Increasing numbers of child-free by choice people

RE: Ya know.....

Let's drop it already. As a parent who views this my #1 job and #1 contribution in life you childless folks aren't gonna change me. Nothing in the world makes me happier and prouder than being a good Mom. Yes I have a good job, friends, active in the community, volunteer,but parenting is most important.

LIVE AN LET LIVE. Fortunately I have a wide variety of friends, male, female, stay at home moms, working moms, 20s, 30s, 40s, straight, gay, very successful, struggling to get by. That's what makes the world go round. When my working mom friends put down stay at home moms it makes my blood boil, it's THEIR choice.
It's the IN your face MY LIFESTYLE folks that are just SOOOO annoying and NEVER bring anyone over to their side.

Everyone just go work out!!!
 
RE: Ya know.....

That's the problem--people assume all child-free by choice people are child haters. I think stay-at-home moms are great, as are working moms.

I have no issue with people having kids per se--heck, my siblings do, as do my DH's. The problem comes in when people with kids expect those of us without to make sacrifices for them (the adults) because they failed to plan adequately or are too selfish to make their children their first priority. No child should suffer, but the irresponsible adults who chose to have the kids without planning should--those are just the consequences.

As to whether this discussion is appropriate for the board, my thought is that were it not, the initial thread would have been deleted.
 
RE: Ya know.....

Maribeth: Wow, rights have been so expanded as to include never being annoyed, ever, by children. That's news to me. Can I include the right to never be annoyed by adults, too? Boy, I'd love to have the right to never be annoyed by slow, incompetent cashiers. Or rude drivers. Or people shouting in cell phones. Wow, a huge category would definately be government workers. Everytime I have to go to the DMV my rights are trampled left and right. Can we include the weather? It annoys me when it gets too hot or too cold with no deference to my sensibilities.

You are seriously confused about what a right is.

You come off as anti-child by meticulously going through a list of grievances against rudeness, but focusing on children. Your narrow focus belies your very protests of not being anti-child.
 
RE: Ya know.....

Buttercup

You are SOOO Right! I love it!!

Wow it's beautiful outside in MA after a LONG COLD winter... have been outside.. NICE.
 
RE: Ya know.....

Buttercup,
Your protests mark you as one of the adults about which I post. Perhaps it is you who is confused about the definition of rights--life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are the inalienable rights bestowed upon us by the preamble to our Constitution. The interpretation thereof is somewhat open.

You have the right to let your kids do as you please. However, as a friend of mine who is a responsible parent says, "Your right to swing your fist ends at my nose." The parent of a child who figuratively hits me in the nose while exercising his/her right to swing a fist is the one responsible for violating my rights.

I don't care if I come off as being anti-child to some--those some are the irresponsible adults who fail to parent their kids.
Maribeth
 
RE: Ya know.....

Na..Buttercup...I personally loved your post!

Well time to go shopping with my daughter - spring clothes shopping - YIPPEEE and then KPC or L&G.

SO nice spring is really here in Boston today (oh that's 54 for us!!!)
 
RE: Ya know.....

Weren't we ALL children once??? I'm sure at one point or another we all annoyed a grown up. That's life.

It was 58 degrees here today in Chicago too!! My little boy and I had a wonderful day together!
 
RE: Ya know.....

Some of us were children once ... but apparently others simply appeared out of nowhere, possessing not an ounce of tolerance for other human beings and their sometimes annoying ways. What a pity.

It was 53 here in North Central Ohio!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know the cold is coming back Monday, but today felt AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!

Carol
:)
 
Danielle,

I agree with you whole heartedly on this. I used to have a boyfriend who bragged endlessly about how successful he was - big house, big car, fantastic job, lots of friends, he was great at karate, blah blah. He once told me about his brother who was an alcoholic and who he has cut out of his life. He thought he was a better person than me and his brother because he has all the material possessions. I thought he was an a$sehole!

He lied about his karate (claiming to be ranked 3rd in the world and won the National Championship twice) but when I went to see him fight in one of the championships he didn't last for longer than 30 seconds on the mat. He was vain, shallow and superficial, totally obsessed with karate training and the bloody gym. His whole life is revolves doing sport and exercise, dieting and wearing Versace and fancy restaurants. He doesn't want to get married and have children because it will mean having to give up this fabulous lifestyle and scuppering his ambition of becoming a karate champion. (If you saw him fight, you'd know that he has as much chance of becoming national karate champion as I have of winning the marathon - he was a total loser.) For somebody like that to b!tch about people like me and his alcoholic brother is just trash! Compare to this moron, his loser-of-a-brother sounds positively human.

These rapists, drug addicts etc. that people are complaining about are adults. The decisions they make and the troubles they get into sometimes does not relate to their childhood, but rather their adulthood. When you are an adult you understand the difference between right and wrong and you choose the path in life you want to walk on. You make these choices as adults not as children: I could easily change for the worse and so can any person here.

I definitely don't see that I am better person simply because I choose a healthy lifestyle and never been in prison. And my advice to the person who made this comment and those who agreed with it is: 'Stop being so smug'. The Bible says 'Let those who have never sinned cast the first stone'.

Yen
 
Yen!!

Amen to that!

My brother was a caring person and tried to help others all the time. He tried many times to get help for himself...he just couldn't fight it.

It's the self absorbed people, who have no compassion for people, who make me sad.
 
Buttercup...

Hi Buttercup, sorry for this late answer.
It is true that France has a lack of newborns, in fact, the population is getting older, so we have special aids to encourage women to give birth. It is also true that these measures may induct some people to take advantage "too much" of the system, but this is not specific of immigration people, you know, every woman can take advantage of the system. And having a lot of children won't make people get richer, because the aids are limited, and you have the responsability to bring up your children correctly. This system is also supposed to make sure that you will have the same level of life after your newborn than before, but of course, it is not the case. It has some strange consequences. A friend of mine, who works with children who have psychologic problems, has now two young boys. With her husband, they have calculated that they would have more money by her staying at home and not working. She loves her work, she doesn't want to stop it, so this theory that with the aids government give you, you will live as comfortably as before is completly false. But the aids are here, and I think it is a good measure. But I am not sure that these measures have a real impact in wanting people to have more children. They have temporary benefices, but that's all. Because we are able to control birth, we are able to make choices : one, two, eight or zero children... And the choice will depend, apart from personal reasons, of your own economical situation.
Concerning our social security, I think it is great ! It is in danger, there are abusive use of it, but it is for me the best thing we have in France. Two years ago, a friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy, who came three months before he should. She used to despise the social security, because of our high income taxes, but... she admitted that she would probably never have enough money to pay all the doctors and the hospital that made her baby be in good health.
I hope this answers a little to your questions ;-)
 
it is the smart person who relizes if a child is right for them, and decide first rather than having a child, relizing they don't want it and harming or neglecting the child and don't think Trevor that dosen't happen. ALOT OF KIDS ARE MISSTREATED AND SCARRED FOR LIFE. Nothing wrong with people deciding they don't want kids- they are actually the smart ones for relizing this.
 
Oh My goddess people please..we all have our own opinions....Trevor if this place bothers you so, don't come in!!
 
I don't think marriage has anything to do with kids. It can or it cannot. I love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him- I didn't marry him so we could have kids and be "right" in the community. (jmo)
 
RE: Ya know.....

I think everybody who thinks they do not need the next generation should try to get goods/services within their own. That means, for a whole week do not socialize/go to check-outs, restaurants, co-workers, doctors, dentists etc. who are younger than you for 20 years or more.

If you are in your twenties, that's easy. But once we get up into our forties or older, you wouldn't be able to go to McDonalds.

Just a suggestions.
 
Everybody has a choice.....

...And it is not right for anyone to be critical of other peoples choices. Being a parent is a highly personal decision and should not be judged or influenced by others.
 
RE: Everybody has a choice.....

This is a great thread.

I am childless by choice and I have never considered it a selfish decision. The simple fact is that me and my husband would not make good parents. We recognized this early in our marriage and made the proper decision.

Being a parent is the most important job in the world. It's probably the most difficult job, too.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who have kids in order to fulfill their own needs. Why would a person have a baby to fill something that missing inside themselves? Isn't that a lot to ask of a child? In addition, there are the absentee parents whose kids are possessions, like their McMansions, SUVs, etc. I work with plenty of people who leave the raising of their children to caregiving and/or teachers. They dress the kids up in cute outfits like little dolls or get them involved in some sort of athletic endeavor so the parent has bragging rights.

It does amaze me that people--particularly MEN--have no qualms about telling me that I should have a baby. Look out, she's a BARREN woman! Meanwhile, if I ever dared say something about their decision to keep having kids, look out. They think they DESERVE promotions/awards because they have kids to support, even though they don't work half as hard as I [example, they sit around talking about restaurants/food/houses/etc. while I'm plugging away--this happens on a daily basis]. Or that they should be exempt from having to work late in a crisis or take a business trip. The single folks have it worse than the married-but-no-kids folks in this regard, though, but that's a whole other thread! It does amaze me how they will make snide remarks about my being a Double-Income-No-Kids married person while they bitch about not being able to move into a gated community on a golf course because 'the wife' is home taking care of the kids. [fwiw, me & my husband live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom pre-WWII house, drive modest cars, and do not go on expensive vacations]. I feel like saying, if you wanted all that stuff, why did you have kids and a non-working wife?

But it's none of my business so I keep my mouth shut. I just wish they would stay out of my business or keep their opinions to themselves, too.
 
RE: Ya know.....

>If you are in your twenties, that's easy. But once we get up
>into our forties or older, you wouldn't be able to go to
>McDonalds.
>

Which wouldn't be a bad thing....
 
Gee I never realized...

that! Thanks for informing me LUXX. I never realized that people are mistreated and scarred. I've had an awakening!
I think alot of people might be scarred for life reading the song lyrics from that band your hubby is in.
 
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