I was helping my dh go through his expense reports and noticed that he frequents Hooters quite often, since he travels with his job. I've never been there, so I really dont know what the place is really like, but he has lied to me about going. He calls home and would say I'm going to "such and such" restaurant and not say Hooters. Why would he lie about it, especially when it shows up on the credit card bill? What bothers me is the lie. What do you think about this?
Hooters Restaurant
- Thread starter luvstep
- Start date
Hooters is known for it's very sexy waitresses. Not saying that your husband is up to no good, but he knows you might not be to comfortable with the idea of him going there. But, he should not lie to you about it...that only makes matters worse.
On the other hand, my sister loves it and I know a lot of people that go there with their families. I think it's just a matter of what is and is not acceptable to you.
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(fitxme)
http://www.picturetrail.com/fitxme
On the other hand, my sister loves it and I know a lot of people that go there with their families. I think it's just a matter of what is and is not acceptable to you.
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(fitxme)
http://www.picturetrail.com/fitxme
Alot of men lie even when they aren't up to no good, simply because they don't want to deal with the female opinion on the matter. My friend's DH went to The Gold Club with some business associates while in Atlanta, which is some swanky strip club apparently, but lied to her about it because he knew she would be upset, and he just didn't want to deal with it. so it might just be that, though I'd still be bothered by the lie.
Sparrow
ETA: I'm surprised families go there. No judgement intended, I was just always under the impression that it was a sexy kind of atmosphere. Never been myself.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
Sparrow
ETA: I'm surprised families go there. No judgement intended, I was just always under the impression that it was a sexy kind of atmosphere. Never been myself.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
Imafitnessfreak
Cathlete
I am one known for getting extremely upset about the actual lie. It's my thinking that if everything is on the "up and up" then there is no need to lie. I'd ask the same question...why lie about where you are going to dinner unless you are not going there for their wings (which I hear are amazing)...
If he says that he just didn't want you to get upset because he was being served by women that are wearing short shorts and tank tops then I'd ask "Why go there to eat if you know the wife will be upset about it...just go to Applebee's".
I have never been there so I don't have an opinion of the place and since I don't like chicken wings, I've never had the craving to try it. I know the uniform, and quite honestly, the thought of someone serving me food while sporting butt cheek (male or female) kinda grosses me out!
If he says that he just didn't want you to get upset because he was being served by women that are wearing short shorts and tank tops then I'd ask "Why go there to eat if you know the wife will be upset about it...just go to Applebee's".
I have never been there so I don't have an opinion of the place and since I don't like chicken wings, I've never had the craving to try it. I know the uniform, and quite honestly, the thought of someone serving me food while sporting butt cheek (male or female) kinda grosses me out!
dianet
Cathlete
Hooters is a interesting place. The are several different types of customers that go there. Type 1: Families that go there with their kids because the food is okay. Type 2: Men that go there by themselves or with a group of other men to feel "manly" and just watch sports. Type 3 (the bad type): Men that go there by themselves or with a group of men to stare at or hit on the waitresses and act sleazy. I would say that the majority of people that go there do NOT flirt with the waitresses and just go there because it makes them feel manly or cool.
What concerns me is that he lied about it. He is in all likelihood only a "Type 2" person, but knows that if he brings it up, you would be mad and think the worst. But a white lie is still a lie. I would talk to him about it.
What concerns me is that he lied about it. He is in all likelihood only a "Type 2" person, but knows that if he brings it up, you would be mad and think the worst. But a white lie is still a lie. I would talk to him about it.
Imafitnessfreak
Cathlete
I know an much older guy who use to go in there with a video camera! YUCK!!! YUCK!!! That is one day I'd quit if I were a Hooter's Girl!!!
4
40something
Guest
That is disgusting! Yuck!
I've only been in one Hooter's and mho would be to describe them as a sports bar with waitresses barely wearing a uniform. There is plenty of cleavage and butt cheek hanging out anywhere you look...hence the reason men like to go there.
Lying about it would upset me too...especially if it was more than just one time, but in reality he's frequenting these restaurants/bars when he's away from home.
I've only been in one Hooter's and mho would be to describe them as a sports bar with waitresses barely wearing a uniform. There is plenty of cleavage and butt cheek hanging out anywhere you look...hence the reason men like to go there.
Lying about it would upset me too...especially if it was more than just one time, but in reality he's frequenting these restaurants/bars when he's away from home.
I personally wouldn't have a problem with my husband going there from time to time but I would have a problem with him lying about it. It's just a sports bar with skantily clad waitresses. It's not like it's a strip club or anything.
Kristy
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good
Kristy
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good
rjroubi
Cathlete
I think your DH probably likes the wings and is probably not sure you would approve hence the little white lie. Unfortunately, it is backfiring on him.
DH and I go ocassionally so he can get his fix of wings and watch the game. (Some of his friend's wives don't allow their husbands to go at all.)
I would be just a little concerned about the lie....but like I said, he is probably just unsure of how you would feel about it and like many men he probably thought it best not to rock the boat if he doesn't have to. I would talk to him about it "matter of factly" and not be confrontational. My bet is he will be very open with you.
Robin
ETA: And my DH does enjoy the view...although he will never say it
Don't let me scare you..the place is really harmless.
DH and I go ocassionally so he can get his fix of wings and watch the game. (Some of his friend's wives don't allow their husbands to go at all.)
I would be just a little concerned about the lie....but like I said, he is probably just unsure of how you would feel about it and like many men he probably thought it best not to rock the boat if he doesn't have to. I would talk to him about it "matter of factly" and not be confrontational. My bet is he will be very open with you.
Robin
ETA: And my DH does enjoy the view...although he will never say it
Don't let me scare you..the place is really harmless.
andtckrtoo
Cathlete
I simply ask him, calmly.
toughYrun
Cathlete
If my husband felt like he had to lie to me about where he spends any of his time then that means that he thinks he's doing something wrong or something that might not be considered wrong by society's standards but something that he knows does not sit well with me.
Does he have a reason to think that you have a problem with him frequenting restaraunts known for their scantily clad waitresses?
Personally, if that is how I felt about it and my husband disregarded my feelings I would consider that mighty disrespectful.
Does he have a reason to think that you have a problem with him frequenting restaraunts known for their scantily clad waitresses?
Personally, if that is how I felt about it and my husband disregarded my feelings I would consider that mighty disrespectful.
We go to Hooters every year when we go to the beach. It is me, my hubby and my son who is six. My son loves going we started taking him when he was two. He likes to see the pretty girls and he always wears his hoo hoo shirt and gets his picture taken with our waitress. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. He see me in less in my bathing suit. The lying part is wrong.
Steph
Steph
As far as going to Hooters, I would not be mad at my dh. Actually, he goes there at times after work or we go there every once in awhile. We are big hot wings fans.
Honestly, many of the hooters girls are not very pretty. Plus, they wear tights under the shorts so their butts are not hanging out. The outfits are ugly. Who wants to wear neon orange spandex shorts??? They need to wear cute denim cutoffs with those tank tops and no slouch socks.
So, I would not worry about your husband going to hooters to eat. I would be upset about the lie. However, I truly believe our men lie to us about innocent things because they don't want to hear us complain about it or they don't want to hurt our feelings. My dh lied to me a few years ago about smoking. He told me he quit smoking because I was pregnant. Well, I found a pack of cigarettes in his gym bag. He smoked when he was not around me. I was soooo mad.....so I know how you feel.
I hope this helps a bit...don't feel down. I am almost positive your dh was just afraid you would be mad at him. Hooters is just a a place to get good hot wings. I promise...I would not go or allow my dh to go without me if the place was bad.
Sara
http://www.picturetrail.com/saraburnham1
Honestly, many of the hooters girls are not very pretty. Plus, they wear tights under the shorts so their butts are not hanging out. The outfits are ugly. Who wants to wear neon orange spandex shorts??? They need to wear cute denim cutoffs with those tank tops and no slouch socks.
So, I would not worry about your husband going to hooters to eat. I would be upset about the lie. However, I truly believe our men lie to us about innocent things because they don't want to hear us complain about it or they don't want to hurt our feelings. My dh lied to me a few years ago about smoking. He told me he quit smoking because I was pregnant. Well, I found a pack of cigarettes in his gym bag. He smoked when he was not around me. I was soooo mad.....so I know how you feel.
I hope this helps a bit...don't feel down. I am almost positive your dh was just afraid you would be mad at him. Hooters is just a a place to get good hot wings. I promise...I would not go or allow my dh to go without me if the place was bad.
Sara
http://www.picturetrail.com/saraburnham1
rjroubi
Cathlete
Luvstep,
Quite, honestly, I just wouldn't be terribly upset because in the grand sceme of marriage this one is really just a minor one. I know other woman disagree, but I really believe his motives are sincere and that really should count toward knocking some points off your hurt and anger. I also asked my DH what he thought and he agreed with me as to why your husband lied to you (I did not tell him what I thought first). As I mentioned before, it was probably a lot simpler just to say he was eating at another place (not being quite sure how you would react). As I also stated, many of my DH's friend's wives don't "allow" them to go there and probably some of your husband's friends are not allowed to go there either. By not mentioning it to you outright, he is not directly disobeying whatever your wishes might be. It's the easy way out (my DH actually admits that men prefer that) I know it sounds very simplistic. I laugh because men laugh at women's reasoning in certain situations and sometimes they are just as goofy as we are You got to love them It's a small white lie....nothing more and nothing less. Now, if the bill was for 2 people I would be ripping mad
Why don't you go out for wings this weekend with your DH? I'm sure that will help relieve both of your fears....um, if you are on a strict diet they do have salads where you can get the dressing on the side.
Please let us know how it goes. Best of luck to you!!
Robin
ETA: As for the attractiveness of the women, it really depends on where you go.....and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In the two we have by us, the women are in incredible shape and most are very attractive.
Quite, honestly, I just wouldn't be terribly upset because in the grand sceme of marriage this one is really just a minor one. I know other woman disagree, but I really believe his motives are sincere and that really should count toward knocking some points off your hurt and anger. I also asked my DH what he thought and he agreed with me as to why your husband lied to you (I did not tell him what I thought first). As I mentioned before, it was probably a lot simpler just to say he was eating at another place (not being quite sure how you would react). As I also stated, many of my DH's friend's wives don't "allow" them to go there and probably some of your husband's friends are not allowed to go there either. By not mentioning it to you outright, he is not directly disobeying whatever your wishes might be. It's the easy way out (my DH actually admits that men prefer that) I know it sounds very simplistic. I laugh because men laugh at women's reasoning in certain situations and sometimes they are just as goofy as we are
You got to love them It's a small white lie....nothing more and nothing less. Now, if the bill was for 2 people I would be ripping madWhy don't you go out for wings this weekend with your DH?
I'm sure that will help relieve both of your fears....um, if you are on a strict diet they do have salads where you can get the dressing on the side.Please let us know how it goes. Best of luck to you!!
Robin
ETA: As for the attractiveness of the women, it really depends on where you go.....and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In the two we have by us, the women are in incredible shape and most are very attractive.
Imafitnessfreak
Cathlete
This thread has me thinking about going this weekend. We have one super close by and I have never been to one! There will be tons of sports on all weekend, too! Don't want wings but a salad. I am sure the kids can enjoy some fries.
I personally, would not care one bit if my DH went there with or without me. They serve wings, not lap dances. I think is is super silly for Robins DH's friends wives (follow that?? ) to "not allow" their husbands to go there! That's nuts! Let's assume these women are hot (I hear they really are not)...you cannot say your DH cannot go somewhere to keep him from seeing a hot woman! They are everywhere! Magazines, t.v., out and about! They don't all work at Hooters...and remain caged up there. Besides..what is wrong with a husband finding another woman attractive! There is a huge difference between "Oh, she is really good looking" and "Oh, she is so good looking I am going to sleep with her" and then the "She is so good looking, I am going to leave my wife and kids to sleep with her". We find men attractive all the time!
If you do go to Hooters and the waitress seems super friendly or you "hear" they are super friendly to the guys, remember...they are working for tips!!
I personally, would not care one bit if my DH went there with or without me. They serve wings, not lap dances. I think is is super silly for Robins DH's friends wives (follow that??
) to "not allow" their husbands to go there! That's nuts! Let's assume these women are hot (I hear they really are not)...you cannot say your DH cannot go somewhere to keep him from seeing a hot woman! They are everywhere! Magazines, t.v., out and about! They don't all work at Hooters...and remain caged up there. Besides..what is wrong with a husband finding another woman attractive! There is a huge difference between "Oh, she is really good looking" and "Oh, she is so good looking I am going to sleep with her" and then the "She is so good looking, I am going to leave my wife and kids to sleep with her". We find men attractive all the time!If you do go to Hooters and the waitress seems super friendly or you "hear" they are super friendly to the guys, remember...they are working for tips!!
Sarah, ITA about the "allowing" one's DH to do things. I get this often because DH smokes a cigar every now and then. My friends/family say, "how can you allow it?" He's a grown man, he knows how I feel about it but then it's his choice, IMO. I'm not his mommy.
That said, Hooters bugs me. I mean, just look at the NAME of the place. They didn't become famous for their hot wings, LOL. If we go out and our waitress happens to be attractive, I will tease DH about her just to make him squirm, for fun. To me that's different from going to a place that is famous for women's bulging, popping breasts. Again, no scolding intended to anyone who enjoys going. Just giving my honest thoughts here. Who know, we may go one day. Also, I come from a long line of jealous women...
ETA: wanted to add that I still don't think finding out DH goes there would be the end of the world. As has been said, men don't want to deal with explaining things to women sometimes, that's probably what happened here.
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
That said, Hooters bugs me. I mean, just look at the NAME of the place.
They didn't become famous for their hot wings, LOL. If we go out and our waitress happens to be attractive, I will tease DH about her just to make him squirm, for fun. To me that's different from going to a place that is famous for women's bulging, popping breasts. Again, no scolding intended to anyone who enjoys going. Just giving my honest thoughts here. Who know, we may go one day. Also, I come from a long line of jealous women...ETA: wanted to add that I still don't think finding out DH goes there would be the end of the world. As has been said, men don't want to deal with explaining things to women sometimes, that's probably what happened here.
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
Sparrow, I lean toward agreement with you. Probably there's nothing really wrong with the place in the grand scheme of things, but the mere fact that it's named for boobs doesn't really sit well with me. Maybe when there's a place named "Kong" for guys with popping... then it would seem more fair! }( }( }( }( }(
Marie
PS: Frankly, I'd be concerned about why the DH felt he had to lie about this. It might be a minor white lie, but still.
Marie
PS: Frankly, I'd be concerned about why the DH felt he had to lie about this. It might be a minor white lie, but still.
acatalina
Cathlete
Do you trust him?
Don't worry.
My DH works out of town all the time.
I don't worry about where he goes.
He knows better.
Divorce = most of everything.
And he is too chicken sh*t.
I know too many people.
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
Don't worry.
My DH works out of town all the time.
I don't worry about where he goes.
He knows better.
Divorce = most of everything.
And he is too chicken sh*t.
I know too many people.
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina