

I even found a Christmas murder mystery game that I am excited about! Definitely a new twist on Christmas. The same ole' party gets boring year after year so I think this would be really fun to try next year.

Also, any ideas on adding kids in? Most of the kids are 12 and up, so they could certainly pull off a character.

TIA
Click to expand...
 
Thanks so much for all the info, Sandra...now that I've heard a testimonial from someone outside of the company website, I feel confident going forward with my order.

ellesan said:
My son (played the towel boy) is 11 yrs old, totally LOVED it and BTW he was the only one who solved the mystery!
Click to expand...

That is hilarious! Good for him.
 
Happy it went well for you - sounds like fun!

Anyone ever see The Office episode where Michael had an office murder mystery? Hilarious. My new fave show, BTW. Where have I been the last few years? Having fun watching all the reruns.

Heidi
 
Wow that sounds so fun Sandra ! Haven't heard of these before. (Yep I'm deprived . . . :p )

Got me to thinking that DH has a 50th coming up next spring. Would definitely liven up the old hum drum of a bday party !

Hmmmmm . . .
 
Thanks for the info. and tips Sandra. Have you (or anyone) ever done any of the murder mystery party box games? I'm just wondering what the differences are in those and the downloadable games. I guess if I do the Christmas party next year I'd better get on it in the fall and start getting things organized. Late November and early December sneak up on me and I'd have a hard time getting things done. It sounds like the boys would enjoy helping me getting things ready since they love to draw and decorate.:) This sounds so exciting! Thanks for posting about it.

Hi Cathy!:) Thanks for posting that link. I'd love to hear how your party goes.
 
I'm glad it all went off without a hitch! I have a friend who used to throw these now and then. Of course, by the time we met, she had quit throwing them as she and her DH were getting a divorce!

I'd love to do one, but, alas, don't have enough "real" friends to have one with! LOL!

Most of the people I know are pretty flaky and would say they were coming, then back out. Sad, but true! We live pretty isolated lives! We're too "active" and "thrill-seeking" for most of the people I know! Pretty much, they think I'm crazy! Bwaaaa, haaa, haaa! Oh, if they only knew . . .

Maybe we could get Cathe do throw one of these at the end of one of the road trips instead of a dance party? Hmmm, now there's an idea!
 
Govtgirl said:
DON'T BACK DOWN!! She never had any intention of getting a babysitter!! Hold your ground, she is NOT a friend to do this to you.

Your Dad and brother are the important ones here, this party is for THEM and about them, not her kids.

And she has NO RIGHT to ask about your child, after all, HE is FAMILY.

Yeesh. As my Dad would say "she has more nerve than a mouthful of teeth."
Click to expand...

Govtgirl, I'm going to use that saying ""she has more nerve than a mouthful of teeth."

I'm glad it went well
 
buckeyegirl said:
Anyone ever see The Office episode where Michael had an office murder mystery? Hilarious. My new fave show, BTW. Where have I been the last few years? Having fun watching all the reruns.

Heidi
Click to expand...

Heidi, that episode is hysterical...I think I will send it out to my family as an example of how NOT to do our murder mystery.
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