Frustrated with chilcare issues

fitnessluvr

fitnessluvr

Cathlete
I am working nights part-time as a personal trainer and it is sooooooooo frustrating to deal with childcare. I either drop my kids off at my husbands work (two boys, 2 and 5) for a couple of hours, drop them off at my friends house or take them to a daycare. So in the end my husband has to try and herd cats (or two boys) in a store full of nuts, bolts and power tools, or I feel like I am always in debt to my friend who keeps my kids, or I pay too much for childcare - it almost seems pointless to work.

Some days I just want to quit and go back to being a stay at home mom. But we need the money. I am grateful to have a job, but some days it feels overwhelming to try and deal with it all...

Ok all done venting.....
 
I haven't even officially started working yet but I feel your pain already. (((HUGS))) I am a SAHM. I was just offered a position that will require my son to be cared for in the afternoons after school until my husband or myself can pick him up. I am fortunate in that his school offers a very affordable program but the hours they are open may pose a problem some times as well as some of the days that they are closed. I don't have any friends or family close by whom would be available for my son at the time we would need them. I am thinking about talking to a couple of his classmates' moms to see if they would be able/willing to care for my son once in a while if need be. It's a real PIA, isn't it!?! :eek::rolleyes:
 
When I did the math it just made no sense to work. Full time day care would have cost me $1800 for both my kids. With the additional cost of gas, work clothes, my time it made no sense for me to work. The profit I would have made from work and the time away from my kids was not worth the money. Can you look for a job with a gym that has a day care? Otherwise I would actually sit with your husband and do the math and see if it is even worth it. At least when your 5 year old is able to go to elementary school that will considerable cut down on day care costs. I feel your frustration I went through the same thing.
 
janie1234 said:
When I did the math it just made no sense to work. Full time day care would have cost me $1800 for both my kids. With the additional cost of gas, work clothes, my time it made no sense for me to work. The profit I would have made from work and the time away from my kids was not worth the money. Can you look for a job with a gym that has a day care? Otherwise I would actually sit with your husband and do the math and see if it is even worth it. At least when your 5 year old is able to go to elementary school that will considerable cut down on day care costs. I feel your frustration I went through the same thing.
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I live in a small town in Alabama, there aren't many options for gyms here. I think I am going to pursue in home training more. I have several in home clients but most are military and will be leaving.....I can make twice the money in half the time, but what scares me is getting more clients. At least when you work at a gym people come looking for you, it is going to be hard, especially in this small town, to look for new clients.....
 
fitnessluvr said:
I live in a small town in Alabama, there aren't many options for gyms here. I think I am going to pursue in home training more. I have several in home clients but most are military and will be leaving.....I can make twice the money in half the time, but what scares me is getting more clients. At least when you work at a gym people come looking for you, it is going to be hard, especially in this small town, to look for new clients.....
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How about only training on the 2 days that your husband if off? I know if cuts down on family time but that was another option I considered. Hang in there before you know it both kids will be in elementary school and then you'll really be able to make time for yourself. For now sacrafices need to be made so you need to decide what kind. If it is time with the family, giving up your job that you seem to like, money???? Trust me with the kids, . . . time goes by really super duper fast and before you know it they are doing so much more on their own.
 
Curious janie123 when you say it cost you $1800 for both kids - is that for a month?
I am a family daycare provider & I even sometimes wonder how families can afford to pay daycare. Especially those with more than one child.

I hope you can find something that will work for your situation. Maybe your idea of a friend who would be willing to watch them will work out for you. Good luck
 
I'm sure your friend doesn't feel the same way as me, but I became resentful last week when my neighbor asked me to watch her kids so she could teach her spinning class. It was last-minute (but it didn't have to be because she had advance notice), and I had to cut my workout short to accommodate her. It bothered me that she was making money and getting her workout in, while I was stuck with a screaming baby and a toddler that was ripping my house apart--and I couldn't even have a shower! It would be different if there was some sort of reciprocation, but she didn't offer any.

Your situation is different from this neighbor's--she doesn't need the money, she just likes teaching the class. I just thought I'd share how I felt in case it would help you with your decision.
 
MAYNARDSMOM said:
Curious janie123 when you say it cost you $1800 for both kids - is that for a month?
I am a family daycare provider & I even sometimes wonder how families can afford to pay daycare. Especially those with more than one child.

I hope you can find something that will work for your situation. Maybe your idea of a friend who would be willing to watch them will work out for you. Good luck
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Hello Maynardsmom, . .yes it was for a month! At the time my kids were 2 and 4 and that was the going rate for the city I lived in. It was riduculous. They charged more for my 2 year old because she was younger, but yeah it was so not worth it. Mind you that did not even include the $75 per child registration fee that they charged. The city that I lived in was well, . . . . sorta affluent. My husband and I would joke about we were the poorest family in town. It seemed like we were the only family that drove a Honda Accord. Lexus, BMW, and Mercedes everywhere. We've since moved, . . that was 4 years ago. When my son was in kindergarten there it felt like private school. They kept asking for money for something. :(
 
fitnessluvr said:
I am working nights part-time as a personal trainer and it is sooooooooo frustrating to deal with childcare. I either drop my kids off at my husbands work (two boys, 2 and 5) for a couple of hours, drop them off at my friends house or take them to a daycare. So in the end my husband has to try and herd cats (or two boys) in a store full of nuts, bolts and power tools, or I feel like I am always in debt to my friend who keeps my kids, or I pay too much for childcare - it almost seems pointless to work.

Some days I just want to quit and go back to being a stay at home mom. But we need the money. I am grateful to have a job, but some days it feels overwhelming to try and deal with it all...

Ok all done venting.....
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Nah, don't do that. Just sell your kids on the black market and put the money into a new treadmill.
 
That is a crazy amount of money to pay!! No registration fee here, never understood that myself. I do charge more for a child under 2, which is typical.
In my area they do offer subsidized childcare covering allor part of your chilcare cost. Of course you have to live in a box to qualify :confused:
 
elsie3 said:
I'm sure your friend doesn't feel the same way as me, but I became resentful last week when my neighbor asked me to watch her kids so she could teach her spinning class. It was last-minute (but it didn't have to be because she had advance notice), and I had to cut my workout short to accommodate her. It bothered me that she was making money and getting her workout in, while I was stuck with a screaming baby and a toddler that was ripping my house apart--and I couldn't even have a shower! It would be different if there was some sort of reciprocation, but she didn't offer any.

Your situation is different from this neighbor's--she doesn't need the money, she just likes teaching the class. I just thought I'd share how I felt in case it would help you with your decision.
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I definately try and help my friend with her kids. I babysit them as much as I can, pick her daughter up from school, give her workout DVD's and advice....I really try and make sure she doesn't feel like she is taken advantage of. I bought her a spa pedicure as a thank - you for all she has done....But I still feel some guilt with dropping my kids off at her house every Tuesday.

I just hate being dependant on someone else for childcare when I have to go to work. The daycare maybe more expensive but at least I am paying them for their service and wont carry around a sense of debt to someone.....
 
I am a SAHM for many reasons but one of the biggest is because by husband travels. I am a nurse, so say my shifts were 7-3. I would need someone here at 6:15 am so I could be at work at 6:45. Or if I did 3-11pm I would need someone here until MIDNIGHT!!! That's just impossible.

I think childcare in our country as a whole sucks (not you Tami). The cost is astronomical, the fees, the hours etc. The going rate here is $10-15 per hour.
So that's for each child for 8 or more hours a day sometimes 5 days a week. I have no idea how some AFFORD TO WORK!!!!

I hope you find a better solution. I do trade off with a friend for babysitting so neither of us has to pay anyone, but it's more for trips to doctors or something. Not a whole day.

Good Luck
 
I think that is really nice of you to do that for your babysitter, especially since it is only on Tuesdays. I don't think you should feel so guilty. But I have been there a million times. I am lucky that my sis and mom live pretty much next door. My soon to be MIL watches them during the day for free, cuz she says they are pretty much her grandchildren now.:) But before, 5 years ago, it was $1650 for the two of them for a month. I had to quit my job because I couldn't afford daycare. It is very tough for families to find childcare AND/OR to live on one income.

Good luck, it is hard. But in my opinion it sounds like you reciprocate alot for your neighbor and that is really nice of you. Most women would LOVE a spa package. :)
 
I cannot believe the rates in other areas! Mayber I need to move ;). I charge a weekly rate not hourly. A Full Time weekly rate for a child over 2 yrs is $115/week. This is due regardless of whether they come or not - it holds the spot when they are absent. I am open from 7am - 5:30 pm Mon - Fri.
I also cannotimagine having to make the decision of choosing a provider whom I would trust with my children. That has to be very tough.
I must say all of the families I care for are wonderful. Always pay on time, have good kids & appreciate me.

PS - Elle, I knew you didn't mean me ;)
 
It's really funny the wide range of fees for daycare. I used to live in a fairly affluent area and home daycare was $45/day (including breakfast). In Toronto I've heard $55/day and then when you get more rural anywhere from $25 - $35/day.

When I moved north a few years ago I went from paying $45/day to $29/day so I took the savings and hired Molly Maid:D
 
If you have set days when you have clients, do you have the room in your house to consider hiring someone to come in home and watch your boys (and keep them out of you way?) In this economy I'm sure you could get someone good for not too much money. A retired grandmother who has some time and could use some extra cash or something. You'll be there so it's safer.
 
MommaPew said:
It's really funny the wide range of fees for daycare. I used to live in a fairly affluent area and home daycare was $45/day (including breakfast). In Toronto I've heard $55/day and then when you get more rural anywhere from $25 - $35/day.

When I moved north a few years ago I went from paying $45/day to $29/day so I took the savings and hired Molly Maid:D
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What a dream!
DH and I pay $2200/month for a nanny for our DS right now. That's more than one of our mortgages (you'll notice I said ONE of our mortgages...). Here in Chicago, daycare is as expensive as a nanny, so for us, at least we have someone that comes to the house.
We've done the math a lot, and we still make more with me working. But with 2, we'll see how that goes. I know we can't afford to double what we pay the nanny now. We can barely afford a raise for her at all!
 
Sorry, I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty!:eek: As long as your friend is okay with the arrangement, I see no problem. If it still bothers you, could you pay your friend rather than someone else for daycare? I doubt she would charge as much, and they would be with someone you know and trust.

fitnessluvr said:
I definately try and help my friend with her kids. I babysit them as much as I can, pick her daughter up from school, give her workout DVD's and advice....I really try and make sure she doesn't feel like she is taken advantage of. I bought her a spa pedicure as a thank - you for all she has done....But I still feel some guilt with dropping my kids off at her house every Tuesday.

I just hate being dependant on someone else for childcare when I have to go to work. The daycare maybe more expensive but at least I am paying them for their service and wont carry around a sense of debt to someone.....
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Perhaps there is a "Mom's Club" in your area. Some of them have babysitting co-ops that might work.
 
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