How do you manage to eat clean with family??

amyg

amyg

Cathlete
My DH is not a very clean eater, and he barely puts up with my attention to my eating... when I did WW, whenever he made dinner he'd toss oil in the pan to cook the veggies, etc. I bought a grapeseed oil thing 2 months ago and it's 80% gone- and I've used 2 Tbsp!!! He DOES NOT understand fat- I remember eating a piece of cheese at a party and telling him I had just eaten 4 points. He doesn't understand, nor take the time to understand that it's important to me. :( He'll always make room for my exercise, but when it comes to food, he doesn't understand or appreciate the difficulties.

I'd love to eat clean, but I'm not sure how to do it when faced with a DH who isn't terribly supportive. He doesn't work out at all, although he is always running around at work- he estimates he walks 4-5 miles every day, and I know it's true- his assistant left 6 months ago and he lost 12 pounds as a result. He's a beanpole- 6'2" and 150-160 pounds.

I'd love to toss my remaining 10 pounds, but I have no idea and I'm not hopefull at all. (I'm 5'2" and 130-135 when stressed, I was 127 when I got married and stayed that way about 2 years, this past 6 months I've gained to be 135 now.) Clean eating is a lofty goal in itself, but when your partner doesn't understand, I don't see how it's possible at all!

Anyone have any suggestions or stories on this topic? TIA
 
Amy,
I truly feel your pain. You have to build up massive willpower because the food will always be there. They will not change their eating habits at all. I do most of the cooking, so I do make things on the healthy side. But the snacks, there's a lot of them here. I know just saying "no" will be harder said then done, but that's the only way to resist.
 
My DH sounds a bit like yours.He eats whatever he wants and he doesn't gain a ounce but he does understand healthy v.s fattening and he tries when cooking.Its never the oil and butter I worry about b/c he doesn't make stuff like that.He is more likely to make eggs,bologna and white bread for breakfast OR have frozen pizzas for supper.But alot of the times he will say " I don't know what to make..you won't eat it anyway".
How often does your DH cook? Do you cook more often then him? When you leave the house in the morning you could take out what should be cooked for dinner.And how about making food and freezing it? All he as to do is take it out of the freezer.
If you cook more then he does, I wouldn't worry about it.I cook different things for myself all the time.He gets fries while I get salad.Or he gets potatoe while I get rice OR a sweet potatoe.As long as the meat is cooker when I get home...I would just get my own side dish together when dinner is ready.Eventually he will get it..I think:)
Lori:)
 
Good advice from Lori. Do you work outside the home, too? If that's the case, it's only dinner you have to be concerned about. I make a healthy dinner and if the rest of my family wants junk, they can have it "on their own time" :)
Also, since you've realized that there is not much interest on his part to understand the WW thing, don't talk to him about it, it will just frustrate you. That's part of the WW thing, isn't it, i.e. to go to meetings withe others who DO understand and can be supportive. Just my .02.
 
I can understand this thread, that's for sure! My DH doesn't understand my WW and points, either. He doesn't give me a hard time about it, but he'll give me answers like, "Oh, is this WW??" and not eat very much OR eat something else later. Now, that's all fine and dandy, but kind of defeats the purpose if he doesn't eat much of what I make. I have been trying to experiment with different recipes and once in a while I'll find one that works.

I'm not sure what to give you for any help, but you can rest assured you are not alone on this one.

I'm going to keep track of this thread in case somebody has any other ideas for you.

Take care, Marcia.;-)
 
It is very manageable, but I can relate to your problem. My dh is a fast food junkie. The saving grace for me is that i do all the grocery shopping. I only buy healthy stuff. Dh will eat most of what i cook and on weekends i'll cook something semi-dirty(things i used to make before i was "born again" with cathe.com;-) Do you do most of the cooking? Dh and i do eat seperate food alot, b/c he doesn't like what i fix. I make sure there is always something he will eat though. The key is to do whatever it takes for you to reach your goals. Don't feel guilty about it either. ;-)


jes
 
DH cooks dinners for me maybe now 2-4 times a week since I'm at class until 9. I have told him I don't want him to do that, but it's one of his only ways to show me he cares, so he doesn't understand. I have tons of food in the freezer, which is usually lunches and pre-class snacks. I cook from recipes, he cooks from what is in the fridge and it always turns into a massive feast.

He's supportive of whatever I do, until the point he thinks I'm not having any fun. I guess I shouldn't tell him how much I appreciate his food- it was supposed to be "thank you for doing what you can to support me" but it's turned into something that he's interpreting as "I will only love you if you cook huge fanciful feasts". :(

Maybe I'll try again today and explain to him how sick I feel after eating for 2 days like he does. Not to mention the 8 pounds I've packed on in the past 3 months that isn't going away. x(
 
First, don't let DH do the cooking or the grocery shopping. I simply do both myself because I am a super control freak! When faced with Thanksgiving and people bringing over some crap...they got to take it all back home with them or I trashed it. As for you eating clean, you just have to do it! Find creative ways to get by when starting out and then you will soon adjust. I never knew I could love oatmeal so much...I could actually just live off plain boring oatmeal. Protein bars tasted like leather to me for several months, but now I heart them, etc. You also have to mentally picture in your mind that every time you put the wrong thing in your mouth, you go backwards, not forwards. Allow yourself a treat once a week, but don't get greedy...STAY FOCUSED! After awhile, you might not even need a treat once a week...your body will not want it and you might find yourself getting sick off stuff you use to like. Just my advice.

Charlotte~~
 
I feel like I'm 1/2 way there... I ate like I did 4 yrs ago the past 2 days and I feel positively GREEN today. I'll try and keep that in mind I guess. ;)

I've had so much going on this past term I couldn't control all of what I was eating- I couldn't shop or cook every week. Jan starts a new term with 2 nights instead of 4 at school 25 miles away, after a full day of work. I've got high hopes of getting back in line- I'll feel so much better!

Thanks all for the good advice and support- as always!! :)
 
I've been struggling with the same problem for years, Amy. Over time, however, I've actually influenced my DH just a bit each year.

I tend to be pretty strict about my eating, and I always just ignored what he was doing. For example, he eats beef, and I won't touch the stuff. He understands that I'm a bit OCD when it comes to eating and he gives me my space. For years we just prepared our own separate dinners, but, low and behold, he slowly but surely started to come over to the dark side. We now eat salads together about 4 nights per week for dinner! True, we use very different salad dressings, but at least we're eating the same thing together. :D

I say, don't compromise. Just do your own thing and ignore him if necessary. Use the same veggies, but get out your own pan and put your own oil in it. Do what you need to do for yourself. It's just that simple.

HTH,
Nancy
 
I had the same problem and still have it to some degree. What I did was...
1. I changed my mentallity: I used to believe that it was impossible or almost impossible to do it without his support. Well, I changed that mindset. I started to believe that it is my right, as his wife and woman of the house, to actively participate and take decisions on the foods that we buy.
2. I made him aware that I have the right to decide what I eat. If he doesn't want to eat healthy, he at least must respect my desire to do it.
3. I showed him that I was absolutely serious about my diet and I was absolutely firm. He gradually got the message and now he supports me.:)

I realize your case may be different than mine. If your husband doesn't have knowledge or understanding of good nutrition you can start by explaining it to him, or ar least letting him know that there are "rules" in nutrition and they are important. Have an open talk with him about it, let him know this is SERIOUS and important for you, be assertive. You have the power!!!!:D
 
Double/Triple/Quadruple the suggestions NOT to let him do the grocery shopping.

Stock up on the things that will help you stay strong....I don't normally see sugarfree/fatfree chocolate pudding as "clean" but it will give you something to nosh on while he is having his bowl of ice cream, or whatever....and it (the pudding) is very low in WW points.

Jen
 
My DH is pretty good about it...he'll put up with my healthy eating to an extent. I can cook him a meal that I have "cleaned up" to a certain extent and he'll be fine with it. There IS a limit though so if I want to eat CLEANER I will cook separate for him and myself. Same food just prepared differently... :)
 
I just looked over at my DH and he was settling in to eat a big salami sandwich on a Pepperidge Farm sandwich roll with a giant dill pickle and a glass of diet Pepsi. I don't think he saw me roll my eyes. <sigh>.

-Nancy
 
My DH doesn't eat clean either and to add to it I have two little boys. They love Mac and Cheese and PBJ etc. My DH always cooks because he loves it and is home an hour before me. I used to do Low Carb and he was wonderful about making chicken and veggies for me but that has changed. I couldn't stand Low Carb any longer and I found BFFM and it works great but I find myself struggling not to devour DH "bad" dinners. The only cure for me is to prepare ahead of time for the evening meal. I work full time so my other meals are set and easy to keep clean but dinner can be a killer. I do the shopping so that is a saving grace and I have learned to have quick and easy things ready to grab. Examples, bagged salad, 3-4 cooked sweet potatoes (eat one serving at a time), 3-4 servings of brown rice (eat one serving at a time), frozen chicken breast (micro in 5 min.) etc. I still have to have the will power to make it by his supper but I am able to make a clean meal within 10 min. I have never had a problem with him picking on me for eating clean. He is very supportive just not in the cooking dept. Hope that helps! Vicky
 
Amy, My suggestion is a compromise. Because you are so busy with school right now, it may be unrealistic for you to try to eat completely clean. Maybe it won't hurt to eat those 2 or 3 meals a week your DH prepares, but cutting down the portion size. On the days he doesn't cook, eat squeeky clean. Also, days he is cooking, try to eat less, or at least very clean for lunch and snacks. I never manage to eat completely clean. Sometimes I just crave Long John Silvers or a pizza. All things in moderation is a good motto (except chocolate).
 
I can't believe I missed this thread!

True story...I brought home a package of boneless, skinless, chicken breast cutlets one day for chicken recipe # 5,983,249,475. As I was pulling things out of the fridge to start preparations, I realized I was missing something so I went back to the store. When I returned home I found my darlin' DH cooking away. He took my chicken, dredged it in flour, then sauteed it in a pool of EVOO with a LARGE dollop of butter perched majestically in the middle, melting into the EVOO like an oil slick on the ocean. He was very proud of it. He then finished it off with a lovely PAN SAUCE using what else...butter!

He told me that he saw I was busy and he just wanted to help. Well, it was delicious, but the, butter makes everything taste better--LOL!:D }( :9 :p ;(

ETA no advice here. It looks like you've been given plenty of wonderful tips.

Michele
 
I think you're making this too hard for yourself. My Dh could care less what he is eating. He is not overweight but his cholesterol panel is in the dangerous range yet he doesn't care or do anything about it. He is not on medication for his cholesterol nor will I let him go on it when simply changing his eating would probably 'fix' the problem. He doesn't want to stop eating steak and fried potatoes. My H is definitely a meat and potatoes man.

So, the compromise is I still cook meat/poultry but I always prepare at least two dishes of vegetables, never in cream sauces, so that I can have a small portion of the meat and then I just mainly eat vegetables. Our children eat the same meal we do and I serve them as I eat myself...the vegetable are the 'main portion' and the meat is a small serving on the side. I am trying to get H to eat more fish, we'll see how that goes but he gets very cranky if he hasn't had beef for two days in a row. It's like living with a dinosaur.

You can still cook/eat meals together just make sure there are healthier choices for you. You can also take the meat out of many recipes and substitute beans. I do this often in soups and casseroles and DH hasn't figured it out yet so...they can be fooled if they are unsuspecting! Another tip that works is for say a chili...use a half pound of beefburger and then use ground turkey breast to make up the rest of the meat portion. Just that bit of beef will flavor the whole pot.

I will also mention that when we got married my H ate two vegetables, corn and potatoes. And he also considered chips & dip to be a food group. So, over the years I have had a good influence on him but we still have a long way to go. I did get him to start eating roasted vegetables last year. That is a major step for him. Before he would turn up his nose and take a third helping of mashed potatoes instead. And, our kids see the difference in how their father eats and how we eat and what is taught to them in school about eating more fruits and vegetables and less junk foods so they even preach to him now too. So I have hopes that at least our kids won't pick up his bad eating habits for life as heart disease does run in DH's family.
 
That's a funny story Michele. Butter is my biggest downfall. That's the one thing I CAN NOT have in the house.

I'm very fortuate to have a DH who eats cleaner than I do. I steam practically everything too. However, he does eat meat and I rarely do, so a lot of times I prepare different proteins for us.
 
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