How much does weight affect your happiness?

Are you sure you weren't sharing my story? HA! I'm up 10 lbs. right now and I've always been the super fit running cut girl. I've had 3 kids and am approaching 40 and it is NOT coming off so easy! And I am incredibly annoyed. I broke down and bought "fat" jeans - even though I swore I wouldn't - because I figured bumming around in sweats and yoga pants wasn't motivating me! I always had so much self-control and motivation. Actually I just printed a pic of myself two years ago. Hopefully that'll help. And I'm putting a lot of hope on STS!! My girlfriend and I kept joking we give up and we'll just be fat and happy. But now I'm just fat and depressed. Okay - 130 lbs. isn't exactly fat but it is for me. Bring on STS!
 
You know, this is a very good topic! And I also think that it is very normal for women to feel this way.

When I was 10 lbs heavier, I always wanted to be 5 lbs lighter. A year after having DS, I was 15 lbs lighter then prepreg. It wasn't intentional, it was just a crazy life style. Even to the point that my periods weren't normal anymore...but at the time it didn't dawn on me that it was b/c of my weight. I thought I looked fine, but everyone kept telling me how tiny I was....and of course, I loved to hear it:p

Shortly after Christmas last year my weight started to creep back up. I wasn't depressed but it was on my mind ALL the time. My goal was to stay around 120 but it kept going up. It finally slowed down and I never did reach 130...(thank goodness) but Im telling you, when I started regaining the weight...I thought about it constently. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get rid of it!

Now I am content at 122-124. And for some reason, I am magically content with my body. Yes somedays I have belly bloat, but it doesn't bother me anymore. Im not sure if its b/c I don't have the time to stare at myself in the mirror anymore or b/c I have just learned to love me the way I am. My calves are never going to be small and Im never going to have a narrow waistline so why torture myself with something my body type could never acheive?

I can't say that there isn't anything wrong with us:eek: I think we all have a distorted body image. I think we look better then we give ourselves credit for. Last year when I was going through the weight gain I also thought that there was something wrong with me and so did DH! I think its natural for us to become distraut when our pants are to tight and when we don't feel comfortable in our own skin.

Lori:)
 
For me its bodyfat levels. I have to maintain at a certain level or else I am very uncomfortable. I am lucky in that I have stayed the same weight forever...within 3 or 4 pounds depending on that time of the month. I recently stopped smoking after 15 years and was freaking out about weigh gain (fat gain) so I am doubling my cardio now...am still maintaining my "happy" percentage..even though I do notice as I get older the fat when I gain it goes around my waist.:confused:Sick. I am so used to looking a certain way, that I HAVE to maintain that.
 
As much as I hate to admit it, I almost could have written your post. I've tried to change my thinking and failed so often, that I've decided it's just too late for me. But I watch my nieces carefully to make sure they don't show signs of turning out like I did.
 
Laura,

It is obvious you touched a nerve for a lot of women, myself included.

I have to go to a club volleyball trip with my daughter next weekend with people who haven't seen me for about a year. (Translated: I am 12 pounds heavier and have no desire to go ONLY because of my weight)

Isn't it weird that woman deal with this yet none of us could even name one man that would be having this dialogue!!!!
 
LaughingWater said:
I am not the size of my waist. I am not my cup size. I am not the curve of my nose or the length of my hair. I am instead someone's mother, someone's wife, someone's daughter, sister, friend. I have been and may be again someone's good Samaritan. I have been and may be again someone's voice of reason and/or measure of comfort. I just may be the source of a badly needed laugh in someone's otherwise stressful day.

For all that...all we accomplish throughout our days...and for all we need to learn, we need strong arms, steady legs, and a healthy heart. Our bodies are only vehicles ~ we tune 'em up so we can be as powerful, inspiring, and resilient as possible. :)
Click to expand...

LaughingWater, your post made me cry.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Becky
 
*hugs Becky and all the other Catheites in this thread* <3

There's nothing wrong with exercising to feel good and get strong. But please, please try to remember...you guys are not your weight.

Imagine having a friend or a significant other who judges you in this manner. Whatever you say or think to yourself when you look in the mirror or at the scale, imagine this other person saying these things to your face. You've gained 10 pounds, and now this "friend" openly shows disapproval, perhaps ridicules you, maybe even refuses to go out with you in public. You're then told that when you finally lose the weight you've gained, your friend will again be happy to hang out with you. Until that happens, you can just stay home by yourself.

How long would the two of you remain friends? You wouldn't put up with that crap, would you? So why do it to yourself?
 
My mood is very dependant on my weight

I don't weigh myself anymore, but I try on a pair of tight jeans every now & then for a reality check. I know when I'm gaining weight, so I just don't allow it. If I WERE to let it fly & gain weight to the point of having to buy new clothes, I couldn't stand it, and it WOULD throw me into a deep depression. That's just the way I am, so I don't let it happen. I don't deprive myself because I have my beloved junk once a week along with a disaplined (spelling?) workout schedule, and it works. I think I have worked out a nice balance. I don't stress & worry about it at all.
 
Weight totally affects my happiness!!! I have a range that I am comfy in. When I start going beyond that range and it's not just a temporary thing then I feel like complete crap. :(

I actually started gaining some weight at the end of this summer and am currently struggling to get rid of it. I am totally out of my "happy weight" zone and it's killing my self-confidence. I have currently out-grown my 3 favorite pairs of jeans!:eek: Not by much, but enough that wearing them is extremely uncomfortable so instead of wearing them all of the time like I used to, I barely wear them at all now. :confused:

I have a Lucky Jeans gift card that I am dying to use which I got from hubby for Christmas this year but I refuse to go shopping until I lose the weight!
 
I have been happy when I've been heavier, and I've been unhappy when I have been thinner. It all depends on what else is happening in my life because sometimes in my life, horrible things have happened (like the death of people I've loved) that have caused the weight loss. So while I might have been thin, I never celebrated that.

For me, when I feel like losing weight, and I actually am able to do it, I'm happy with my accomplishment of being able to set a goal, make a plan, and stick to it. I'm happier at my ability to be self-disciplined and controlled than I am actually on being thinner (though that doesn't hurt either!!)

That being said, in terms of self-confidence, I definitely have more confidence when I am thinner, but, quite honestly, that doesn't impact my overall happiness as much as I would think it would. For instance, if I were miserable about my marriage (which I'm not, but using this as an example), having more confidence to wear shorter shorts isn't going to change that. But if I'm happy in my marriage (which I am, thankfully), the confidence I get to wear shorter shorts in the summer just adds a little boost to my happiness.

I don't let myself see myself as only my body image. I've had a number of injuries in my life (I'm fighting another one right now) that have had me down for a number of months when it comes to fitness. I pretty much lost the use of my left arm three years ago in a silly accident and have been working ever since then at coming back to some level of fitness. What makes me happy about where I am today isn't my weight, because I'm 20lbs heavier than I was back then. What makes me happy today is knowing that I have worked hard to be where I am right now because I could look/feel a whole lot worse than I do. It would have been so easy to just give up, and I didn't. And that makes me happy.
 
This is my first time posting on the Cathe forums, but I have been a "lurker/reader" for about a year now. This thread really struck a chord with me as I am currently struggling with this exact issue.

Fargomom - thank you for your post - I could have written the EXACT same post. That's just how I feel.

I'm 5'5" and got down to 114 at my very lowest and easily maintained 115-116 for months last spring/early summer. Then I decided I wanted to gain muscle and upped my calories to accomplish that. I was struggling to accept some weight gain for that to happen though. I'm not sure at all that I actually gained more muscle, but I currently weigh 119-121. As the weather got colder and the holidays approached, I really backed off the workouts and couldn't control my healthy eating as well.

I'm trying to get back to my 5-6 days a week workout and stick with the clean eating. I've managed to get to about 4 days and clean eating about 80% of the time. I'm not seeing any weight change though.

I know intellectually that I'm thin, but I want those 5 lbs. OFF! Some of my clothes, mainly my pants cause I'm a pear shape, are somewhat tight. I'm not sure that I will ever be happy with my weight/appearance. Maybe that will insure that I continue to work out and watch my eating. At least I know that I'm not weird or alone in my feelings.

~Rebecca
 
I feel better physically when I'm lighter.

I don't feel badly about myself, but I do feel better with less body fat.
 
I think it's perfectly normal for your weight to affect your happiness, though most of the time it doesn't affect mine. Maybe that's just because I've been yo-yoing up and down for so long (more up than down since having kids :rolleyes:) that I just refuse to let it get me down. I consider myself a pretty darn happy person most of the time even though I could lose at least 30 lbs about now (and usually could lose 15-20 even at my lowest weight).
 
Great topic! Unfortunately, like so may of the other posters my weight is tied to my happiness. I have a lot more weight to lose than most people have talked about on this thread (40-50 pounds). For me it is even so bad as to when I get on the scale and the number is up from the last week, I am upset and my mood is ruined for the day. And according to my DH, everybody suffers:eek:!

There is an article in the Shape magazine I just received about women who are happy with their bodies. They are all different shapes and sizes. Now, I should preface this with the fact that Ashley Tisdale is the "fit role model" on the cover of this issue:rolleyes:.

Carrie
 
Weight & Happiness

I think all of you look great. I read and lurk on these forums daily and I'm inspired by all of you. Most of you are over 40, (most of you) and from what I've seen as far as workouts and your pictures, you are all beautiful women. You should all be proud of yourselves. I myself had gained 83 lbs. during my pregnancy 8 years ago. I was a 00 and went to a 16. I hated the way I felt and looked. So, I did something about it. I'm now 36 and a size 4. If I go to a 6, I'm okay with that. My problem is, I wake up sometimes after eating really bad and feel like crap. But at the end of the day, I'm grateful for me and who I am. I finally, after all these years, realized that there are wonderful things about me I never knew because I was caught up in my weight. You have to be happy with yourselves no matter what. We all wake up on those mornings mad at ourselves for what we ate or drank and regret it. Life is too short to regret anything or wonder why we can't lose those last 10 pounds.

Do workouts you enjoy, eat as you wish (cautiously) and enjoy life. Know that no matter what, you are a great person regardless of 5-10 pounds. Look in the mirrow everyday and tell yourself your wonderful qualities. Always love yourself in the end.
 
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