I forgot how to date!

pjlippert

pjlippert

Cathlete
Hi Cathletes,

With my divorce final in the next couple week, I am slowly but surely putting myself out there. Well, low & behold I was asked out by a guy I have had a secret crush on.

Here's the dealio. I've been off the market for a decade AND I'm a Recruiter. So, basically, I don't think I know how to talk to a man without making it sound like an interview! :eek::rolleyes:

I'm seriously not sure how to do it.

Help!

Thanks!
Pam
 
This guy is obviously already interested in you or he wouldn't have asked you out! Keep it real and be the fabulous person you've always been! Have a great time!;)
 
Look at it this way: You're going to be nervous, right? ;) You have a skill as a recruiter - asking questions to help you hone in on what a person really likes, etc., etc. What man doesn't like being asked about himself & what he likes???? Use your skills! Your natural ability will take over & you won't be quite so nervous! ;) Good luck, have fun & try to relax & be yourself!
 
Pam,

At least you didn't need to take the first step - imagine how nervous that guy was asking you out! The fear of you saying, "No" would have set me back months.
You're going to do fine and if he isn't a good fit as a date, you can always recruit him! :eek:
 
The best conversationalist....is a good listener...not so much a talker. People really want to be listened to and have someone be interested in them. This is the best one-on-one communication.

It is absolutely miserable to talk with someone who talks over you, won't let you finish a thought, or doesn't truly listen.
 
I LOVE YOU GALS!

Oh my gosh! I had to just absorb & giggle at the responses! You gals ROCK!! Thank you!

Pam
 
tralaiven said:
The best conversationalist....is a good listener...not so much a talker. People really want to be listened to and have someone be interested in them. This is the best one-on-one communication.

It is absolutely miserable to talk with someone who talks over you, won't let you finish a thought, or doesn't truly listen.
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I'm with Tracy on the art of listening. So important and very few people ever develop it. One of my pet peeves!

Ask questions, relax, be natural, be yourself, don't worry about how you might sound to others or that some things might not be appropriate topics of conversation. Any and everything is good.

Remember to have fun!

Clare
 
Listening is def. the best way to go. That way you can feel him out & see how he responds to you. And how interested he is in YOU. I could tell you some stories............my last first date I kept asking this guy Qs about his life, & kept waiting for him to say "what about you?" And kept waiting, and waiting............by the end of the night I knew everything there was to know about him & he knew absolutely nothing about me. There was no second date. ;)

You might want to read the book The Rules. Yeah, there's some really stupid crap in there, but there's some useful stuff as well.

You should just relax & enjoy w/this one thought always in the back of your mind: YOU ARE THE PRIZE. He's lucky to be w/you. And obviously he thinks a lot of you b/c he took a pretty big step there.

And for god's sake, do not listen to Nancy! The first date is way too early to be yourself! LOL! ;)
 
Good luck!

After being married for ten years and getting a divorce in 1998, I tried getting back into the dating scene. I have always been a "one man woman" but I guess that motto doesn't belong in this century. I quit dating five years ago and never regreted it.
 
LauraMax said:
Listening is def. the best way to go. That way you can feel him out & see how he responds to you. And how interested he is in YOU. I could tell you some stories............my last first date I kept asking this guy Qs about his life, & kept waiting for him to say "what about you?" And kept waiting, and waiting............by the end of the night I knew everything there was to know about him & he knew absolutely nothing about me. There was no second date. ;)

You might want to read the book The Rules. Yeah, there's some really stupid crap in there, but there's some useful stuff as well.

You should just relax & enjoy w/this one thought always in the back of your mind: YOU ARE THE PRIZE. He's lucky to be w/you. And obviously he thinks a lot of you b/c he took a pretty big step there.

And for god's sake, do not listen to Nancy! The first date is way too early to be yourself! LOL! ;)
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Love it, Laura! Especially the last comment- you always crack me up! And of course I really adore the Prize comment- makes me want to strut just a little! ;):D:cool:
 
dating

It is like riding a bike, it all comes back to you. I was married for 27 years, I met my current boyfriend on Jdate 4 1/2 years ago, good luck

karen
 
I'd be really careful about "jumping out of the frying pan into the fire!" What I mean by that is that you are probably very vulnerable after your divorce. You may need some time to "lick your wounds" and learn whatever you're supposed to learn from this experience, so you don't just make the same mistakes again and again. It might be good to spend lots of time with your son, get established in your new area, and just have friends for awhile. Just my opinion. . .
 
Nanbo said:
SO, HOW DID IT GO??????;)
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We've both been soo busy still haven't gone out yet. And for you wonderful gals who are concerned about me 'getting out there' too soon, thank you! This process has been going on for quite some time. We haven't officially lived together in the same residence full-time for about six years. Legally separated for about three, this is the final path towards legally ending it.

That is very good advice and appreciate your concern greatly!

Pam
 
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