I am not a good business person

Clarissa

Clarissa

Cathlete
I am so distraught. I have my own personal training business that I run out of my home. I follow everything by the book, so to speak. I advertise, have a large base of clients (that I can handle), and have all adequate forms and insurance, lots of knowledge, and lots of equipment, etc, etc, etc.

However, I am too emotional to handle this. I care very much about my clients and become, in a way, friends w/ them all. This is largely due to the fact that I live in a small community. Clients have come and gone, for various reasons, over the years - I have let some go for lack of working hard while here, some quit b/c of money, problems w/ their spouses and schedules, lack of results b/c they can't change their diets (and not working hard enough on their part) and many more reasons. However, I was badly insulted yesterday and I cannot let it go...

I was on Facebook and went to one of my former client's "page" for the purpose of asking her how she has been doing. I "let her go" this Fall b/c I didn't feel her heart was into it (lots of calling off, no motivation when pushed) and I told her to take some time and come back and I refunded her balance. I told her that if/when she wanted to she could start up again, knowing then how hard the work would be. Well, on her FB page she was chatting back and forth for all to see - including me - with this NON-FIT looking, overweight (just sayin') man who was telling her to take aspirins for her muscle pains, etc. He then proceeded to say and I quote: "I am not that lacksadaisical jackamo loser trainer that you canned".

She then wrote: "LOL! I know, really!"

If you all knew how much I went above and beyond for her, you would just die inside too; I will spare the details on that, but just know I worked so hard for her and did so much for her w/o charging her extra. I thought she was my friend. Also, recall, I let her go and she made me promise I would never tell anyone that I did so, which I wouldn't anyway of course. She didn't let me go - I let HER go. What is she telling people in this small community? I work so hard to obtain clients, I have three small children and I am trying to help people and make a living. Furthermore, I charge 50-70% LESS than everyone else in the area in the same field. I am not doing it for the money - just supplemental income and I want to help people the way Cathe has helped me.

Okay, done venting. So hurt and can't stop crying. I am too emotional for this crap.
Thanks, Clarissa
 
I'm so sorry Clarissa!
If it helps, on the surface, she appears to be one of those people who prefers to blame someone else for her lack of success, rather than admitting that she didn't want to do the work. Clearly, she told people that you weren't helping her and she had to leave you.

Since you are privvy to the comments, I'd leave something out there in your defense! Not necessarily something offensive or mean, but I'd let her know that you saw that and are hurt. It might be enough for her to fear you'd tell poeple the truth, and get her to stop slamming you. :(
 
Hi Clarissa,

Is it possible that he was referring to a different personal trainer that she worked with in addition to you?
 
Honey, it's not you, it's her. Remember, SHE didn't call you that, some dude you never met did. She was probably venting b/c she's frustrated that she couldn't keep up, and he commented. She may have not known what to respond, so she just did the standard LOL.

I can say that in the past whenever I have been mad at myself, it's easier to put the blame on someone else. It's the boss's fault this didn't work, it's Cathe's fault I can't lose weight, it's the jeans fault they don't button. When it is really ME that is causing the issue.

She's venting, although it was mean spirited, I doubt she hates you and thinks you are a sucky trainer. She upset and disappointed in herself.

Keep doing what you're doing, girl!!!!

And if you want to have some fun, reply to the post that the trainer really does suck the big one, and put a big ol' smiley face after it. She'll get the point.

Then toss in some kickbox and work out your frustrations

Nan
 
You are not a bad business person! You are just human and have had your feelings hurt. I would be hurt too. Even though the comments were made by someone else, she's obviously been saying those things. He didn't come up with it himself. I would not be able to keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't come straight out and say I canned her, but I'd post something like "Really? "You" fired your last trainer? What happened?" I wouldn't be able to help myself. ;)
 
morningstar said:
Hi Clarissa,

Is it possible that he was referring to a different personal trainer that she worked with in addition to you?
Click to expand...

Thanks for saying that, but no. I know it is me. In fact, I failed to mention that actually I did say on that thread, "thanks Tammy, I can see this. "

Moments later she deleted the whole thread. Maybe immature of me, but I had to (emotional)

:(
 
It's not you, it's them. Once when I was training someone, as the sessions went on I could tell there was a problem. I directly told this person (who was a VP) that I could tell there was a problem and I wanted to address it (that happened a couple of times). She kept denying there was a problem, but I could see there was. Then on Valentines Day (I am always struck by the irony) she sent me the nastiest hate e-mail I have ever received. It was how I was a horrible trainer and never listened or cared to about her and her progress. She finally told me what she had wanted was essentially for me to stand next to her and count her reps as she used the machines. Whoa! Well, the truth of the matter was that it was her problem and she didn't have the courage to tell me to my face what was wrong when I asked her directly. And she proceeded to trash me to everyone around me. Fortunately, everyone around me respected me and what she said didn't ring true.

The tough part is being a trainer it happens to all of us. That incident happened 6 years ago and it still stings (as you can tell), but with the clarity of time I know I did the right thing. It was about her not wanting to take responsibility for herself and wanting someone to blame...I was easiest.

I know it is hard not to take it personally, but it really is about her not you.

Shayne
 
Thanks, friends. I knew you would make me feel better.

Liann - oh, girl, you have nooooo idea how hard it was for me to not say "I canned YOUR ass by the way". Sigh...


Clarissa
 
Clarissa, I know how much that had to hurt. I'm glad you posted something to her so she knew you seen it and I'm glad she removed it. That doesn't take away the hurt you feel, though.

This is one big reason I can't be a personal trainer. I take everything too personally.
 
Well, Debbie - I think you would be great at it (obviously!)

I wish I could separate it from my emotions but I can't. This is why I wasn't good in HR either... :/
 
Clarissa, you seem to be a very caring person. I'm sorry your former client didn't appreciate your efforts. I think you have to have a thick skin to deal with the public in general, since there will always be those who don't act ethically or are considerate.
 
Clarissa said:
Thanks, friends. I knew you would make me feel better.

Liann - oh, girl, you have nooooo idea how hard it was for me to not say "I canned YOUR ass by the way". Sigh...


Clarissa
Click to expand...


See you are a better business person than I would have been! I'm not sure I could have kept quiet.
 
Fitnessfreakk366 said:
This is one big reason I can't be a personal trainer. I take everything too personally.
Click to expand...

DITTO!!! and i have mouth and half on me when ppl hit those buttons. you think christian bale went off the deep end, nobody has ever seen kassia real mad.

i don't think there is anything wrong with how you handle your business. its the same with dealing with friends/family, they just want a quick fix and if you can't give it to them then they blame you and refuse to take responsibility for the actions. they just deny that there is no quick fix and if you want results you have to listen especially to the advice of certified professionals. she didn't want that obviously, so its absolutely her loss. when she is ready she will be back with somebody and hopefully that time it will stick.

kassia
 
Try to remember that for every single person who blames you for their failure (even though we all know it our own fault for our failures), there are 10 people out there singing your praises! So long as you are putting your full effort into each and every client, you have nothing to fear from the one (and there are going to be some of those) who rips you.

Hold your head high in that knowledge! I know it's painful, but you'll put it behind you. It's just too fresh right now.

I'm so sorry you had to see that, but isn't it better to know than to find out from someone else who heard it from someone else?

I have learned from my reflexology instructor that not every client is a match to every professional. Your methods and personality aren't going to be a perfect fit with everyone. Unfortunately, this one person decided to be immature about it rather than just take it for what it was.

Stay strong!
 
First, you are not a bad business woman. You are a dedicated person that loves what you do and sometimes, that makes you become more personally involved with your clients. Some people say that makes you a better business woman, in fact. I have been trying to take a tiny step back in my own business because I do the very same thing. I find that sometimes my clients (I'm an attorney) listen better when we keeps things more "professional." That's something to consider in the future, but in my opinion, not absolutely necessary.

Second, put yourself in her shoes for a minute (attitude, etc.). Do you really think that she told her friends the REAL STORY! Hello!? She talked about how much you stink and you didn't do this or that because to her friends, that made her look like she didn't fag out and quit. "It wasn't my fault, she stunk." Sorry, but them there are the facts! Put it into that perspective and you may not feel as bad.

If she was such an expert, she wouldn't need you and she'd be in perfect shape. 'Nuff said.

But when it all boils down to it, I would feel just as hurt as you no matter what the facts. Seems we are a lot alike :) Try your best to shrug this one off. She dpoesn't deserve this much attention from you!
 
Yes you are right. I just want to contact her so much and say, what are you telling these people in my small town about me? I did so much to help you, I cared so much about you. You stabbed me in the back...

But I will not. I almost got up in the middle of the night and emailed her....UGH!

So frustrating :(
 
Clarissa, . .hang in there girl. Trust me this horrible person is probably not losing sleep worrying about it. Don't give her the benefit of making you miserable. Everyone here has given you great advice. I go about my everyday doing what I think is right and as long as I'm okay with what I've said and the decisions I've made I could care less about what one rotten apple has to think. By the way we all think you are fabulous! :)
 
Clarissa - I'm glad you didn't give into your urge and e-mail. Don't even give her the time of day. She doesn't deserve it.

Unfortunately it is human nature for some that when they don't succeed at something, they like to blame it on someone else and this person is clearly one of those kind. It is good that you confronted her on it. Maybe she will learn a lesson.

And as for Debbie aka Fitness Freak - I think anyone reading the rotation forum would agree that you are trainer to many thankful people on this site!! I guess a "cyber-trainer?"
 
You know, I would write to her privately. I would tell her that you respect her privacy and her reasons for quitting, etc., and that you are a professional and prefer to keep things on a professional level, but that in a service business your reputation is all you have, and that if she makes another false statement about you, you will be forced to respond by announcing the truth of what happened: that she quit because she just couldn't cut it and now she's lashing out against you. I wouldn't actually make any such announcement, but I would definitely threaten her with it. After all, there is no PT-client privilege. You are not legally bound to keep her secrets. And you have the right to defend yourself and your business.
 
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