How are you?
- Thread starter dmd
- Start date
dmd
Cathlete
Hi Trish~
This post is brilliant! I could not have said it better. I would never have thought that I would post something so personal here...but, I had a need. I needed to reach out and be vulnerable. For those that know me, this is not me. I can be so stoic and full of sunshine. I think it would shock some of my friends to know that I felt all this stuff....and struggle so. I never want to bring people down. At the risk of posting something inappropriate, I took the risk.
Your post reminds me why I continue to frerquent this board. You are all so kind. I am so grateful for you.
dmd
This post is brilliant! I could not have said it better. I would never have thought that I would post something so personal here...but, I had a need. I needed to reach out and be vulnerable. For those that know me, this is not me. I can be so stoic and full of sunshine. I think it would shock some of my friends to know that I felt all this stuff....and struggle so. I never want to bring people down. At the risk of posting something inappropriate, I took the risk.
Your post reminds me why I continue to frerquent this board. You are all so kind. I am so grateful for you.
dmdDeb,
Would it help to know that your post really helped someone in need...ME! I haven't been on the board much lately and I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I lost my father on March 12th and am going through the very things you described. I guess for me it just helped knowing I wasn't alone or crazy in going through all this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions during this difficult time. The timing couldn't be better for me to catch this post. Tomorrow the VA hospital where he was housed the last months of his life is having a memorial service for him tomorrow. I'm trying to gather the courage and strength to get myself through it.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Colleen
Would it help to know that your post really helped someone in need...ME! I haven't been on the board much lately and I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I lost my father on March 12th and am going through the very things you described. I guess for me it just helped knowing I wasn't alone or crazy in going through all this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions during this difficult time. The timing couldn't be better for me to catch this post. Tomorrow the VA hospital where he was housed the last months of his life is having a memorial service for him tomorrow. I'm trying to gather the courage and strength to get myself through it.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Colleen
DebbieH
Cathlete
Hey Deb!
I don't have time to post right now (even though I AM posting!Ha!) but wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers bigtime right now. I have some things I have to do here now but I will be in touch. Just wanted you to know I have been thinking of you. HUGS GF!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie")http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
I don't have time to post right now (even though I AM posting!Ha!) but wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers bigtime right now. I have some things I have to do here now but I will be in touch. Just wanted you to know I have been thinking of you. HUGS GF!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie")http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
dmd
Cathlete
Colleen,
Thank your for letting me know that it helped you. I do understand what you are going through...I am sorry for your loss. I did not expect to be going through this more than a year later. It kind of creeps up on me when I least expect it, especially in my dreams.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. May your father rest in peace. deb;(
Thank your for letting me know that it helped you. I do understand what you are going through...I am sorry for your loss. I did not expect to be going through this more than a year later. It kind of creeps up on me when I least expect it, especially in my dreams.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. May your father rest in peace. deb;(
Bobbi
Cathlete
Oh, Debbie, don't wait another moment to see someone. Letting go of the past, the painful parts, is the only way you can find joy NOW. NOW is when we need. If we wait too long, there may come a day when we look back with regret and say it's too late. There's not a thing you can change. You can only find a way to come to terms with pain, guilt and sorrow and, although they have molded aspects of your character, you have nothing of which to be ashamed. Don't carry this with you into too many more tomorrows. Those were his mistakes.
My dad was an alcoholic too and he did not get sober until late in the game but he was a good man with a terrible affliction and somehow he managed to make us love him more than we could ever hate him. I don't remember hating him but I can tell you stories that would turn your blood cold. I would tell them with little emotion and I do not sit here devsatated because it was so long ago and somewhere, somehow, I learned forgiving him would free me and let me look to the future always fighting to grab the joy out of it. I don't remember a moment or even an effort to come to terms but you may need that. Please find a way.
Is it possible you don't feel shame as much as sorrow for what is now forever lost? Debbie, time is the great healer and in time, this will fade but your negative feelings may not. Don't take the chance. Counselling, anti-depressants, good friends,wonderful husbands, sleep aids, exercise and self-care, one or all or some, can help you get perspective and let go. Make that concrete in your head and FIGHT!
You can't change your past. But you can begin to change your present and your future can be the brightest one imaginable!
I believe in you and you are in my heart, my thoughts and prayers. The rest is up to you!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move.
-Paulo Coelho
My dad was an alcoholic too and he did not get sober until late in the game but he was a good man with a terrible affliction and somehow he managed to make us love him more than we could ever hate him. I don't remember hating him but I can tell you stories that would turn your blood cold. I would tell them with little emotion and I do not sit here devsatated because it was so long ago and somewhere, somehow, I learned forgiving him would free me and let me look to the future always fighting to grab the joy out of it. I don't remember a moment or even an effort to come to terms but you may need that. Please find a way.
Is it possible you don't feel shame as much as sorrow for what is now forever lost? Debbie, time is the great healer and in time, this will fade but your negative feelings may not. Don't take the chance. Counselling, anti-depressants, good friends,wonderful husbands, sleep aids, exercise and self-care, one or all or some, can help you get perspective and let go. Make that concrete in your head and FIGHT!
You can't change your past. But you can begin to change your present and your future can be the brightest one imaginable!
I believe in you and you are in my heart, my thoughts and prayers. The rest is up to you!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move.
-Paulo Coelho
DebbieH
Cathlete
Colleen!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family too. I hope the memorial service went well. As someone who has lost my Mom, Dad & brother all at "young" ages, I KNOW the heartache and hole in your heart. Big hugs to you!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie")http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family too. I hope the memorial service went well. As someone who has lost my Mom, Dad & brother all at "young" ages, I KNOW the heartache and hole in your heart. Big hugs to you!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie")http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
DebbieH
Cathlete
You have gotten great advice thru the others that have been thru what you are going thru. I am so sorry and can't imagine your heartache. You are such a strong and YES, a very sunshiney person and you will come thru this just fine. It may take awhile but know we are here for you when you are having a rough day. This place is the best place to offer a shoulder whenever you need. (I know you know that already!) I CAN relate with your body image right now. It is hard when we work so hard to keep ourselves in good shape and healthy to see a setback. You've been thru a lot and I know BOTH of us will look back someday and say, we are baaack! Hang in there GF. LOVE & HUGS 2 U!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie")http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie")http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!