Invisible 50s

[kenja]

Diane57, that is what I was thinking of when I started this thread! Not about being hit on by men or necessarily how good a shape we are in, but the mere fact of being middle aged and invisible in so many ways. Your analogy with that wonderful show "Six Feet Under" was perfect! Some of us may still look OK but we are still , in a lot of ways, invisible!

 

[JeanneMarie]

Diane57, that is what I was thinking of when I started this thread! Not about being hit on by men or necessarily how good a shape we are in, but the mere fact of being middle aged and invisible in so many ways. Your analogy with that wonderful show "Six Feet Under" was perfect! Some of us may still look OK but we are still , in a lot of ways, invisible!

I guess I totally missed your point then! I did think you were referring to "attention" regarding looks and how we present ourselves.

Since that isn't what you meant, I must admit I still don't understand. I don't feel invisible in any way I guess. I am 100% positive I couldn't get away with shoplifting a lipstick!

 

[ReneePruitt]

Diane57, that is what I was thinking of when I started this thread! Not about being hit on by men or necessarily how good a shape we are in, but the mere fact of being middle aged and invisible in so many ways. Your analogy with that wonderful show "Six Feet Under" was perfect! Some of us may still look OK but we are still , in a lot of ways, invisible!

Yes thats what i thought u meant! Like i said i feel same way. Like im not even here. I cooulld care less if men look at me. Lol

 

[fit44]

What makes you invisible?
I'm not understanding what you're saying. You said it's not about your family or loved ones.
I'm with Jeanne, it's really a mindset. I couldn't steal a tube of lipstick without getting noticed. I'm super chatty when I'm out shopping or at my hair salon.
The last time I was at my hair salon I met a gorgeous 60 year old woman, who IMO defied what most 60 year old women look like. She had on heels, trendy jeans, cute top, hair extensions, and a 10 carat diamond. She was not invisible. Everyone (women of all ages) noticed her and talked to her. There is no way she could steal a tube of lipstick! LOL

I don't get what makes you feel invisible if it's not about people noticing you (both men and women)?

Please, listen to the advice from this beautiful 90 year old woman. You can't tell me this woman is invisible because of her age. I love how she says she doesn't have time for green bananas.

ADVANCED STYLE: Ilona Smithkin: Wisdom From A 90 Year Old Lady

 

[diane57]

Fit44, I'll try to clarify. Using your example, the woman at the salon with the hair extensions, etc., was noticeable because she dressed and/or acted in a noticeable way. I have never been that type of person, I dress well but comfortably, do not wear a lot of makeup or trendy clothes, am not especially chatty with strangers. But I have dressed and acted this way my whole life, and when I was younger (I would say under 45 or so) men were flirty with me and gave me a fair amount of attention, whereas now they just don't look at me the same way. I guess what I am saying is to be noticed now I would have to change myself into a more "flashy", "in your face" person, like the woman at the salon; I would have to make an extra effort to dress and act a certain way to be noticed whereas when I was younger I was noticed just by existing in my comfortable, un-extensioned, un-flashy state I might not be expressing this well but that's how it feels to me. And I think probably I am focusing mostly on male attention and how it used to come to me effortlessly. My husband still gives me compliments and attention but I feel like, by changing nothing on my part except getting older, I am no longer very attractive to other men. I know I could remedy this by dressing up more, being more flashy, etc., but I just miss being "me" and feeling like men are attracted to me just the way I am.

 

[JeanneMarie]

Diane,

I think I understand what you are saying, but you still used "being attractive to men" in your explanation. So I am still thinking that's what we're talking about here.

I am not flashy. I'm probably the least flashy person I know. I don't have long painted fingernails, hair extensions or the like. I'm not chatty to strangers. Yet, I still don't feel invisible to anybody, whether a man or woman.

As I said before, I think maybe you confusing "being invisible" to the inevitable change in how people react to other people of different ages. Forty years ago, I thought 20-something year old guys were hot. Now I look at them and think they could be my son. They are not on my radar in the same way, just like I'm not on their radar in the same way. It's a shifting of perspective that's natural and normal. I don't think that makes us invisible at all!

It doesn't take flashy to make an impression on people. I honestly think it's all about attitude and self confidence. Beautiful and interesting comes from within, not how much make up you have on and what color your nails are painted. Even so, I'm not saying not to present yourself nicely, but honestly, you don't have to do all that work to be a noticeable, attractive 50-60-70 year old.

 

[fit44]

The 60 year old woman I met was not flashy...well, maybe the 10 carat diamond was! OMG! She wore it well. No long painted nails or heavy make-up (heavy make-up on an older woman makes them look harsh IMO).
She was dressed very conservative, but she was up-to-date, and did not give into "I'm too old to wear this or wear my hair a certain way." It was more her attitude and the way she carried herself..Her hair looked fantastic because we were at the salon. I don't know, is dressing in the latest styles considered flashy? Wearing heels flashy? I love heels, I guess I'm flashy. I read fashion blogs and stay up on the latest looks. I love clothes and always have.
The hair extension are for volume, not flash....and most of the women who get them at my salon are over 40 because they can afford them!



You say it's not about male attention, but that is what I'm reading. I don't want young men flirting with me. I have a 30 year old son, and so I look at men his age as children. My son has told me his friends (both male & female) comment on my beauty. It's flattering, but it's how I feel about myself that matters the most. I feel better when I take the time to dress and style my hair. It doesn't hurt that my DH always makes me feel as though I'm the most beautiful woman in the room.

I wanted to add....when I run to the store in sweats and messy hair, I try my best to be invisible!

 

[JeanneMarie]

I don't know, is dressing in the latest styles considered flashy? Wearing heels flashy? I love heels, I guess I'm flashy. I read fashion blogs and stay up on the latest looks. I love clothes and always have.

I definitely love clothes too! In fact, I always laugh when I read threads (on VF mostly) asking how much you spent this past year on fitness items (DVDs, equipment, etc.). I laugh because I spend very little on fitness items anymore. I use what I have. I DO spend a LOT of money on clothes and shoes though. That's my passion and I so enjoy wearing pretty fashionable clothing.

Like fit says, it's so much in your attitude. And that attitude doesn't have to be loud, overbearing and over the top. An up to date, classy look with a positive outlook is all it takes!

 

[complik8td]

Ditto to everything you said, Fit44. I have always loved nice clothes and great shoes. Today, I shop primarily at White House | Black Market. LOVE their clothes! And, I feel their clothes are age-appropriate and classic in style. I got hair extensions recently (as you may recall ) and they will be going with me into my permanent resting place. I have already undergone several cosmetic surgical procedures, I see an aesthetician regularly, and when the time comes to tighten up the neck (and who-knows-what-else!), I will do that too. I am 54, my husband is 64. Young men in their 30s are just that.... young men... my children's age. I am NO cougar, lol. My DH always compliments me on my appearance and I am still desirable to him, so that is what is most important to me. My children often compliment me on my appearance, and I will admit that I definitely do NOT look like a granny! Like you, I try to be invisible when I run to the grocery store looking disheveled after a grueling workout, but doesn't someone always stop and ask me what I intend to do with the young Thai coconut I have in my cart?! haha. Grace and style are an attitude. Ladies, I would love to be 35 again, but it isn't going to happen, so now I have an attitude!!

 

[fit44]

I DO spend a LOT of money on clothes and shoes though. That's my passion and I so enjoy wearing pretty fashionable clothing.

I gave up trying to share a closet with DH (he loves shoes too).
This is what I want to turn my son's old bedroom into...

 

[JeanneMarie]

Ditto to everything you said, Fit44. I have always loved nice clothes and great shoes. Today, I shop primarily at White House | Black Market. LOVE their clothes! And, I feel their clothes are age-appropriate and classic in style.

This is where I shop primarily too. The styles are current without being too youthful and the quality is excellent. They also carry smaller sizes, which is great! I am fortunate enough to have a WHBM outlet store about 10 minutes from my house. If I don't mind waiting about 4-5 months for some of the styles, I'll find them at a huge discount in the outlet store. Last year I found a beautiful cream colored leather jacket that started out at $299 in the retail store. I paid $40 for it! Score!!

 

[complik8td]

I LOVE that closet!! Hubby and I each have a nice walk-in. Thankfully, we don't have to share a closet. I have a photo of a closet that is similar to the photo you posted, posted on my wall board in my office/craft room. I call it my dream closet. It looks like a boutique. So cool! I don't watch often, but did you see Lisa Vanderpump's (RHOBH) dressing room and closet? Holy shazam!!!!

 

[JeanneMarie]

I gave up trying to share a closet with DH (he loves shoes too).
This is what I want to turn my son's old bedroom into...

DROOL!!!!

What a great closet/room!

 

[JeanneMarie]

I LOVE that closet!! Hubby and I each have a nice walk-in. Thankfully, we don't have to share a closet. I have a photo of a closet that is similar to the photo you posted, posted on my wall board in my office/craft room. I call it my dream closet. It looks like a boutique. So cool! I don't watch often, but did you see Lisa Vanderpump's (RHOBH) dressing room and closet? Holy shazam!!!!

Yep! I saw that! It looked like something in a castle. Beautiful!

I have a pretty nice walk in, but share it with DH. Poor guy has about 1/10th of the whole closet. The rest is mine. I need to weed out the stuff I don't wear anymore. I recently found a second hand store that pays pretty good for used WHBM clothing. I can't wait to take some of my older items in and "make" money for a change!

 

[JeanneMarie]

Now that we're talking great clothes and cool closets, that reminds me of another thing that's good about being in our 50's.... the ability to afford all of this wonderful stuff! I could never afford such nice clothing/shoes/jewelry 30 years ago. Life is good!

 

[fit44]

Now that we're talking great clothes and cool closets, that reminds me of another thing that's good about being in our 50's.... the ability to afford all of this wonderful stuff! I could never afford such nice clothing/shoes/jewelry 30 years ago. Life is good!

EXACTLY!

 

[complik8td]

I recently found a second hand store that pays pretty good for used WHBM clothing. I can't wait to take some of my older items in and "make" money for a change!

That is GREAT! There is a consignment shop in my neighborhood, but they are sooooo picky about what they will accept, so I just give away the clothing I no longer wear. It is very much appreciated by those who are receiving the items.

 

[fit44]

I LOVE that closet!! Hubby and I each have a nice walk-in. Thankfully, we don't have to share a closet. I have a photo of a closet that is similar to the photo you posted, posted on my wall board in my office/craft room. I call it my dream closet. It looks like a boutique. So cool! I don't watch often, but did you see Lisa Vanderpump's (RHOBH) dressing room and closet? Holy shazam!!!!

There are several closet/room ideas on pinterest. I have 3 empty bedrooms now, so I have the space to turn one into a dressing room/closet.

 

[fitfa]

Not in my fifties yet, only 48. I got what I thought was a great compliment the other day when someone thought my 25 year old son was my brother. I will say I do try hard to stay looking young. I don't dress like a teenager but I do try and stay stylish. I exercise with Cathe and take good care of my skin.

 

[complik8td]

There are several closet/room ideas on pinterest. I have 3 empty bedrooms now, so I have the space to turn one into a dressing room/closet.

Have a BLAST with that! I would be very excited! The really fun part begins when the project is complete and you can place all your belongings "just so." A place for everything, and everything in it's place. Love it! Have fun!