Need some advice. My in-laws asked my husband if we could come over to their house on Monday for Memorial Day. I REALLY don't want to go. My weekends are spent cleaning the house, doing laundry, and mowing the yard and before I know it Monday is already here. I told him that I don't want to do anything on Monday except loaf around the house in my PJs. He said in a kind of snotty way that I don't have to go if I don't want to. But he doesn't want to go either. I never have got along well with these people.
Background info: Me and his mom got into it a few weeks ago about me not doing my "job" as a wife and taking care of him. He has OCD (diagnosed about 4 years ago) and for years I helped him get dressed, reminded him to take his meds, and made sure he got off to work (yes I know that's an enabler) for fear he'd lose his job and we'd be broke - but it happened anyway. For my sanity and hoping he'd take some responsibility for this I gradually stopped "helping" him and explained why I needed to stop. He wasn't happy but said that I was going to do what I wanted regardless. His mom is basically in denial that he can get rid of the OCD and told me that I need to do my job as a good little wife and make sure he goes to bed at night, gets up in the morning, takes his medicine, eats 3 meals a day, and goes to work (started his own shop). And I told her that it wasn't my job. If I wanted a child I would have had a child. Anyway the whole time she's screaming, yelling, and grabbing me. A few days later they wanted to go out to eat for Mother's Day - both of us. I didn't want to go but did anyway. She acted like nothing happened. I didn't want or even expect an apology. But she was all "happy happy" the whole time. I've been trying to wait until the right time to tell my husband I want a divorce (been thinking about it for 2-3 years now). But I realize there never will be a right time.
Background info: Me and his mom got into it a few weeks ago about me not doing my "job" as a wife and taking care of him. He has OCD (diagnosed about 4 years ago) and for years I helped him get dressed, reminded him to take his meds, and made sure he got off to work (yes I know that's an enabler) for fear he'd lose his job and we'd be broke - but it happened anyway. For my sanity and hoping he'd take some responsibility for this I gradually stopped "helping" him and explained why I needed to stop. He wasn't happy but said that I was going to do what I wanted regardless. His mom is basically in denial that he can get rid of the OCD and told me that I need to do my job as a good little wife and make sure he goes to bed at night, gets up in the morning, takes his medicine, eats 3 meals a day, and goes to work (started his own shop). And I told her that it wasn't my job. If I wanted a child I would have had a child. Anyway the whole time she's screaming, yelling, and grabbing me. A few days later they wanted to go out to eat for Mother's Day - both of us. I didn't want to go but did anyway. She acted like nothing happened. I didn't want or even expect an apology. But she was all "happy happy" the whole time. I've been trying to wait until the right time to tell my husband I want a divorce (been thinking about it for 2-3 years now). But I realize there never will be a right time.
