Feeling Guilty

[LaughingWater]

Like Cathy, I'm a SAH, homeschooling mom.

Staying at home isn't for everyone, and even for those of us who stuck with the commitment to stay home, there is an adjustment period. And mine wasn't pretty. I was lonely, depressed, exhausted, hormonal, and I swear my brains cells were dying off by the minute. I remember making my bed one morning and thinking, "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing with my life?"

It doesn't have to be that way though, something I eventually learned. In time, you'll figure out your priorities and the right balance for you and your family. It may mean part-time work, going back to full-time work, or it may require some other kind of goal in addition to being wife and mom. Patience. Whatever it is, it will come to you. Be open to it.

 

[martijean1]

Thanks ladies for helping me realize what an important job being a SAHM is (especially during the teen years)...With the new store(s) moving/addition this summer I'll keep busy, and until then will stay busy here at the house (thank goodness for flylady!)...I DO have a small business doing fundraisers for schools, youth groups and such which takes a very few hours a week, maybe I'll "up" my client base there? It's funny that until you all today, I truely DIDN'T understand what my "job" at home was...Then the girls came home with a look of love when they saw fresh, homemade brownies on the counter...Not ALL days are unappreciated! Guess I just have to look for the little golden pieces!

MJ in MN

 

[Stephanie0523]

I heard the other day on the news that if stay at home moms earned a paycheck, they would earn about $125,000 per year!! It is a HUGE job. Just yesterday I sat down and cried because I couldn't fit in a dentist appointment. When DH needs to go to the dentist or doctor, he simply tells his boss he's going to be late or leave early for an appointment. Me: I can't tell the kiddos that I'm going to need to take the afternoon off to go to the dentist. It's a 24-hour job, but it's not just a job, it's an honor and SUCH a blessing -- so we also feel guilty for having any gripes.

 

[chefkate]

nice post, stephanie! it is an honor & a blessing!

martjean, you hitt the nail on the head....we just have to look for the golden pieces. when i get feeling down abt xyz issue of being a sahm, dh tells me "the kids are healthy & happy...you are doing your job". i love him. i need to tell/show him more. sounds like you were just having an off morning.....you're entitled! i wouldnt trade being a sahm for anything but i for sure have my share of those days!
hope all your plans work out for you!

 

[lala1]

Martijean, you´ve gotten some good insights. Adjustments are difficult, but keep in mind that since you made this decision as a family, the kids had their say, too, and that they want you to be home for them speaks volumes! And it is true, "Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems", so whatever you work out in your schedule, you´ll be there for them. Good luck!

 

[LaughingWater]

Then the girls came home with a look of love when they saw fresh, homemade brownies on the counter...Not ALL days are unappreciated!

Heh...I like to bake and figured anything I did in the kitchen was little more than a mental indulgence for me. Then my daughter wrote a composition about something positive in her life ~ I forget the exact assignment ~ and she mentioned more than once the cooking and baking I do. Saturday morning breakfasts, Friday afternoon cookies, attempts at new cake recipes or fancy eclairs...this stuff apparently has made an impression on her because she associates these memories with fun and feeling content and secure.

My other daughter just wrote about how much she loves the ice skating we do twice a week, and it also was a reminder to me that the little things we do really mean a lot.

Less ideal but equally important, let us not forget the irritating errands/chores that come up and need to be done, especially the last minute ones. DH is always calling me with tasks or favors, "Can you call so-and-so and check up on...", "Can you get to the bank?", or "I'm working late. Can you cut the grass?"

Add this to the everyday stuff we do ~ driving kids from A to B, shopping, cooking, cleaning the house, laundry, ironing, daily care of the family pet, school work, addressing whatever drama pops up that week, yadda yadda...

$125K sounds good to me.

 

[chefkate]

LOL Lori!! The cards that my girls made for me for Mothers Day were all about how much I cook, how they love it, and how my food is better than any restaurant!

Then I got knocked off my throne..... Isabel made a card a preschool for her parents. It said "I really really love my dad. I love my mom." Thaaaanks, Honey!

 

[Shannon_B]

Hi MJ, I highly suggest you read Dr. Laura's book In Praise of Stay At Home Moms. It's a great book, I just bought it for my sister for mothers day who is a stay at home mom of 5 kids. Please check it out, you won't regret it!! It'll make you feel so powerful and so proud of what you are embarking on.