I'm peeved at my cat and don't know how to get over it

[BAM]

O.K., so this is mature! I've posted here several times with questions/concerns about my new cat that adopted me a few months ago. She was a stray and enjoys being outside but I have made her an indoor cat. I bought her a harness and she absolutely hated me putting it on her but when I did and took her outside, she seemed to be o.k. but put up a struggle when I brought her in and had to take it off of her. That was a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday I thought I'd try again since she's been crying to go outside. Again, I had to struggle to get it on her but once outside, she was fine. She struggled again when I took it off her but all was well. I then went to pick her up to wipe off her belly of any outdoor stuff and maybe she thought I was going to try and put the harness back on her (which was not in my hand or anywhere near us) and she scratched my nose in 2 places and my fingers got gouged. I'm lucky she didn't get my eye. This cat has a certain amount of tolerance for being pet and held and when she's done, she lets you know, sometimes by scratching or biting but not in the way she did yesterday. Earlier that day, she cozied up to me on the couch while I was napping and starting purring and doing her usual drooling. Now, I know she's a cat but she knows I love her and play with her and feed her, etc. and I am upset at her disposition. So I've been doing the adult thing and ignoring her and not playing with her - real mature isn't it? She's perfectly over it and isn't holding a grudge at my reaction to her scratching me. I had second thoughts about keeping her and I really wanted a cat that was loving all the time (which she's not) but she was growing on me. This is really bugging me because even though our pets are animals, you hope for lots of affection, and I certainly didn't expect to be scratched the way I was. Apparently I need some help here. Maybe I should see a cat psychiatrist, not for her but for ME!

Thanks for listening, er reading.

Bam

 

[Boingo1]

Cats are so finicky and ornery. it's always on THEIR terms, I swear. I don't blame you for being upset though. I have one cat that is VERY affectionate and lets you do ANYTHING to. He snuggles and lets you pick him up, scratch his belly, snuggle your face to his. My other cat HATES your face near hers. She only "allows" you to pet her back and behind her neck and ears (which she loves!). And she HATES to be picked up too, though my boys do it anyways. Neither of them are ornery enough to scratch or bite though. Only my long haired cat (the snuggly one) hates to be brushed, and will scratch.

 

[BAM]

Cats are so finicky and ornery. it's always on THEIR terms, I swear. I don't blame you for being upset though. I have one cat that is VERY affectionate and lets you do ANYTHING to. He snuggles and lets you pick him up, scratch his belly, snuggle your face to his. My other cat HATES your face near hers. She only "allows" you to pet her back and behind her neck and ears (which she loves!). And she HATES to be picked up too, though my boys do it anyways. Neither of them are ornery enough to scratch or bite though. Only my long haired cat (the snuggly one) hates to be brushed, and will scratch.

Ooh, I want your male cat! Maybe my cat and your female one would get along really well. Want to trade? I had one cat many, many years ago and she was a princess and would only like to be pet in the morning but she would sleep on my legs at night or under the covers and it was very cute. She never would do what this cat did. I guess in all fairness, this cat was a stray and I don't know her history so perhaps the only way she knew how to stop something she didn't like was to defend herself. But still, I'm not happy.

Bam

 

[Jaffas]

I understand your frustration. I have a cat that will only let me pet her in the morning before I get up. She's a drooler too. She lies on my chest and lets me scratch her chin and ears for about two minutes. Then she's done. She ignores us for the rest of the day until it's time for her evening treats. I still love her but if she were my only cat I'd probably get another one. Squirt on the other hand wanted attention AT ALL TIMES! She would run to me the second I sat down. If I wasn't sitting down she would meow at me and run to her special 'purr purr' spot hoping I'd come over to pet her. She went limp when you picked her up and you could do practically anything to her. Ok, I could go on all day about what a perfect little cat she was, but that's not going to help you any. I would stop trying to bring your cat out on a harness. It seems like stress of putting the harness on her is just not worth the rewards. (now that I think of it the ONLY thing I couldn't do to Squirt was put a harness on her, she hated it). She'll get used to being indoor only. Make sure she has at least one window, with an interesting view, she can look out of.

 

[LauraMax]

I think it's only natural. I remember when I took karate & my sensei told me to look mean, & after several attempts he said "you don't know how to look really mean b/c you don't have kids." My point being, we all get angry at those we love most sometimes. Sometimes the reasons are valid, sometimes not, but it's human nature. Certainly there have been times (finding my sofa in pieces immediately comes to mind) when I've given my puggle the cold shoulder (although it takes nanoseconds for her to warm me up, but she's not a cat ). The pug not so much, but he lacks the ability to harm or destroy anything.

 

[BAM]

Gabrielle, I was so sorry to hear about Squirt. I posted on your thread about her. She sounds like the cat that everybody would want. Hugs to you!

I think you're right about giving up on taking her outside. It really isn't worth it. I have held her in my arms before and would walk outside with her and that has worked so perhaps I'll only stick to that in future. That is, if I ever get over this! I'll just have to ignore her cries to go out. I don't have a lot of windows in my place but I have a glass door that she looks out of. At night time and in the early a.m., I hear her jumping down from the kitchen window which she is not allowed to go in since it's above the sink and we keep dishes there. She's such a rebel!

Bam

 

[BAM]

I think it's only natural. I remember when I took karate & my sensei told me to look mean, & after several attempts he said "you don't know how to look really mean b/c you don't have kids." My point being, we all get angry at those we love most sometimes. Sometimes the reasons are valid, sometimes not, but it's human nature. Certainly there have been times (finding my sofa in pieces immediately comes to mind) when I've given my puggle the cold shoulder (although it takes nanoseconds for her to warm me up, but she's not a cat ). The pug not so much, but he lacks the ability to harm or destroy anything.

I know you're right and this will pass. It's certainly not a big thing in the larger scheme of life but I'm not ready to forgive and forget yet. She's a very smart cat. Let's see if she'll be able to figure this out and start sucking up to me!

Bam

 

[HaveFun]

We got our indoor kitty (Princess) from the local shelter when she was 3 months old, but she had been an outside kitty prior to the shelter. DH was the one who wanted Princess, but Princess has bonded with our older DD (they are inseparable). Princess is a sweetheart, but she will nip if you try to rub her belly. You can hold her for as long as you want, just stay away from her belly

 

[BAM]

We got our indoor kitty (Princess) from the local shelter when she was 3 months old, but she had been an outside kitty prior to the shelter. DH was the one who wanted Princess, but Princess has bonded with our older DD (they are inseparable). Princess is a sweetheart, but she will nip if you try to rub her belly. You can hold her for as long as you want, just stay away from her belly

My cat absolutely does not like her belly rubbed. When we first found her, she was more gentle and you could do absolutely ANYTHING to her. After she was spayed and had her shots, her disposition changed. I posted about it here and apparently some others have experienced similar changes in their cats personalities after being fixed. Mine even walks funnier since her surgery.

Bam

 

[Beavs]

Bam...aren't you just being a tad catty?!
<ducks airborne rotten tomatoes and leaves thread>

 

[Fitnessfreakk366]

Bam, the original post you wrote was something I could have wrote. My dh and I just acquired a kitten about 6 weeks ago. I love him to death, but he isn't a very "cuddly" kitten. Won't sit with us when we're watching TV, he would rather be in the bathroom laying on our damp shower matt. WTH? When I pick him up he'll only stay in my arms for a few seconds, then he wants down. The ONLY time he's lovey towards me is when I feed him his favorite food or at 5 a.m. when he knows it's time for me to get up. He'll lay right next to my face and purr like crazy until I get up. He stays by me when I'm cooking and when I'm working out. Other then that, he's hiding or sleepig somewhere else in the house. It's weird. I don't understand it and I get frustrated at times. I love him to death, though, so I'm just trying to give him his space. Obviously he's not going to be the loving, cuddly kitten I wanted him to be, but he's his own kitty and thats ok with me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand. Like you said, we love our pets and want them to be loving towards us, not skiddish. I'm hoping once we get ours neutered, he'll be more loving towards us.

 

[BAM]

Bam...aren't you just being a tad catty?!
<ducks airborne rotten tomatoes and leaves thread>

Ooh, the fur's REALLY flyin' now! And just so you know, those aren't tomatoes yer duckin'!

Bam

 

[BAM]

Bam, the original post you wrote was something I could have wrote. My dh and I just acquired a kitten about 6 weeks ago. I love him to death, but he isn't a very "cuddly" kitten. Won't sit with us when we're watching TV, he would rather be in the bathroom laying on our damp shower matt. WTH? When I pick him up he'll only stay in my arms for a few seconds, then he wants down. The ONLY time he's lovey towards me is when I feed him his favorite food or at 5 a.m. when he knows it's time for me to get up. He'll lay right next to my face and purr like crazy until I get up. He stays by me when I'm cooking and when I'm working out. Other then that, he's hiding or sleepig somewhere else in the house. It's weird. I don't understand it and I get frustrated at times. I love him to death, though, so I'm just trying to give him his space. Obviously he's not going to be the loving, cuddly kitten I wanted him to be, but he's his own kitty and thats ok with me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand. Like you said, we love our pets and want them to be loving towards us, not skiddish. I'm hoping once we get ours neutered, he'll be more loving towards us.

Debbie, I was starting to adjust to her lack of lovin' in the way I would like and was understanding to when and where she liked to pet and not. But scratching my face the way she did with the intensity just threw me. I really am learning what not to do and I'll either have to accept it or decide how to deal with it. I'll get over this current incident and I'm sure things will return to normal with her but I'm not in any rush to show her attention.

Please let me know how your kitty is after being neutered. Like I mentioned in my other post, my cat got less affectionate after being spayed but yours is male and has the opposite disposition than my did at the beginning. I hope he becomes more loving for you. It's so nice to feel that unconditional love from a pet.

Bam

 

[kathryn]

It's definitely normal to feel animosity towards kitty after you were injured/attacked by her, but try to forgive her and forget the incident if you can, except as a learning experience.

I then went to pick her up to wipe off her belly of any outdoor stuff and maybe she thought I was going to try and put the harness back on her (which was not in my hand or anywhere near us) and she scratched my nose in 2 places and my fingers got gouged.

Cats can be very protective of their bellies (it is a vulnerable spot, and an area that is attacked by predators who try to disembowel their prey), so maybe that's what set her off. Also, as you've discovered, cats have their own purrrsonalities () and will show and accept affection on their own terms.

 

[kathryn]

I think you're right about giving up on taking her outside. It really isn't worth it.

Being that she was a stray, and spent who-knows-how-long outside, taking her outside may bring out more of the wild in her. If she can become a strictly indoor cat (with access to lots of screened windows to watch "kitty TV" and get fresh air), she may calm down some.

 

[Jaffas]

Gabrielle, I was so sorry to hear about Squirt. I posted on your thread about her. She sounds like the cat that everybody would want. Hugs to you!

I think you're right about giving up on taking her outside. It really isn't worth it. I have held her in my arms before and would walk outside with her and that has worked so perhaps I'll only stick to that in future. That is, if I ever get over this! I'll just have to ignore her cries to go out. I don't have a lot of windows in my place but I have a glass door that she looks out of. At night time and in the early a.m., I hear her jumping down from the kitchen window which she is not allowed to go in since it's above the sink and we keep dishes there. She's such a rebel!

Bam

Believe it or not somebody did not want Squirt. She was rescued from the euthanasia list at the pound. Her previous owners turned her in because they had too many cats. When we first got her she wanted to go out all the time. I think she was used to catching her own food. She was a very skilled hunter. We let our cats out in the yard under supervision but Squirt would sneak out. She would wait by the carport door because she knew we'd quite often come right back in for something we forgot and she dash. She was so fast sometimes we didn't even see her only to come home and find her sitting by the back door. She eventually learned that she was safe and loved and for the last few years she actually preferred being inside. So just give it time, your kitty will too one day learn the joys of being a pampered house cat.

 

[syzygy314]

My cat, Simon, thinks he's a dog! He snuggles, will curl up in my lap almost knocking whatever is IN my lap to get there, including my MacBook! He loves his belly rubbed, to be pet all the time and sleeps with us when it's cooler.

I know most of you disagree with this but we had ours declawed when he was little. If I had known about the other options available, I would have tried that first! I think they have soft covers for the claws or something now.

I think you need to commit to just an indoor routine if that's what you want or your kitty will never adapt.

I, like most of you, can never stay angry at my pets FOR ANYTHING! They are just too cute!

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[BAM]

It's definitely normal to feel animosity towards kitty after you were injured/attacked by her, but try to forgive her and forget the incident if you can, except as a learning experience.

Cats can be very protective of their bellies (it is a vulnerable spot, and an area that is attacked by predators who try to disembowel their prey), so maybe that's what set her off. Also, as you've discovered, cats have their own purrrsonalities () and will show and accept affection on their own terms.

Thanks, Kathryn. I will chalk this up to a learning experience and hopefully will be able to start giving her some affection in time. Thanks also for the info about the belly. That makes purrrfect (had to throw that one back at ya ) sense if one's cat is sensitive to that area. She does have access to fresh air through one of our windows and occasionally the back door when it's not too hot out. Ahhh, the kitty tail )) continues.

Bam

 

[BAM]

Believe it or not somebody did not want Squirt. She was rescued from the euthanasia list at the pound. Her previous owners turned her in because they had too many cats. When we first got her she wanted to go out all the time. I think she was used to catching her own food. She was a very skilled hunter. We let our cats out in the yard under supervision but Squirt would sneak out. She would wait by the carport door because she knew we'd quite often come right back in for something we forgot and she dash. She was so fast sometimes we didn't even see her only to come home and find her sitting by the back door. She eventually learned that she was safe and loved and for the last few years she actually preferred being inside. So just give it time, your kitty will too one day learn the joys of being a pampered house cat.

I hope you're right. If not, will you give her an attitude adjustment?

Bam

 

[BAM]

My cat, Simon, thinks he's a dog! He snuggles, will curl up in my lap almost knocking whatever is IN my lap to get there, including my MacBook! He loves his belly rubbed, to be pet all the time and sleeps with us when it's cooler.

I know most of you disagree with this but we had ours declawed when he was little. If I had known about the other options available, I would have tried that first! I think they have soft covers for the claws or something now.

I think you need to commit to just an indoor routine if that's what you want or your kitty will never adapt.

I, like most of you, can never stay angry at my pets FOR ANYTHING! They are just too cute!

Good luck and keep us posted!

I guess taking her out occasionally may be confusing to her. I am absolutely not going to take her out anymore. When I had my first long term cat 30 years ago, we had her declawed as well. We didn't know any differently and there weren't options back then. She healed very quickly and had no bad effects from it. My mother (who is of a gazillion generation ago) thinks we should have my cat now declawed which I won't do especially since she's skatin' on thin ice with me. I got her one of those scratch boards which she absolutely loves. In fact she loves it so much that sometimes she eats the parts that scratches off. Hey, at least she's getting some fiber.

Bam