I suffer just as you do and it gets worse from Nov to May, particularly living here in sun deprived MI.
I haven't exercised much either since Nov. I just had zero motivation. But I didn't have much motivation to eat either so... I felt like crap pretty soon. Two weeks ago I just couldn't stand myself any longer and put fabulous music in my portable CD player, went to my local ice skating rink which has a really cheap fitness room and leapt on the treadmill. In just 2 weeks of high intensity, push as hard as I can powerwalking workouts, I feel so much better and am more motivated to continue. My endurance is back, everything in life seems easier...
The key for me is to get the hell out of the house. We have a rental place and whoever decorated it lives somewhere in the dark medieval ages because they pannelled the walls and ceiling with wood, for god's sake, and it's all so dark and depressing it makes me feel even worse. The local fitness centre is low budget and the equipment is not top of the range, but at least it has LIGHT!!!!!!! And warmth. I need those two things right now soooo badly.
I am not lifting weights right now, because I do that at home and right now, I can't stand to work out in this dark, cold, depressing place. But since it is increasingly getting lighter, soon I will resume weight lifting again. But the thing is to start doing something,and I have and I feel so much better.
The first few times I went to workout were extremely hard. I had to force myself to go. But I also talked myself through it, told myself that it didn't matter that I had lost so much fitness and wasn't in as good as shape as I had been a few months ago, but that it was OK, I would get there again, the important thing was to start.
Music is a great motivator for me.
ANother thing I do is get out fo teh house and go to my local Borders where rhewy know me and I feelwelcome. I sit there with a large latte and read, write letters to people, do research, whatever. The point is that I am surrounded by people, I am not alone, it is warm, there is light and I love books and to sit and read is one of my greatest pleasures. It helps.
The biggest thing is to lower your expectations of yourself during this time. Loathing yourself because you can't get motivated is pointless. You cannot help it. But if you can find a few things that ease the discomfort and self-disgust, however simple and innocent, even if they are passive activities like reading surrounded by other people, then it will all help.
Remember: nowhere is it written that if you do not do kick-ass workouts with Cathe at least 4 times a week then you are a complete loser. And anyway, while exercise definitely relieves depression, if you can't get motivated to do it, knowing that you cannot summon up the desire to do it and beating yourself up about it only makes things ten times worse. Give yourself permission to not exercise if you simply can't. But do find something that makes you feel more sociable and human, that makes you at least tolerable to yourself.
Maybe you would like to sit down with a big pile of old magazines and cut out pictures that are peaceful to you, that restore your inner peace or inspire. Stick them in a scrap book, make a collage? Anything is good.
Clare