I'm criticized for wanting to be healthy - Please help!

wendybdh

Cathlete
I work in a small dental office where there is constantly food around from pretzels to candy (don't worry we brush afterward:)) Anyway, whenever anyone asks if I want something and I say no all I hear is comments like "Why? Your too skinny - you don't need to lose anymore weight" Noone else there exercises or watches what they eat and it makes me feel out of place. When I first started there 5 years ago I gained about 20 pounds! I've lost that now and am 5'10" and 151 pounds - I'm not too thin and I eat healthy and exercise. I'm tired of being criticized for trying to stay in shape. I'm sure others of you have heard these comments before and I would like to know how to respond without being rude because I do get along with them. Please help. Thanks, Wendy
 
RE: I'm criticized for wanting to be healthy - Please h...

Sounds like a bit of envy to me, Wendy! You should NEVER feel badly for being healthy and fit. You do no service to the world being unhappy, unhealthy, and weak. I remember someone telling me once - "Would you be happy with what you are teaching others through your life if everyone was following you?" I love that because you are serving the world so much more by being an example of good health and strength. And, if others choose to take out their insecurities by making dinky comments - let them. It seems to me they would be talking about "things" no matter what!
Never deny WHO you are because others are insecure around you. Be proud of yourself! We all are proud of you for taking responsibility for your life!

jenni
 
I know, I used to work in a travel agency and it was the same way. People act like you are being anti-social by not joining in on the food. I would hate it when they would tell me I was too skinny - and it seems so narcissistic to say you like your body just the way it is! Maybe it would be more appropriate to just say "Thank you, I've worked hard for it!"

As for accepting the food, you could just say you'll help yourself later.

-Diane

Edited because I didn't know narcissistic had so many darned "s"s!
 
I just keeping repeating "no thanks" like a broken record. Small price to pay for being fit and healthy, and obviously it's easier to say "no thank you" than for them to workout and eat sensibly. Keep up the good work. There are some "pitfalls" to looking great, but let's be brave and rise to the occasion, I say.
 
co workers are a trip I don't know what they are thinking.Here's one from my office we were having a conv. about food and being over weight (I was just listening)and the one lady coworker said we ALL had big bellies I just laughed and she said you don't because your young (I'm 33 they are all early 50's)one day you'll have a belly to,you'll stop exercising.I said "hey give credit where credit is do I don't have a belly because I work hard.Plenty of people my age or younger don't have a fit body like mine so don't say it's because I'm younger (I don't consider myself young nor old).And I have been exercising for 13 yrs I don't intend on quiting".They hushed after that.It's always alike that "when your my age you'll have ache and pains blah blah blah".It gets so annoying they act as if I commit a sin not to eat what is offered to me I tell them if I ate everything that was offered I would be as big as a cow;-) .They actually think I don't eat but I eat more meals and probaly more cals (1800-2000)than they do.I don't know I guess if you don't live a healthy lifesyle you just don't understand the effort that is put into.anyway I feel your pain:)
 
Wendy, this happens to me at the office all the time, to the point where they are the rude ones with their comments, I still just say, "no thank you" and when they make a smart comment I let it go because they just don't get it. Anyway, I like how I look and no matter what they say, they can't change that.
 
Those attitudes you are experiencing at work are so prevalent I always chuckle when people comment that society caters to/pressures people to be thin. I think that being "heavy" and/or out of shape is much more accepted in today's real society. (I know I know all the fashion mags and TV shows w/skinny beautiful folks) But still. There is a lot of passive agressive behavior out there in the real world, pressuring people to be unhealthily overweight. "Come on, be with us, we're having FUN, why don't you live a little?". As if.

Jen
 
Wendy, you say it's a small dental office. Who brings in the food? Is it the same coworkers? Patients? Vendors? Perhaps you could try bringing in things you like to snack on? Healthy things. You'd have something to put in your mouth when everyone else is eating, and they'd have something healthy to try. Even if they didn't try it and reached for the donuts instead, you'd be planting a seed and setting an example.

I work in an office setting now, but in nursing units it was the same thing. If a patient's family member wasn't bringing in donuts or pizza for us, a coworker was baking or something. Especially on nights! Since we didn't have the cafeteria open, everyone would order out. Usually at a pizza place or Chinese. The last hospital where I worked is when I was on Weight Watchers, and the only way to combat all this constant barrage of unhealthy food was to bring things with me. I got so used to it, that after a while I was able to simply ignore the food lying around, AND the comments. They all saw the change in me, and three or four of them were kind enough to comment positively on it and actually ask questions about WW.

Afterwards, I started bringing in healthy things to share. Often it wasn't touched, but sometimes it was. Then, I started bringing in old workout tapes I no longer wanted. By this time I had found Cathe, and I gave away a lot of old Firms and all my FitPrimes, as well as a lot of other tapes I had bought over the years, used once, and decided I didn't like. You know what? They ALL were taken by people. One VERY overweight RN even asked me if she needed any specific dumbells to use the tape. No one else heard her, but she did ask. I had a spare set of 3#'s and 5#'s at home, and brought them in for her.

I had this job for over a year before I made my WW goal in October of 2003 until this past May, when I quit to take the job I have now at the insurance company. They all watched me maintain my weight by not eating the cakes and the cookies that were brought in. No one said anything by then. They just knew this was "me", and they also knew by then I wasn't going to allow myself to be sucked into an "attacking-type" conversation about my weight or my workouts, so they left me alone. If people brought up the subject with positive comments or questions, I would talk. When they said hurtful things or made sarcastic comments, I ignored them just as if I hadn't heard what they said. It took a while, but they eventually got the hint. As for the food issue, people would ask, "Do you want any of the pizza back there or did you bring food today?" I would politely answer, "Thanks for asking, but I did bring food today." And that would be that. If they did talk about me, I never heard about it.

Now, the two offices I cover at the moment always have food lying around, but they're much bigger than any nursing unit where I work, and it's easy to not have anyone notice when you aren't eating what's brought in. In a smaller place EVERYONE knows if you did or didn't, so I can sympathize with you.

Well, this post is way too long, but I hope it helps!!! Just be who you are, and in time they'll come to realize you have your convictions. They may talk about you behind your back, but who cares? You aren't responsible for their behavior. They're the ones who will have to account for it one day. And, I agree with whoever posted it's because of their insecurities. That's their issue - not yours. You just be YOU. Their words have no power over you unless you give it to them.

Carol
:)
 
Wendy,I adopt a nonchalant attitude and tell anyone who says I am too thin and obsessed with working out and eating clean that it's not about being thin. Being lean and strong is a sweet bonus to go with being energetic and less stressed out. Fitness is both a lifestyle and a hobby I love and it's rewards are many. And keep up the good work! You are setting a fine example and modelling your success. Sell it, girl!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

- Mary Oliver
 
RE: I'm criticized for wanting to be healthy - Please h...

It doesn't make sense does it? We are critizied if we are overweight, but we are even more so when we're too skinny....makes ya wonder.
 
Oh, the joys of working with women in an office. Yup. I have those joys myself!

I just tell them I ate and I'm not hungry. Or if they push, I tell them I can't because I have high cholesterol. Which is true! It's hereditary and I control it through diet and exercise so I don't have to destroy my liver with drugs.

Or you could use my favorite: I'm allergic. :+

I've had more people assume I can eat anything I want because I'm thinner than they are. We know that's not true. We know we all work hard and try to watch our diets. And we owe it to ourselves to be true to our goals. So don't let them push you and don't let them get you down. In fact, with your line of work, could you imagine saying, "Oh, no thanks! I won't have time to brush my teeth after!" :D

And when they ask why you bother trying to stay in shape, let them know that you're preventing future heart attacks and let them soak in that information for a while.
 
You know, it's a shame that people have to put up with the rudeness of coworkers or others who try to push their unhealthy lifestyles on them and then we try to find a polite way to deal with the situation. Why do we worry about being rude to them when they were first rude to us? Or try to make up some excuse, like being allergic or whatever?

I'm not advocating being downright rude (as in "If I ate that, I'd end up looking like you"--yikes!), but finding a way to be straightforward and strong.

Maybe just a repeated "no, thanks" is the most neutral reaction.
 
I often have this problem at work. Everyone on my team at work except for one other co-worker is obese. They are always bringing in tons of Krispy Kreme donuts, fresh baked cookies, chips, candy, etc. to share. When the two of us don't accept their offers, and they see us snacking on fruit, yogurt, granola, etc, it's almost as if they're angry about it. But why should they care what we eat??? But, I think it's just that they are jealous that we can control our weight, and eating habits and they haven't been able to do so. One of them is always on some kind of fad diet, for example. Just know that you're not alone, that many of us experience the same problem, and that your goals are more important. Don't give in! Once in awhile I'll bring in some fresh fruit or carrot sticks to share, and that sometimes eases the tension.
 
LOL!!!!! Kathryn - don't ya just WISH we had the nerve to say that to someone?? "If I ate that, I'd end up looking you!" - LOL!!!!!!!!!! It's rude and it's crude, but it's TOO funny!!!! That just cracked me up for some reason!!

Carol
:) :) :) :)
 
RE: I'm criticized for wanting to be healthy - Please h...

The people I work with assume I am 10 years or so younger than I am. They say it is easy for me at my age to manage my weight and exercise. I just smile inside because I know that I am as old or older than most. It's easier than saying something hurtful and dealing with the fallout. I know they don't mean any harm. Sometimes, I say that I'm short and don't carry weight well. Their idea of diet and exercise is taking a diet pill and healing from a gastroplasty. On this subject, we are worlds apart. No use fighting the tide on this one.
 
RE: I'm criticized for wanting to be healthy - Please h...

My favorite one-liner that I often think but choose, for obvious reasons, not to say is:

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.

And to me at least, that is true!
 
RE: I'm criticized for wanting to be healthy - Please h...

I get this at work a lot also. As a matter of fact, I get looks at work all the time because I bother to cook my oatmeal in the microwave instead of grabbing something quick, or say no thanks to birthday cake.

The other morning my boss grabbed a donut from a box and offered me one. I just said "No thanks, I don't do those anymore". He said, "Yeah, well I do!" My boss is about 50 lbs overweight.
 
I've had that problem for as long as I can remember. I've learned that the best way to handle it is to be inoffensive. In other words, say how great the food looks and how difficult it is for you to resist. Make them think you struggle with temptation, so you fit in. Never, ever, make others feel bad about what they are eating. Sometimes I say it's too early in the morning for me to think about food yet, or I can't eat doughnuts or other fried foods because of my stomach condition (true). Or just be way over on the other side of the office doing something urgent when the food comes out.

Another trick: If someone brings in something that is home baked using a special family recipe, I will take one bite and then spend 20 minutes saying how great it is. Make sure everyone knows that you ate some, so that they remember that you don't always resist everything.

Wow, I sound conniving. }(
 
I've found that a vacant, noncommittal smile and an "Oops - I forgot, I need to call a client" works best. I've had a lot of practice with it.

A-Jock
 
Hello Wendy,

The best way is to compromise. You take one piece or two and that's it.

Whenever food is offered at work I tend to be a bit greedy and take more than I need, I eat a little bit and then stuff the rest in my drawer. I will eat them over the course of a week, month, year whatever or I take them home and give them to my friends. If they go off then I throw them in the bin. People tell me I am like a squirrel stashing away for the winter.

I think the problem here is that you get the types who are health freak and don't touch anything ever! (I am not talking about those who has to avoid certain foods for medical reasons) And there are those who are just plain greedy and don't know when to stop. Depending who you work/socialise with you can never win. I must admit that when I come across a health freak I find them annoying as much as the ones who should be watching their weight but don't. I also think some people are masochistic who, if they think or if you tell them you are on a diet, will delight in trying to get you to break it.

There is also the reason that they are bad for you and not just because they are fattening. Processed foods have other ingredients like chemicals additives, sugar, salt, preservatives etc. You can tell them the issue is not just with weight but the quality of the food.


Yen
 

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